 | Alright, last week was funny, sure. You jokers ready to get back to...
|
| ...
|
| Sonnova...AGAIN!?
|
| Yeah, forget this. I'm outta here. If they can ditch, so can I.
|
| *****************15 minutes later***************** |
 | Hello?
|
 | Um, we've been sitting out there awhile. Is the show starting soon?
|
 | No answer. Is anyone even here?
|
 | *sniff* *sniff* Don't smell anyone.
|
 | ...they just left us here.
|
 | How dare they!?
|
 | Oh don't even start. Save the indignant rage for an audience who cares.
|
| Tch!
|
| So what do we do now then?
|
| Go home?
|
| Oh that's no fun. After the time we took to come out here, we should do something at least.
|
| Well, I suppose we could interview ourselves?
|
| Haha, sounds good!
|
| Sure, nothing can go wrong with that idea.
|
| ...was that sarcasm?
|
| Y'know, I'm honestly not sure. Sometimes I just open my mouth and stuff comes out. Don't know what I'm talking about half the time.
|
| Hmm, sounds like Grandiaplotitis. I've heard the third stage of that is the worst.
|
| Ew, keep that stuff away from me!
|
| I'm fairly sure the rest of us can't catch it.
|
| It'd be an improvement for you anyway.
|
| Hey!
|
| I see this isn't going to go anywhere if someone competent doesn't just take charge.
|
| What, you?
|
| I was thinking miss Ena, actually.
|
| Oh. Well, I suppose I can. Very well, if everyone will please separate by divisions, I'll try and get something going. Saturos, would you mind helping me interview the Godlikes?
|
| I suppose I could.
|
| Very well, let's begin then. From Godlike, we have a pair of well known faces from the Final Fantasy series that have been both PC and Boss at different times. Please welcome Beatrix and Seymour.
|
| A pleasure.
|
| Though certainly an unorthodox one.
|
| So, would you two consider yourselves more as PCs or Bosses?
|
| Oh, I am most certainly a Boss. My stint as a PC was for all of one battle, while I would go so far as to count myself as the single most important adversary in the entire adventure.
|
| A bold statement, but one I find difficult to refute. Beatrix?
|
| For all that I fought against the party more often then I aided them, I would consider myself one of the PCs in the end.
|
| Not surprising, considering you're in love with one of them.
|
| Weren't you trying to get Yuna to marry you for the better part of the game?
|
| Yes, but I assure you that had nothing to do with love. It was a power grab, pure and simple.
|
| And I'm sure the fact that Yuna is a rather beautiful young woman had nothing to do with it at all.
|
| Well, I won't deny the union would have had it's secondary benefits.
|
| Now both of your opponents this week are former Godlike champions, one of them the current returning champion in fact. Are you nervous?
|
| I'd be lying if I said no. Ryu isn't a name you want to see opposite yours on the match lineup, no matter which one it is. I...think I can handle the one I drew, but I'm woman enough to admit that I wouldn't bet money on my own success.
|
| As for Heat, well, I am a powerful magician as you well know, with access to many elements. His vulnerability to lightning will be his undoing.
|
| I'm familiar with the feeling. Well, thank you both for cooperating with this makeshift interview.
|
| Not at all, I had fun.
|
| Indeed. Shall I exchange places with Saturos for Heavy?
|
| Well, I can hardly interview myself now can I?
|
| That would be appreciated, thank you. So for Heavy, please welcome the Mars Adept Saturos and the beastman, Kevin.
|
| ...he's staring at me.
|
| Studying you for next round.
|
| While the initiative is admirable, there is a rather large barrier between yourself and Saturos by the name of Zeno.
|
| Me lose? Ha!
|
| Can't fault his confidence at least.
|
| So Kevin, you carry a rather sizable advantage in pure force into almost any battle you enter. You believe this will be enough to conquer Heavy?
|
| Yes.
|
| His brevity is also admirable.
|
| Really? I thought you were a fan of more long winded conversation, myself.
|
| Oh no, I greatly appreciate brevity in others. Leaves more time for me to talk.
|
| ...I walked right into that one.
|
| Yes.
|
| Hehe. So Saturos, do you share Kevin's confidence that you will be able to overtake Heavy?
|
| I don't really think about it much, to be honest. This whole dueling league thing is just a random diversion for me. If I win, I win. If I don't, oh well.
|
| You never struck me as one to succumb to apathy.
|
| It's not apathy. Victory here is simply not important to my greater designs.
|
| And what would those greater designs be?
|
| In general, the study of Alchemy. In specific, I believe I shall refrain from disclosing anything further.
|
| I suppose that's fair. Well, thank you both for being here.
|
| *yawn*
|
| Classy. Well, I'll be off then, you can keep your seat Seymour.
|
| Excellent. So, Alenia my dear! Why don't we continue the game of revolving chairs and have you take Ena's place so we can move on to Middle.
|
| This should be good.
|
| Oh, yes, it is time for me now isn't it?
|
| Alright...so what do I do now?
|
| Just introduce the Middles and we can start asking them a few questions.
|
| Alright. So, allow me to introduce Lady Ena of the Dragon Tribe and Sir Kornell of...where you are from, anyway?
|
| Y'know, I'm not actually sure. I'm just kinda in Emelious's gang.
|
| Third stage Grandiaplotitis strikes again.
|
| Hmm...and Sir Kornell of the Knights of Emelious.
|
| Hey, that's got a nice ring to it.
|
| Would that make Emelious one of his own knights? That's a bit nonsensical.
|
| Knights of Xorn, then?
|
| Naming semantics aside, let's proceed with the interview. So Ena, I notice an abnormally large number of Fire Emblem fighters in this season. In fact, there's one in every match of Middle this week. Is this one of the famous Fire Emblem invasions taking place?
|
| I suppose you could call it that. Really we aren't trying to 'invade' or anything like that. It's...simply in our natures to do things in large groups. The usual idea of a small team of four or five heroes is honestly very strange to us.
|
| So when Fire Emblem ladies go to the bathroom, do they go in groups of a dozen instead of three or four? Those must be some lines.
|
| ...
|
| Moving on, miss Ena, your opponent will be Lucia of Lunar 2 fame. How would you rate your odds of success?
|
| Does she use lighting?
|
| I think she does, yes.
|
| Then probably not so great.
|
| Ah, elemental weaknesses. I'm glad that I am the sort to exploit those instead of suffer from them.
|
| I'm not saying I have no chance, merely that I do not enjoy facing lightning magic. I'm still a large and powerful dragon, with breath hot enough to melt steel.
|
| Well what if she can resist fire?
|
| You'd think that would help, but no. It's flaming hot breath, but doesn't actually count as fire.
|
| Strangely, I can actually understand that. The Sun Rune and it's lesser parts work much the same way.
|
| So, Kornell. You against Caellach, two walk in, one walks out. Thoughts?
|
| He's an FE boss. Durable, they ain't. I hit hard. Pretty easy math there.
|
| Really? I'm sure he can't be any less durable then say, Nino.
|
| THAT WAS A FLUKE, OKAY!
|
| I'm sure. Well, shall we move on to Light?
|
| Hey, that wasn't much of an interview!
|
| It's just not Behind the Scenes if someone doesn't get snubbed.
|
| Aw man...
|
| Oh, yes, then I shall relinquish my seat back to Lady Ena.
|
| Thank you. So for Light, please welcome Queen's Knight Alenia and...hmm, actually I think you're the only Light here.
|
| What? But my unworthy opponent was supposed to be here as well.
|
| I suppose we'll just interview you then. So you're confident in a victory over Kid?
|
| Of course. No mere thief could stand up to any of the elite Queen's Knights, much less the only ones with any true loyalty to Falena such as Zahak and myself. And should she prove more of a pest then anticipated, I can always bring the mighty Twilight Rune to bear against her.
|
| Hmm, I thought you couldn't access it's full power?
|
| I...cannot, no. But even a fraction of it's power is more then enough to deal with some common thief.
|
| Well from what I understand, Kid isn't a mere thief, she's actually...
|
| Hold on! Chrono Cross plot is even worse then third stage Grandiaplotitis, and it's contagious to boot.
|
| Oh...that's impressive. I'll stop then. Ah, does this change your confidence any Alenia?
|
| I'll be sure to get my shots before the match.
|
| Prudent. And they have Chrono Cross plot vaccines now?
|
| Well, you would hardly need them. It's not as much of a danger in the higher divisions, but in Light we run a constant risk of exposure. They've been around since before I got here.
|
| I see. Well, is that everything? I suppose we can go home then. Thank you everyone, this was actually rather fun.
|
| It was certainly different, I'll give it that.
|
| Indeed.
|
| ...zzzzZZZZZ
|
| Guess we lost the pooch-boy. I'll carry him out.
|
| I'll clean up a bit then and then lock up on my way out.
|
| ...
|
| Alright, I think it's been long enough. Ditch the show and snub ME, will you? See what you get then...
|
| *****************10 minutes later***************** |
 | And there's the signal. Looks like my inside girl's done 'er part!
|
 | Aren't you two fighting this week?
|
| Don't mean we can't make common cause if we feel like it.
|
 | I like the way you think.
|
 | Let's get on with this, you've only got an hour of my time.
|
| Right. Volke, you've got Nate's office. Teepo, raid the storage room where they keep the big stuff. Nel, I 'ear old Gilgy keeps a spare set of keys to 'is house here.
|
| And what about you?
|
| I'm gonna go see if I can't sniff out anything personal Chisato's been stashing here.
|
| Heh. Alright let's get to work then. Remember, grab everything valuable or personal you can in one hour and get our through your pre-arranged exit. We'll meet back up later.
|
| Hmph, piece of cake. |
I, Kazan, bid you welcome to the RPG Dueling League, dedicated to the art of pitting the greatest warriors of the RPG Multiverse against each other in honourable combat! Within lies the greatest showcase of fighting talent you will ever lay your eyes upon!