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Chaos vs Chaz Ashley
SageAcrin The brilliant light of judgement. Pure. Cleansing. Holy... --- "Okay, I get that Chaos keeps healing himself. But why is he healing Chaz when he tries to kill himself?" Rolf asked curiously. "How should I know?" Celes replied testily. "All I know is that this match is literally going to take forever at this rate." "...ahhh, yes, I recall this bet." Zio noted from his judges seat, with an air of disgust. "The great Profound Darkness and this lowly...thing called Chaos had a bet. Chaos claimed that so called "white" magic was just as capable of evil as the dark, destructive energies were." "So he's trying to drive someone insane by healing them?" "Yeah, basically." "...that's actually not a half bad way to prove his point." "Yes, but my idea of using revival magic to bring back old internet memes was better." Zio noted grumpily. "Imagine! All your base would truly belong to evil! You could not surviv-" "..." Rolf sighed, as he blasted Zio into a wall with Megid. --- Chaz woke slowly. Where was he? Why did he feel so strange? And why was Raja in a bikini standing over him? ... Raja in a bikini!? --- "He keeps screaming about scantily clad Dezolisians." Rika sighed, as Chaz moaned and thrashed despite heavy sedatives. "Well, three days of getting pummeled and healed can do that, I guess. Let's hope he snaps out of it. Otherwise, I'm going to have to start shaving my bikini area at this ra-" Raja was cut off. "...No. Just no." Gryz stated, pressing his axe against Raja's neck firmly. Chaos: 37 
Velna vs Kurando Inugami
superaielman Velna has a certain looked. Older but not middle aged. Still pretty, but not the looker she once was. A little deseperate for male attention in fact, now that her chosen one barely notices her. Kurando.. an innocent male. Stunningly handsome and honest to a fault, the type of pleasant, sweet person that attracts the attention of women of a certain age. Velna wasn't going to miss the chance to not only crush Kurnado, but claim him as her new personal bodyservant. In her arrogance, she sent out invitations to the fight to every other middle aged lady who was close to fitting her profile. She had to show off, after all. Edea. Miranda. Sialeeds. Endora. Lucia. Erim. Lilly. The invited list also included Kurando's mother Saki, who did NOT want some old freak like Velna laying her hands on her sweet, innocent son. In her arrogance, Velna also assembled a group of women with extremely strong maternal attachments to men like Kurando- young, sweet, and innocent. The stereotypical hero. When they heard Saki's ranting about how Velna was going to use poor Kurando, none of them were pleased. Doubly so when Saki implied that they may be going after their sons next. Velna didn't even have a chance to lay her hands on Kurando before being torn apart by enough magical firepower to level a charging army (Or even worse, a charging ninja prince). The judges were wise enough not to question several highly pissed off and powerful mothers. The insult to injury was Avalon refusing to pay her hospital bills- since Velna hadn't yet earned a victory, she had to pay the bill by sweeping the floors. All while being hit on by the constantly hosptialized Sten. Velna: 15 
Killer vs Yunalesca
SageAcrin There's good news and bad news for Yunalesca here. The good news is that she won in an incredibly boring slugfest match. The bad news is that she was wrong. Not *all* guardians can be turned into Final Aeons. She'd so wanted to see the true, raw power Killer could have made possible. Of course, the one that's really put out is Lady. Even throttling Yunalesca to death with her bare hands simply didn't perk her up much. Killer, meanwhile, is simply admiring the thoughtfulness of his girlfriend. I mean, it's one thing to kill the person that beat you up, but to get it taped? While being a mute? That's a lot of trouble. I guess the crazy ones sometimes are still keepers. Killer: 18 
Lamington vs Jade
Dunefar BoltX strikes an angel down from the skies. Isn't that ironic? Isn't that sad, Lamington? The god that cast you down is a bug. That's gonna leave the ol' ego bruised and battered. Just like you! Lamington: 15
Justin vs Decus
Dunefar Justin is an idiot. Idiots are drawn to fire. Decus is on fire. I think you know where this one is going. It's too bad Justin isn't fireproof, but at least he can be healed. Eventually. Justin: 20 
Janus Cascade vs Suicune
SageAcrin Janus had it! He knew Suicune's weakpoint! After all, he was but a Guardian, and he'd absorbed the powers of Guardians before, by raiding their homes! Travelling over Johto would be a sinch for him! Then he'd ruin Suicune's source of power before the match began, and would have won before the match started! --- -I knew it. I knew he'd get stuck trying to grind a Hoothoot up to solo everything. Mewtwo noted, as he watched Janus' desperate battle with Bugsy end in defeat, as he struggled his way towards the charred tower Suicune once had called home. Suicune nodded solemnly, and departed for his token appearance at the arena. Entei, Raikou, Ho-oh and Lugia were too busy laughing their asses off to make much commentary. Have you ever heard legendary Pokemon laugh? Goes through you like a bone saw. But it's not as if anyone can blame them, really. Janus Cascade: 14 
Alis Landale vs Hahn Mahlay
SageAcrin The Profound Darkness was depressed. Not that fun kind of depressed where it gets to cut it's self, the kind where it can really creep people out by playing Linkin Park. No, it was actually depressed, not just faking it to screw with people's heads. Losing a bet to Chaos, of all....things? On the evil of...that...detestable "white magic"? It was a travesty! The Profound Darkness hadn't misunderstood the evil potential of anything so badly since she'd decided Harry Potter couldn't possibly get popular enough to bother with mentally influencing it's author into more mentally shattering writing. No, she needed something to perk her up. And then she found it. --- "Take that, minion of evil! Pretty Soldier Hahn Mahlay never loses to any evildoer!" Hahn shrieked wildly, flailing her baton at Alis. Alis, now sporting 10 year old girl features, a long, flowing majestic beard, cat ears and a chainmail bikini, easily parried Hahn's blow, roared mightily, and counterattacked with a battleaxe. The crowd simply sang along about how life was a cabaret. And the Profound Darkness smiled. She didn't know how the hell she'd ever survived before she found this place. Normal people didn't stay sane enough to heed her commands after she'd influenced them. Ultimately, after a long, protracted makeout session which the judges(Luca Blight, Kefka and Ghaleon) gave 10/10, Hahn was declared the winner. Now let us never speak of this ever again. Oh, but there is one last thing to note. Profound Darkness, after having her fun, recognized that true evil is really obtained by learning from one's mistakes. And so, she jobchanged to Cleric. Only 137,897,421 fights to go before gaining a job level. Not very suited to it, but she has all the time in the universe. She'll get this down eventually. Alis Landale: 20 
Ziggy vs Rose
Idun Well what can I say really? The only battle that seemed like a complete win-lose situation was Rose Vs. Ziggy because his lack of a unique Defibrillator and Rose's Insta-Death move. Regardless of his speed, attack, and MG DEF, he cannot kill her in one turn thus ruining his chances of seeing Voyager. Ziggy: 16
Nelis vs Saki
Dhyerwolf You know, the only reason Saki ever bothered to win Light was to get close to that dreamboat Mullen. After all, if she upgraded, she'd get to hang in the Middle locker room with him! That loser Leen wasn't even ranked! All that quality alone time would surely give her the opening to steal Mullen away! And then he got himself downgraded. Well, Saki knew that deep inside, Mullen couldn't handle a women in a division above him! For her tragic love, she threw herself on Nelis' metaphorical sword, hoping that Nelis would then lose and Saki could downgrade to her love. Granted, it's not like Saki had a chance anyways, but Nelis wasn't about to argue with an easy victory. Nelis: 35 
Aika vs Erk
SageAcrin On the goooood ship. Lollypop. It's a sweeeeeet trip. To a candy shop! Where bon-bons play~ --- "Hah. So that's what happens when they don't have a physical attack and you whack them with this!" Aika crowed, as Erk pranced around the arena singing. "This Swirlmerang was worth the effort to get!" Aika barely had the heart to finish him off, but she ultimately decided that it was for the best, in the end. Kind of a mercy killing. On the upside, Serra now can't get enough of Erk's singing. Wait, that's not an upside. Aika: 36 
Meredy vs Pent
Dhyerwolf Quickie is quite the strange creature. An avid biologist might wonder where such a thing sleeps? How does it mate? What does it eat? Of course, after this last match, Pent can at least answer that last question: Silver string. Unfortunately for Pent, his hair quite resembles the object of Quickie’s consumption. Trying to fight off a ravenous beast, even a small one, is quite difficult when you are also trying to protect yourself from skin burning spells. Of course, Pent chose to protect his locks. After all, dueling seasons come around all the time, but beautiful hair like his must be treasured. Of course, Meredy later rewarded Quickie by setting him loose in Kuja’s powder room. Needless to say, Quickie had quite the large dinner. Meredy: 23 
Huxley Hobbes vs Albert Serdio
SageAcrin "Ha! Gust of Wind Dance!" "Hmph. Like you can defeat me that easily!" The crowd was silent, peering anxiously. The match fascinated them. What was so strange about it? --- "You know, that's pretty mean of you." Ash noted. "Ehhhh, come on now, you wouldn't ruin an old man's fun." Haschel chuckled. "But won't the crowd get mad when they realized neither of them's a cardboard cutout and that they can't win the bet anyways?" "Ehhh. I'll pay off if they guess it's neither. Not like that's likely. And look at how happy they are! They'd never get this kind of attention any other way." Haschel chuckled as Huxley, unable to fight against Albert's brilliant spearwork, slumped to the ground. No one ever did guess correctly. Lots of people guessed "both", though. Huxley Hobbes: 13
Futch vs Jean
Gatewalker "DAMMIT BRIGHT!" The aggravated shout of the veteran Dragon Knight echoed though the arena, while the crowd couldn't seem to decide whether to laugh, cry or just shake thier heads in bemusement at the turn of events this match had taken. For his part, the white dragon merely looked at his master quizzically, wondering what on earth the problem was. Futch's opponent, the frog prince Jean, was too busy kicking, struggling and squirming in an attempt to get out of the dragon's mouth to politely explain to the confused creature what the problem might have been like he usually would. He did eventually get out of Bright's mouth, of course. Unfortunately, it wasn't in the direction he would have preferred, but such is often the course when dragons get involved in matches here at the RPGDL. Oh, the match? Futch forfeited by way of apology. Besides, he needed to focus on undoing some of the damage that had been done to Bright instead of fighting right now. Who knew that using Queena's Pet-Sitting Services once a week could have such disastrous results? Futch: 22 
Cius vs Euram Barows
Dhyerwolf "Guards, take this knave away!" Euram cried out loudly. "Guards!" "Guards?" "GUARDS!" Euram probably should deign to notice the people who work for him. If he had, he'd note that Cius had taken up employment as the head guard in his house. He'd also told all the others to take the afternoon off. He promised he'd take care of Master Euram after all. And take care of him he did. Cius: 39 
Rafa Galthana vs Chongara
SageAcrin Chongara stood strong and proud. Maybe his opponent was a legendary assassin, but he cared not! He was the mighty powerful summoner! He couldn't be stopped by some girl who charges ninjas! No, all he had to do was be pulling out his legendary Summon Pot and drum on it a bit and there would then be hades to pay! Wait, why wasn't things happening for Chongara? --- "Choko doesn't know about this...I mean, Choko's old enough to drink, but you all look too silly doing it." Choko noted, as Venusaur danced around on it's front legs, drunkenly attempting to bellow "SAUR, IVY, SAUR!" while Hemo-Ji attempted to flick him. "Choko thinks she'll just watch you all be stupid." She finished. Ultimately, the partying of his only offense lost the match for Chongara. He'd punish them, but they decided to buy him a keg as a way of making it up to him, so he's fine. Rafa Galthana: 32 
Rinoa Heartilly vs Fargo
Gatewalker Nobody was surprised when Fargo, dashing pirate that he was, came swinging into the arena on a rope while brandishing his sword like a true swashbuckler. He was a bit of a showman, and had every right to be proud of his skills and ability to entertain an audience, after all. What people were surprised about was Rinoa jumping down from the cieling dressed head to toe in black, and throwing...frozen shamrocks? Yeah, throwing frozen shamrocks at the pirate captain. Fargo, a bit too experienced to actually be caught off guard despite the insanity of the attack, quickly called in some cannon fire from his ship and used the explosions to sneak around behind the would be ninja and rap her rather sharply on the head with the pommel of his sword. As Rinoa fell into a heap, Fargo turned his attention to a very embarrased looking Squall, who was walking out with one hand planted on his forehead, "Can I ask you one thing, boy?" "Why?" "Yes. Why?" Squall sighed, "Well she thought she'd do some research on the internet on how to beat pirates and..." Fargo held up one hand, "Stop right there. I don't want to know anymore. Get this girl some help." Nodding, Squall scooped up his girlfreind and turned to go, "Uh, thanks for not embarrasing her any more then she did to herself at least. I owe you a drink for making this whole thing quick." Making his own way out, Fargo was still a little dumbstruck, "I think that's the first time a man's ever thanked me for cracking his miss upside the head...though I'd almost be willing to bet it's not the first time he's thanked a man for doing that..." Rinoa Heartilly: 25 ThePiggyman
BITGOYSWB RESSURECTION Joou Ranbu The revival of BITGOYSWB was seen by many with skepticism. The music critics dismissed it as a money-grubbing scheme. The hardcore fans were wary, thinking they may have lost that magic, the magic that made them so big in the first place. People new to the whole thing weren't sure of what to expect. And, when the album finally arrived, it exceeded all of their wildest expectations. The moment the listeners realized that the album was actually a lullaby rendition of an obnoxious Lilly Allen song played backwards, the entire music community burned the comeback into the ground. The band tried to explain that they got hijacked by a mysterious evildoer, but to no avail. Nobody would listen to their songs for a while. Now, as Fujin scrapes her way through management of a McChocobo's Fast Food restaurant, she still wonders who was the idiot who managed to pull it through. She does suspect Seifer, though, since she has never seen his smile as smug as it is when he orders a McMog Nugget with fries. Spiteful, but effective. Mary: 9 Demonic baby: 4 Shadow Hearts: 4 Waits: 7 Velvet underground: 3 Exploding livers: 7 None: 15 |
