 |
|||||||||
|
Profound Darkness vs Rosa Harvey
SageAcrin A great evil. A young girl, at her mercy, without a hope of surviving alone. A common story, binding together the fates of many tales into one common thread. Clearly, the young girl would have friends, friends that would rescue her! The noble paladin. The daring ninja. The couragous summoner. The mighty dragoon. The young, yet daring, twin spellcasters. The devastating engineer. The skilled monk. The spoony bard. All of these were on the girl's side! Surely, there was no way that the great evil could ever triumph. --- "...Okay. I expected the entire Final Fantasy 4 cast getting mowed down, when they all charged in in ones and twos." Orlandu said, calmly. "I expected Rosa to lose. But why, exactly, is everything dark, and why is there a giant Game Over in the middle of the arena?" "Because the simple fact of the world is, when the myth faces the reality, the reality usually wins." Magus noted. "It's just a bug. Don't worry, I'll have it fixed in no time." Luther said. "Heheheheh, and they all called me just a pathetic nerd. Who's laughing now!?" "...he...needs to get laid." Orlandu mumbled under his breath. Profound Darkness: 61 
Jecht vs Lady
Monkeyfinger Auron got Jecht shit faced drunk the night before his match with Lady, let him pass out, then bound him up and tossed him into a blitzball arena. "Gee, you sure don't seem to want my dad to fight. Afraid he'll get destroyed?" Tidus said to Auron as he walked away from the big water filled sphere. "No, no, kid. You know your father. He'll see his opponent, get aroused, chat her up. Lady will smile seductively back, and Jecht will move in for a kiss..." Tidus froze in place out of horror as he remembered what happened the last time Jecht got filled with an immense, evil power, and what happened to everything Lady managed to fill with her malice. "You prepare for everything, old man. I don't know what I'd do without you." Tidus finally called out to the slowly moving away back of Auron. Auron just chuckled and kept walking. Jecht: 15 
TimeLord vs Jade
superaielman Jade's fearsome durability gives TimeLord two problems here. The first is that his trademark OverDrive spell and chain of attacks will do nothing but bounce off Myria's loyal bug. The second problem is that Jade's durability just isn't physical. Having been abused and mocked for pretty much his entire DL career, he's used to taking the worst insults people can throw out. The mental tricks that so overwhelmed the Magical Emperor will only cause Jade to shrug and keep throwing off BoltX spells till the TimeLord's nothing but ash. Sometimes no matter how tricky or skilled you are, you sometimes just have to grin and bear it. In TL's case, at least he'll be fried so badly by BoltX that there won't be anything left for Ghaleon to attack. TimeLord: 18 
Killer vs Tir McDohl
Monkeyfinger "A guy who kills his opponents by throwing knives at them?" Gremio said to his master Tir. "That Riou fellow who led the 108 stars after you has his fair share of experience dealing with that kind of thing. Perhaps you should talk to him." "............." "Uh.... oops. I guess Nanami and I will have to do all the talking for the two of you." And so, to prepare his predecessor for his fight with Killer, Riou taught Tir the fine art of deflecting projectiles with a blunt weapon. Every time Tir messed it up, of course, Nanami cringed in pain. After successfully batting aside 0 straight knives thrown by Rina, followed by 15 straight arrows shot by generic Matilda grunts, Tir nodded confidently and strutted towards the arena. Now, because Riou was used to blocking things shot at someone else, he of course taught Tir all wrong. Didn't prepare him at all for dealing with things flying right at him. Tir, realizing this just a little too late, shot Riou a look of pure murder right before the knife in his throat caused him to black out. Killer: 32
Albert Simon vs Gau
SnowFire A sorcerer vs. a wild kid? Pah. Still, Cardinal Simon was going to cover all his bases. He was already well versed in dark magic, of course. His pact with Amon gave him some neutralish type powers, since he always seemed to be a bit between Asmodeus and Astaroth. And with his newly formed alliance with Destin against annoying yet somehow powerful kids, the sacred sword Brunhilde gave him some holy punch to his attack. What could Gau possibly counter with? Gau did his best charming seduction routine, and he definitely tried. Unfortunately, the Cardinal came into the battle quite prepared; he'd already read some of the real Roger Bacon's magazines, knew about Gepetto's friends habits, and had personally observed some of Veronica Vera's work in Sapientes Gladio. By Shadow Hearts standards, this was not really shocking at all. Albert did his best to stifle a yawn; "is this the best you can do, good sir? I grow tired with this game." Rather than use !!! or Demon Rays, Albert decided to simply fight while in cutscene form instead. The judges surely wouldn't mind a good explosion of half the landscape to clean up for this little debacle. Albert Simon: 54 
Liete vs Hrist Valkyrie
SageAcrin Perverts have been found in the Duelling League's annals many a time. Very, very many. However, there are always new, and exciting, ways to use perversion! --- "...Okay, this has officially gotten too weird for me." Liete noted, staring at her large, rolled up ball of perverts. "Wandering around the Duelling League, rolling perverts up into giant balls? Who could possibly be this deranged?" --- "Who made Anise a judge, and why does she have that ridiculous outfit on her doll? And why did she make a big deal about telling everyone it was an outfit of a Prince or something?" Rolf asked, curiously, as he stared at the small girl yelling at the duellers rolling up perverts into balls. "Kefka." Yuna replied, simply. "Oh. That explains it. But I didn't think non-ranked people could be judges." "Kefka." "...right, never mind." --- Ultimately, Hrist, in her sheer determination to never be a laughing stock again, easily won. Well, that, and she, you know. Has wings when she needs them, along with the strength of the gods. Ultimately, unlike Liete, who simply muttered and stammered during the entire thing, Hrist enjoyed the entire proceedings greatly. How often do you get to stab a large ball of perverts for being too noisy? Liete: 14 
Claude Kenni vs Lezard Valeth
superaielman Lezard's cold gaze bared down on Ensign Kenni. The gaze was utterly insane and promised death beyond dying. The very energy of the arena crackled and bent, as Lezard's very presence made the universe itself bend to his will. His powers were as close to infinite as making it not matter. Claude looked incredibly outmatched by this destroyer of worlds. "Ahahhahaha. What can stop me? I control space and time itself, you pathetic wretch. What can one little boy with a sword do to stop the almighty Lezard Valeth?" "Nothing. I do have a friend of a friend.. well, he specializes in breaking barriers of the overwhelming variety. All I'm supposed to do is hold up this staff like so..." "..Wh..what? HOW CAN THIS BE? MY BARRIER IS GONE!" "And I that did the trick. Now, Mr Valeth, there's one burning question that everyone is asking- how many strikes from Mirror Slice does it take to turn a nerdcromancer into dog food? Let's find out!" --- Sadly for Lezard, the answer turned out to be 'not many'. Claude Kenni: 48 
Edgar Roni Figaro vs Teepo
Gatewalker An evil and despicable dragon. A dashing young king who is skilled with a blade. Everyone knows how this is supposed to end. Edgar also knows that this is the RPGDL and next to nothing ever goes the way it's supposed to around here. It also didn't help that Teepo was quite strong, even for a dragon, and that Edgar himself did not posses any manner of mystical dragon-slaying device. So, knowing that he was certainly going to lose, Edgar decided to claim a moral victory. As the match started, he lunged at the dragon before him, leaping high into the air and screaming out a battlecry of defiance and rage. Teepo simply did what comes most natural to any dragon when something smaller then them is flying directly at their head. He ate it. With one fluid motion, he plucked Edgar out of the air with his massive fangs and swallowed the reckless king whole. Ten seconds later, he exploded. It seems that Edgar decided to go out with a rather literal bang, and had strapped on every explosive he could get his hands on, as well as soaked himself in gasoline, before the match. The ensuing explosion was so powerful that even the people in the nosebleed seats got covered with flying chunks of Teepo. Teepo still won, of course. Edgar brought in quite a few highly illegal explosives, not to mention that he blew up first. The real question of this match is after Garan and Edgar both making him pay for it, will Teepo finally learn to stop eating people and just fight fair? Yeah, we don't think so either. Edgar Roni Figaro: 28
Lin vs Yang
Gatewalker You ever hear that old line about not bringing a knife to a gunfight? Well, turns out it works for fists too. Of course, Yang knew this and decided to bring some guns of his own into the fight! One quick stop at Scrap later, and the Fabulan Monk had a pair of absolutely wicked AGUNI-MBX's, some shades and a cool trenchcoat(because what badass gunslinger doesn't want a cool trenchcoat?). Of course, it's too bad that Yang didn't know how to actually USE those guns. On the plus side, Lin was impressed enough with his effort, and at how well he did despite having no idea how to use his weapons, that she's giving him lessons. Lin: 38 
Arnaud G. Vasquez vs Mathias
superaielman In perhaps Mathias's gravest error of judgement ever, he decided to get a jump on his fight with Arnaud and damage the morale of his opponent by attacking his girlfriend before the match. Turns out Raquel doesn't like being interrpeted while in the shower. After a triple Intrude chain, Mathias was in no shape to fight Arnaud. What made it worse was Raquel dumping his dead body in a nearby pond. Nothing sucks quite like getting a taste of your own medicine. Arnaud G. Vasquez: 42 
Kazan vs Cormag
Gatewalker Soldiers, particularly elite soldiers, and old martial arts masters have one thing in common. Well, besides being people you'd really rather not piss off, of course. They're both very proud of being able to hold their drink. So it was only natural for Kazan and Cormag to decide to settle things with liquor instead of with combat. Much less wear and tear on weapons, blood, and pain involved this way as well, and this lets them get roaring drunk while they're supposed to be working, so this really works out for the better all around. Well, it worked out for Kazan at least. Cormag didn't quite realize what he was in for against the old man, and got so stinking drunk he couldn't remember anything after arriving at the match. Which is probably a good thing, as he probably wouldn't want to remember why he woke up in a puddle of his own drool in Zidane's bed wearing a little bo peep costume. Zidane, of course, swears up and down that he had no part of it, and that Cormag, costume and all, just stumbled into his room and collapsed on the bed. This didn't stop half the cast of Sacred Stones from beating him to a pulp anyway. But such is life in the RPGDL. Kazan: 36 
Destin Faroda vs Halley Brancket
SnowFire "Ah, Halley. Yes, quite the annoying pipsqueak. Still, he has a weakness. I have a fight coming up against a wild child, and will be more than happy to help you exploit that weakness. For a price." 'Roger Bacon' tipped his hat. "I am, of course, a 'good guy' as well. Go ahead and look it up; you needn't worry about any side-effects of loaning me the sacred Brunhilde sword." "Are you absolutely SURE this is a good idea?" Destin whispered once again to Royce. "What could go wrong?" "Fine." Destin handed the Brunhilde over to 'Roger Bacon.' "Ah, excellent! I happen to have the mother of your opponent in captivity. Simply inform Halley that if he does not surrender to you, her torture will be increased sevenfold. That should do the trick quite splendidly, I think! Ta-ta!" Bacon then fused with Amon, and flew off cackling to himself about crushing Gau with his shiny new sword. Of course, Albert's plan ignored a fundamental rule about annoying psychic kids: if you get them angry, they tend to get even more powerful and destroy Tokyo or something. Destin tried to deliver Albert's message as nicely as possible to Halley, but he found out that Halley hated him. A lot. The rebellion's reputation, meanwhile, somehow managed to sink even further. Destin Faroda: 21
Rudolf Steiner vs Miki
superaielman A backup singer. A battled hardened merc with no ties to the world. It's the stuff gritty romance films are made out of. It was no surprise when Miki quickly applied the charm to Rudo in an attempt to distract him from the fight. More surprising was Rudo coldly gunning her down in the middle of Miki making a pass at him. Turns out Rudo was more of a fan of the Terminator variety of movies. Another night alone for Miki, staring at the moon and sighing. Of course, she usually isn't in a full body cast when she does that. That honor is reserved for Dario when he goes cruising for dates, of course. Rudolf Steiner: 33 
Algus Sadalfas vs Llewelyn
SnowFire "Damn peasants! Slow those barriers down! ARGHHHHHH!" Algus cried in frustration as the moving smiling Odin dolls blocked more and more of his straight-line crossbow shots, while Llwelyn's arcing if somewhat slow arrows somehow slipped their way around them. "Hah! Too bad! Now try it with a THIRD row of targets, at even longer range!" Lezard increased the speed once more on the rails holding up the Teta homonculi at the carnival's shooting gallery. "You had best hurry and catch up, Algus! Llwelyn has 24 kills to 17 on you!" "Noo! This cannot be! I am the superior noble archer to this whiny trash!" The third row was entirely out of range for his crossbow, while Llwelyn had powered up a Layer Storm, crushing all the Tetas left. Algus grabbed a pink elephant in disgust while he still could, and started to run off. This ended up being an extraordinarily wise decision, as Delita's maniacal shouts of incoherent rage were just catching up. His repeated Holy Explosions flattened both Llwelyn and Lezard, but Algus barely made it out of range in time, animal prize safely in hand. Algus Sadalfas: 43 
Emma Hetfield vs Mio
SageAcrin Two beautiful, gorgeous women. Don't we know how these things always turn out in the Duelling League? Wait, it didn't turn out like that last time, did it. So there's always hope! --- "EEEEEEEK!" Emma's screams intensified, as she was chased around the arena by a perverted unicorn. (Seigfried, in typical fashion, had decided she was the more maidenly of the two. From someone that hits on a squirrel, perhaps this isn't so surprising.) Mio, meanwhile, being an intelligent, capable military leader, promptly pulled out her trusty stun gun and held it to Sten's head until the perverts left. Fortunately for Mio, Siegfried chased Emma out of the ring on the way out, giving her the win. (Emma eventually recovered enough of her senses to remember the giant unicorn chasing her was not, in fact, a boss. Seigfried was found dead in a ditch, with dozens of kick marks studding his body, several hours later.) So, Sten gets to say he got to cuddle with Mio, Emma got to kill a pervert, and all was...if not right, at least normal. --- *Six hours later.* "Is Sanae still in there?" Hugo asked, worriedly. "She's locked her self in ever since she heard about how Emma's match turned out. I don't get it." Sgt. Joe sighed. "You'd almost think she was depressed about not having perverts chase her, but she can't be that stupid." Sanae, meanwhile, unhappily munched chocolate and watched soap operas. Emma Hetfield: 20 
Axel vs Kahn
Gatewalker After the wild success of using his rather unorthodox methods against Big Joe, Axel decided to once again lay down his sword and bring on a serious beating, Streets of Rage style. That...didn't work out so well for him against Kahn. After a few minutes of trading blows, taunting eachother, and generally getting hot and sweaty enough to make most of the women in the crowd quite happy, Kahn let out this shout of power, sprouted spiky blonde hair, started glowing, and proceeded to Kamehameha Axel through the arena wall. Despite this odd occurance, he was still awarded the win, because as he pointed out to the judges, "Hey, pulling moves out of anime is just as legal as using moves from a game you aren't even in!" Axel: 21 |
