 | ^_^
|
 | What. The. HELL is that thing doing here?
|
 | Aww, it's so cute! Come here little guy...
|
 | Uh, Odin, I wouldn't do that...
|
| ^o^
|
| Whaaaaaaah!!!!
|
| *GULP*
|
 | What have I told you about eating people when it's not in a match?
|
 | I think a better question is why does he have white hair and a mop now?
|
| Moppy~
|
 | Ah, good, you're here. Where's the penguin?
|
| Having thirds on lunch. He'll be here, you did promise to pay him in food afterall.
|
 | What's going on boss?
|
| That's what I want to know. Spill it, Nate.
|
| Alright, as you know we've had a small reality breach and some of Peach and Mario's friends from a different dimension are stuck here for awhile. And I'm being employed to keep them out of the way for awhile until the mages can figure out how to put them back.
|
| So...special guests on the show?
|
| More like special hosts of the show. For now, you all have new assignments. Head over to the main office to pick them up.
|
| What, just like that?
|
| Yes. Now clear out, and let me get this show on the road.
|
| I'm really sorry about the inconvenience. I'd just take us all home myself if I knew how.
|
| Stuff it, sister.
|
| Whelp, no sense arguing with the bossman. Come on guys, let's go grab some ice cream.
|
| Your proposal intrigues me. Suddenly, a forced exit doesn't seem so horrible.
|
| Call us if you need us, boss.
|
| We'll have things under control.
|
| Alright, here's how this works. Zelda, you're the host. Snake, you man the cameras, and the puffball can...he's already started mopping. Yeah, he can just keep doing that. The penguin is security once he gets here. Just interview the fighters and try not to blow up my studio. Any questions?
|
| No, it seems easy enough.
|
| Piece of cake.
|
| Moppy~ moppy~ ^_^
|
| Right. The show's yours, I'll be in my office.
|
| Um, alright then. The schedule says that we're supposed to start with Lady and False Althena from Godlike.
|
| Lady, huh? Where's the Tramp?
|
 | ...
|
| No, no, he's not calling you a tramp. It's some kind of bad joke, I think.
|
| Hey, my jokes aren't bad.
|
 | Well it certainly wasn't funny, so that really only leaves bad. A joke that does not entertain cannot be considered good, having failed at it's primary purpose.
|
| Phht, you people have no culture.
|
| Um, please just ignore the grumpy cameraman. So, you two ladies are fighting for a championship this week? Have either of you been this far before?
|
| No, actually. Lady is still relatively new, and my own record is mostly full of first round losses. It's a nice change of pace to be on a winning streak.
|
| I see. Any predictions for the outcome?
|
| .
|
| Oh, I'll win, of course. I can't let the championship slip away having finally come this far.
|
| ...
|
| Uhhh, why is she staring at me like that?
|
| You interrupted her. That wasn't very polite of you, you know.
|
| Inter...what? How could I have interrupted her, she didn't SAY anything?
|
| Heck, she didn't even open her mouth...
|
| Well I heard her just fine. Please go ahead and continue, Lady.
|
| ...
|
| That is a good point. Well, good luck to both of you ladies.
|
| Uh, yes. Thank you.
|
| ...
|
| What!? Quit staring at me like that!
|
| So, I guess that brings us to the Heavies, right? And that would be...
|
 | Whew! Sorry I'm late, just couldn't resist another slice of that chocolate cake. That's the stuff, I tell ya. So what'd I miss?
|
| A couple of really powerful women, one who can't talk and the other who talks too much.
|
| Sounds like a hoot. Now, uh...why's Kirby over there moppin' the ceiling?
|
| Apparently he swallowed the studio's janitor. And you know how he gets about playing with new powers. Even the weird ones.
|
| Especially the weird ones.
|
| Hiiii~ ^_^
|
| ...right. So what's next?
|
| Ah, call in the Heavies, please. Should be Mr. Arc and...Evil Sir Leopold.
|
| Alrighty. Hey, we need an Arc and a Leopold in here!
|
 | Grrr...
|
| You got a problem, fido?
|
 | That's Leopold. And mind moving so we can get through the door?
|
| That's? Huh, okay. Looks like it's a scrawny kid and a pooch.
|
| Scrawny?
|
| Relax kid, his majesty here thinks anyone who isn't as around as they are tall is scrawny.
|
| Hey, y'all skinny folks need to learn how to have proper meals like me and Kirby do.
|
| How about I eat YOU? Will that suffice for a proper meal?
|
| Can we try to keep this civil in here? Please?
|
| Usually not. The show seems to bring out the worst in people.
|
| Oh, Kirby spit you out, huh?
|
| ???
|
| Talking about you, not to you, puffball.
|
| What...is that thing?
|
| A light snack?
|
| Um, let's move on. Arc, you've got mostly a losing record, yes? How does it feel to be in the finals?
|
| Well that's mostly in Godlike. In Heavy I can hold my own just fine, and better then most.
|
| I'm not sure if I should start with your arms or your legs. Though I think I'll rip your jaw off first so the only noises you can make are incoherent screams.
|
| This show really does bring out the worst in people.
|
| Actually this is pretty normal for him.
|
| Do I have to devour you too? I wonder if eating even an inept god would give me any of your power...
|
| Y'know, you shouldn't be talking so much about eating around...
|
| *glurgle*
|
| Oh no.
|
| Oh no, did I make the poor thing hungry? Here, it can have my lunch, let me just get it into my stomach where the lunch is...
|
| Kid, if you know what's good for you, get away from that dog. NOW.
|
| Uh, right. Moving now.
|
| ^o^
|
| Ergh...this wind...I can't...fight it...AAAAAHHHHH!!!!
|
| *gulp*
|
| Hah, now Kirby's done turned himself into a pooch! Come on, you want the stick? Go fetch boy!
|
| Ruff Ruff!
|
| ...you all aren't getting ranked, are you?
|
| Shouldn't be. Apparently we play by different rules then you all.
|
| Good.
|
| Well, there goes half of Heavy. Anything else to say kid, or are we moving on?
|
| Uh, can I just pretend I made a generic speech about how the hero always beats the villain and head out?
|
| Sure. Nice having you. Dedede, bring out our Middles please. It should be a boy named Yuki and a woman named Alice.
|
| Here, just lemme throw the stick again real quick. Hah! Alright, now we need a Yuki and an Alice out here. Get movin' folks!
|
 | Hey, this is...um...er...hi, I'm, uh, Yuki.
|
| Er, yes, hello. Welcome to the show.
|
| Y...yeah, th-thanks for having me.
|
 | Oh boy...
|
| Um, does he have a problem?
|
| I think he's got a thing for pointy ears. You look kind of like his girlfriend only a lot prettier.
|
| !!! Th...that's got nothing to do with it! I'm just nervous 'cause I'm in the finals is all!
|
| You're blushing, kid.
|
| Am not!
|
| Um, okay. I'm flattered, but already spoken for. So, about the match...
|
| Oh, yeah, um, I'll totally just whip out Flash and...
|
| WHAT!? You're going to flash her? What are you some kind of pervert?
|
| What? No, no, it's my special move.
|
| "Special move" huh? So that's what they're calling it these days.
|
| *giggle* It really is a combat technique, he's not a pervert.
|
| See! Thanks for backing me up.
|
| ...alright. Now about the match?
|
| Okay, I've got this move that makes me really fast, so I'm moving like a flash, see? That's what it's called that, not because I...y'know...
|
| We believe you kid, I was just giving you a hard time.
|
| And you?
|
| I doubt he can dodge my magic. And I can always heal, as well. I can win this, and then Yuri won't be the only champion in this relationship.
|
| We'll see what Dragon Slash has to say about that. I'm not just going to roll over and lose, I've got someone to win for too.
|
| Aw, now ain't that cute? The boy wants to win for his girlfriend.
|
| Ruff!
|
| ...that's an interesting pet you've got there, Mr. Penguin. It looks kind of familiar...
|
| Hey, Kirby ain't no pet! He's my arch-enemy!
|
| ...uh, so do you play fetch with all your enemies?
|
| Hey, everyone needs a break from the ol' hero/villain routine sometimes.
|
| You know, you've got a point there. Well, nice meeting you all, but I need to go make sure Edge hasn't talked Yuri into doing anything stupid in the last five minutes.
|
| Uh, yeah, I'm gonna go work on my next idea for a plane. B-bye!
|
| Ah, teenagers.
|
| Missing your own youth?
|
| Not a chance. You couldn't pay me to be that stupid again.
|
| Hah. Well, Dedede, send in the Lights if you will.
|
| Sure thing, princess! Hey, y'all two left out there, get in here!
|
 | This show gets stranger and stranger every time I see it.
|
 | Eh, I've seen worse.
|
| With your years, sir, I would be surprised if there's anything you haven't seen.
|
| General Dinn, Sage FuSoYa, it's a pleasure meeting you both.
|
| The pleasure is mine, m'lady.
|
| Always the gallant gentleman, aren't you lad?
|
| I would do disservice to my master if I were otherwise.
|
| Hey, old man. Are you one of those super magical old guys that this place seems so full of?
|
| Indeed I am. Why do you ask?
|
| Yeesh. That's what...three mages, three swordsmen, a weird monster lady and an evil dog. Does nobody around here use any firearms or decent artillery? I mean, this IS the RPG Dueling League, right?
|
| Um...I don't get it. Why would you expect people to use those things here? Most of the worlds we hail from don't even have such weaponry.
|
| Are you serious?
|
| You seem surprised, young man.
|
| Look, where I come from, RPG means Rocket Propelled Grenade. I was expecting to see explosions all over this place. Kind of a let down, if you ask me.
|
| If it's explosions you want, go watch some godlike matches. You'll see plenty, I promise. They'll just be magical instead of technological.
|
| Bah, magic's alright, but it's just not the same as a good high explosive.
|
| Disrespecting magic, Snake? Need I remind you of how well your precious firearms served you in our last match?
|
| Din's Fire is cheap and you know it.
|
| My what? I don't use any fire...
|
| No, not you. That's the name of one of my spells.
|
| That's funny, he didn't bring the stick back. Any of you guys seen Kirby?
|
| Hiii~
|
| Well hello there little one. Is there something I can help you with?
|
| Oh no...
|
| Kirby, don't you dare!
|
| ^o^ |
I, Kazan, bid you welcome to the RPG Dueling League, dedicated to the art of pitting the greatest warriors of the RPG Multiverse against each other in honourable combat! Within lies the greatest showcase of fighting talent you will ever lay your eyes upon!