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Profound Darkness vs Jade Hrist Valkyrie vs Teepo Arnaud G. Vasquez vs Kazan Rudolf Steiner vs Mio
Week 5 - Semifinals




Profound Darkness (PS4) Profound Darkness vs Jade Jade (BoF1)

Smashy
'MEGID!'
'BOLTX!'

Repeat over and over again.

Until someone thought it would be cute in some Pokémon to try to Disable them. Said Pokémon promptly got brutally splattered. Megid's MTness and Jade's refusal to have his precious BoltX taken from him tend to have that result. So instead we get to watch the same move be repeated for about a half hour until Jade's frue mastery of BoltX defeats PD's mere usage of Megid.

Profound Darkness: 25
Jade: 44

T.G. Nevareh`
This would be a fair fight if The Profound Darkness were fighting Myria. Jade just doesn't have The Profound Darkness' super-awesome.

The fight would be: Jade hits The Profound Darkness with Bolt X!

The Profound Darkness hits Jade with Megid, Lightshower, or just Physical of Pain.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

And Jade, being a boss, can't out-durable The Profoud Darkness, a final boss.

miasmacloud
...Is the BoltX joke old yet?





Hrist Valkyrie (VP2) Hrist Valkyrie vs Teepo Teepo (BoF3)

Meeplelard
"So let me get this straight. After finally reaching the finals, and in effect, have wiped out your past mockery completely, you simply give up the last match just like that?" Arngrim stated

"Believe me, I did not do this without gaining something of greater value in return," Hrist responded "From my point of view, I am the clear victor here."

"Mind explainin' how any of that makes sense?"

"Well, as you already know, I'm fed up with Odin and his foolishness, yet I cannot deny that I am fond of my job, so..."

"So what?"

"I figured I just needed to find some OTHER high ranking God or Goddess (preferably one of benevolent nature) that needed some aid."

"I don't see how this fits into giving up the match..."

"Lets just say I struck a deal with a certain Goddess who often requests friends, of whom a certain Dragon I decided to not fight is working for, was willing to accept me as her own Chooser of the Slain..." Hrist responded

"...well, I can say one thing. I see what you mean about being the real winner of this fight..." Arngrim finished off, simply following Hrist to Caer Xahn, and her new employer.

Hrist Valkyrie: 31
Teepo: 36




Arnaud G. Vasquez (WA4) Arnaud G. Vasquez vs Kazan Kazan (LoL2)

Taishyr
Someone who's confident in everything from the neck up....

...versus a skilled monk and, in theory, an even more skilled swordsman.

The end result of this really should've been obvious, but this being the DL, of course it went wrong.

---

*...They're doing -what-.* Mewtwo thought angrily, watching the two run into each other over and over.

"They're... attempting to fuse, sir. Apparently the last thing Arnaud read was a treaty on nuclear fusion and sociology." Alice Elliot said politely.

*...Has anyone bothered to tell them that...* Mewtwo shook his head in disgust.

"Apparently, sir, Kazan was also watching anime and saw something about a fusion dance." Alice continued smoothly.

*I see. Nuke them from orbit, will you? I've got to go have a chat with Nate regarding the content of their broadcasts.* Mewtwo grumbled.

"With pleasure, sir." Alice beamed as she prepared a few castings of Gospel.

*...that young man really has corrupted you, hasn't he. Hmph. Yuri may have some redeeming value after all...* Mewtwo mused as he left.

Arnaud G. Vasquez: 41
Kazan: 17

miasmacloud
ARNAUD FOR HEAVY.





Rudolf Steiner (PS2) Rudolf Steiner vs Mio Mio (G1)

SageAcrin
Mio is intelligent.

As such, she can recognize the ridiculous when she sees it.

Her run-really, any run, but this one in particular-has been ridiculous.

This match was certainly no exception.

---

The newest Light Champion stared blankly down at her fallen foe, and slowly shook her head, a completely baffled look on her face.

"Why. Why? Why are they all morons?"

---

"Yeah, I know how you feel. I mean, I couldn't stop from shooting the damned things! All that target practice...it was just second nature to me." Rudolf Steiner, in his bed next to Kahn, sighed. "They really should ban tricks like that."

"Hey, look on the bright side!" Kahn shouted encouragingly, from his nearby bed, as he still recovered from his previous match from Mio. "Maybe she'll send you some balloons, like she did me! Haha!"

As has been said before...tough men have really weird hobbies.

Rudolf Steiner: 20
Mio: 36

Orlanduo vs chaos

~Fenrir


Zenthor
Orlanduo seduces every one of them with his groin.

Orlanduo: 42
chaos: 25

Browbeat
And yet, somehow... I can't shake the feeling that Big Joe will be involved in Orlanduo's ultimate loss... Even though he predates the timeline of Xenogears by centuries... Who knows, though? I mean, come on! It's Big Joe!... ... ... Loyal fans can break the laws of physics, time-space continuum, and plain old common sense, right?...

Crescent.
Orlanduo against the espers? If Final Fantasy XII espers are counted....well, Final Eclipse kills him, or Banish Ray, or Kill, or Meteor, or Soul Purge, or Big Bang.

Taishyr
Orlanduo? Whatever, he looks stupid.

Otter
Fenrir really needs to get some help.