 | Welcome to Behind the Scenes, asking the tough questions and ignoring the answers! On tonight's show, we say hello to eight of our competing fighters. And now, the host of our show, Chisato Madison!
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 | Good evening. Our first guests tonight are the magi of mediocrity, Lezard Valeth and the Black Wizard.
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 | Hahahaha! You dare present me in the same light as that generic retread?
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 | Oh, sure, dump on the new guy.
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 | That was the general idea.
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| Well, BW, we'll start with you. You're the first. Nearly every pure offensive magic user that has come by in the DL has followed your prototype. Do you have anything to say about that?
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| I think you're overestimating my influence. I mean, I based my career on my Black Wizard forerunners. I'm just the latest in a long line, like those Lutz guys.
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| So you're not the original Black Wizard?
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| Oh, no, there have been hundreds before me, and I suspect there will be hundreds after. It's really quite humbling, when you think of it, being just a small part of the Black Wizard mystique.
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| Yes, but you have to have your own personality. All you've done is talk about Black Wizard the class, and not Black Wizard the person.
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| Um... well... I like staves?
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| Eh, close enough. Lezard.
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| Yes?
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| You, a former Godlike, are now fighting a former Heavy in Light. What do you think of that?
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| I shall turn that hussy into ashes, as I sally forth in my quest to return to the division in which I belong.
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| Sorry to burst your bubble, buddy, but Puny doesn't really exist anymore.
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| You contemptuous cephalopod! I am a Godlike, and you shall treat me as such!
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| Don't Godlikes on the show regularly get beaten to a bloody pulp by Chisato?
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| Yeah, but don't tell him that. It'd spoil the surprise.
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| All right, Lezard, there's something I've been wondering about. The "nerdcromancer" nickname you've picked up is a bit condescending, but you've made no attempts to stop people from using it. Why?
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| My lady decided it was amusing, and as such it would be an affont to her to deny it.
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| Grow a spine, man! Is there anything that you can do anymore without checking up on your little crush first to see if it's all right?
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| It's not like that!
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| Then what is it? Because from where I'm standing, you're whipped.
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| Well, when I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.
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| Oh, really. Well, I have a couple of things to give you...
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| While Chisato pounds the snot out of Lezard, let's move on to Middle. Our guests are Marle Guardia and Jeane.
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 | Good day.
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 | Hi!
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| So, Jeane... um, is there anything that I can ask about you that won't get my mind wiped?
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| Oh, come on, like you have a mind to wipe.
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| Har har. Very funny, Gilgy.
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| Well, you could ask how I feel battling the reigning Light champion.
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| Sure. Let's go with that.
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| He seems like a nice man. I hope he's not too broken up when I stop his heart.
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| With a lightning bolt?
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| Maybe. There's more than one way to do it, you know.
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| I have to ask - of all the crazy theories that people have had about you, which do you think is the most amusing?
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| There was one young man who I won't name. He seemed to have the idea that I was made of pie, and kept trying to sprinkle sugar on me. It was really quite amusing. In retrospect, I'm kind of sorry about what happened to him.
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| Should we ask?
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| No.
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| All right then. Hello, Marle.
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| Hiya!
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| You've got to be happy - there's no Alma to stop you this time.
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| Yeah. It sucked losing to her twice. Maybe now I can show what I can really do.
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| Do you have a strategy in place for your match this week?
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| I'm going to shoot arrows and cast spells. And then I'll win, and Crono will be proud of me, and then I'll bake a pie!
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| Pie?
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| She asked too many questions in the green room. She'll be back to her slightly less ditzy self in a few hours.
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| Unfortunately, we can't wait that long, so we'll say farewell to the two of you and make our way to Heavy.
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 | ...
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| Oh, hello! Do I know you?
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| ...
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| I don't think that katana should go in my spleeeennn...
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| And once more we see reckless violence on a show that may be seen by young children.
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| I know. Doesn't it rock?
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| Anyway, Celia, could you spare a moment from your maiming for a question, please?
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| Sure.
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| Lede has had a good career in the Arena, if not exactly a spectacular one. Since this is your first time in a season proper, did she have any advice for you?
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| Only to do my best, and for some peculiar reason, to watch out for tactical nuclear launches.
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| I have to admit, that's good advice for anyone.
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| Thank you. Now, our next guest is the legendary General of Vector.
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| Celes?
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| No.
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| Kefka?
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| Terra?
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| Batman?
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| No, no, and what the spoon?
|
 | They're probably just doing that to annoy you, you know.
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| Of course.
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| Could there be a more noble endeavour?
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| Hi, Leo. It's nice to see you back in the tournament.
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| Yeah.
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| You're looking rather tired. Maybe you should...
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| Don't say it. I've tried. It's just that I've been so busy with my writing that I haven't had much time for sleep.
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| Your writing?
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| Yes, I'm studying calligraphy. Cyan suggested that I take up one of the arts as a way of relaxation.
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| It doesn't seem to be working.
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| On the contrary! My body's tired, but my mind is more focused and keen than it has been in quite a while. I'll spend the rest of this week recovering, and be at my best when I enter my match.
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| Knock 'em dead, General!
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| Now now, Ultros. Behind the Scenes can't go around cheering and overtly supporting fighters.
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| Can I go mock Lulu instead?
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| Of course.
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| All right, that brings us to our final guests, Lamington and Fei.
|
 | So, you're saying that if I join the Church of Celestia, I wouldn't have to deal with Gears or fighting?
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 | Perhaps. There have been relatively few battles in Celestia over the past few millenia. I can't make any promises, though.
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| What about tax rebates?
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| Taxes? What need have we of taxes?
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| Oh, I see. You're one of those churches.
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| I don't like your insinuations, Fei. Would you care to retract your statement, please?
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| Not a chance! You almost brainwashed me into your cult!
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| The Church of Celestia is not a cult, and we did not attempt to brainwash you. In any case, you were the one who first asked about joining.
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| I'm not listening to you anymore! You'd probably make Elly get married to some hick idiot.
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| Yeah, like that would be a stretch...
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| First Deus, now you. All gods are...
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| I am no God, and I would not use such generalizations, were I in your place. You're being overly irrational.
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| You're trying to take Elly away from me! I'll kill you! My Elly! Mine!
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| Miss Madison, I believe we may have to forego our interviews. This young man is in need of calm, and failing that, a few Judgements upside the head, as it were.
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| Very well.
|
| Now, Mr. Wong, if you would kindly step over here so that I may rend the flesh from your body...
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| Huh, I didn't think angels were allowed to do that. Isn't it strange to see an angel attacking wrathfully, Chisato?
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| ...you're joking, right? Indy, Iseria, Gabrie Celesta...
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| Oh, right. Well, that about wraps it up here...
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 | I'm telling you, this isn't the residential area.
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 | Have you ever been here?
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| Well, no, but...
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| Then shut the hell up! I'm in charge, so what I say goes, and I say we're in the residential section!
|
 | Kevin no remember voting on leader. Is Priere trying to trick us?
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| Excuse me, but we're in the middle of taping here, so could you all go away?
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| Now look, here... hey, you're Chisato Madison, star of Behind the Scenes!
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| Last time I checked, yes.
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| I'm such a big fan! All the brutal beatings you give, both verbally and physically! This is such an honour, I can't believe it!
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| Kevin, I believe we've been tricked.
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| Me think so too.
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| What are you three doing here?
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| We're here to compete in the Not Ranked tournaments.
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| Yeah, I'm going to show my idol that I'm a great fighter.
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| If we do well, maybe people think of putting us in DL.
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| Besides, I have nothing better to do after the end of Zero 4, where I...
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| Spoiler Squad, Third Division. Stop your actions immediately! Seal!
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| Surfer man got stoned! Kevin no understand.
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| Don't worry, you'll learn... |
Welcome back, Junior Defenders, and welcome to the RPG Dueling League's second week of glorious Season 22! I'm sure you're all very excited to find out who won last week, so make sure you head over to check out the results! There were quite a few surprises, so don't hesitate!
