 | Man, is it week 3 already?
|
 | Looks like. That week off sure was nice though.
|
 | So was cutting my payroll costs in half.
|
 | Hey, I didn't get a week off! I had to stand in the studio all week just to let people know we'd be back this week!
|
 | Yeah, yeah, the goons are lazy, Nate's greedy and Odin is a buttmonkey. I think this is all well established by now.
|
| We're just making sure everyone knows that even though the schedule has changed we're still the same old cast.
|
| Though with the way we reuse the same old gags over and over again, they'd have to be pretty stupid to not figure that one out by now.
|
| Well we ARE talking about people who willingly watch this show here.
|
| Hey, don't talk about my customer base like that.
|
| And my point only becomes more and more clear.
|
| So we should probably get to work or something now, right? Though I don't see Morte anywhere, should we wait for him?
|
| Nah, he took the week off. Said that since Odin didn't get to enjoy a week off last week, Morte would enjoy it for him this week.
|
| Really? That's sure nice of him.
|
| ...yeah, just start the show.
|
| That's probably for the best. Alright, introducing two of the potential semi-finalists from Godlike, we have the always electrifying Jade and the master of time, space and most things in between, Timelord.
|
 | Meh.
|
 | Actually I'm just the master of time. Space is someone else's department entirely.
|
| Yeah, well the two are traditionally strung together like that in science fiction. It's just an introduction thing.
|
| Yes well that's science fiction. I'm from SaGa Frontier, which is an entirely different thing.
|
| What are you babbling about? Your game has rocket ships and lasers all over the place, it is most certainly science fiction.
|
| Rockets and lasers alone do not science fiction make.
|
| Yeah, I'm calling bullshit on that one.
|
| Science fiction, by definition, is about the effects of technology upon civilization. SaGa Frontier cares nothing for this.
|
| So what IS it about then?
|
| SaGa Frontier is clearly about the effects of an obtuse and confusing battle system upon the fragile psyches of Squaresoft fanboys.
|
| Well wouldn't that battle system serve as technology impacting life?
|
| It would, except there is sadly nothing fictional about the fanboys in question.
|
| Is it 'insult your viewers' day around here and nobody told me or something?
|
| We're supposed to wait for special occasions to insult people? Why do I get insulted every day then?
|
| Because every day is insult Odin day. Duh.
|
| I'm always surprised that divinity would put up with the kind of crap he gets around here.
|
| We're RPG characters. Gods are nothing special around here. At least not unless they're as strong as folks like Fou-Lu and Myria.
|
| Which Odin is most certainly not.
|
| Bingo. Anyway, Jade, any thoughts on your match with Zophar coming up?
|
| BoltX? Hope that kills him before he kills me?
|
| Isn't that your strategy for everything?
|
| Your point?
|
| So what happens when it doesn't work?
|
| Then I lose a fight.
|
| So don't you think you should try to have some other options going on then?
|
| Remind me just which of us has the Godlike title to lend weight to their preferred fighting style here?
|
| ...uh...
|
| And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what we refer to as being owned. Well, I think that's enough time spent on Godlike, and I wish you two good luck at making the finals.
|
| Hmph.
|
| That would be a nice change of pace, yes.
|
| Alright, I'm taking a coffee break. Ultros, you handle Heavy.
|
| Sure thing. Everyone put your hands, or whatever you use instead, together for DL newcomer and queen of kicking Chie Satonaka, as well as my fellow Final Fantasy boss, though of the Tactics variety, the assassin Lede!
|
 | Queen of kicking? I like that.
|
 | Hello.
|
| So Chie, how are you lik...
|
| So you're an assassin? Are you a ninja or something, y'know with all the kung-fu and the crazy moves and stuff?
|
| Uh, I use ninja swords and can kill with a touch. Does that count?
|
| Hey, I'll cover this all in the intervi...
|
| That totally counts! Well, I mean it does if you can actually use those swords well. Yosuke uses ninja swords too but he kinda sucks with them. I mean, I could definitely take him out, right?
|
| I don't really know him, so I couldn't say.
|
| Can I please get some interviewing in he...
|
| So anyway you've been like a Heavy champion before, right? That's so awesome, I'm totally hyped to be in the same season as a champion! I mean I'm totally hyped about just being here at all, and getting to be in Heavy as well is just a huge honor, makes me feel like one of the elites, y'know?
|
| Uh, thanks I guess. And isn't your leader in Godlike?
|
| ...forget it, Heavy can interview itself.
|
| Well sure, but he's special. None of us are on HIS level at all, so I'm not upset or anything at being ranked lower, that's just kind of obvious.
|
| Heh, you seem to respect your leader alot. I can understand that.
|
| Yeah, he's a great guy. Anyway I'm totally looking forward to fighting you the finals! I hope I make it that far. I mean, I better make it that far to make up for that stupid bear losing in round one. What did he think he was doing, making the whole team look bad like that, gah!
|
| You do realize that you'd be an easy win for me, right?
|
| Well, maybe, I guess. But I can still try, right? And hey, do you think you could teach me that death touch move? Or maybe some kind of super paralyzing punch? That would be so awesome to know, y'know? Well, of course you know, you're like a ninja assassin, you know all about this stuff.
|
| Uh, probably not. But who knows, maybe I'll try anyway.
|
| That would be so great. Anyway I should probably get going, so I'll hope to see you in the finals! Good luck!
|
| Sure, good luck to you too.
|
| So am I allowed to talk now? Yeesh, some people. So before you go, anything you want to say about your fight, Lede?
|
| This week's a PC.
|
| Yeah, not much else to be said about that for you, is there?
|
| No. Though I may fight Kary next week. That could be entertaining. And possibly even challenging.
|
| Well, you have fun with that.
|
| Alright, did I miss anything important?
|
| Just yet another female PC being an obnoxious twit.
|
| You trying to imply something there, fishbait?
|
| ...just that I keep thinking you have a boss form somewhere. That and it's time for my coffee break. Yoink!
|
| Boss form Chisato? That would be frightening.
|
| Come on, you know you'd like it.
|
| No comment. Anyway, shouldn't we get middle out here?
|
| Probably, yeah. So who have we got here, Axl and Yulie?
|
 | Hey, how come we didn't get a cool introduction?
|
 | Middle is usually when they stop caring about doing their jobs right.
|
| Usually. Either then or right before Godlike.
|
| Don't you open the show with Godlike?
|
| We do. And the two may just be connected somehow.
|
| I'll just have to upgrade so you'll care about me sometimes, then!
|
| Somebody sets his goals low.
|
| And yet still thoroughly unattainable.
|
| Hey, when you have to compete against X and Zero all the time, you learn not to bother aiming very high.
|
| That sounds pretty sad.
|
| Eh, it's not so bad. I mean, while I'm here in Middle I have the chance to beat a maverick that X and Zero are ranked too high to fight.
|
| Huh? I didn't think we ranked any bosses from your game.
|
| Oh, not from Command Mission. There's apparently some maverick running around from another game. Even has the gall to put the word maverick right there in his name.
|
| ...
|
| Haven't figured out what kind of creature a "Jude" is yet, though. I've got a bet with Massimo that it's some kind of bug.
|
| Uh, I don't know how to tell you this, but...
|
| If you touch him I will rip your face off.
|
| Huh?
|
| Yeah, see, Jude isn't a maverick. That's just his last name. He's a human.
|
| Not to mention Yulie's boyfriend.
|
| With your own dismembered hand.
|
| Um, oops? Sorry?
|
| They will never find your body.
|
| ...
|
| Ever.
|
| She's actually a sweet girl, really.
|
| Just don't threaten her boyfriend.
|
| Okay, so I'm just gonna walk away slowly and go warm up for my fight with some Brigandine scrub who is definitely NOT her boyfriend.
|
| ...
|
| Well that takes care of him. Gotta hand it to you girl, you make a great scary psycho witch when you put your mind to it.
|
| Really? Thank you!
|
| ...don't tell me you've been practicing that.
|
| Well, everyone says I need to be more assertive...
|
| And you're doing fine. Keep it up, girl.
|
| You women terrify me.
|
| Which might explain why you don't have a girlfriend. Anyway, good luck with your fights.
|
| Thank you!
|
| Alright, what kind of lameness do we have to deal with from Light this time?
|
| Looks like...oh great. Chu-Chu and Laguna.
|
 | Chu!
|
 | Howdy.
|
| I think I need a stiff drink just looking at you two. Who invited these headaches anyway?
|
| Odin.
|
| Hey, if Morte's out on my vacation then I must be doing his work this week. Blame him.
|
| ...that logic is horrible.
|
| And yet I think I'm buying it anyway. The skull has alot of nerve weaseling an extra week of vacation for himself.
|
| So, are we going to be interviewed?
|
| Sure, why not. Odin, you handle this.
|
| Me?
|
| Why don't we just have him close out the show while we're at it and leave early?
|
| Wonderful idea. The show's yours, Moppy.
|
| Okay. Uh...
|
| Chuuuu, come on and ask us questions already!
|
| Er, uh, but I didn't have any time to prepare! I'm not good at this off the cuff stuff!
|
| I could give you some pointers, maybe?
|
| Really?
|
| Sure. Pretty much all I ever do is pull it outta my...er, improvise.
|
| But you have to at least ask us SOMETHING now!
|
| Okay, okay. Uh, I got one. Do you two like hot dogs?
|
| What kind of a question is that?
|
| Come on, give the guy a break. And sure thing, I love 'em.
|
| Chuuu. Fine, I guess I like them.
|
| Okay so since I can't think of any other questions how about I buy you some hotdogs and we pretend I interviewed you?
|
| See, you're improvising already! We'll have you doing it like a pro in no time.
|
| Blah, I wanted my fifteen minutes of fame with a real interview.
|
| Sorry.
|
| Come on, Chu-Chu, cut him some slack here. He's just the janitor.
|
| Chu. Fine. But I want two hotdogs. With all the toppings.
|
| No problem. Uh, wait I have to close the show out first. Okay, so that's it for Week 3 and 4 from Behind the Scenes. Tune back in on week 5 to see interviews with all your favorite finalists!
|
| They're the only finalists.
|
| So they're the favorites by default. It's all in the spin.
|
| ...
|
| Have a good couple weeks all, and don't forget to vote! |
I, Kazan, bid you welcome to the RPG Dueling League, dedicated to the art of pitting the greatest warriors of the RPG Multiverse against each other in honourable combat! Within lies the greatest showcase of fighting talent you will ever lay your eyes upon!