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TimeLord vs Wugui
superaielman "So you're saying that Ghaleon and his flunkies, along with every single toughguy and bully he could hire, are waiting to jump and beat the crap out of me. Along with an extremely smug Wugui, who seems to be under the impression he immunes Overdrive." "..." "And everyone there is under the idiotic impression that Wugui will in fact immune Overdrive and pound me into the dirt." "..." "..Did they all forget that I keep a Blood Chalice handy? Who did they hire to figure this out, Shion?" "...!" "Ghaleon was so happy to get another shot at me that he didn't check his source. Sloppy. Even worse, it means Shion looks good if this pathetic trap works." *Nod* "Why you? Aren't you busy dealing with Shania? Why should I trust you?" "........,...!" ..."Cute. Yeah, I have a one time use scroll for TimeEclipse handy. Sounds like fair payment to me. " "..." "She called you a Suiko-scrub? I wouldn't take that either." "..." "It was my pleasure, Tir. Hope to see you in the semifinals." ----------------- The crowd barely got a glimpse of TL before the fight started. One second he was standing in the middle of the arena, keeping a careful eye on an extremely pissed off Ghaleon. The next second he was gone, and the arena was empty. Wugui's shattered remains were spread all over the arena. A short note was scrawled on the arena floor, written in what looked to be a a hastily done Mystic's handwriting. "Turns out you were right. Wugui *can* move during OverDrive. It just turns out the forces of the universe don't like anyone but the caster moving. You wouldn't believe how fast he got torn apart. It wasn't fast enough him, I can assure you! Try again next time." "PS: Shion? Even Magical Girl Ghaleon can do better than that. Perhaps wearing your lucky Fuku will help? I just so happened to have a copy with me. You can thank me later. PPS: Thanks for the assist Tir!" A fuku stood over Ghaleon's head, completely with fanservicey skirt thrown over his face. The results were not pretty. TimeLord: 50 
Gilgamesh vs Jade
SageAcrin A master of blades. A giant monstrous abomination. Who is also a bishounen. Clearly, the master of blades must be the hero of this tale! (After all, he likes swords.) Gilgamesh was to venture forth on his quest through time and space. On his daring quest, he would fight the most dangerous of monsters("Pika?"), gain stalwart allies("I like trains!" "I HATE SEXY WOMEN! And you, too." "ALL THE HOOCHIES THAT OPPOSE US SHALL FACE FRUE DESTRUCTION." "Pichu!") and make their way to the Evil Floating Castle Island Tower Bastille Angelic Realm Of Destruction, Doom And Intense Discomfort, where Gilgamesh was to defeat Jade once and for all, in single combat! And then all the blades of the world would be his! And then he would have the ultimate power, the power of heroes! And the girl, as well! --- "Man, he's hard to wake up." Bartz said, bashing Gilgamesh's head with a mallet. "I told him not to take sleeping pills, but noooooo." "Mmmm, Selphie...mmm, Lenna..." Gilgamesh muttered into his pillow. "...that's it, I'm just not waking him. For one thing, he might start hugging me." Bartz said, with a shudder. "It's probably kinder anyways, Jade would crush him." Bartz mutteringly added, as he walked out of Gilgamesh's room. Gilgamesh: 30 
Cecilia Lyne Adelhyde vs Killer
Taishyr "Where's my opponent?" Killer asked the judges, lounging over the box. "I'm rather bloody bored here." Rand shrugged as Katt and the second Nina cooed over the red-haired murderer. "Like any of us would know. If we knew of reason to cancel a match, we would." Bow strolled up to the stand. "I... think I figured it out." He held up the advertisement for the match - a full-color, gaudy thing, with a perfect picture of Cecilia on the left and... "What. the. HELL." Killer said as he jerked away from the poster. "Yeah, that's definitely not you, Killyboy." Bow chuckled. "Call me that again and I snap your neck." Killer snarled. "Isn't that one... Gilbert?" Katt asked after a second. "I can't recognize the other one, though." "I think it's Peppor." Nina replied. "No matter who it is, naked mud wrestling is not what I want to be seeing any two guys doing." Rand said as he snatched the poster and crumpled it up. "That'd explain the Perv Squadrons out in force today." "She must've thought it was a mud wrestling match and stayed home." Killer said. "While I wouldn't have minded, Lady would've... so it's probably best this way." "...but who would've designed the posters?" Nina mused, making the rest of the people pause. -------- Meanwhile, Lady ghosted from telephone pole to bus booth, slowly taking down pictures with a seraphic grin on her face... Cecilia Lyne Adelhyde: 23 
Shania vs Tir McDohl
superaielman To the surprise of the entire arena, Tir vs Shania wasn't bloody. It wasn't brutal. Hell, it barely happened. Tir calmly walked into the arena, attached a scroll to his rune, and fired off a Deadly Fingertips. Instead of a blast of Instant Death magic, a wall of stone quickly encased Shania and knocked her out before the fight began. Even more surprising was Tir running as fast as possible out of the arena after the match, with a rather pissed off looking Royce hot on his heels. Shania: 34 T.G. Nevareh
Claude Kenni vs Amon
SageAcrin The young hero. The cruel demon. There are so many cliches about these things, aren't there? I mean, Amon clearly had no chance, right? --- "Oh, come on, sweety, let's get you all dressed up!" Amon happily yelled, from within his neon pink clothing, as he chased the frantically fleeing Claude around the arena. "...Erim. Tell me again. How drunk did you get Amon?" Gades asked in an undertone, as he watched the pink, prissy and frilly Amon rush around the arena. Erim silently gestured to a point around five feet above her head, using her spear. "And how much did you use of the brainwashing drugs?" Erim gestured slightly lower. "And...why?" "Boredom, mostly. We never get to do anything fun." Erim said, with a sigh. "Well, I do, but it's still pretty rare." "Well, seeing as how Claude seems to have finally come to his senses and started stabbing your fellow Sinistral, it seems you have succeeded." Gades answered, annoyed. "You have made a mockery of all we stand for and horrendously humiliated, not to mention engineered the defeat of, one of your own kind. Don't you have anything to say for yourself?" "Punish me and all the narccisists will come after you." Erim noted boredly. "..." Gades shuddered. Claude Kenni: 55 
Rofel Wodring vs Lezard Valeth
SageAcrin The bright lights. The dramatic music playing in the background. Yes, there was only one way a match of this magnitude, this epic, could be settled! --- "OH MY GOD, WHY ARE THEY DISCOING!?" Fei shrieked from his position in the judges box, as he stared in total horror as Lezard and Rofel gave it their all on the dance floor. Ness silently pointed at Kuja, who was happily singing along-into a microphone-to Disco Inferno. "..." Fei slumped into his chair, staring blankly at the match. Ultimately, the conclusion was foregone, though. Can you imagine anyone looking better in bellbottoms than Lezard Valeth? Rofel Wodring: 30 Frankiebunny
Auron vs Edgar Roni Figaro
Dunefar There's one thing to remember - old men have bad teeth. Edgar has a big drill. Really, what happens next is logical; Dentist Mode Edgar wins the day. What, you don't believe me? Would YOU stay to fight Edgar if his drill was coming after your pearly whites? Didn't think so. Auron: 34 Mathias
jaymthegenius@yahoo.com
Garan vs Teepo
Namagomi "I SHALL STRIP THE FLESH FROM YOUR BO--" ...were the last words heard from Garan as the six-second match began and ended, with Garan having been snatched off of his pillow, chewed up, and swallowed by Teepo's dragon form, only for him to add insult to victory by floating out of the Arena on that very pillow... Clearly, this match ran in the history of such wonderfully short and anticlimactic matches, such as Zog vs. Geshp, or Lede's and Alys' respective Heavy and Middle runs. The entire collection of which have been compiled into a two-minute video that has been put into circulation around the internet. ...oh, as for Teepo? He was reportedly found dry-heaving over the toilet for six hours the next day. The doctors at the DL Infirmary say that he should be able to graduate off of intraveneous feeding in a few weeks... At least he still has that very cool floating pillow... Garan: 10
Kazan vs Gallows Caradine
Taishyr Thomas and Cecile watched in awe as jars and bottles flew through the air. Tables were exchanged, stools slammed into each other's face, but in the end, Kazan was the one finally taking a sip from his jar as his opponent lay unconscious, one sandaled foot on his shoulderblades. "...and CUT! That's a wrap. Thanks for being willing to do this, you two. I've been looking for a way to do this commercial for ages." Taloon said to the two heartily as Gallows stood up and dusted himself off. "You two did a great demonstration." He lifted one of the stools and examined it happily. "See, not a crack, fracture or undone part anywhere. Taloon and Arc's Invincible Furniture's gonna revolutionise the industry! And here's your money. Thanks again!" Kazan nodded soberly and turned to Thomas. "So, should we begin the fight now?" "Actually..." Thomas hesitated. "You guys just did." Cecile said authoritatively. "It's past 1400 - so that was your fight right there! And since Gallows was the loser in the commercial, he also lost there. Sorry, but rules are rules!" The two fighters looked at each other, shrugged, and went to get a beer. Kazan: 44 
Tempest vs Cormag
Gatewalker To say that Cormag was nervous about facing off agianst Tempest, the greatest archer in his world, would be an understatement. Archers were the worst kind of opponent for the Wyvern Lord to face, of course. Their arrows are supremely effective against flying monsters, as well as having the range to get around his fearsome counters. To put it quite simply, Cormag was pretty sure that he was just plain screwed here. But in spite of that, he still came to the match. It wasn't in Cormag to just roll over and give up. And a good thing too, as if he had, he couldn't have won the match. What's that you say? How did he win against someone who so expertly targets his weaknesses? Well, it was a little unorthodox, and partially by accident, but that's not exactly an odd occurrence around here. You see, when the match started, Cormag took to the sky as always, and Tempest wasted no time in putting a few arrows in the wyvern, prompting great screams of pain from the giant lizard. Deciding to take a chance at a full on attack, Cormag came down in a high speed dive towards the archer, just as Tempest's second volley stole the life away from his mount. That turned out to be a bad move on Tempest's part. Seeing as the wyvern was already plummeting towards him, he just turned it from a live creature, to dead weight. Cormag, seeing where this was going, bailed off his mount and hit the ground hard, breaking a leg in the process. But that was nothing compared to what happened to Tempest. Having a dead Wyvern bounce off your head isn't very pleasant, after all. Tempest: 31 
Destin Faroda vs Kyle
SnowFire Before the battle, Destin went to Warren's tent for a consultation over the upcoming battle with the bandit Kyle. To his surprise, Warren wasn't there. "Why hello there, handsome. My name is Royce, Warren's new apprentice. I've been examining your future from Warren's tarot card collection here, and I'm pleased to say that it's very good." This was odd. Destin hadn't heard anything of Warren taking on someone new. Still... "Let's see here- ah, The Fool. That's no surprise. Your opponent is an idiot. We also have - the Priestess? So she wants to show up, but that should easily be dealt with. And as for the final card... ah, The Tower, one of my favorites. Dark destruction shall rain down on your unfortunate foe's head! Go ahead, take the cards. They should be useful." With his cheaty cards in hand, the fight was easy. Jessica & Kyle had had another spat, so Destin was able to remove Jessica from action with the Fool Card and even recruit her for some quick Priestess healing to recover from Kyle's brutal Power Slash. Finally, Destin unleashed the might of the Tower of Althena upon Kyle, crushing him into oblivion with the Black Dragon's magic. On the downside, Destin checked his Alignment after the battle, and found that it had dropped again and was almost at 0. Why did this keep happening?! Had he not slain an evil bandit? "I'd better go back to Royce for some more advice," Destin thought. Destin Faroda: 36 
Gordon vs Halley Brancket
Orson Carola Gordon may have been bruised mentally when he was the target of the EDF as part of a plan to assassinate him, but imagine, if you will, the atomic bomb that will drop on his ego after he gets his rear end smashed by a kid from London with a slingshot. And if you listen closely, you can hear the sound of Kurtis absolutely ROLLING on the floor laughing. Gordon: 27
Emma Hetfield vs Sanae Yamamoto
SageAcrin Two beautiful, gorgeous women. Don't we know how these things always turn out in the Duelling League? --- "...why isn't there..." Sanae looked up in the stands vaguely. "...I know what you mean." Emma answered, sighing. "There aren't any up there. No perverts at all." "...but...I mean...is it the glasses?" "Don't ask me." "...aw. But...aw." Sanae scanned the crowd again, vaguely heartbroken. "It's okay. We'll just go out and get some drinks after the fight." Emma noted. "I don't...feel much like fighting." Sanae sighed. "Then call the match." "Oh, whatever." Sanae answered, glumly, as she waved at the judges box. --- "Man, Sanae's going to love hearing about this!" "Kueeee!" Hugo, mounted on his trusty Griffon, laughed lightly as he menaced several perverts back into the pit that had been dug to hold them, several miles from the arena. "Hmmm. Well, I can't see how she'd complain about not getting her clothes ripped off, anyways." Sgt. Joe noted. "Good day's work, Hugo." Emma Hetfield: 44 
Mukumuku vs Mio
SageAcrin Have you ever seen a squirrel get drugged? No? Well, there's a good reason for that. A very, very large reason. --- "...why is the squirrel fourty feet tall." Mio asked, as she stared up at the gargantuan Mukumuku. "All I did was use my nerve gas on it..." "MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" GigaMukumuku bellowed, as it proceeded to take to the air, aiming for Mio. Unfortunately, like all large Suikoden monsters, the massive Mukumuku had a fatal weakness. As it soon learned as it missed Mio, crashing into and leveling several rows of the stands. And, naturally, getting a ring-out declared against him in the bargain. It's okay, the little fellow will be up and around in a day or so. And will be a little fellow again, by then. Mio's looking into buying new glasses. And also looking into beating Saki into an admission that she drugged her. She can't have seen any of that right. Right? Mukumuku: 13 
Axel vs Big Joe
Gatewalker This match was decided rather quickly, but didn't end for awhile. Big Joe came in, as he always does, flexing and posing and generally making a spectacle of himself. But as Joe was getting the crowd going with his antics and constant blather about how he's so exciting and dynamic and the best and such, Axel did something rather unexpected. Throwing down his sword, the fighter from Na Nal pulled on a blue headband and some red gloves, and then proceeded to beat the hell out of Big Joe with his bare hands. Of course, some random thugs, ninjas and corrupt cops jumped in the arena to join the battle on Joe's side, but they were no match for Axel and the power of his Grand Upper attack. Things got even uglier when Axel got his hands on a baseball bat. After a few minutes of such beatings, Axel finally laid down his trump card. A quick call for some assistance of his own had a police car tearing into the arena and spraying down the already beaten bloody Big Joe with napalm. In other news, despite his son having won the match, Axel's father took away his Genesis as well as smashed every copy of Streets of Rage he could get his hands on. That's alright though, he's being sent plenty of replacements by fans who want to see him do that again. Axel: 45 
Jean vs Kahn
Gatewalker There...was a bit of a misunderstanding with this match. Hearing that a frenchman named Jean was to face off against the legendary Kahn, the arena was flooded not with Breath of Fire fans, but with Trekkies. Yes, you read that right. Trekkies. Some fan heard about the match in passing and then went ballistic, thinking that Jean-Luc Picard was going to do battle with Kirk's old nemesis, Kahn, and proceeded to talk about it at every Star Trek message board and fansite in existence. It was being hailed as the ultimate test of original Trek vs. TNG, was Picard good enough to take down one of Kirk's foes? Or would Kahn prevail and prove that Kirk was indeed the greatest captain ever? Oh, but that wasn't all. Fans of Sisko and Janeway arrived at the match in droves as well, protesting that their favorite captain was not being represented in this match. Then the Star Wars and Babylon 5 fanatics came to heckle and boo all the Trekkies, and try to prove the superiority of their own pet shows. So imagine the surprise of all of these hardcore nerds when the match began and they were greeted, not by a tea drinking captain and a genetically altered superman, but a rapier wielding frog and a brawny loudmouth. There was a riot, of course. Thousands upon thousands of nerds going ape because they had been deceived. That prompted a quick change in the match. As the judges were running for cover, they quickly told the fighters that whoever could subdue the riot would be the winner. Jean went at it like a gentleman, of course. Politely pulling aside a few rampaging nerds at a time and talking them down. No violence was needed on his part. They were all reasonable gentlemen(and the odd lady), so simple discussion and diplomacy was all it took to calm them down. Kahn just dove into the crowd and did what musclebound loudmouths do best, which is to put the hurt on any nerd he got his hands on. You tell me who finished first. Jean: 26 |
