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Ryu vs Dhoulmagus
Fireball The funniest thing I've ever heard of is *anyone* from a Dragon Quest game trying to take on Ryu 3. You shouldn't play with people from cooler series, Dhoulmagus. And I can't wait to see what Kefka will do to you for stealing his gimmick when you finally meet. Ryu: 75 IhatethisCPU
Fei Fong Wong vs Citan Uzuki (Hyuga Ricdeau)
Namagomi A fight of two of Xenogears' best characters (untwinked, of course). This is indeed quite interesting. Fei is a powerful, and well-rounded unarmed fighter with a myriad of techniques to his name. To supplement this, he has a few extra tricks in his Chi "spells," most notably the ATK buff stacking in the Iron Valor/Yang Mode combo, making his devastating physicals that much worse. Citan is equally deadly of an unarmed fighter, with a bit less base power to his name, but gamebest speed. Additionally, he too has a variety of techniques, and can boost his already impressive speed through Senken. Finally, he too gets a major ATK boost, about halfway through, once he starts using swords--and he automatically receives one about halfway through. Fei's buffs take a number of turns to activate, though he could always use Yamikei. Citan's sword is always there thanks to being equipped. So ultimately, this comes down to who makes the first move. Who's faster again? Fei Fong Wong: 26 Virgofenix
IhatethisCPU
Ramirez vs Ryu
SageAcrin A arena, covered in ash and tears. Blood soaking the seats. Ramirez, battered and broken, standing in the carnage. Laughing. What could have caused this horror? --- "...that's it. We never, ever, ever have anyone fight a plot power fight as a gag again. At least not when their powers aren't really defined well." Ghaleon said, shaking his head. "Eeweeeheehee! But it was like the old joke! You know, can a rock be so big that Deathevens can't lift it? Or was it Althena? Oh, you know." Kefka said, laughing. "Where the hell did Ryu go after that, anyways? All I saw was a flash of light." Jecht said. "Ah, well, doesn't matter." --- "Hmmhmm...eh?" Nina the Second said, as she felt a tugging at her skirt. Turning from straightening up her room, she found a cute little girl silently staring up at her with tear-filled eyes. "...Oh, Ryu, you didn't. Not again." Nina said, sighing. "I told you, it's not worth trying to use Anfini. Oh well. Come on, we'll get you turned back to normal again..." Ramirez: 42 Barubary
Mewtwo vs Melfice
superaielman Mewtwo floated into the arena. His opponent was well known for a brutal blitzing style and being weak to mental attacks, both of which were things Mewtwo could handle easily enough. To the crowd's surprise, Melfice merely sat in the middle of the ring, reading a book while paying no attention to his foe. Mewtwo's shrug showed that he payed no attention to Melfice, either. What mere book could stop him? Winding up, he charged a mind probing attack at Melfice, with enough force to shatter his possessed mind for good. To the shock of the crowd, Melfice didn't even so much as look up when the wave of Psychic energy hit him. Mewtwo, however, promptly fell over, a twitching mess. Dropping the book, Melfice walked over to Mewtwo and punted the kitty all the way out of the arena in one kick. Without another word, the Horn of Valmar left the arena the victor. As soon as Melfice left, the crowd closed in on the book, curious to see what could fell Mewtwo in such a horrific way. What could shatter the mind of the smartest creature in the Duelling League? The book was dropped down on it's side, so the cover came down over it. It was quite easy to read what the title of the novel was. Chrono Cross plot review: An in depth synopsis. Mewtwo: 45
Reid Herschel vs Lang
Grefter Victory at any cost. It must be done. Lang wins and furthers the support for his cause. Thus is the nature of the Forgotten Warrior. Reid failed to show, his favourite bright pink baby-doll tank top was RUINED. It was a far to masculine dark blue. To make it worse someone had added sleeves and a collar. There is no way he could face his fans like that. No bright pink womens clothing? A high shirt collar covering up his trendy gimp neckware showing how he is the lowest of the low and deserves everything his master dishes out. IMPOSSIBLE CAN NOT BE DONE. But Lang must pay, oh yes, he will pay for this travesty. Reid Herschel: 28 
Momo vs Lilka Eleniak
Imperial Momo needs to take out Cecilia Jr. or Lilka as she likes to be called out before she stat boosts and protects. To do so she'll need to use her cannon. Unfortunately her glasses are usually broken so she can never aim quite well. Lilka will take advantage and walk all over her. Game Lilka. Not bad for your first match. Momo: 37 
Jr. vs Arngrim
SageAcrin Once again, swords and guns clash in an epic struggle to prove superiority. Jr. knew it all. Guns were mocked and reviled, historically. But his revolvers weren't some pansy-ass magical cannon things or some blunderbus. He was going to take that big oaf down from a distance, and never let him get anywhere near him. Some of his last thoughts were along these lines. "To my side, my noble Einherjar!" Lenneth was heard to call, as the battle started. "Huh. He didn't come in materialized? I wond-" Jr. cut off abruptly. Getting the hilt of a giant broadsword to the back of your head has that effect on some. "Heh. I should have tried this before. Who needs to fight fair, just get materialized in the right spot." Arngrim said, cracking his knuckles. "But I don't suppose it'll work twice. Ahhh, well." He shrugged, sheating his blade. Jr.: 30 IhatethisCPU
Limstella vs Jeremy Non
Lance How unfortunate that Jeremy runs into someone like Limstella in the very first round. There are very few fighters who can survive his all-out assault for long, but if there's one thing that spoils all his fun, it's an opponent who can counterattack. If his opponent's counters are strong enough, Jeremy may very well find himself dead before he even finishes his turn. Such is the case in this match. No matter what Jeremy tries to throw at Limstella, the morph will simply return the favor with a counterattack of her own. Nothing Jeremy has in his arsenal can prevent this from happening. Not the Vulcan Shredder. Not the Vulcan Cuisinart. Not the Vulcan Ice Cream Maker or the Vulcan Toyota Corolla or the Vulcan Pencil or the Vulcan Pencil Sharpener or the Freakin' Vulcan or even the Vulcan Vulcan. It all results in the same thing: numerous Fimbulvetr spells to the face and a loss for the Brionac officer. Limstella: 52
Popoi vs Beatrice
Dark Holy Elf Beatrice has a problem. Being a creature of dreams, memories, and computer data, she finds actually materialising into a physical form, a state the RPGDL requires for its duels, very taxing. Sure, she could probably defeat Popoi in a straight battle with her impressive HP and Nightmare spell, but would she have enough energy to win four such battles in the space of a few weeks? It wasn't something the calculating demon was willing to leave to chance. So, she found a solution: challenge Popoi to a different sort of duel, one in which each would attempt to put as many members of the RPG Duelling League to sleep in a two hour period. Normally, Popoi wouldn't be stupid enough to accept this - after all, his Sleep Flower is not only less potent than Beatrice's Nigthmare, and shorter-lasting, but he has a limited supply of MP to cast it with. But he accepted the challenge anyway. Who knew that sprites were incredibly susceptible to hypnotic suggestion while sleeping? Beatrice, apparently. Nobody ever expected her to play fair, anyhow. And so, when the appointed time came, Beatrice simply wandered the halls of the DL in her immaterial form, striking anyone sleep-vulnerable she came across with a Nightmare spell. It was effortless. Though it did strike her as odd that she was finding fewer people around than she expected... *** ... and as she later discovered, it was because the large majority of the RPGDL roster was attending a lecture on Randi's characterisation and personal conflicts with his friends and adversaries in Secret of Mana. With special guest lecturer Bordam Daravon. Sponsored by none other than Popoi. Needless to say, Popoi won, easily. How did he get everyone in place to listen to such a lecture in the first place? Simple. He enlisted the help of Purim, a Godlike. Even weak Godlikes tend to command attention in the DL, and they command far more when they arrange a session where they will permanently paralyse Zidane with chained Blaze Wall spells, and invite duellers from all over to come and use him as a punching bag. So Beatrice was forced to concede victory, and to recede, once more, into the shadows, to plot her next run to domination of the RPGDL subconscious, and the entire world (strange that such plans hinge on a getting a Middle championship first). She did get the last laugh, though. It turns out that hundreds of sleeping people in one place attracts the attention of large numbers of Gengars. The DL healers' union ended up suing Popoi for damages due to all the healing they had to perform on the legion of Dream Eater'd Suikoscrubs and Shining Force filler. Popoi will be fighting random encounters sixteen hours a day for the next month to raise the cash. Popoi: 45 
Gogen vs Clint Picard
Pyromania Because neither dueler wanted to be hit with the type of attack they loathed most... The two had a staring contest. Clint thought he had the edge. He was the strong and silent type after all. Tough as nails and able to go for days without sleep if need be (staying up late with Kira helped there). But he didn't anticipate Gogen falling asleep with his eyes open. By the time he came up with the brilliant idea of simply shutting the snoozing wizard's eyes and claiming victory, the audience had dwindled down to a bored collection of their cast-mates. On a side note, Diego seems to have had a rather rough rejection after trying to hit on Sania. They've yet to find all the body parts. Gogen: 25 
Nicolas vs Sheena Fujibayashi
Monkeyfinger "Oof. This is really, really irritating." Nicolas's heavy armor and mammoth shield were completely nulling the effects of Sheena's attacks, but also slowing him to the point where he couldn't keep up with her. After being knocked on his ass by Pyre Seal for the umpeenth time as Sheena backed off and charged her energy to unleash a summon, Nicolas was about ready to stomp out of the arena in disgust. "Okay, to hell with this, I'm gonna-" Sheena began to glow black. The big, bald, floating form of Maxwell appeared and started raining meteors all over the arena. Nicolas looked up, rolled his eyes, put his shield over his head, and duck-charged his way over to Sheena. As the summon ended and Sheena, exhausted from the effort of calling Maxwell, fell out of her overlimit, Nicolas hit her in the face with his axe really hard. MORAL OF THE STORY: Being fast, agile, and capable of summoning a hell of a nuke is a good way to get ahead in life, but it's hard to argue with being sued and arrested for copyright infring Nicolas: 42 Orson Carola
Fubar vs Arnaud G. Vasquez
Orson Carola The matchup was a no-match. Arnaud easily had this one in the bag, but tickets were sold to see how he'd do the honors. Little did Middle fans expect what had actually happened. Arnaud quickly defeated Fubar with stat downs and Hi-Blasts, but what happened next was particularly noteworthy. Arnaud dragged Fubar out of the arena, and into... "And welcome to the first ever Fine Dining with Fu Tan Chen! This will be a grand series premiere I shall tell you that! Today, we're in Port Rosalia at the recently opened Arnaud's Grand Portside Dinery with the head chef Arnaud G. Vasquez, who will show us his new sensational "Griffon Steaks over Wine Rice". Arnaud, showing complete enthusiasm over his cooking, began the cooking, drenching marinade over what little was left of Fubar while using some old fashioned Champaign to add flavor to the rice. He then began preparing the vegetables (one tomato, four carrots, and a head of lettuce) to add to the rice while the griffon meat simmered. After four minutes, Arnaud had prepared a big dish featuring barbecued griffon steaks topped with basil. On a side plate, a steamy helping of rice along with assorted vegetables. "Okay! Let's see what our judges think!" cried Fu Tan. The judges for the episode were Nikea, Flik, and Gengen. Nikea and Flik both gave perfect ratings, but Gengen gave a 1, soon having that overturned by the audience, who were mostly made up of Arnaud fans. Soon after, the restaurant succeeded, but Hugo has developed a grudge against Arnaud for the humiliation of Fubar. That still hasn't been ironed out yet, but it may be ironed out when the two face off on Iron Chef RPG. Fubar: 27 sailorstarhealer@hotmail.com
Jet Enduro vs Janus
Dark Holy Elf "Janus? I have to fight Janus AGAIN?" Jet was furious. "That's what the schedule says," said Gallows. "I agree, it's ridiculous; we already fought the guy what, seven times?" "Eight," said Virginia. "Too many, regardless," agreed Clive. He paused, adjusting his spectacles. "Still, is this really the same Janus? I seem to recall that Mr. Cascade was actually ranked in Heavy. Obviously, if that's the case, he can't be facing Jet this week." Jet snorted. "Him, a Heavy? Why, he'd be the weakest Heavy since... uh..." "Since you?" put in Gallows, which sent both Virginia and Clive into a healthy fit of chuckling. "... I was hoping you wouldn't point that out," muttered Jet. "Anyway, I see no reason for us to show any mercy to a man named Janus, even if it is a different one," said Virginia. "Clive, you said you had a plan?" The older drifter nodded. "That's right," he said. "Turns out our old 'friend' Melody is on the rule-making comittee this season. She hates us, but she hates people named Janus even more. Bad experience with both our Janus, and one who defeated her in a duel many seasons ago. Anyway, it was a simple matter: I came up with an interpretation that will allow Jet a certain something, and Melody saw it implemented." "A certain something?" asked Jet. "This better be good." *** It was over in seconds. Janus, of Crell Monferaigne, only had a few seconds to ponder as Jet first used Accelerator to take a free turn and... open his gun and drop its contents on the ground. He lazilly raised his crossbow to fire at the now unarmed Drifter, and... Then it happened. Jet walked up to Janus and beat on him five times with a flurry of punches and kicks. It didn't seem like it would be enough to fell the archer, but the force of the final blow sent him flying out of the arena, destroying no fewer than three walls in the process. "Finest Arts," said Clive with a smug nod. "... is technically a unique attack to Jet, as, like the rest of us, he possesses his own way of doing it." "That's a stretch," said Gallows. "Of course," said Clive. "But what fun would the Duelling League be if everything happened the way you expected?" Jet Enduro: 50 IhatethisCPU
Selphie Tilmitt vs Porom
Grefter It is a bleak day for the Duelling League (well probably not really). Today we have encountered the first (well probably not really) defeat by drug addiction. Selphie is now hospitalised and there are millions of well wishers (well probably not really) outside her hospital to give her familly her sympathy (don't even ask). The charges against Porom for dealing have not stuck (shock), connections between Porom and the Shady Thousand are suspected and accusations of the Judges of being on the take are wild. Porom was not available for comment, but when approached Shady Thousand himself had this to say "It is a real shame, kids these days. What can you expect from a girl who is friends with a fairy? Pixie sticks ain't exactly a difficicult thing to for a girl like that to get her hands on if you know what I mean. Now get lost kid, you bother me." Selphie Tilmitt: 47 SnowFire
Amy Sage vs Innes
SageAcrin Amy was a little depressed. Her opponent was an archer, who happened to be able to shoot twice against slow people. Amy wasn't fast. (This isn't her fault. How fast would you be if you hauled in a lot of medical equipment to a fight? Granted, she doesn't actually have to, but she never fights well without the ability to heal her human foes on hand. Hypocratic oaths can be a pain at points.) Amy only saw two solutions to this problem... --- Innes looked down at the defeated Amy with pity in his eyes. What could possibly have possessed her to dress in such a horrible dress, wear too much makeup, and start stalking him? The answer was beyond him. But he'd won. With a sigh, he shook his head and walked out of the arena. --- "Darn it. I should have went with the paralyzing drug idea." Amy said, shaking her head. "But I thought sure I'd be sexy enough to capture his attention." She sighed, munching on some chocolate. "Maybe he's...well, anyways, that doesn't matter." "...do you think we should mention that she doesn't talk to people much and spends most of her time in front of a computer or a game console since we got to the Duelling League, and knows about as much about seduction as a Sandworm?" Shir whispered to Rolf, as they watched Amy munch chocolate and type rapidly on a keyboard. "...Nah. Besides, at least she isn't overweight or nearsighted yet." Rolf whispered back, shrugging. "It could be worse." Amy Sage: 26 Lyndis
Mel vs Jacques
LegendaryCountryBoy Mel might have some quirky stealing tricks, maybe she can steal Jacques's headband... Until she takes an arrow to the head. Mel: 11 IhatethisCPU
Movies for Gamers who like Movies Starphoenix das Helpoemer Do I really need to say it? GET THESE MOTHER****ING SNAKES, OFF MY MOTHER****ING PLANE!!! Or maybe... I'M TIRED OF THESE MOTHER****ING SNAKES, ON THIS MOTHER****ING PLANE!!! With such award winning lines, is there any doubt that Agent Barret will land the plane safely? Of course, there has to be a few casualties, to name a few: Couple who's making out in the bathroom, Fat woman who gets a snake up her blouse, British guy who gets crushed and eaten by giant snake, Woman who uses the barf bag (a personal favorite), and the poor guy who was only using the bathroom to take a leak (three guesses as to where he got bit). Oh yes, then there's the pet lap dog that gets eaten by a snake. Good times... I expect that when this is all over, Hojo and Barret will be surfing or some such as the end music and credits begin rolling. But really, the real winners are the internet fans. Plane lands safely: 50 Plane lands, some hurt: 20 Plane crashes: 22 Rad Link 5
Hunter Sopko
Twilkitri
Grefter
Octillus
March of the Cruel Evil Bitch Queen Silverlocke980 It's Yuri against an utter madman! How shocking! Except it's not. Consider: -Veronica Vera is stranger than almost anything in existence. And Yuri not only met her, he killed her. -Rasputin was utterly insane. Yuri killed him as well. -Dehuai is so strange that he tied up an innocent Catholic girl and then *didn't* have his way with her. Yuri killed him, also. -Garan. The only thing I need to say. (Except, of course, that Yuri killed him too.) (Twice, in fact.) -Albert Simon wasn't that weird, but anyone who can just look at someone *casually* putting their arm back on after it's been sliced off is pretty strange. Ditto with the killing here. All of this adds up to one real big storm of weirdness in Yuri's life. Compared to this, Luca is utterly, absolutely normal. It also turns out that when buffed by For Everyone, Edge becomes literally impossible to hit- his pervert and ninja genes combine, making him nothing but a blur of black-colored horniness. (Luca spent three hours trying to kill him and only hit the lights.) Brey, on the other hand, gains a strange- power. Remember how Tellah remembered all his spells after Cecil became a paladin because the light returned them to him? Turns out that For Everyone works just like the light. And apparently, Brey used to be a lot like a wizard whose first name was Merlin, before he got old and standard old-guy weaknesses were applied to him, like forgetfulness, lechery, and general wussiness. (Those Ice spells are a mistake- turns out he was originally a Water mage, and as he got old he ended up doing the spells wrong.) (Henceforth, the reason Luca spent half the fight being drowned by giant tsunamis and/or fighting for his life against a giant octopus Brey kept summoning every time Luca managed to kill it.) Meanwhile, we all know what happens to Yuri under For Everyone. (For the Child becomes nuclear death. That you can keep using. Over and over again.) (Somewhat unfortunately for Luca.) In the wake of all this devastation, what occurred? Well... -It was discovered that you actually don't need eighteen people, archers, and a genius to kill Luca Blight. You actually need a giant octopus, thirteen tsunamis, a ninja, and wave after wave of killing light. -It turns out that bars are nowhere near as durable as giant walls of crushing water. -On a happier note, neither is Luca Blight. -In the short time he still had them, Brey used his newfound powers to exact revenge on the man who had ruined his pervert drive for a full week after a certain... "fight". -TimeLord's house was found sunk beneath the sea- which hadn't been near it the day before. -Ultros found out that the giant octopus was his type, and now they are currently dating. (Turns out she's always dreamed of being a princess.) -Edge used his powers to perform acts so torrid with Rydia that he has been officially rated the "greatest perv ever" by the entirety of the RPGDL. -And Luca Blight died. Horribly. It was a good day! Yuri wins easily: 42 Yuri struggles but wins: 22 Luca wins: 22 Xeroma
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