Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Merry Kwanza...Happy Holidays in general, dear readers! It's Christmas Eve here at the RPGDL, but we don't take holidays here: we're always working to bring you the best in RPG entertainment each week, for your enjoyment. So sit back, relax, and get ready to enjoy some our our Christmas spirit! First off, head on over to Last Week's Results Page, and check out who lost out in the semi-finals. Was Speed Racer able to overcome the Eternal Darkness? Was Lede able to assassinate the arch-fiend Rubicante? Was Raven able to crack the mighty trash can Ershin's hardened armour? And was Lyonesse able to handle the might of an axe to the face? All these results, and more, are awaiting you, dear readers, if only you'll check them out! Then, with last week's results all finalized, head on over to The Main Event, and check out the Arena pages for the Season Fourteen Finals! In the Light finals this week, Queen Lyonesse of Leonia finds herself facing perhaps her most daunting foe yet. Oh sure, he's just an overgrown cream puff, but looks can be quite conceiving: a wrong move on her part could end up causing some shocking results! In Middle, Lyndis, the sole survivor of the Fire Emblem invasion, has finally reached the end of a long chain of tough battles. Now, her last fight rest upon one question: can she trash a trash can? In Heavy, Ultros, famed cameraman and octopus royalty, has risen to the top of the Heavy crowd. Of course, he still has one match to go, and this could be the one fight he can't win: can anyone say "Seafood Soup"? And finally, in Godlike, Yuna, High Summoner of Spira, has made her way to the coveted finals, after many set-backs in seasons past. All she has to do is overcome the impossible: defeat the Eternal Darkness itself. Will she triumph where others have failed? All this, and a spectacular new bonus match, await you inside, dear readers! Aha, but there's more! Go take a look at The RPG Strategy League, and see what's going on in the World of Balance this week. The civil war raging in Nikeah has devastated the city, as Kefka and Yuber's forces continue to clash. However, the sudden opening of the X-Zone, and the arrival of hordes of deadly beasts starting to descend on the city, now trap the innocent civilians in a malicious trap that looks impossible to escape. Out of the frying pan, and into the fire, as some would say. Meanwhile, in Thamasa, Locke, Celes and company have gained the trust of the locals, and are now guided by Strago Magus to the possible location of the Espers. Will they find what they seek? And finally, what became of the sole messenger, slowly flying towards the embattled city of Nikeah, holding a message of great import? Has it fallen into the wrong hands? Or perhaps, has it fallen into the right hands after all... And as always, we'd appreciate it if you stopped by the RPGDL Forums, and registered an account. Come on: it only takes a couple seconds. Once you've done that, you can take part in any discussion, debate, or general chatter you feel like. Don't be a nobody: get involved! And, as always, Chisato Madison is ready to present to you another episode of Behind the Scenes, now hosted by the Nanjo Corporation, channel 27: Hark the herald angels si-ing! Glory to the newborn ki-ouch! Hey, stop…ouch! Keep ‘em coming! The singing will stop if we give her a concussion! I’m pretty certain this isn’t very Christmas-y. You know, you’re right. Stop throwing rocks: toss the plastic Santas instead! Ahhhh! Stop it, stop it! There, she’s leaving! Score one for team BtS! She’s gone? Yep. I think being pelted with Santa effigies finally did it. Good, we can start then. God, I hate Christmas carolers. Oh, come on, Chisato. Where’s your Christmas spirit? Bah! Humbug! Alright, raise your hand if you didn’t see that one coming. Uh… Ok, let me rephrase that: raise your hand if you didn’t see that one coming, and your name isn’t Odin. Damn. Right then. Welcome back to Behind the Scenes, dear followers of the RPGDL. This week, we present to you the DL’s first ever Christmas episode of Behind the Scenes, an idea brought to you by our new owner and financer, Nate Nanjo. Now, instead of our usual interviews, we have a new plan. Every guest tonight, as well as the staff, has undoubtedly received some Christmas cards, presents, and what have you. So, on tonight’s show, we’re going to watch our guests’ faces light up with joy… …or preferably, terror… …as they open their gifts and cards. So, let’s get started. Bring out the Light members, Lyonesse and Mallow! You heard ‘em, Moppy. Right, right. Presenting…queen of Leonia, clerical wonder and 2nd most renowned magus on the continent of Forsena, as well as Light finalist, please welcome Queen Lyonesse. Hello. And joining her, her opponent, son of the Stay-Puffed Marshmallow Man himself, the one, the only, fake-frog-cloud-prince-thing Mallow! Hi! I think Odin may be enjoying his new job a little too much. Shouldn’t he be cleaning the bathrooms, like he used to? Mr. Nanjo hired someone else to do that. Odin got a lucky break. Lucky break? Hah! Not really. Whenever I go in the women’s bathroom now, they scream and throw me out. At least when I was janitor, I had an actual excuse. Odin, you disgust me in ways I can’t even describe with words. Sit down. Now, Lyonesse, what’s the most important thing about Christmas? The most important thing about Christmas is to remember how important the ties that bond the family together are. It’s very important to realize that all you really have to rely on… Bzzzzzt! Wrong! Wrong? What do you meeeeeeeeaaaaaaaannnnnnnnn! Silly queen. The true meaning of Christmas is measured by how many presents you get. You know, your ratings. So, speaking of ratings, Mallow, you’re up next. I see you got a greeting card in your…hands, let’s call them. Can we read it? Uh…I’d rather I read it myself… Hey kid, quick piece of advice: that wasn’t a question, it was a demand. Indeed, so let’s have it. Alright, let’s see what it says. Awww….it’s got a cute little cloud outline and everything. So cute…hey Odin, why don’t you read it? Ok. Let’s see: “Dear son, we have something very important to tell you. We’ve been celebrating Christmas for several years now, but we feel it’s time for you to be told the truth: we’re Jewish. And Chanukah is over. No more presents. Good luck in your finals match. Love, Mom and Dad Nimbus” Oooohhhh. Here’s the part where the kid cries. Get the umbrellas out! *sniff* No…I’m strong. I won’t cry! …well, grah. That kind of ruins the fun of this, doesn’t it? Yeah, it kind of does. So…let’s call out our two Middle guests. Odin, introduce Lyn and Ershin. Alright! First up from Middle, we have… On second thought, no introductions. Just bring them out. Not much fanfare for the Middle finalists, I see. Ershin feels that Ershin is being underappreciated with this lack a proper welcoming procession. Get used to it, ya’ walking trash can. Ershin says that you should be nicer to Ershin, if you know what’s good for you. Yeah! It’s still Christmas, even if some of us don’t actually celebrate it anymore. Ershin says that Christmas is a waste of time and energy that would best be spent doing something productive. Hey, if you say that, Santa won’t visit you! I mean…you do want presents, don’t you? Ershin says that Santa is not real. He’s a made-up figment to appease young children. But…but… Ok, now’s the time to break out the umbrellas. Ershin demands you stop crying before….Ersh…in…ru…st….s…. Well, that turned out being fairly useful. I’ll say. It saved us air fare on launching the trash can to the moon. Do they really charge for that? Oh, yeah. It’s something like 100,000 gil per launch. With the way Chisato launches guests on this show, the bill ends up getting pretty large after a while. Yes, it does. But you know what’s worse? When we spend half the time we’ve got going back and forth with random conversations that don’t pertain to the show. Like, kind of what we’re doing now. Back on topic: Lyn, you’re from Fire Emblem, a game where you can end up pairing people off with just about anyone. Who do you most want to spend Christmas with, Lyndis? Well, there’s Eliwood, whose got the father’s honour thing going for him. Such a turn-on. But Hector’s far more of a man, which is a turn-on in itself. But then there’s… Wow, she’s starting to sound like she’s got you beat, Chisato. Excuse me? What was that? Just an off-the-wall comment about your personal life, Chisato. The usual. …right then. …but you know, out of those twenty or so people I’ve gone through, the one I’d most want to spend Christmas with is Florina, my closest and dearest friend. Hehehehehe. Now that’s interesting. Oh yeah! Ok, stop it, kids. Thank you Lyn. May you enjoy this Christmas with whomever you decide to spend it with. Pick the chick! ...on to Heavy’s guests, now. Rubicante, come on out! Greetings, dear reporter. It’s respectable to see you working so hard, even when others are slacking, as the holidays approach. Why thank you. It’s nice to see someone around here appreciates my hard work and dedication to this show. You know, I think people might respect you more if you wwwwwwwhhhhhaaaaaa!!! Er…you didn’t let him finish. He might have had something important to say. Hey, seafood delicacy: this is Odin we’re talking about. Ooooohhhh. Good point. Anyway: Rubicante, you’re one of the Four Elemental Fiends. Do you still celebrate Christmas, even though it doesn’t seem like it’s in your nature to appreciate a holiday of joy and giving? Oh, you didn’t know? Know what? In the same manner that demons, vampires and other beasts take Halloween off, all villains take Christmas off in the reigns of terror. The good guys need at least one day of rest. Fascinating. So, you’re saying that any fire that might occur on Christmas aren’t your doing at all? Of course not. It’s my day off…plus, it’s not nice to burn people’s houses down on Christmas. You really are a very honourable villain. Thank you, my dear. Not a problem. Now, let’s finish this out with… Hey, Chisato, it looks like you got a Christmas card of your own. Darned if I know who would actually send you one, though. It sure wasn’t me. Hm…whose it from? Well, let’s find out: “Dearest Chisato, how are you doing on this fine night? Know that I always think of you…” Ewwww…love letter. ”…whenever I get a chance. I think of you…and how I’m going to rip your head off and eat your flesh….how I’ll pierce your heart with my sword…how I’ll…” And it just goes on and on. Any ideas, Chisato? It’s not signed. Ah, my good friend Agrias. Been so long since I heard from her. Hey Rubicante, it’s not Christmas yet: wanna’ scorch another Final Fantasy Tactics character? Sure, why not. Cool. Go ask Gilgamesh, my secretary, for her address. Best wishes for a safe and happy holiday. The same to you, my dear. Why can’t all my guests be like that? Anyway, now let’s finish this show, by bringing out Lady Yuna, the Summoner of Spira, and Necron, the Eternal Darkness. Hi there! Argh! My ears! She’s using her Final Fantasy X-2 quotes! Indeed. Yuna, it’s Christmas: would you mind not reminding us of that horribly fiasco? Oh, sorry. There we go. So Yuna, have any ideas as to what you’re getting for Christmas? Oh…I think I’m getting…a…new rod. It looks…so much…longer than my last one. … I’m not touching that. Nope, me neither. Necron, I understand you have a special connection to the Christmas season. Yes! This season shall be the most spectacular ever! For not only shall I take a Godlike championship, but I will also take my rightful place as the new Santa! Hohohohohohohohohohohohohoho! …I think I’m speechless. Yeah, prime evil taking the place of the poster-child of happiness and giving? Well, I suppose it’s ironic in a way. Oh? Yeah. If he rids us of Yuna and wins a championship, I know a lot of people who’ll be able to sleep much easier at night. So, in a way, by killing someone, he’s making many more happy. A fair trade, I think. Well, I guess I see your point. Best of luck, Necron. Make us all proud. But…isn’t he…the…epitome of…evil? Oh come on: who else would you expect Chisato to root for? Indeed. And with that, it’s time to say goodnight for tonight’s Behind the Scenes episode. So, for our goodbyes… Merry Christmas! Hohohohohohohoho! Happy Chanukah! Don’t forget Kwanza, foo’! And remember, the true meaning of holiday spirit is ratings. From everyone here at Behind the Scenes and the RPGDL, have a happy and safe holiday. We’ll see you next week.