 | Really Miss Chisato, I don’t know why you’re throwing things at me.
|
 | You went to Oxford, and you can’t even understand why I’m angry with you?!
|
| Logically, I don’t see any reason why. I mean, I did provide you with support during an understaffed week. I figured you’d be happy you didn’t have to do all the work yourself.
|
| Ultros and Gilgamesh are my slaves! They know this perfectly! There’s no other idiot who can run the cameras or the cue cards as well as them!
|
| Ultros and Gilgamesh are training for their upcoming matches. I approved their scheduling requests for time off.
|
| Then where are Morte and Odin?
|
| Morte had a date to get ready for.
|
| He had a date? You let him get off with a weak excuse like that?
|
| Decapitated, floating, undead skulls don’t get very much in the way of dates. I figured it would be a refreshing experience for him to date someone not classified as a medical cadaver.
|
| And Odin?
|
| Severe head trauma. Currently at the hospital. You need to learn to hold back just a little bit more when dealing with your subordinates.
|
| He’s had head trauma all his life, and that’s never stopped him before!
|
| You put a pair of high heels through his skull. That’s a bit different than just beating him with a blunt object every day.
|
| Fine, I guess you’re right. It’s just…did you have to hire them?
|
 | Where’s those cameras?! Come now, it’s my debut! I must be given my time to shine in the spotlight! The days of sunny pasts shall become…
|
 | Argh! Stop blabbering you stupid little brat. I still have a hangover.
|
 | I told you I’d drink you under the table, old man. Same with you, not-so-old man!
|
 | I would have had you beat if my stupid sword hadn’t had a bit too much to drink and called Myria a little brat before getting knocked clear over to the next town. I wasn’t going to go searching for him, but considering what happened last time I made the sword angry…
|
| Why do you torture me so?
|
| Think of this as Purgatory…caught on film. Speaking of which, I’d say it’s about time you started. Come now: regret stands not before incident!
|
| If you didn’t pay my bills…Welcome one and all to the greatest show on Earth!
|
| The Meribian circus?
|
| No you moron! It’s Behind the Scenes! Ahem…welcome to the show! My typical co-hosts are out tonight, but in their place we’ve been…graced…with some brand new faces! Everyone, say hello to…
|
| Me! The fabulous, amazing and overall great Zed! I am he, the Metal Demon too great to be a member of the Quarter Knights!
|
| I was under the impression they didn’t want you because you’re worthless as a fighter and inept as a thinker.
|
| There will be no fighting or straying from tonight’s planned interviews! Do I make myself clear?!
|
| Whatever.
|
| …yes ma’am…
|
| There. Now, first off, tonight is the first week of Season Twenty-Six, which should prove to be spectacular! So our first guests tonight hail from Light: please welcome…
|
| What’s up?
|
| Mmm…looks like our first guests are a flying squirrel and some demon woman. Am I still drunk?
|
| There. No, you’re right. Ugh. Welcome Mukumuku the flying squirrel and Melody Vilente, a very vain girl who carries a mirror around with her everywhere.
|
 | True beauty deserves such doting.
|
 | Mu! Mu mu mu!
|
| Mmm…not too bad looking.
|
| Yeah, the squirrel is pretty cute.
|
| …what the…is your head made of metal too?
|
| He’s just the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen!
|
| Mu?
|
| Pay attention to me!
|
| Right then. Tell me, Miss Vilente, just how you plan to win your next match. I mean, you are fighting a righteous defender of justice, and such people have shown a nasty tendency to beat the living daylights out of 2-bit villains like yourself. I mean, Virginia? That was pretty embarrassing.
|
| Excuse me? What are you implying?
|
| I think she’s implying that you wouldn’t stand a chance against this cute little squirrel here, babycakes, let alone that knight guy you’re supposed to be fighting.
|
| How dare you! My beauty is a finely toned weapon! No one can resist it!
|
| Just like no one can resist my flowing scarf and amazing acrobat antics!
|
| I’d like to place a bet on that.
|
| So how do you think your beauty will affect Cyan? I mean, the guy was married, so I don’t think he’s looking for a date any time soon.
|
| No man can resist a beautiful lady. It’s the one true constant in the world.
|
| Right. Well, best of luck to you on that, and I hope you don’t break that mirror. Anyway…Middle guest time.
|
| My debut! Presenting Forde the mighty cavalier and Paulette the generic girl!
|
 | ”Generic Girl”?
|
| It’s an Arc the Lad thing. So, tell me…
|
| You’re fighting a merchant, right? Would it happen to be an overweight, bespecled rich kid from Meribia?
|
| It’s actually a fat man in pajamas.
|
| Doesn’t sound too different to me.
|
| Don’t interrupt me! Now, Paulette, tell me how you expect to do this week. Your cast-mates have had a pretty bad run in the DL every time they’ve gotten in. Do you think you can do any better this time?
|
| Probably. I mean, it’s a fat merchant in pajamas: how hard can it be?
|
| Why am I still here? I’m missing happy hour down at Lilly the Skull’s bar. I’m out of here.
|
| Don’t forget to pick up your son on the way back. He gave us a call saying that he needed a ride.
|
| He can walk! Stupid crybaby.
|
 | Not much fatherly love there. Now, about my…
|
| Moving on to Heavy now…
|
| Aren’t you forgetting something? This poor cavalier over here!
|
| Figment of you imagination.
|
| But he’s…
|
| Not real. You’re going crazy. He’s not real. Just ignore him and he’ll disappear.
|
| Uh…ok.
|
| Don’t ignore me! Stop ignor…oh god! I’m starting to disappear! No! Noooooooooo!!!!!
|
| Perfect. Now, let’s give it up for our Heavy guests Valter and Maria Traydor. Welcome.
|
 | Ehehehehehehe!
|
 | What a loon.
|
| That loon’s one of the few Fire Emblem Heavies. Seems like he knows what he’s doing, at least.
|
| As one of the few Fire Emblem Heavies, Valter, do you think you’ve got what it takes to prove that your series can win in more than just Middle and Light?
|
| Ehehehehehehe!
|
| Well, he’s at least not distracted by much.
|
| Right. Best of luck to you Valter. Now, Maria, how does it feel to be the most successful Star Ocean character in the DL?
|
| Wonderful. I’m a winner, as I say. This dream demon won’t stand a chance. Flamingly homosexual whip-wielding video game designers are scarier than any demon I can imagine. I’m not afraid.
|
| Good. So then that means we can finally move on to…
|
| Godlike! Just my type of division!
|
| Yes…Jade and Lucia, come on out!
|
 | Hello.
|
| Ah, Jade, how does the dancing career go? Still bitter at that Sarevok person?
|
| Not anymore. I’ve realized my true dream to dance is far more important than any battle. No matter the outcome, I’ll still have a dance to return to. That’s all that matters to me.
|
| Really?
|
| Yes.
|
| Good to know. Now, for Lucia…
|
 | I don’t want to talk to you.
|
| The hostility in her voice! It’s malicious intent!
|
| Yeah, Lucia and I had a little bit of a spat all the way back. I think she’s still bitter.
|
| You made my son cry. It’s whipping time.
|
| Now you’re talking!
|
 | Kyle! What are you doing!?
|
| Uh oh. Gotta’ run!
|
| Mmm…well, that’s it, isn’t it?
|
| I can’t see these women fight each other! I must break it up!
|
| Suit yourself. I suppose that’s it for tonight. Now, can I figure out how to work this camera…
|
| Payback! All those seasons!
|
| I’m going to rip you apart!
|
| Please stop! You’re confusing me with your screaming and moving and…
|
| Hrrrraaaaaaaa!!!!
|
| Ah! My face!
|
| Hey, finally found the switch…
|
My friends. My wonderful friends. You have come to join me, yet again! Today marks the beginning of season 26! We have quite a bit to do, so I hope that you will all stay with me as we go through it all. As you may expect, the Results from last season are up.
