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Zophar vs Diekbeck
Taishyr "Zophar, we would like to test a confidential new magic in your next match. Please contact us. Sincerely, Millenia, Jessica, Celine and Chris Lightfellow." Zophar frowned. Chris, asking Zophar for a favor? Two grand nemesis, working together? This was unprecedented. Still, there was never a bad time to bury the hatchet. Shrugging, he composed an adequately evil response and sent it off. Zophar and Diekbeck each advanced into the arena slowly. Ness nodded to both contestants solemnly, and then hit the gong with his yo-yo. And it rained lipstick, nail polish and hair ties. As Diekbeck looked around in bewilderment, Zophar shrugged and cast a simple spell on the robot. Who proceeded to blow up in a spectacular explosion, detonating half the arena in a spectacular display of fireworks. Zophar frowned, but then simply turned and left, leaving the mess to the rest of the people there. "Okay. So what did that spell do?" Zophar said, glaring down at the four grinning women. "I want answers." "Oh, it's a simple but potent spell. Chris' Silent Lake, modified with the help of us three here. It creates, in effect, a Field of Femininity." Jessica smiled widely. "And...? That fails to explain the massive explosion." Zophar thundered. "Well, of course, underneath the Field of Femininity, any side without Diek wins against any side with Diek. Silent Lake." Chris added almost as an afterthought. "Let's get to work, ladies." And as the four advanced, weapons prepared, all Zophar did was stare, furiously. Why not? It was all he could do... Zophar: 31 
Zio vs Sierra Mikain
Taishyr Sierra rose slowly as her opponent elegantly entered the arena. "A pleasure to meet you, Zio." A smooth voice, with nary a tremor of anticipation or fear. Zio said nothing, simply staring at Sierra. After a second, she frowned. "How rude. Staring at a woman is hardly polite, good sir. If you continue this, I-" "You are a vampire! You are!" Sierra blanched. "Oh. Oh, no. Please, no." "MISTRESS OF DARKNESS! PLEASE, DRAW MY BLOOD!" "GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU GOTHIC EMO FREAK!" "So." Maya said, idly munching on popcorn. "Who knew Zio was a closet goth?" Chaz and Garan shook their heads. Mewtwo idly raised a paw, and Maya gave him a look of pity. "Well, at least this is amusing." Garan gave a soft snort. "Well, it's better than discussing magical theory with those blowhards in Light, at least. Suikoscrubs. Can they get any more dense?" *"Yes."* the other three chimed in at once. Garan snorted again, and proceeded to settle in for the long haul, which quickly ended as Sierra ran out of the arena, Zio hot on her heels. "Well, good. Zio wins, let's go home." The end result of the chase was Sierra calling upon Freya and Quina and the three proceeding to beat Zio's brains out, in case you wondered. Zio: 45 
Scias vs Emily
Taishyr Emily lunged at Scias, fists flying. The dog samurai stepped aside deftly, sending a blast of ice magic at Emily, who rolled out of the way. Panting, the two faced each other. Scias shook his head. "You h-h-h-h-have been a g-g-g-g-good opponent. But this ends here." His blade started glowing softly as he unsheathed it, and the fearsome dog grinned, showing his canines. "Demon Blade... RAKSHASA! SHINING BLADE!" Quicker than a bullet, the sword sliced across Emily's sides twice... and then stopped abruptly. Scias recoiled in fear. "...H-h-h-h-h-how?!" "Heh." Emily said, still holding the blade in one bleeding hand. "A little trick I picked up from my sparring friend, Agrias." "B-b-b-b-b-b-b-BLADE GRASP?!" The final punch on the snout sent Scias sprawling. Emily looked at him for a second, before yowling in pain. "How do you do that more than once, Agrias? That hurt like hell!" Agrias stared at Emily for a second, before raising a gauntleted hand in answer silently. Emily sighed. "Right, those would help more than your strength. Forget I asked." Scias: 15 
Endora vs Rolf Landale
Excal With all that raw power at her disposal, it seemed unlikely that Rolf could ever have any chance of defeating the Empress Endora. And yet... as though filled with some contractual need to fail against a plucky young hero with a track record for wrecking Empires, she made two crucial mistakes. First, she decided that no evil empress worthy of the title would ever fight fair if there was a way around it. And while the idea of bribing the notoriously corrupt DL administrators and simply rigging the actual match was tempting, Rolf also had less scrupulous friends with access to orbital weaponry. Which, all in all, made rigging the fight look like a losing trade. So being an empress, she simply decided to send waves of underlings off to ensure that Rolf would never actually make it to the match. And here is where she made the critical mistake, violating the Evil Overlord's Guide. #80 If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress. In this case, replace fortress with arena. Having sent her waves of minions in level appropriate formation of weakest to strongest, it only gave Rolf that much opportunity to become even more powerful. And so, in the unexpectedly fair fight, Endora didn't face the merely endgame Rolf she could easily defeat, but an over leveled Rolf against which she had no chance. Endora: 13
Ted vs Vyse
Gatewalker Ted was no stranger to working with pirates, particularly ones of the Noble Rogue variety, so the runebearer had no real issues with Vyse going into this fight. However, unlike most of his fellow heroic types, Ted did not enjoy the prospect of having a nice friendly duel with another good guy in the least. After all, in order to win, he would have to turn the life shattering power of the Soul Eater Rune onto Vyse, which was something that the Blue Rogue really didn't deserve at all. Now, Ted being Ted, he was more inclined to angst about having to use the Soul Eater on a hero then to actually get up and be proactive and figure out a way to avoid it. Thankfully for him, Vyse was very much the type to socialize with his opponents before the match, and once he heard about Ted's reservations, he was all about finding another way to settle this match. This may have been fuelled as much by a desire to not be force fed a Judgment spell as a desire to help Ted out, but no matter his reasons, Vyse was more then happy to help. The first few ideas they came up with were quickly discarded. A straight up, no special abilities at all fight? No, too stacked in Vyse's favor. A sharp shooting contest, perhaps? No, too stacked in Ted's. What about a monster killing race then? No, also stacked for Ted, with his area spells. After a bit of brainstorming, Ted just shrugged, "We need to come up with something where it's not just a given who's going to win. But...I can't think of anything we're both good at. We just have such different specialties." Considering, Vyse began to get the basis of an idea, "Maybe, just maybe, we're going about this wrong. What about, oh, a skateboarding contest?" Ted blinked, "Huh? But, I don't know how to skateboard." And now Vyse grinned, "Neither do I! It's perfect! Instead of looking for something we're both good at, we pick something we're both BAD at, and the win goes to the person who sucks less! How about it, huh?" Slowly, Ted began to crack a smile and then start chuckling, "That's just inane enough to work. What the hey, sounds like it could be amusing at least. Sure, you're on." And so, the gathered fans who were expecting a standard Soul Eater style Judgment splatter, were instead treated to a pair of completely amateur skaters trying to pull off tricks, falling off their boards a lot, and generally laughing the whole time. Some were pissed at the lack of Judgment SMASH, but most actually found this more entertaining then the one sided match they were expecting. As for the winner, well, while Vyse has enough charisma to look cool even while he's wiping out over and over and Ted mainly looked like a bumbling kid on a skateboard, Ted actually managed to pull off a full 360 spin and land it without falling. Vyse, on the other hand, had no such luck, and managed to fall flat on his face and break his nose when attempting to duplicate Ted's success. Ah well, at least Vyse managed to look stylish and have fun, even if he lost, and that's what's important, right? Or at least that's what he tried to explain to Aika when she wanted a few words with him about losing in the first round, anyway. Ted: 32 
Guy vs Flik
Taishyr The end result of this match, in retrospect, was obvious. Guy smashed Flik around, using his obviously superior swordskills to batter Flik down. Then, as the final slice was about to be made, Guy's sword raised... ...and promptly got him electrocuted by a humongous bolt of lightning. As Guy toppled over, Flik shook his head. "Laws of nature are such a convenient thing, some days..." Guy: 22 
Marcello vs Lloyd Irving
Taishyr [12:20] pOsTgRoUnD~PR3SEA~: ...Yes, Lloyd. Flail at Marcello at all your might. [12:25] pOsTgRoUnD~PR3SEA~: This is certainly a tactic that will defeat the man who has enough willpower to dominate the primary seal on the ultimate seal, enough cunning to try and lead the church before the good guys burst in on his game, and enough power to give them a run for their money. [12:51] loloyd: k [12:51] loloyd: match start I go now [12:51] pOsTgRoUnD~PR3SEA~: ...Lloyd, that was sarcas- [12:52] pOsTgRoUnD~PR3SEA~: ... Well. This ought to be an impressive trainwreck. [12:53] loloyd: lol he beat me [12:56] pOsTgRoUnD~PR3SEA~: ...I wish I could say I was surprised, Lloyd. I wish I could say I was surprised. Marcello: 35 CO Raven
Rayquaza vs Jowy Atreides
Taishyr "Hungry Friend?" "Yeah, that's what I named my Snorlax." Jowy nodded sadly. "I didn't expect Rayquaza to be able to thrash him so thoroughly..." "...You really don't keep up that much, do you." Chisato said after a moment, looking at Jowy. "Hey, you see how much you like a Snorlax hurtling through the air at you at mach speeds!" Jowy replied, furious. "...Right. This is Chisato, signing off. Get someone to look at that poor Snorlax - impacts at that speed are brutal no matter what." Chisato said, turning the camera off before beating Jowy into the ground. Even Chisato does not countenance animal cruelty. Unless she does it herself. Rayquaza: 27
Fina vs Guy Cecil
Tide Fina has a trump card in this battle: Instant Death. Nothing in the world of Tales of the Abyss can stop it. And it is very lethal to Guy. The problem? The spell has horribly slow charge time. And what is Guy known for? Speed. Before Fina can even finish the spell charge, she's likely to have eaten 4 or 5 regular of Guy's standard physical chains. Oh well, at least Guy, being the gentleman that he is, can try and serve her a drink in that snazzy suit after the fight. Assuming his gynophobia isn't kicking in off the battle field. Fina: 12 
Anita vs Rutee Katrea
Tonfa The girl with the Swordian and the other swordgirl made their entrances to the arena. Except where there the other swordgirl was supposed to be, there instead stood a deranged old swordsman with silver hair. "I shall not be mocked anymore! I will show the Duelling League proper the true power of a warrior, his incomparably sharp blade and the legendary Swallow Rune! Behold and despair, as -" Rutee knocked him out with a single punch. Who let Genshu in anyway, and where was Anita? The jury, consisting of Juan, Dias and Rei simply shrugged and ruled Rutee to advance, stating "Well, that does qualify as a win of some sort." Anita: 9 
Kain Highwind vs Cecile
Taishyr Kain may have been the original. Kain may have been the first to perfect his art. But against someone who picked up all the tools needed from Edgar to do it herself, what option do you have? Yes. He did the unthinkable. "...Why. WHY. WHY?!?" Cecil thundered at Kain, who simply grinned. "Hey. We cleared it with the guys from Bahamut Lagoon, and Cecile with those Dragoon Boots, Edgar and Cid all decided to join up! Lan... Lan... LANCER!" And then Cecil stabbed him. Well. When you fall to such depths, and drag others with you, you deserve to be smashed by a paladin. Kain Highwind: 16 
Ninja vs Mareg
Taishyr The match between Ninja and Mareg was proceeding just as expected; the two warriors traded blows back and forth, swiping at each other cautiously as they tried to judge relative skill. And then the lipstick came down from the heavens. Both Ninja and Mareg stopped and turned to the bordering Arena, as screams and yells were heard. "That was Zophar and Diekbeck, right?" Mareg asked simply. "Yeah, seems like it." Ninja replied, looking out toward the horizon before getting hit on the head by a stick of Crimson Radish. Mareg raised a hand to stop the falling lipstick, before shaking his head. "This is far too weird. You can take the win, I'm going home." Without another word, he turned and left, leaving a dazed Ninja the winner. Ninja: 38
Kwanda Rosman vs Laguna Loire
Tide Good news for Laguna! He's probably getting off a Limit Break in this battle. In fact, Laguna was so happy about this fact, he was totally prepped up and ready to strut his stuff! Of course, Laguna being Laguna, is also a klutz. The moment he tries to pull off a Desperado, his leg cramps up and he slips from the rope he regularly hangs on to. Not only did he come crashing down, he also ended up bombing himself with his own grenade. ------ "..." "You're right Ward. We REALLY shouldn't be surprised by this. It is Laguna", Kiros managed to say as he looked at his mute friend who just shrugged in exasperation when they saw Laguna blast off from the arena. "On the plus side, at least he won't be in office for a week. We won't be forced to listen to him playing Seifer Rap while working" Kwanda Rosman: 42 
Akaghi vs Shiro
Gatewalker Ninjas and Dogs. A more potent combination of awesome there could not be without venturing into the realms of internet silliness such as Ninja Pirate Dinosaurs and such. Akaghi could picture it now. Himself, a mysterious and powerful ninja warrior, fighting from the shadows against the forces of darkness and evil with this savage beast standing loyally at his side. Akaghi and Shiro would be the most awesome Ninja and his Dog team ever, all he had to do was tame this beast in the arena and it would follow him loyally for the rest of his days. Sure, Shiro already had a human he hung out with, but come on, who would he rather be the sidekick to, a badass ninja warrior or a wimpy kid with a bow? When Akaghi posed this very question to Shiro, accompanied by lots of awesome ninja moves and such, he was rather shocked by the answer. Sure, Shiro didn't flat out SAY he thought ninjas were overhyped, but really what else could a headbutt to the groin followed by chewing said ninja's face off mean? Still, Akaghi isn't giving up on his dream. One day, he will find a totally sweet canine companion to enhance his ninja awesomeness. Maybe Koichi is looking for a career change... Akaghi: 18 
Pikachu vs Rico
Taishyr "Pika?" "Oooh, it's so cute! Come here, little Pikachu!" "Pikaaaa..." "Such soft fur! You're the cutest Pikachu ever! Yes you are!" "Pika pika pika!" "Hehehee! Here, I've got some food for you! Here you-" "RICO! GET OVER HERE, I NEED MY ARMOR POLISHED AGAIN!" "Oh! I'll be right back, Pikachu! COMING, SIR!" "...Pika?" And thus ended the most epic duel in the history of the DL. Pikachu: 52 
Mao vs Joker
Taishyr "And then - AND THEN! - the little snot-nosed brat decided that right in the middle of the fight he'd start taking pictures! Can you imagine that? A mighty Incan warrior, suddenly turning back into a little twerp with a bloody camera and taking snapshots! ARGH!" "Hah! Can't believe you had to work with such a brat, Mao...!" "Yeah, I know. Stupid kid. Here, have more of this sake - a special import, guaranteed to knock the socks off ya!" "...!!!" --- "Whoo, that was one wild night. Thanks for hooking me up with that Mao chick, Joker. She can really hold her liquor!" "Heh, no problem. Drank all day last night, then, Ace?" "Yeah. Did a lot of story swapping. She was really interested in our group, said she may consider joining up at some point." "Never any problem with a good new recruit. " "Yeah. Damn. That girl may be fond of her cat suit, but she's a real tiger when she gets going, if you know what I mean, eh?" "..." "...what? Did you want her first?" "..." --- "Joker?" "Yes, boss?" "I just got a call from Hugo." "What's up?" "Ace is apparently over there, babbling incoherently. Something about wanting to be burned to death, Mao, and not-fursuits." "...so that's where he went?" "Let me get this straight. You got Ace to go out with Mao, they drank the day away so you won your match by default, and you drove Ace insane." "Am I fired, boss?" "...No. You're promoted. Keep up the good work. ...Heh. Aila and Jacques will never let this go." "..." Mao: 17
Super Equity Friends: The Ultimate Challenge Taishyr The new base was established in DL City itself, to provide a constant presence from which the Super Equity Friends could protect the world. With Groudon and Kyogre protecting that base, the inadeq- er, that is, the base was always safe from enemy attacks, no matter what! And with Rayquaza always above as a reminder, the base stayed safe no matter what. Another perfect victory for the Super Equity Friends! Monster Z: 11 Septageneric Ninja: 3 Ballerina Mask: 2 Lady Lightbringer: 9 Equity Friends South: 21
DL Team Battles III SnowFire Well, let's see. Team Garlyle has one competent member and three pieces of utter dead weight. Team Fire Emblem has at least 3 halfway-competent types. Let's charitably assume that Titania doesn't double any of the snails. Let's also nicely assume that Mio survives the first wave of attacks and paralyzes a knight, and further more that Nana, Saki, and Mullen somehow manage to kill off Nils when he gets unlucky on his evasion every time. Additionally, no knight ever gets a critical. So, it's turn 2. One paladin is paralyzed and the other two have no support. Mio is still alive but absorbed 3-4 hits last round. Nana and Saki are pretty much dead weight for doing damage to the other knights, so they hang out, and Mullen maybe tosses some weak healing on Mio. To win, Mio needs to survive the two more hits coming at her this round, then the final hit from the remaining unparalyzed knight in round 3. That's seven fairly nasty strikes in total. Because when Mio dies, even if only one knight is left unparalyzed, the rest of the crew have pretty much no way of doing anything to their defense. So, did Mio survive seven swordy stabbings by skilled samurai? And wasn't Mio the frail one, again? Just goes to show that swords and lances may have something against yo-yos. Garlyle Forces: 14 Fire Emblem protectors: 35 Alanna82
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