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Yuna vs Malik Benedict
Meeplelard "BoltX!" was heard as Jade fried Malik after being "summoned" by Yuna in the middle of the fight. "...does that count as interference?" said Lyn from the judge's box. "I'm not sure...do we even have guidelines for situations like this?" replied Arnaud. Look, does it matter? The fight ended in a rather painless manner...well, except for Malik that is. And there was no actual incident. Frankly, as far as I'm concerned, the outcome is legit. Besides, he DID agree to being Yuna's slave, which makes him no different than rest of her Aeons. "Wait, I thought that agreement only lasted until the end of last season?" replied Lyn. "It did, but apparently Jade got severe mental trauma from being near Rikku for so long that...well, what do YOU think happened?" replied Arnaud. Yuna: 55 
Magus (Janus Zeal) vs Citan Uzuki (Hyuga Ricdeau)
Meeplelard Both Magus and Citan, agreeing that in terms of combat and intelligence they were equals, decided to face this match in a completely different light. Of course, neither was going to fall for each others suggestions, so they chose things the old fashion way, that being a randomized Roulette, Lottery, whatever. Point is, it was randomly chosen! The result? Super Robot Wars Style Battles, complete with giant mechs and everything ...Magus just forfeited, as losing his pride in this case is far better than losing his dignity, given he didn't know the first thing about piloting giant robots. Magus (Janus Zeal): 27 
Gades vs Zelos Wilder
superaielman Transgendered DL Tales swordsman with a sordid history of tolerating Zidane.. versus a giant walking suit of evil armor who has a large army of fans who insist he belongs in Godlike and a just as large group of detractors who insist he belongs in Light. There can only be one winner here. --- "I... what... WHO GAVE JUSTIN DUAL BLADE?!?!?" The heroic Zelos took one look at the hero of New Parm with a weapon strong enough to level the arena and ran screaming towards the exit, and to hell with the match result. Gades.. well, Gades did what Gades does best. He challenged the red haired hero with the Dual Blade to a battle to the death. And much like the last three times he picked that fight, Gades got his ass whipped in front of pretty much the entire universe. At least it wasn't Wain beating on him again. Gades: 33 
Ramirez vs Lady
superaielman The terrible power of Malice infuses every inch of what once was Grace Garland's being, leaving nothing but a creature bent on killing... but one that needed Killer to hold her hand and give her food. Completely helpless without her guardian. Or so Ramirez thought. No one ever accused the Silvite swordsman of being a genius. -- Ramirez's plan to deal with Lady was simple and brutally effective- tap the questionable powers of Zelos and not harm lady, but use Silver Nightmare to have Lady slay her guardian. It would work perfectly- her idiot guard was standing right outside the arena, watching the fight and sending Ramirez looks that would start a fight in any bar in the DLverse. That look would get solved in a hurry. Ramirez dropped into his battle form, and drew upon the ultimate Silver skill. "When there's light.." Puppet strings pulled at Lady, yanking her towards a surprised Killer. What else was Lady but a tool of Evil anyway? This fate- killing her Killer- was too good. "There's darkness.." The nightmare had begun. Lady's brutal Crimson Raid attack knocked Killer off his feet. "Sword of the Dark Moon!" The strings twitched again. Calamity Gaze knocked Killer into the floor. Literally- he was knocked at least a foot through solid stone. The Nightmare ended, the strings vanished. But the damage had been done. Killer was nothing more than a twitching body outside the arena, and Lady was unable to do anything on her own. Ramirez was going to be victorious! "...Killer..." Lady turned around. Her eyes were red. And shortly after, so what was left of Ramirez. Ramirez: 14
Sir Leopold vs Jeremy Non
SageAcrin Staff wielding flying dog. Missile launching man. Staff wielding flying dog. Missile launching man. Such a slaughter, isn't it? Someone really should have told Jeremy how badly surface-to-air missile batteries work at brutal mauling range. He thought it was a slaughter too. He was right. Just not how he thought. On the upside, he now has the great story to tell at bars of the time a missile blew up two inches from him. Good at parties, too. Sir Leopold: 36 
Farah Oersted vs Drachma
Dhyerwolf Drachma couldn't even hit a giant flying whale with a massive harpoon gun. How on earth would he be able to hit that flat-chested Farah? Sure, she might need many turns to take him down, but being an RPG female love interest who is miniscule in the only way RPG female love interests ever have any noticable size, Drachma will never even see her. Farah Oersted: 22 
Canas vs Sharon
Meeplelard Unfortunately for Sharon, Canas is far above being distracted by Sharon's choice of fashion, not to mention already being married makes him completely immune to any sort of temptation Sharon may attempt on him! ...unfortunately for Canas, though, Sharon's still got a sword that she can stab through his spine faster than it takes him to chant a Luna spell. Canas: 18 
Largo vs Zalbag Beoulve
SageAcrin Two honorable family men. Both forced into less than honorable positions by their own misguided beliefs. Both formidable fighters, both capable of leveling entire battlefields by themselves. There was only one solution to this match. --- "Brother, next time...you really shouldn't take up the offer of a drinking game. Not when it's made by someone three times your size." Alma noted softly, as the massively hung-over Zalbag staggered out of the infirmary. "I didn't...didn't think I'd...get...alcohol poisoning...though...and you don't have to scream..." Zalbag said, weaving unsteadily. Largo: 33
Ramza Beoulve vs Rikku
Monkeyfinger "There are rules", the judges said. "You can't have access to your most powerful gear and skills, because they require things everyone can have and not things that are unique to you", they said. "All you have to fight with are your weak, generic abilities. No job combos for Ramza, no ultimate dress spheres for Rikku", they said. "We don't care if versatility was what made you such effective adventurers. Find another dueling league if you don't like it", they said. Ramza and Rikku had had just about all they could take. "Yunie was lucky enough to land summoning abilities no one else following her can have, you know? And because of that she has multiple godlike championships, while the two of us are stuck fighting in middle for the right to face some oversized plant and probably lose to it... AAAAAAAAGH! Why did this have to happen to us!?" Ramza wrung his hands angrily in response. "I didn't save Ivalice from the Lucavi by allowing myself to be pushed around by people who think it's their right to tell me what to do. I defied. I became an outcast. I saved myself and an entire country from oppression by learning many different trades, gaining many different powers, and flawlessly combining them." He started pacing. "People in this league elevate themselves to 'godlike' because they had the right things handed to them on a silver platter. No doubt they are as decadent as those I overthrew.... enough. Rikku. Let us teach these people a lesson. We won't be unfairly bound by their arbitrary, self serving rules. We'll tear them down, and then we'll have a good clean fight with our true strength unfettered." "Yeah.... YEAH!" Rikku exclaimed. "We'll show up to the arena fully decked out. No one will dare tell us we can't fight how we want! No one will have the guts! And we'll set an example to everyone in our situation, like those people from Balamb. We'll show 'em!" And so, Ramza showed up with a golden escutcheon backed by abandon, maximized brave, minimized faith and the strongest weapons and armor Ivalice could offer, and stared down Machina Maw. "Don't try to tell us we can't do this!" Rikku called out to the judges's box. "We have more than enough strength to-" 13 knights descended on her from the judges box and tore her to bloody shreds. Ramza looked up quickly, saw a yellow flash followed by a red one, then the knights came for him. Sephiroth, in his black-caped human form, stared grimly and lowered his arm. On it was a bracelet containing three materia: Sneak Attack, Knights of the Round, and W-Summon. "That's not the kind of plan you can keep secret in a place like this, especially not when you yell it as loudly as Rikku yells things. Or did you think only you had access to that kind of power?" Conformity pays sometimes. Ramza Beoulve: 43 
Lani vs Ayne
Meeplelard There's one thing you have to consider before you look at this match: Whenever you have a big hulking guy wielding an axe, what is their success ratio at like...well, ANYTHING? ...I think my point is clear. Lani: 33 
Miranda vs Venusaur
SageAcrin Ahhh, the battle between a giant, animate plant, and a magical girl. Despite tentacles being involved, this battle was actually remarkably benign. Venusaur simply healed through her one dangerous shot of damage, puffed her with evidently pointless seeds, and proceeded to slowly whittle her life away before defeating her. Quite boring. Three days later, Miranda, evidently out of her mind, proceeded to drive a portable howitzer into a match, killing twenty seven and injuring 179. When asked why, the insane Miranda proceeded to discuss the merits of "those damned demonic butterfly birds they're everywhere oh god Melbu is spitting them at me NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!". Venusaur, when interviewed, simply let out an exceedingly satisfied "Saur.", smiled a little, and waddled off. The reign of Worry Seed Venusaur, sleep-stealing scrub-shattering Pokemon, has just begun. Miranda: 17 
Yuki vs Vincent Valentine
Dhyerwolf In an emo-off! Well, none of the judges were really sure what that would entail, but apparentally it involved many sharp cutting tools, whiny music, and many cries of despair. Yuki gave it his best shot, but Vincent was crafted in the form of an emo vampiric god. The Valentine easily won the emo contest...and subsequently lost the match by the laws of nature stating that emos automatically lose. Yuki: 34 superaielman
Shana vs Riddel Viper
Meeplelard Unfortunately, despite Riddel being actually a strong minded princess who, while not that strong herself, doesn't have a lot of fear, and is willing to even stand up to a guy wielding the Masamune and trying to kill her... And the fact that Shana is...well...the complete opposite of all that... She still can't overcome the fact that Dragons > Snakes on reptile heirarchy. Shana: 37 
Flonne vs Gobi
SageAcrin A mighty roar. Two massive, clawed feet, raking the arena. Gobi, staring up in horror. Flonnezilla had come for him. His time was nigh... --- "Um...Etna...I don't think anyone's going to really believe that Giga Bowser is me..." Flonne noted, as Bowser spun violently, encasing the poor fishman in a blizzard. "Relax, he looks just like you." Etna replied, smiling. "No, he doesn't!" "Sure he does. Look, the flat chest, the massive, powerful thighs, the sharp, rending fangs, the small brain, the ground-pounding earthquake-making bu-" "ETNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Flonne shrieked, chasing the laughing Etna out of the stands. "Hum. I guess I should have told her that I just bought the judges. But, that's okay. This was funnier." Laharl shrugged, as he watched them go. "Man, that Bowser would make a fine vassal, if only he could stay big..." He added meditatively. "Of course...maybe if I...hmhmhm..." He chuckled softly. Flonne: 46 Meeplelard
Turnip vs Kiwi
Meeplelard Kiwi = Giant Turtle. Giant Turtle = Gamera. Gamera = Famous Japanese Kaiju Monster that is apparently a complete bad ass, much like Godzilla. Godzilla = Loved by chidlren. By extension, Kiwi = Loved by Children. Turnip = Vegetable. Vegetable = Hated by Children. Therefore, Turnip = Hated by Chidlren. So when it comes down to it, all Kiwi has to do is summon an army of Pre-schoolers to his side, and at the first sight of Turnip...well, you know how crazed out 5 year olds can get. Turnip: 16 
Algus Sadalfas vs Fu So Ya
Meeplelard FuSoYa is the guardian of an ancient civilization with advanced technology, that lives in space, traveling from planet to planet, compared to a world that has just learned how to utilize propellers and gunpowder. At his disposal, he has the knowledge of just about every single mage in existence, including mastering the power of the almighty Meteor. He's also 700 years old and is related to both the world's greatest Hero AND the unstoppable Villain. Algus...has a crossbow, a shield and a spiffy uniform. Algus Sadalfas: 10
Hope for the Hopeless Meeplelard "I...I can't believe my eyes," said Laya as she looked at the battlefield "did we finally win, and with minimal casualties at that?" "It would appear to be the case. My sensors don't detect any lifeforms left here, as all have either fled or have been defeated" replied Wren. "Well, it seems our Lord Vaynard has indeed won this match for us. I feel like I can sleep easy for the first time in years!" said Guinglain. "Did you honestly doubt my brilliance? The Norgard Defense Force is invincible! Make note that our taste in Ice Cream is far superior to others, and those who try to argue otherwise will suffer my wrath!" exclaimed the mighty White Wolf himself. "Yes! ALL HAIL LORD VAYNARD!" shouted Duran. Off to the side, the Black Knight, who was no doubt the true reason for such success, stood on the side motionless, glaring. Yes, that's right; the Norgard Defense Force actually won their first battle! Why would someone of his calibur join the Norgard Defense Force is anyone's guess. However, with him as the newest of Vaynard's men, could this be a new era, where the name "Vaynard" is not mocked? "Our next target, NDF, will be the Nanten Knights of Ivalice run by that foolish Black Lion! We shall prove to him that the White Wolf is higher on the food chain, as White represents heaven and Black represents evil, a classic match with me being the true hero! That, and everyone knows that Wolves are like dogs and Lions are cats, and dogs beat cats! WE WILL MAKE THEM SUFFER FOR BUYING STOCK IN McDONALDS INSTEAD OF BURGER KING!" ...probably not. Norgard Defence Force: 24 Graham Cray: 23 |
