 | In a way, this is kind of impressive.
|
 | Impressive? This disgraceful display?
|
 | zzzZZZ
|
| There are times I wish I could just sleep through anything like that.
|
| Hmph, I've met corpses less slothful then this woman.
|
| ZZZzzz
|
| Heh. Anyway, Odin!
|
 | Yeah?
|
| Got a job for you. Wake this woman up, and keep her awake long enough to take our guests home. Use any means you deem necessary, just try not to break anything I own.
|
| That sounds like a pretty tall order, boss.
|
| I'm sure you can come up with something. And even if you can't it will entertain me to watch you try.
|
| Hmm, okay, I'll get right on that.
|
| I should probably get back inside before Aya tries to start the show without me.
|
| zzzZZZ
|
| *****************Inside the Studio*****************
|
 | Well it's time to start and everyone is here...oh, except for Remilia. How awful. I guess we'll just have to shut and lock the doors and start without her.
|
 | You know she'll just rip the door out of the wall if you do that, right?
|
 | Yeah Aya. You can be pretty dumb sometimes, you know?
|
 | And this coming from a world class idiot.
|
| Hey, you gotta call 'em like you see 'em.
|
| Sorry I'm late ladies. Was trying to wake that worthless yokai up again.
|
| Ah, Remilia...we were just waiting on you. Well, places everyone, let's get this show started!
|
| Heh. Cameras ready.
|
| I suppose I'm ready.
|
| Someone left a really big anti-mess for me to make in the break room, so I should go get started.
|
| So who are we talking to today?
|
| Same people as last week, actually.
|
| What? That's boring.
|
| They call it the post-season week. It's basically the slow week where they get everything ready for the next season. So we get to talk to the champions and losers from the finals again.
|
| There was also something about pools.
|
| Pools? I love swimming!
|
| Wrong kind of pool, Cirno.
|
| Oh.
|
| Anyway, let's go ahead and welcome back our Godlike guests, Myria and Lady.
|
 | Hello again!
|
 | ...
|
| So Myria, this will be your seventh Godlike title, yes?
|
| Absolutely.
|
| Is there anyone else in the league who can measure up to your level of success?
|
| Not really, no. Ghaleon has five titles, and Fou-lu has only three. Though I think he could catch up if he was in more often.
|
| This Fou-lu is strong?
|
| Very. He's my successor as a Breath of Fire final boss, and does justice to the position.
|
| That sounds like high praise indeed. Well, I don't suppose the defeated finalist has anything to say?
|
| ...
|
| That's about what I thought. Well, congratulations on your victory again, Myria.
|
| Thank you. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a victory celebration to attend.
|
| Don't celebrate too hard. You and I still have a little date with the arena, remember?
|
| ...you were actually serious about that?
|
| Oh yes, I'm looking forward to it.
|
| Very well then, I'll have Hrist make the arrangements. I hope you understand what you've gotten yourself into, miss Scarlet.
|
| You're really going to take her on, Remi?
|
| Why not? It'll be a good chance to flex my muscle and it's not like injury and death here actually sticks.
|
| I guess that's a point.
|
| So I noticed we only have one of the Heavy guests booked today?
|
| Yeah, just the champ.
|
| That magnificent doll did win, right?
|
 | Nope, 'fraid not.
|
| What? How could you possibly beat such a perfect doll?
|
| Worker's selling point is magic immunity. I'm pure physical. Do the math.
|
| But...but...
|
| Come on Alice, don't break down on us again.
|
| Alice is breaking? Am I gonna need to make an anti-mess in a minute?
|
| I hope not, entertaining as it would be.
|
| Anyway, on with the interview. Deamoned, you're also from the Breath of Fire series, aren't you?
|
| Yup. Nobody does overpowered bosses like Breath of Fire.
|
| So I hear. Now if I've got this right, you have a chance this week to move out of Heavy and become a Godlike, yes? How do you think your chances of managing that are?
|
| Pretty damn good, I'd say. But my competition isn't exactly stellar, and I already have the one free win from Worker.
|
| Well good luck with that then.
|
| Thanks.
|
| I hope you die slowly and painfully.
|
| ...
|
| ...
|
| So, uh, how about we just move on to Middle, huh?
|
| A wonderful idea. Kresnik, Kyra, welcome back.
|
 | Good to be here.
|
 | Could be better, but I guess I'll make do with just reaching the finals.
|
| Oh look, it's Mr. McBoring and boring-ette.
|
| I take it you didn't enjoy the match.
|
| I left as soon as you started refilling your magic power.
|
| Huh, you didn't stay that long then.
|
| I think I would have started scratching obscene pictures into my own eyeballs if I'd had to watch that any longer.
|
| But that would hurt though.
|
| And somehow, it still would have been more fun.
|
| Some people just have no taste. There's nothing better then a good long resource war.
|
| So long as you're on the winning end of it, sure.
|
| I'm always on the winning end of those.
|
| You seem to get along fairly well for people who just finished fighting.
|
| Well there was never anything personal about it anyway.
|
| I try not to let it get personal in the arena. I've got plenty to stress about in my normal life.
|
| Like what?
|
| Well, for starters there's my sister. And that little Jude brat she's so fond of. I tell you, that kid...
|
| Oh god don't let him get started.
|
| Hey, this are some legitiamate issues here. Anyway, this Jude kid keeps...ack...argh...can't...breathe...ugh...
|
| Sorry, I just remembered that I'm being paid to be violent and I haven't gotten around to that yet today. This seemed like as good a time as any.
|
| Woah, his face is turning purple.
|
| I guess that's one way to stop the emo rant, sure. Mind if I cut out before she decides there's more violence needed?
|
| Um, yeah, go ahead. And Remi, could you put him down somewhere please? I don't want you to scare off the rest of our guests.
|
| Sure thing.
|
| *CRASH*
|
| Well, I guess 'out the window' counts as somewhere, sure.
|
 | Different cast, same property damage.
|
| Oh man, that's gonna be a tough anti-mess. I need to find a spare window somewhere.
|
 | I see the idiot is still here.
|
| Of course! I'm really good at this job!
|
| Does that joke ever get old?
|
| Not really.
|
| Welcome back, Gijimu and Porom. Gijimu, congratulations on your victory.
|
| Many thanks. Wasn't sure I was going to pull it off for a bit, but I managed it in the end.
|
| At least I lost quick, unlike Kyra.
|
| So Gijimu, how did you manage it?
|
| Well, I basically hit her in the face really hard with an axe before she could cast anything.
|
| Turns out that all the white magic in the world won't save you if you're slow and take hits like a schoolgirl.
|
| At least you have the excuse of *being* a little girl. Your brother's just as frail, so I'd like to hear his excuse.
|
| Hehehe.
|
| Over in one blow? I can respect that.
|
| Let's just hope it can keep doing the trick for me in Middle.
|
| On that note, if the big losers from every other division risk downgrading, what happens to the big losers in Light?
|
| Usually they throw a party.
|
| ...a party?
|
| Well if I were a big loser in the weakest division there is, I'd want an excuse to drink alot too.
|
| Bingo.
|
| I see.
|
| Well, good luck to you both. If you manage to upgrade I'll be waiting for an interview!
|
| Thanks. Since I lost the finals, I'll really need to focus to pull myself up. Since if I don't my idiot brother will never let me hear the end of it.
|
| Can't you just turn him into a frog or something?
|
| No, that's his spell. And it wouldn't help anyway. Frogs can still talk where we're from.
|
| So, I guess we're pretty much done here?
|
| Yes...uh, you're not going to try to hurt me again, are you?
|
| Nah, I've got a more important fight to prepare for. Wish me luck, girls.
|
| She's really going through with it.
|
| Seems like.
|
| I've got twenty on that Myria girl.
|
| No bet.
|
| You know what, you're on! Remilia won't lose that easy!
|
| I'm just glad she's going after someone else... |
I, Kazan, bid you welcome to the RPG Dueling League, dedicated to the art of pitting the greatest warriors of the RPG Multiverse against each other in honourable combat! Within lies the greatest showcase of fighting talent you will ever lay your eyes upon!