 | Lady, Decus, Hahn and Erk.
|
 | Yup.
|
| Well, wasn't the hardest thing in the world to call, but you still lucked out guessing them all.
|
 | Don't forget his call for the calcs. That doubled it.
|
| Wait, the true calcs actually WON?
|
| Yup.
|
| Ugh. And here I thought that Balthier fellow might actually be worth something.
|
| Well he did have Algus on his team. That'll bring anyone's game down.
|
| Argath, you mean.
|
| Even better.
|
| You do have a point. So you basically just bet on Alg, er, Argath's ability to out fail Odin?
|
| Pretty much. Turned out to be a safe bet.
|
| Don't remind me. Well, a bet's a bet. I know I said I wouldn't earlier, but you made the proverbial offer I couldn't refuse. The show's yours today, try not to wreck my studio.
|
| Today and next week. The Calcs doubled it.
|
| ...of course. Alright, I'm gone. Chisato, Morte and Odin already got told they won't be needed today, so it's all yours Gil.
|
| Thanks chief. Alright guys, come on in. Let's get this show started!
|
 | Ah, how I enjoy club activities. So what am I on, cameras?
|
 | Give me that. You wouldn't know which end of the thing to hold, morsel.
|
 | I'd probably do a better job then you, but I'll also look better in front of the camera, so you can have it.
|
| Wait, Legretta? I thought you were Ultros next week? Where's Gares?
|
| He's busy trying to stay out of Light. We swapped weeks.
|
| Oh joy, I get the loser. You owe me, Gil.
|
| Hey, I get to ride herd on Bat. It evens out.
|
| What's that supposed to mean?
|
| Point. Alright I'll leave you to your show, behave kids.
|
| Did he just tell a room full of villains to behave?
|
| Well, Ultros is known for his sense of humor.
|
| Even when it is in poor taste more often then not.
|
| Well I couldn't comment on his taste. Haven't eaten him yet.
|
| You're as bad as Heat, I swear.
|
| Only as bad? I need to try harder then.
|
| Alright, places folks. Let's do this.
|
| Alright, camera is...on. Bring on the breakfast of champions.
|
| I'll take the co-anchor's seat.
|
| Which leaves me security. Well, I'm suited for it at least.
|
| True enough. Alright, welcome one and all to this very special episode of Behind the Scenes. This is the post-season week of season 43, and I'm Gilgamesh, along with my friends from the Reoccurring Bosses Club, Legretta, Weigraf and Bat, here to interview the champions and runners up, as well as take a quick look at the upgrade and downgrade pools.
|
| At this time I would like to introduce our first guests, the lovely but silent Lady,
|
 | ...
|
| and the brooding god of tricksters, Loki.
|
 | Hmph.
|
| Well, Loki, it would seem that even your brutal Indiscriminate spell was not enough to take down Lady before she preemptively returned the favor. Would you care to make a comment about your match?
|
| I...admit that I underestimated her power. It's not a mistake I'd make twice, that's for certain.
|
| So you're confident that you would win a rematch with Lady?
|
| I wouldn't quite say that. Merely that I would stand a better chance then I did this time.
|
| So why the sudden humility, Loki? That's not normally your style.
|
| Having one's face ground to hamburger is a humbling experience, I'd warrant.
|
| Mmmn, faceburger.
|
| ...
|
|
|
| Nice going, Bat. You've somehow managed to disturb both a being of pure malice and Lady.
|
| How can you tell?
|
| There's a distinct difference between an "I don't talk" ellipsis, and a "you disturb me" ellipsis.
|
| I'll take your word for it.
|
| Oh, Loki. Didn't you make a bet with Odin about your victory? So what do you owe him for losing?
|
| ...
|
| And there's an "I am now very angry at you for bringing that up" ellipsis.
|
| I'm sorry I asked.
|
| Well, that's all the time we've got for Godlike. Lady, congratulations on your double championship. Loki, better luck next time.
|
| Well, before we move onto Heavy, let's take a moment to mention the potential godlike downgraders who will be fighting for their positions this week.
|
| That's right, we have the dreaded Dark Force, the peerless swordswoman Raquel Applegate, the master programmer Luther Lansfeld, and even former godlike champion Luca Blight on the chopping block.
|
| With a pool like this, our Heavy champion and runner up are going to have their work cut out for them if they want that coveted spot in Godlike.
|
| I don't see what's so frightening about that group.
|
| I'm sure you don't.
|
| There's a reason you aren't ranked, Bat.
|
| Hah.
|
| Well, speaking of our Heavies, allow me to introduce Decus and Feena. Decus, congratulations on your championship. It's always nice to see the idealistic hero get crushed in the end.
|
 | Hmph, you didn't 'crush' me.
|
 | That's right, I BURNED YOU TO ASHES!!!!!
|
| That's the one thing I don't like about this place. No matter how often you kill someone, it never sticks.
|
| You'll be glad for that the first time an earth mage gets their hands on you, believe me.
|
| Earth?
|
| FIRE!!!
|
| Wind.
|
| Wa-
|
| I will shoot your elbows off if you follow suit. All of them.
|
| Uh...so, about that upgrade pool. Decus, as the champion you've got the best shot of going up. Think you can manage it?
|
| Of course. I'll just BURN THEM ALL!!!!
|
| One track mind, eh?
|
| You're one to talk, mister faceburger.
|
| I'm half surprised you haven't tried to suggest a deal where he cooks people and you eat them yet.
|
| I prefer my food raw. Wiggles more as it goes down that way.
|
| That's...gross.
|
| Ewww. Um...can I leave now? Please?
|
| Sure.
|
| Can I hunt her down and eat her alive?
|
| Sure. Weigraf, you're on cameras.
|
| Eeeek!
|
| Where you going? I said alive, didn't I? Come on, it's for a good cause. The fact that I'm hungry!
|
| Oh, Decus?
|
| Yes?
|
| Nate left a note saying you're limited to being in the studio for three minutes. Take off.
|
| But...I haven't gotten to burn anything in here yet.
|
| I think that's the point.
|
| Go find Bat and burn him. He's probably outside by now.
|
| Ah, excellent idea!
|
| Does he have any idea how well that's not going to work?
|
| Likely not. A better question, do I care?
|
| Almost certainly not.
|
| Well, that's heavy out of the way. Now before we meet our Middle finalists, lets see who they'll be up against in the pools. Legretta?
|
| On the chopping block from Heavy, we have the newcomer Hect from the equally cheered and maligned Grandia 3. An old fan favorite, the worren companion to the third Ryu, Rei. A man who champed Middle twice before getting murdered his first fight in Heavy, the great Arnaud G. Vasquez. And finally the psychotic wyvern rider dropped into the pools by our very own Ultros, Valter the Moonstone.
|
| Hmm, don't think there's anyone in that pool I wouldn't be able to buy an upgrade over, myself.
|
| I think you're overestimating yourself again.
|
| Hah! You doubt my abilities?
|
| Well it's a moot point since you aren't in the pool, Weig. Anyway, Legretta, pull the middles out here will you?
|
| Of course. Here we have...oh. A couple of PCs, right. I forgot you two made it all the way here.
|
 | Excuse me?
|
 | What's that supposed to mean?
|
| Just that a single decent boss would have laid the both of you out and taken the whole season. Frankly, you two as finalists disgusts me.
|
| Oh that's IT. I'm tired of taking all this abuse on this show! Prepare to get your clock cleaned, sister!
|
| Uh, Tengaar...
|
| Here we go.
|
| You'll not find me as easy as my student, girl.
|
| We'll see about that! EARTHQUAKE!
|
| She did not just...
|
| ...attack a limit boss...
|
| ...with her best spell. Brilliant.
|
| Are you simple, girl?
|
| Huh?
|
| Whatever. Prism Ballet!
|
| ACK!
|
| And that was for making Tear look bad.
|
| Heh, I didn't know you cared for your student so much, Legretta.
|
| I can certainly see why Tear speaks so highly of you.
|
| You're just trying to sweet talk your way out of a beating.
|
| Yes.
|
| Well it's working. Now Hahn, as the champion, what do you think of the pool you'll be facing in your fight to make Heavy?
|
| I'm just really glad that the only boss in that pool isn't immune to instant death.
|
| Spam Eliminat and hope it works?
|
| That's how I got this far.
|
| Suitably humble. I'll allow you to leave in one piece.
|
| You may want to leave out the side door. Bat has probably finished with the heavies by now and he went out the front.
|
| Thank you.
|
| Alright. And for the middle to light pool we have...*snerk*.
|
| Hmm? I know Gares is in this pool, who else?
|
| Let me see that. ...ah, yes. Heh.
|
| Well, on the chopping block for middle is the Norgard Defense Force. Yes, the whole thing.
|
| And Gares.
|
| That's what I said.
|
| Oh.
|
| Yeah, Vaynard got Alonso and Gares to join his, uh, cause. Whatever his cause actually is. I'm still trying to figure that out.
|
| So the NDF is going to have to fight each other? Won't that be a conflict of interests?
|
 | Well it IS the NDF. They probably want to kill each other as much as everyone else does.
|
| You have a point. You're out here early though.
|
| Sorry, ducked in to get away from Bat.
|
| Understandable. Where's Jewel?
|
| Standing behind him when Bat showed up.
|
| Standing behind me when...how did you do that?
|
| Work this show long enough and you just know how things go.
|
| Didn't try to save her? Some hero you are.
|
| Fire Emblem is distinctly lacking in earth tomes. I'm reluctantly heroic, not suicidal.
|
| *Uuuuurp* Oh man, I can't believe I ate that whole suikoscrub.
|
| Suikoscrub? That's nothing but empty calories there. Be careful how many of those you eat.
|
| No, no, it's cool. This one was diet. Mostly water, really. Tasted kinda bland though.
|
| I have absolutely no idea what to say about that.
|
| You and me both. So, Erk, about the pools. How do you think you'll do against the NDF?
|
| It's Vaynard and a bunch of people moronic enough to willingly take orders from him. I'm making middle.
|
| Be careful, they're all idiots, but they hit hard.
|
| So do I.
|
| And I suppose that wraps up the show, doesn't it?
|
| That it does. Erk, congratulations or something.
|
| Thanks or something. Um, Bat isn't going to try and eat me as soon as I walk out, is he?
|
| Huh? No way, I can go for some diet suikomage, but I draw the line at FE scrubs. You guys taste awful and will add thirty pounds right to my waist. You think I want to look like Mick?
|
| I...
|
| You don't know whether to be relieved or insulted?
|
| Actually no, I'm just relieved. Someone who feels insulted about not getting eaten is frankly insane.
|
| Aren't you just full of good sense today?
|
| Well, that went well overall. From all of us here at BtS, and the members of the Reoccurring Boss Club, I hope you enjoyed season 43, and be sure to come back next week when Ultros and his band of goons inevitably fail to run the show properly! G'night folks! |
I, Kazan, bid you welcome to the RPG Dueling League, dedicated to the art of pitting the greatest warriors of the RPG Multiverse against each other in honourable combat! Within lies the greatest showcase of fighting talent you will ever lay your eyes upon!