Chaos: 37
Myria: 43

legendaryflyingfailure
Chaos is basically a massive rampaging ball of death. Except not so much a BALL as a demon that is hell bent (pun intended) on destroying just about everything. Similarly, Myria is also a raging demonic compilation of things (mostly tentacles) that cause pain in increments that break several laws of time, space, and physics. Both have hit point totals that must be written in scientific notation. Both scoff at the idea of destroying mere GALAXIES. Chaos however is at a distinct disadvantage because he is Garland. First and foremost, anyone named after a Christmas decoration is automaticaly an idiot. Second, Myria among other things is a GodESS. She is a woman and therefore is succeptable to certain advantages in a fight at certain times of the month. The fight was over in less than a minute. As the pieces of Chaos that weren't charbroiled to the walls and several spectators rained from the sky, Yuri, irate at the amount of money he had paid for front row seats, For-everyoned the ticket booth to get his money back. Ryu the second stood immobilized as a dark stain spread down the front of his pants. Kefka laughed hysterically at the peice of kidney that was stuck to Ghaleon's right arm and the eyeball stuck to his face. Locke and Celes who had also gotten front row seats (for thier anniversary) were found very daised several miles away having been sent abruptly into the stratosphere by a nearby explosion. It took several minutes for the judges to call the match in Myria's favor on account of a sudden neccesary wardrobe change. After the damage was cleared and everyone else had gone home, Dagger approached Myria with an arrangement in mind. Dagger is now Myria's best friend in the entire world. And Zidane has not cheated on her once since the match. Although Chaos had many friends who sent him gifts in the hospital all of these were stolen by Thief who seeing as Chaos could only eat through a straw-elected to leave him the bag of jaw breakers that incidentally were sent from Myria as an appology.

Lurking Registered User
No, I don't scale bosses.

Yes, Chaos' HP are *JUST THAT BAD.*

jaymthegenius@yahoo.com
And Chaos, knowing that he'd have by far the toughest match of his life against Luther, had to DESPERATELY find an effective strategy, he thought to himself "If I can transform into Garland, why not Fayt?" So he transformed into someone FAAAR more powerful then himself "I will take on the identity of Fayt, complete with a Levantine" Luther entered the arena, thinking "This is going to be cake, that DL championship is a lock for me! Looks like an easy day" Then walks in disguised Chaos as Fayt "Looks like your going to be facing me today! Chaos couldnt make it and I'm filling in!" Luther, thinking to himself "But.. But... This doesnt make any sense! Wheres Chaos!"

Fayt: (raises for ethereal blast)

Luther: Ahhhhhhh! THATS IT! I resign!

Fayt: (reverts back to Chaos:
Chaos: Mwha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Fooled you!
Luther: (sinks head) Hmph, of all the cheap tricks.

But, that was last week, Myria and Chaos go at it this week. But transforming into Fayt Myria would see through as everyone knew Chaos had to transform into someone far more powerful then himself to win, but no transformations here, that strategies dead.

Myria: So, your trick in the last round got you this far, but your simply no match for me.

Chaos: Hah! I won my last round without having to do a single attack, but I've raised my stat's considerably by having someone cast stat boosters on me. and (Before Myria could blink she was hit 100 times)

Myria: How...How...?

Chaos: Haha! This is too fun! Fast was cast on me like sooo many times! I win! Woooooo!

Luther (watching from the stands): Hmph, what a cheap moron! That wouldve been my title if I wasnt stupid enough to fall for that illusion...

Malik Benedict vs Emily

Malik Benedict: 57
Emily: 19

IhatethisCPU
I fully expect psycho--psuedo-incest boy to win, but not upgrade, while Emily loses and upgrades.

Marisa vs Berserk
SageAcrin
"It's a ranged weapon!" "It's a bludgeon! Those are axes! Look at hammers!" "You idiots, axes can't hit multiple targets! It's blunt! It's clearly a staff!" "What!?"

Marisa and Belselk calmly listened to the judges argue.

"What in the hell are they talking about?" Belselk asked reasonably.

"I...think they're trying to figure out if you have weapon triangle advantage against me." Marisa said, watching the judges quibble.

"Mmmm. Does that really matter?" "No. Not even close." "Are they going to hold up the match with it hours?" "Probably, yes." Marisa sighed.

"Are we going to have to kill them?" Belselk asked, smiling slightly? "Afraid so." Marisa agreed. "Tell you what. The one that kills the most, wins the match."

"Hmhmhm. You know I'm not limited to fighting just one poor fool with this, don't you?" Belselk said, hefting his hammer and grinning. "Of course. You'll have an unfair advantage. Like you had when the match started." Marisa smiled. "I know when I'm beaten. I don't mind, if it's in a good cause."

"No, it's unevadable! Clearly it's a form of dragonbreath!" "Huh?" "What?" "You idiot!" "You're disgracing SeeD, all of you!" "What? Cool off, Squall! Besides, he's clearly a demon, it's a monster weapon!" "Can't we all just go look at some trains instead of arguing over this?"

Marisa and Belselk smiled at each other, and got down to buisiness.

Marisa: 29
Berserk: 49

Shante vs Virginia Maxwell
Gatewalker
The stands in the Light arena were nearly empty, setting a record low for the attendance of any finals match, even in Light. The only souls in sight were the castmates and friends of the two fighting. It seemed that everyone else was packed into the Godlike and Middle arenas like sardines in a can, just waiting to see Myria take her fourth championship or watch Belselk and Marisa go at it in what many were calling the best fight of the season. Hell, even the perverts couldn’t seem to be bothered to show up, and they normally turn out in force for a match like this.

Well, ok, the perverts were missing for an entirely different reason. It seems that Clive and Elc did a little sniping, burning and general mangling of any pervert they could get their hands on before the match started, and left clear warning that they would do much worse to any pervert who decided to crash the fight. It was a pretty effective tactic too, every pervert who didn’t get roughed up beforehand decided that cowardice was the better part of valor, and left well enough alone. Well, all except for one. Young master Sheena Lepant was not about to be scared off by a couple of ruffians, even if one of them was a Godlike. After all, he was judging this match, and made it very clear that the moment someone touched him, he was calling disqualification. Right now, he was the man with the power, and he was going to abuse it.

Which he did by turning the fight into a bikini mud wrestling match, of course. No real surprise there, but what was surprising was that Shante and Virginia(well, once she got Maya’s go ahead, anyway) were quite ok with it. One quick change into their bikinis later, and the two young women were struggling with all their might for a championship in a pool of slippery mud while the small crowd(mostly Gallows and Maya, really) cheered them on.

At first, it seemed Virginia would have the upper hand, with her natural slipperiness only being enhanced by all this mud, and her experience in, ah, ‘handling’ other women. In short order the drifter had the songstress pinned down, and almost had the victory, if it weren’t for one small issue. She couldn’t stop laughing.

Shante, sensing her imminent defeat, decided to take a gamble and stopped struggling under Virginia’s pin, and started tickling instead. It paid off, as Virginia is apparently very ticklish. Before long, their positions were reversed, and it was Shante who was holding her opponent down for the pin, and then getting the win when Virginia just couldn’t stop laughing long enough to fight back.

While Shante got the championship, there were no hard feelings or bitterness after the fight. In a sense, everybody won, really. Shante got her championship and showed the world that Elc wasn’t the only worthwhile fighter to come out of their cast. Virginia and Maya got Shante to agree to come have dinner with them sometime, to celebrate her victory. Sheena, Gallows and the rest of the crowd got, well, it’s pretty obvious what they got out of this. All in all, this was a good day for everyone.

Unless you count all those poor mangled perverts, but who ever counts them?

Shante: 31
Virginia Maxwell: 30

IhatethisCPU
...I'll vote for anyone, if they have the strength to SHUT VIRGINIA UP! So, go Shante.

Lezard Valeth
Shante and Virginia after some exhausting minutes in the match decides to settle the score with a song in line with last week match (insert link here).

Shante won of course however after a near fatal incident in which a cloak assassin who use a double barreled shotgun nearly killed Virginia during the match, Shante who was near her pushed her out of the way.

Virginia still takes some of the shells as does Shante, but Shante decides to give her victory to Virginia. Why you ask? Suffice to say Shante is feeling kind of generous and decides if her opponent won she won't stop preaching about spreading your wings.

Some time later....

"So Jet let's ride into the sunset and spread our wing."

Jet replied,.....(why can't she just keep her trap shut)

Virginia notice Jet's lack of attention, wave her hand in front of him, "earth to Jet, come in Jet".

"Cut that out will ya" *Shoves her hand away*

"Good", Virginia replied, "Let's go" as she rides her white horse into the sunset.

"'Sigh' here we go again," Jet mumbled as his horse trailed behind Ginny's

Silverlocke980
Virginia vs. a parasitic healer? Hilarious.

Remember, Virginia has a one-hit "doom move" that makes the toughest people bow down- Gatling, at full power, has enough raw physical damage to cripple a Heavy, let alone kill anybody in Light.

Her opponent is a healer, in Light, from an Arc the Lad game.

I think I've said enough.

Nice try, Shante! See you again next tournament.

A Philosophical Experiment
~Sei

erewnt@yahoo.com
Regardless of the in-conceivable defense bonuses Myria is subject too, the though of Junctioning 100 Ultima into Brahms, who already can single-handedly solo most of the Seraphic gate bosses (at least mine seemed capable of), is just too much to believe.

The Irresistable Force: 38
The Immovable Object: 32

Lurking Registered User
Unfortunately, several FF Berserks prevent the user from performing special attacks, techniques, or anything of the sort.

So Brahms attacked with a basic physical instead. The universe held its breath as a punch that could shatter planets flew towards

Myria. Time slowed down. The punch moved forwards, glacially, unerringly towards its destination...

There was no chance of missing. Not with some Robot Taisen Love in effect.

So it came as a complete surprise when he whiffed anyway, making Myria the winner.

See, the universe doesn't *like* paradoxes. Or attempts to solve age-old quandaries.

So when Brahms attacked, the damage simply didn't happen.

Well, not to Myria, anyway.

The universe still has to obey the laws of conservation, and so - rather than cancel the damage outright, it was instead

transferred to a more likely target.

And *nobody* in the DL is more likely to take a completely random universe-obliterating damage-cap-busting enough-nines-to-fill-

three-pages-of-text-in-damage shot to the gonads than the unluckiest man alive, Ashton Anchors...

...

...

... Except for the unluckiest *monkeyboy* alive, Zidane, who is now a fine mist spread out over several million light years.

Nobody knows *how* the healers are going to bring him back from this one.

legendaryflyingfailure
while it would please me to launch into a long diatribe about why Brahms is going to fail miserably it's basically unneccesary. Because simplicity is always best and often more humorous than a more complex alternative. I say all of that to say this. Brahm's goal is to kill Myria in one shot. Myria is a BOF boss. BOF bosses can't be killed in one hit because they get second wind.
And yes, for those of you that are curious, Brahms is feeling very VERY stupid right now.

The DL Price is Right
~dude789

Namagomi
There are two constants with anything related to the Price is Right.

One: Almost nobody wins both showcases, ever.

Two: At least one person will bid 1.

And as such, after much deliberation to themselves over the prices, Chongara bidded 1.

Then on Lemina's turn...

...she bidded 2.


...it never really is a good idea to bid "1" on anything in the Price is Right unless you're sure everyone else managed to overbid.


Lemina: 27
Chongara: 12
Double Overbid: 27

Hunter Sopko
Lemina's penny-pinching ways are a big help. $1 bid! With Chongara going out on a limb and overbidding, Lemina takes home the prizes.