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Sephiroth vs Violetta Galcian vs Rydia Magdalen Harts vs Lise Cleo vs Black Wizard
Empyrea vs Yunalesca Ursula vs Iga Anise Tatlin vs Dominia Starky vs Arietta
Lambda Zellweger vs Lucia Yuiri vs Kary Odin vs Philia Felice Josh Kain vs Roog
Royce vs Orlandu, Cidolfas Fuse vs Raquel Applegate Mio vs Thursday Nara vs Palom
Week 1 - Eliminations




Sephiroth (FF7) Sephiroth vs Violetta Violetta (G3)

DragoonJay
Dude, Violetta doesn't stand a chance! Before she can even Jump, she'll be in a House of Pain as her opponent crushes her. We'll be Dancing in the Streets with his Eruption causing Violetta to be On Fire. She'll wish she went to Panama instead of showing up, as David...

Wait.

It's *Sephi* Roth? Darn it.

Um... Masamune to the face, I guess. I'm so disappointed.

Sephiroth: 34
Violetta: 28

Barubary
At long last, My Lord Sephiroth has returned to bring forth the apocalyptic metorish doom that only he can

and his first oppenent.... some sort of ditch digger you know I'm actually not sure, should be easy for my Lord Sephiroth to win after all




Empyrea (DQ8) Empyrea vs Yunalesca Yunalesca (FFX)

SageAcrin
Two beautifu-oh, god, even an impartial, serious narrator can't say that with a straight face.

At any rate, two...females.

The denizens of the Role-Playing Game Duelling League, however, have been reknowned for lack of pickiness at points.

Could this match attract a seedy element? One looking into creating horrific events that should only be kept under lock and key, or in their proper places, in the dark and seedy corners of the Internet?

---

"...wait, why...did you..." Brey sputtered.

-You would have done the same thing, if you could have. Mewtwo said with a diffident shrug.

"But...that's just..." Brey said, as he watched the horrific spectacle in the arena.

-You know as well as I do that you wouldn't stand for a Jenova's Witness coming to your door. I don't know how they brainwashed Zidane into the job-perhaps they used the mental equivalent of dampened sandpaper, it couldn't possibly take much washing-but I certainly was not going to put up with it.-

Brey simply winced, as Zidane went flying past his head, to thud wetly into an arena wall a few feet away from his back-row seat.

"...mmmm...feathers...tenta...cl..." Zidane mumbled, as he lapsed into unconciousness.

Unfortunately, the delay had cost Yunalesca. Whereas Empyrea was willing to ignore the...strange man...annoying her, Yunalesca, in typical fashion, had took great pleasure in shrugging off the Godbird's offense as she had torn and shredded Zidane. Then had gotten angrier and redoubled her efforts, after Zidane started moaning in pleasure. The net result put Yunalesca too far behind, in this war of attrition.

Then again, it had been worth it, to her.

As to what Zidane exactly had planned, no one knows. Mewtwo won't state what exactly the effects of his mind-shattering abuse were on Zidane, and Zidane came to with no knowledge of the last fifteen days.

Of course, between Jenova fanboyism and attempting to...do something strange to a giant female bird and a woman with tentacles, Zidane's gotten a new, and rather frightening, reputation.

Dagger's reaction initially was to laugh it off. Naturally. Zidane wasn't that kind of man!

But...she is a Summoner, after all...

Empyrea: 45
Yunalesca: 30

Dunefar
When I think of this match I get one idea. Yunalesca's strong and quick with plenty of tricks...but can she survive when Empyrea takes her up and drops her off Zanarkand? Seriously, that's like what someone was BEGGING to do when you fought her in FFX. Empyrea just needs to let gravity do it's thing, you know?




Lambda Zellweger (WA4) Lambda Zellweger vs Lucia Lucia (Suikos)

SageAcrin
Lambda is a man with vision, and evasion is his game.

With his abilities, he can dodge anything. More or less.

This clear seeing individual, this charming, handsome man who can see the future...is there any other way he could have dealt with a pretty girl?

---

Lambda, grinning, walked out of the arena, Lucia on his arm.

It always worked. He knew all the right things to say, all the right things to do, and he never had to fight when he didn't really want to.

Of course, he was so distracted, he never noticed Farmel, standing in a Darkness Stance, in the hallway in front of him.

Lambda may have won the battle, but there's an important thing he forgot.

He only can see the future about 6/7ths of the time. And only when he's actually trying.

He remembered this right as he bumped into Farmel, triggering Farmel's Finest Arts.

Farmel just sighed. She thought he had gotten out of this stupid juvenile phase of his. Maybe a reminder would help.

Shrugging, she started making faces at Lucia, still in Darkness Stance.

(It's really hard for a counter fighter to get into a cat fight when they want to.)

Lambda Zellweger: 50
Lucia: 24


Royce (Lunar1) Royce vs Orlandu, Cidolfas Orlandu, Cidolfas (FFT)

superaielman
Of all the people Count Cidolfas Orlandu expected to see coming down to the ring causing trouble, Edge was.. oh, say second on the list behind a rampaging mob of Piastol fangirls. That last stunt had taken a lot of fighting and explaining to undo. Damn Edge.

What was however surprising was that Edge was making a straight beeline for Orlandu and looked.. unarmed? Not in attack mode? How shocking. He did however looked pissed. "Old man! Put away that sword and let me speak before you blast me. I don't have time to recover and kick your geezer butt all over the place." Edge quickly related the story of what Piastol and Galcian pulled on Rydia. "I wouldn't normally ask for help if it got me the keys to every single ladies's locker room in the DL, but this is personal. Rydia went from having a fair fight to getting slaughtered, all cause Piastol isn't woman enough to confront me directly. So what do you say? Truce while we smash her flat?"

"One question, boy. Why should I go along with this little scheme of yours after the trouble you've caused me?"

"Rydia's a good person and deserves better than that. I'll drag Fuse into this to get to the bottom of this. More importantly, don't you have a score to settle with Piastol for that loss? And you're going to have one to settle with Royce, as you aren't looking too good against her. Besides, you're supposed to be a good guy. Isn't that what you do, besides for kick the crap out of Zidane?"

"Galcian is a filthy villian who deserves it.. mm. Tell you what. You make Royce suffer before the fight's over with, and we have a deal. You'd better hurry, as I don't know how long I can dodge Flame Bird." Orlandu squared up and went to go face Royce. It may not be a fight he could win, but he'd at least do some damage. Edge was also right- Rydia did deserve better than that.


---


The sound of what sounded like a giant engine firing up caught Cid's attention. Royce and the crowd looked around in confusion to see what was happening, which gave Orlandu just enough time to dodge another Flame Bird. It had to be Edge. If there was one thing Cid had learned in his stay in the DL, it was that the Ninja Prince could find trouble (and a way out of it) out of thin air.

---

"EDGEEEEEE!" The sound of the engine had gotten much closer. For a split second, the sound was drowned out by the screaming of what sounded like a very angry young lady. Most of the crowd just rolled their eyes, figuring that Edge was up to his usual tricks. Maybe he'd live up to his wo-


Orlandu had gotten a little too distracted by the sound. Bars of thick flame closed around his body, both burning and trapping him. He was caught.

---

Royce walked in to nail a finishing blow on Orlandu. She had no reason to rush once Cid had been caught by her Flame Bird attack. Readying a Shot Lance attack to grind him into dust. As her hands were slowly lowering to drive him the strike, the world shook and exploded. The second before, Orlandu was in midair slowly being burned to death. The next second he was on the arena floor, and Royce had been knocked several feet into the nearest wall. A very battered looking craft had just landed a few feet away from Orlandu. Out popped a grinning Edge, a tired looking Fuse, and a very battered Yuiri.


"See, gramps? I came through. I blasted Royce with one of Lexis's patented love missiles. She'll fall in love with the first thing she sees once she wakes up. Once Fuse has been paid off this way, he'll be happy to assist us. Yuiri I brought along.. well, you can never have too many lesbians, or so my father used to say." Edge helped Orlandu to his feet. "That hunk of junk's sort of beaten up, but it'll got a radar that'll let us track Ramirez. Once we beat the emo out of him, we'll focus on Piastol. Fuse is along to handle the legal aspect. I want justice for what happened to Rydia." Edge had helped Orlandu put himself to rights and had gathered himself as well. "Let's get out of where now, in fact. Where's Yuiri?"


"..Edge, you said that the first think Royce laid eyes on is what she'd fall in love with, right?" Fuse's voice sounded oddly strangled, as if he couldn't believe what was happening.

"Yeah, why?" Edge paid no more attention it than he did the crowd sitting in stunned silence.

"Because Yuiri limped over to help Royce up, and they're currently holding hands and making out." Fuse's face was a mask of pure frustration once again. It had not been a good day for the head of the DL police.

"Awesome. Let me use that TimeRecord spell scroll TL gave me.." Edge fumbled in his pockets for the scroll, and quickly unrolled it. Activating it was the easist thing in the world.

"..Awesome? You twit, how am I supposed to get back in Royce's good graces if you turned her into a lesbian? Why should I help you?" Frustration was now replaced by anger. If Edge didn't figure out a way to calm Fuse down, he'd likely have to fend off another attack he didn't have time for.

Edge turned away from the torrid action in front of him to give Fuse a cold glare. "Beyond her many crimes which you're so supposed to be paid to arrest her for, Piastol committed one of the worst sins of all. She made a scene of her stripping Rydia seem.. unsexy. Cruel. Forced. She took the joy out of seeing a pretty girl in her underware. If that foul, unholy act isn't enough to bring all the powers that be in the DL universe against her, I don't know what is. I also don't want to be part of a place that condones such a thing. With the gods as my witness, I will fix this and make completely gratuitous half naked girls a good thing again!"

The look of stone cold rage on Fuse's face matched the burning hate on Edge's face. "Let's bring these bastards down."

Royce: 42
Orlandu, Cidolfas: 33

T.G. Nevareh
Thunder God Cid eats baddies like Royce for breakfast, or perhaps a light brunch. Unless she can garuntee a one-hit knockout, which has never seemed to be the case with Orlandu, Orlandu can just immediately heal any damage she does to him with his absurdly powerful Night Sword. Unlike Orlandu, Royce doesn't regain health every time she hits him, so she falls prey to the Infinite Parasitic Healing that makes the Thunder God Cid the guy that inspires awe and terror for all equally.





Galcian (SoA) Galcian vs Rydia Rydia (FF4)

superaielman
"Honey, I'm so proud of you for finding that Minvera for me. With that blocking Galcian's Enterum spell, he's got no chance against me." A tight hug from Rydia put an exclamation point on her speech.

"It was nothing, really. That secret monster arena training grounds was only guarded by Ruby WEAPON this time. What a bunch of slackers. Like that'd stop me! Ow, Rydia. Not so tight. I'm a little sore. Oh well, a trip to the... ooh, you're looking at manly bruis... oh. Well then!"


---

As soon as Edge stepped foot in the arena, he sensed something was wrong. Far from looking worried, Galcian had a rather.. pleased grin on his face. That wasn't the expression you'd expect to see on someone who was about to get his ass kicked. Worse, his lapdog Ramirez was at his heels. That severely cut down on what Edge could do. He didn't want to go picking another fight with a Skies of Arcadia Godlike. Piastol was bad enough, I mean look at her sitting over there in the ref's chair-


"Rydia, we may be in for trouble." Edge rested his hands on his weapons and casually walked over to see what Piastol was doing here.

"Hey, what are you doi-URK!"

Piastol easily lifted Edge off the ground with one hand. Her other hand tore his Katanas away from his body, leaving him defenseless. "You see, I pulled some strings here. I'm tired of your dirty, cheating ways. What you did during your last match was the final straw, brat. Being a double Godlike champion has some advantages. If I want to ref a random Heavy fight, who's going to say boo about it?" Piastol dropped Edge to the floor. "See, I hate Galcian, but compared to you he's at least tolerable. Ramirez, keep an eye on our worthless Ninja friend. I have some rulings to make." Edge was grabbed and dragged away by Ramirez before he could regain his bearings.

"Rulings. First off, that dress you're wearing. The Minvera, right? That's an illegal equip. Take it off, girl! Put this on instead."

In spite of the rough treatment, Edge was amazed. Piastol had somehow made the image of her talking Rydia into stripping to be.. lame. She deserved death for that alone.


"That isn't fair. How dare you tell me to undress in front of all these people, and give up this perfectly legal armor?!" Rydia's appeal had no effect. Piastol's only response to the complaint was to laugh. "Take it off or I'll disqualify you on the spot." Sighing, Rydia quickly shed the dress and put on the robe Piastol gave her. A standard issue Black Robe, which provided decent protection but did nothing against Instant Death.

"That's more like it. My second ruling.. that ring looks like an illegal accessory to me. Take it off as well!" Rydia blinked in utter shock. How could she make ban an equip she had used countless times over the years. Even more shocking was Piastol walking over to Rydia and yanking it off her fingers. That ring blocked both Thunder and Silence. Without that, she was defenseless against both Galcian's magic and his physical attacks.

"A fair fight. Now, start fighting!"

Rydia lasted less than 30 seconds against Galcian.

Ramirez let Edge go with a shove after the fight was over and Galcian and Piastol had safely left the arena. Edge quickly ran over to Rydia to see what he could do. Wincing, he got a good look at her wounds. Galcian had at least been quick about it- one Terminal had knocked her out before she could so much as cast a spell. Edge gently picked her up and carried her towards safety. He made quick progress over towards a familiar part of the arena, if not one he visited every day. Yuri's lockerroom/living area was huge, as were all the areas for the Godlike champions. It was also extremely well secured, with Jochaim and Lenny acting as bodyguards. While it would have been fun to sneak into the base and raid Alice's panty drawer, Edge didn't have time for that. He dropped Rydia off with Alice near the front of the area and found Yuri in a hurry.

"Favor. I need you stay close to base for a few weeks and guard Rydia." A quick explaination caught Yuri up to speed. Nodding, he walked up and put his hand on Edge's shoulder. "Want a hand in teaching those rejects a lesson? I can handle Ramirez and Galcian easily enough, and we'll find a way to deal with Piastol." To his surprise, Edge nodded no and walked away.

"Need you to guard Rydia. Don't worry about the rest. But.. Piastol, Ramirez, Galcian? They're all gonna suffer for this one."

Edge stalked off. The first thing he had to do was find Orlandu. There was going to be one hell of a body count for this, and Edge didn't intend to be a casualty.

Galcian: 39
Rydia: 27


Ursula (BoF4) Ursula vs Iga Iga (AtLC)

Pyromania
The path of the monk. Through intense discipline one can achieve a state of physical and mental readiness that dwarfs the common man's abilities. Iga has mastered this path, and gained power that would make most mortals tremble. The ability to shake off blows that would fell hearty men, the skill to utilize magic to heal himself or hurt his foes, the power to strike harder with his fists than many can with razor-sharp weapons...

None of this saves him from Ursula's simple Death spell, highlighting the difference between a monk and someone trained to kill. Welcome to the DL Iga, where the soldiers of the evil empire are actually competent.

Ursula: 34
Iga: 15

SageAcrin
A still, stunned silence.

A loud "Urk!".

A splash.

And then it was over.

---

"...Why did you tell me she couldn't beat people who were on ships!?" Iga said, enraged.

"Why did you listen to me when I said something so ridiculous?" Gogen shot back, cackling at Iga's annoyance.




Yuiri (S3) Yuiri vs Kary Kary (FF1)

superaielman
It was a short, brutal fight. Yuiri is a respectable fighter in her own right, but Kary is a whole different class of fighter. Brutally strong, resistant against Yuiri's status, and as tough as nails. The Alma Kinnan native had no chance. Kary ended the fight in a few savage attacks, leaving the crowd stunned.

The crowd was even more stunned when a spaceship landed on the victorious Kary, flattening her instantly. Much less surprising (and groan inducing) was Edge popping out of the spaceship, looking rather annoyed.

"I'm going to choke out Kain. No, not that Kain. The other one. He did a half assed job of fixing this ship. The gas milage is horrible- hey, is that Yuiri there? As my dear old dad said, you can never have too many lesbians. Or was that Katanas? Bah, same difference."

Edge quickly scooped up the still unconscious Yuiri into his arms and sped off (Well, as quickly as a beaten up spaceship piloted by a semi oblivious Ninja could be). Yumi and the rest of the Suikoden 3 crew was not amused by having their castmate kidnapped.

Yumi screaming 'EDGEEEEEE!' could be heard throughout the entire arena, loud enough and with enough force to shatter glass.

Edge didn't notice this, of course. He had bigger, better things on his mind. Oh yes.

Yuiri: 19
Kary: 53


Fuse (Saga) Fuse vs Raquel Applegate Raquel Applegate (WA4)

superaielman
Fuse's frustrated grimance spoke volumes. In spite of literally running circles around Raquel, his best attacks barely dented her- when they actually hit. Worse, a single physical from Raquel was enough to force him to heal. Her physical attacks were extremely powerful, and she had healing of her own with Dragon Edge. Remembering the report on Raquel, a few other things stood out that she hadn't used.

"Intrude." The worse sounded like a bitter curse in Fuse's mouth. He had serious doubts if he could survive two attacks from Raquel, let alone a chain of them. And judging by the way she was moving and attacking, she was extremely close to letting loose a chain of Intrude-physicals combos, spelling the end for the police officer.


Fuse and Raquel stopped attacking when a rather battered spaceship landed right outside the ring. Fuse just rolled his eyes when Edge popped out of the spaceship. This couldn't be good news. The ninja quickly ran over to fuse, only to whisper into his ear.

"Fuse, good to see you. I have to talk to you about an official matter relating to DL policework."

"..Royce?"

"Among other things."

"I'm so in. Better than getting my ass handed to me by Raquel." Fuse's quick explaination forfeit caused some sighing among the crowd, who had wanted to see some serious bloodletting. One handshake with Raquel and a wave to his few fans, and Fuse was in the spaceship, flying off for sure to be half baked adventure with Edge.

Fuse: 7
Raquel Applegate: 55




Magdalen Harts (WA:ACF) Magdalen Harts vs Lise Lise (SD3)

Sei
Lise's mouth hung open as Magdalen reeled from the attack. "I... I..."

"I'm sorry Lise, but you know the rules." Georg sighed.

"We may be lenient about most questionable things," Lucca added while she wiped her glasses. "but interference THAT obvious? That really steps over the line."

The amazon princess just stared desperately at the judges. "But... but..."

"Honestly Lise, asking a Godlike to help you like that?" Tiamat said while clicking one of her tongues and shaking one of her heads. "How could you think that it would get you anything but disqualified?"

"But... but..." Lise repeated, still in shock, while the DL staff escorted her off the ring.

---

Meanwhile, in Asgard

"Freya, are you sure that mortal was calling for you?" Hrist asked the Goddess of Fertility.

Freya shrugged. "I don't see why she wasn't. How many divine beings named Freya could there be, anyway?"

Magdalen Harts: 27
Lise: 22

SageAcrin
There are many cliche battles, in the world of fantasy.

Fists against swords, swords against guns, swords against magic, umbrellas against Chain Chomps...

But swords against spears?

There has only been once source of information about that...

---

"I don't understand it!" Lise nearly wailed.

She had researched for nearly a month, before her first battle, training with the finest of spear warriors, from the only worlds where the lance truly had an advantage over the sword.

Marcus, Wallace, Duessel, Yuuno, Devdan...they'd taught her for so long!

She'd easily defeated hundreds of Soldiers with their skills!

How had she been defeated so easily?

Where had she gone wrong?

*One month ago.*

"Hawk...she's a naive princess who lives in her amazon kingdom in the middle of a forest in the middle of a mountain range. She probably believed you, when you said those failures were the best spear-wielders in the league..." Angela said, disgusted.

"Ah, c'mon. She can't be that naive." Hawk said, shrugging. "Right?"




Anise Tatlin (TotA) Anise Tatlin vs Dominia Dominia (XG)

Dunefar
Jade sighed deeply. To the surprise of many, a replica had nothing to do with this sigh at all. Instead, he looked down at the sheet of paper in his hand. The poster had an image of Dominia chained up, with a grinning Anise next to her. Below that in the caption reads:

"Come one, come all! Bring your wallets when you come to see a wonder of the world! Anise Productions brings forth DOMINIA, the beautiful Element of Earth! You think Lich is impressive? Do you think Milon is scary! Be prepared to see the beauty of the Earth now! Just 999 gald per minute!"

Idly pocketing the poster, Jade sighed again. It's not that Anise's determination wasn't admirable, nor was it that she was making money. But really, Emperor Peony looks down on abject slavery of captives like that. It would be soooo unbecoming of him to let it stay that way. While enjoyable, openly ignoring the laws of Malkuth is a bad idea if your last name isn't Fon Fabre.

"Oh well, at least Anise won the battle," Jade mused aloud. "Perhaps that will keep her calm when she has to return the money..." With a chuckle, Jade mentally reviewed the incantations for his spells. Yeah, right.

Anise Tatlin: 39
Dominia: 11


Odin (PS1) Odin vs Philia Felice Philia Felice (ToD)

Nitori
It was a complete slaughter, really. Philia and Clemente
simply weren't enough to overcome the Legendary Warrior Odin
and his mighty Laconian Axe. The crowd's chanting of "ODIN! ODIN!"
seemed almost dreamlike, in a sense...

"...Why is he grabbing at the air? Well, I guess he wasn't that injured
to begin with, crumpling over after being tapped with Clemente once."

"Well, it is Odin. With him, titles are deceiving."

With that, Mint and Elena left Odin to his rest in the hospital ward, a distinct smile
on his face. On the floor, Kogoro chewed on the handle of the Laconian
Axe.

Odin: 10
Philia Felice: 39


Mio (G1) Mio vs Thursday Thursday (Disgaea)

Dunefar
Let's see here.

LEGENDARY SUPER ROBOT WITH HUGE STATS. That's Thursday.

A military officer who's bumbling and mainly just fanservice. That's Mio.

So I ask of you - what can the military do about a LEGENDARY SUPER ROBOT? Bye, Mio.

Mio: 19
Thursday: 41




Cleo (S1) Cleo vs Black Wizard Black Wizard (FF1)

Gatewalker
As the rather generic Black Wizard made his way to the arena where he was supposed to be fighting, he was surprised(insomuch as a generic character such as himself can feel surprise) to find Cleo leaning up against the wall in the hallway, apparently waiting for him.

As he approached, she just nodded and shrugged at him, "Yeah, I figured nobody would have remembered to tell you. Looks like we got booked to fight at the same time as someone else, so we're being shunted over into a spare arena. Closest one they've got available is the old Breath of Fire 3 arena. Come on, let's get over there and get this over with."

Sensing nothing amiss(as if a generic character could actually sense such things), the Black Wizard mutely followed along behind Cleo and the pair wound their way over to the town of Genmel, and into the arena, where a pair of rather bemused judges were waiting for them.

Turning to her opponent, Cleo jerked her thumb over to a trio of doors, "Alright, there's three different places we can fight here, so let's flip a coin to see which one. I'll flip, you call it in the air, alright?"

Nodding, the Black Wizard predictably called 'Heads' as Cleo flipped up the coin, caught it, slapped it over onto the back of her other hand and then grinned at him, "Looks like tails. We'll settle this in the Null Magic Hall then. Sorry, but I'm not the type to pass up an advantage where I can get it."

Shrugging, as he did lose the coin toss fair and square, the Black Wizard fought Cleo in the Null Magic Hall, and predictably got thoroughly crushed by the sword throwing attendant.

As the Wizard left after getting healed, Cleo just shook her head in amazement and handed Richmond back his coin, "You were right. Those 8 bit characters will buy anything."

Cleo: 50
Black Wizard: 23


Starky (CC) Starky vs Arietta Arietta (TotA)

superaielman
The little alien from the Chrono Cross world was depressed. Arietta seemed like such a nice person, and he was going to have to fight her to move on. "Starky doesn't want to fight a sweet little girl. Any way Starky avoid this?"

"Sure." A masked figure leaped down to meet Starky eye to eye. It appeared to be a ninja of all things. "Just throw this at her. It'll knock her out. It won't hurt. I promise."

Starky, a trusting soul, agreed to it. "Okay!" Starky tossed the Fuma at Arietta, scoring an instant knockout on the frail God General. "That was easy! Thanks!"

"No problem. I was just.. in the area. Yeah. Randomly. Speaking of, which, I'll be seeing you."

Starky wandered off happily, glad for a win and a painless solution to his problem. When he got out of the arena, he noticed something was missing.

"Where's the key to the spaceship?"

...

"For that matter, where's the spaceship?! Starky's sad now."

Starky: 36
Arietta: 24

Ralff
Starky has a RAYGUN; game, set, and match.




Josh Kain (PS2) Josh Kain vs Roog Roog (S5)

superaielman
"Damn it, this hunk of junk is barely working!? What kind of third rate spac... right, Chrono Cross. Should have known the universe that bred Dario wouldn't even do spaceships right." Edge barely managed to land the ship outside of an empty arena, where a bored judge was napping while two horrendous lights stood staring down each other. Edge peeked in the arena in the hopes that someone, anyone, would be able to help him.

One glance at a snoring Crono discounted the notion of a helpful judge. Roog.. Edge smirked. Roog was so useless that he made Zidane look like a talented fighter and smart person. That was out. Of interest to Edge was the third man in the arena. He stood dressed in futuristic clothes and had a set of fancy looking tools near his corner of the arena.

"Josh Kain. Mechanic, advanced techology field. Horrible fighter but perfect for what I need. Great luck for me. For once!" Edge quickly hopped into the arena and slit Roog's throat with a casual swipe of his katana. Pathetically easy. The mechanic just shrugged at that, and noticed how Crono didn't even stir.

"Well.. thanks for the free win, I guess? Crono won't care enough to check out Roog got killed. No one will, come to think of it..."

"No problem. I just need a quick favor. I'm guessing from the Phantasy star label and your reputation as a wrecker, that you know your way around a spaceship. I 'borrowed' a ship from a 'friend' and it's a bit of a clunker. Any way you could fix it for me? It's for a good cause."

"What, getting you laid?" In spite of the snarky comments, Josh had already woken up Crono and gotten him to award him the match in between naps.

"Yes. It also involves beating the hell out of one of Ghaleon's minions. Everyone should be willing to help with that."

"Sure, why not. This sounds like fun, and I owe you for making my fight with Roog a little quicker. One question, though: How does a Ninja know how to fully operate a freakin spaceship?"

"Ninja training. I took the Big Whale for a joy ride once or twice. Man, was Cecil mad..ahem. Anyway. Let's get this bad boy in working order. I don't have much time."

Josh Kain: 27
Roog: 16


Nara (DW4) Nara vs Palom Palom (FF4)

Gatewalker
Nara was ready. She had to bring all her skill, all her wit and all her power to bear against a mage who, while still a young boy, was still said to be on the fast track to Middle. For the sake of her own championship dreams, she had to stop Palom's rampage before it even got started.

Stepping into the arena, she stared down the child facing her and prepared to beat that little boy to a bloody pulp.

She was not, however, expecting said little boy to blink at her and ask her questions in a surprisingly feminine voice, "Nara? What are you doing here? Don't you have a match right now?"

Rather confused, Nara nodded, "Yeeees. I'm here to fight you. Duh."

Palom(?) shook his(?) head, "Um, I'm Porom. You're in the wrong arena. But I think you can still make it to your fight in time if you hurry. Make sure to give Palom a kick in the pants for me."

Looking the twin over, and realizing that she was in fact in the red suit with the green cape that Porom wore, Nara quickly thanked the girl and dashed off to make her match in time.

As Nara left the ring, "Porom" just doubled over in laughter, "Oh man, those 8 bit characters will fall for anything! Now I've just gotta get my sisters clothes back before she realizes I borrowed 'em."

Nara: 14
Palom: 41

The Other Side of the Morality Fence
~Sei


Otter
The hero-villain swap day was going along fine until Fou-Lu finally reached and confronted his antagonist Ryu and soundly defeated him, immediately assuming the ultimate form of the Infini Dragon and obliterating most of the mismatched heroes and villains altogether. With no Bad End screen to get in the way, this form was now canonical and coincidentally almost unstoppable.

On the one hand, it was a good opportunity for Lord Blazer, Giygas, and Rhapthorne to set aside their differences and make bold strides in their fledgling careers as protagonists by narrowly defeating the rampaging Infini. On the other hand, their victory might have been more satisfying had Seraphic Radiance not chosen that exact moment to devour Yuri from the inside out and blow up what was left of the world's landmasses.

"The only real winners here were those who weren't enough of a hero or a villain to take part in the first place," remarked Zed, scarf billowing in the high winds, in a rare moment of lucidity. "Aye, or jus' the ones weren't stuck on a bleedin' landmass, t' begin with, aye," responded the Captain of the Thames with a sagely nod. The two looked out at the sea from the deck of the Thames. Sure, it might eventually backfire to give Liz and Ard seats at the ship's bar, and it was really only a matter of time before Kahn slipped and fell out of the crow's nest, but it wasn't so bad out here with the others. These guys could get used to anything.


Heroes: 13
Villians: 24
Abject failure: 38

Twilkitri
Fetch quests? Villains already do 'em anyway, just because they're usually offscreen doesn't mean they didn't happen. They also blow up their own home towns if they get the chance, rendering the trauma from such happenings nonexistant... and considering the experience they have creating dungeons and the likes, they know all the tricks to them.

Meanwhile heroes in general couldn't plot their way out of a paper bag, and dungeon navigational skills mean nothing when it comes to actually building one. They are, however, generally more skilled than the villains in the 'getting killed' department >_>

f_f_crazy@hotmail.com
Excellent bonus question, best one in months.