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Ash Lambert vs Kefka Tidus vs Scias Nina Wyndia vs Ayame Reis Dular vs Gijimu
Week 5 - Semifinals




Ash Lambert (VH) Ash Lambert vs Kefka Kefka (FF6)

Zenthor
Ash and Kefka decided their battle would be decided by a good, old-fashioned swordfight. Metal clashed against metal, and eventually... Ash disarmed Kefka. Literally.

Ash looked at Kefka's bleeding socket where his arm was.

"Now stand aside, worthy avasary," said Ash.
"'Tis but a scratch," Replied Kefka.
"A scratch? Your arm's off!"
"No it isn't."
"Well, what's that there?"
"I've had worse."
"You liar!"
"Come on, you pansy."
"Well, then."
The fought more, and Kefka's other arm came off in battle.

"Victory is mine," said Ash confidently. He got on his knees. "Thank thee, Vandalier Swor.. AH!" He was interrupted by Kefka kicking him in the head.

"Come on then!" Kefka yelled as he kicked.
"What?"
"Have at you!"
"You are indeed brave, sir... Clown, but the fight is mine!"
"Oh, had enough, eh?"
"Look, you stupid thing, you've no arms left!"
"Yes I have!"
"Look!" Ash pointed at the severed arms.
"'Tis but a flesh wound!" Kefka kicked Ash again.
"Look, stop that!" Ash exclaimed.
"Chicken, chicken!" Kefka kicked Ash again.
"I'll have your leg!" So Ash cut off Kefka's left leg.

"I'll get you for that!"
"You'll what?"
"Come here!" Kefka hopped towards Ash.
"What are you going to do, BLEED on me?"
Kefka rammed into Ash. "I'm invinsible!!"
"You're a loony." Ash shook his head.
"The Black Knight always Triumphs!" Kefka exclaimed.

"...The who?"
"Er, Kefka always triumphs!"
"That's better, don't want to get those copyright tight-wads on us for that."
"Right." Kefka nodded, and they went back to the fight.

"Have at you!" Kefka rammed into Ash again. "Come on, then!"

Ash sighed, and cut off Kefka's other leg. "All right, we'll.."

"OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH!" Jogurt jumped out into the arena. "As the referee of this match, I'm ending it now. It's bad enough you're blatantly ripping off Monty Python, but you did it poorly, too! This is a battle, not a bad acting class!"

Kefka and Ash lowered their heads in shame.

"And for that, I'll arbitrarily call the winner of this match. The winner IS..."

Ash Lambert: 16
Kefka: 15

Genocide Heart
Kefka: *Fallen One*
Ash: *Attack*
Kefka: Ow. Pain. Death. *drops dead*

Semifinal
When all is said and done, Kefka is going to be standing on the corpse of Ash, laughing his ass off in that suave, 16-bit way of his.

Kanos
Kefka is known far and wide for his laughable durability. Despite his propensity for dealing tons of damage, he just can't take it nearly as well as he dishes it out.

Ash is known for his earth-shattering physical power, with which he can kill the final boss of VH in one hit. The man can crumble diamonds in his hands.

Poor Kefka.

Infinity Dragon
Ash OHKOs Dark Angel Dolf...why should Kefka, who has much, much, less defense, be any different?

Kefka, like everyone else who met up with Ash this season, is reduced to chunky salsa casually sprayed across the arena floor.





Tidus (FFX) Tidus vs Scias Scias (BoF4)

Infinity Dragon
The cool-headed fighter always whips the emotional one. Scias puts the crybaby to sleep with the aptly named Sleep spell. Tidus meets a messy death at the hands of a Level 3 Focused Shining Blade.

Tidus: 13
Scias: 21

Murphix
It was going to be a brutal fight. Tidus knew his best chance was to get in Haste and Slow immediately, followed by successions of Quick Hits until his Overdrive builds up. He knew that if Scias got in just one turn, there existed a high probability of him casting Sleep--taking advantage of Tidus's natural weakness to magic and thus status effects.
Scias also knew this would not end easily. He would simply have to ride out the damage until he could get a Sleep spell in. Other than that, there was nothing he could do.
The day of the match arrived. The judge signaled for commencement. Scias prepared for the onslaught. As expected, Tidus opened with Haste, and immediately followed with Slow. By now Scias could not see his opponent, but rather a good sized yellow-blue blur. The hits just kept coming, but Scias could not even see where they came from. At one point he concentrated enough to attempt a quick Sleep spell, but Tidus moved so fast he actually knocked out most of the members of the box seats. Scias was prepared for a quick defeat. "Overdrive time!" yelled Tidus, knowing the match was his. Yuna appeared on the sidelines, as always, to deliver the blitzball for the final blow, when suddenly, "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!" screeched the judge's whistle. Tidus stopped in mid-twirl, and the blitzball hit him off the head. He promptly fell down, clutching a newly formed lump.
"Oh, what now?" he whined to the judge.
"Outside intereference! This is a duelling league, not a tag team match! Tidus, you are dis..."
"W... w... w... wait," said Scias, speaking even slower than normal. "I... c... c... con... connnceeeede."
The spell was then lifted for the sake of all those listening.
"T-T-Tidus would have g-gotten me, ev-ev-even if he hadn't h-h-had h-h-help. I c-c-can't accept the ch-ch-championship."
The judge agreed reluctantly, and Tidus was christened the new Heavy champion. He was so impressed by Scias's honesty, though, that he donated the prize money for the Center for Magic Speech Therapy Research, in an effort to help all stuttering dogs everywhere.
NOT. He just laughed and gloated in Scias's face.

Meeplelard
What's the problem with a Speed game? All of them require some time to get going, and thus, eventually, you'll run into someone faster than you, who can hit your one weakness, thus foiling your plans altogether, and come off ahead. This is a lesson the Blitzer is learning the hard way.





Nina Wyndia (BoF2) Nina Wyndia vs Ayame Ayame (S3)

Meeplelard
And thus, we conclude the "Run of Death" as Nina slaughters the Ninja Ayame with the one spell that won her 8 matches in a row, and the respect that only the lack thereof should be put in Nina the 3rd. Let this be a lesson for those who think 2 = 3.

Nina Wyndia: 19
Ayame: 13

Infinity Dragon
Wow, 8 opponents in a row who can be hit with Death. After easily suriving Ayame's Shrike, Nina takes another Championship.

Lord Windscar
Noooo, Kanon was beaten by Death!!!

But in any case, I must see more death!





Reis Dular (FFT) Reis Dular vs Gijimu Gijimu (S2)

Oblivion Knight
Gijimu was faced with a problem. Killing dragons is not an easy task, and for a One-Dimensional Suikoden fighter like himself, the chance of him winning were pretty low. However, all was not lost.

In an odd coincidence, Gijimu had borrowed Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire the very week of the match. Having read the book, he stumbled upon an idea. Of course, he wasn't nearly as apt with magic as Harry, but he could substitute.

On the day of the match, instead of laying into the the dragon with his axes, Gijimu pulled out a wand, and attempted to use a conjunctivitis curse on the dragoner. Even odder than seeing a fighter with a wand, was the fact that it worked. Reis was blinded, and ended up incinerating the audience with her dragon breath, effectively getting her disqualified and giving Gijimu his first Light championship.

Reis Dular: 13
Gijimu: 21

Jealousy and Ego
Justin vs Rune Walsh
vs
~superaielman


Grefter
Hmmm, this doesn't so much seem to be a match of can Heaven and Earth cut beat out Legeon. No, its more of can Rune's sarcastic wit and more develloped intellect overwhelm Justin's stupidity.

Now one would think that absolutely NOTHING can penetrate the lump of solid bone that passes for Justin's head, but Rune can prove otherwise. It is not by attacking Justin's own idiocy that Rune will win this battle, it is by mocking Justin's choice of wife and children which will grant him the victory. No father would be able to stand the shame of the show Rune will put up for the audience centred around Justin's familly.

And then of course comes the complimentary Legeon in the face while Justin slowly cries himself into unconcsiousness.

Safely to say, it will be fun for the whole familly, bring your parents!

Justin: 14
Rune: 15

Hunter Sopko
As much as we all hate Justin... even with two shields, do you really think Rune could take any hits whatsoever? Methinks Feena will find her passion in her boyfriend rekindled.