 | This is behind the scenes with your lord and master, Dryst. I'll be filling in for Chisato this week, in what's sure to be an amusing show for all. Of course, you're all wondering why I'm doing this. Simple, really. I wanted to do it. That's not enough? Eh? Fine. Albedo, roll the footage from eariler.
|
|
 | It's been a long season. With idiots abound and skulls to kick around, I've near the end of my rope. Hence, I'm going on a vacation this week.
|
 | Huh. Not like you do a lot of work, or anything..
|
| I'd suggest shutting up before I throw you to Necron. Ah, there it is! My replacement this week is someone named... Dryst. Huh.
|
 | Huh, Dryst. Pretty cool.
|
| Awesome. We all got the week off! Except for you, Morte. Stay here and clean up while the rest of us hit the beach.
|
| *Grumble* Why me?
|
| Because you'll probably bleach if left out in the sun, and I don't trust Odin to run things himself. Also, Gilgamesh would use you as a volleyball.
|
| Fine, fine. Sheesh. Might as well meet this fool who's replacing the old wench.
|
| Bow to your new master, skullboy. The name's Dryst. Be grateful that I deign to bother with you lower lifeforms enough to do this.
|
| He's arrogant, has no sense of style, and likes to set things on fire. No wonder he got the job. How'd you talk Nate into letting you do it, Hatboy?
|
| The secret is knowing your enemies's weakness. Right, Nate?
|
 | ..Yes, yes. Just keep that damned black spear away from me, and try not to burn down the set.
|
| Heh heh heh. Good work, Iria.
|
 | ...
|
|
| Entertained? Of course you were. Time to show you the new and improved BtS crew. Ya'll know Morte the beachball. Working the cameras this week is Albedo, a personal friend of mine.
|
 | Hehhehehe. Will Ma Peche be around?
|
| And of course, no BtS set would be complete without a useless white haired blowhard mopping things up. I can think of no one better than Vaynard to do this task.
|
 | I, the White Wolf of Norgard, shall not long tolerate these insults. Forsena, and the world shall be mine. No challenge shall long stand before my might. The world will know a ruler, a ruler who puts.. *sizzle*
|
| And of course, Iria's around to make sure no one acts up. Say hi, Iria.
|
| ...
|
| Anyway, on with the show! Our first guests this week are light finalists Meredy and some useless suit of armor.
|
 | I am not useless. I've been to the light finals before, and am one of Lenneth's loyal Einherjar.
|
| You're a walking suit of rusty armor, with one of the most laughable PWS's in existance. You've been rated less useful than an average Valkyrie Profile mage, which is an impressive failing. Go do something useful, like beat up Vaynard.
|
| I'm not useless. I'm about to win, which is more than you can say with that 0-1 record!
|
| Prove that you're a winner then. Teach Vaynard some manners.
|
| Wa...wait... damn, stop that! *Thud*
|
| Ehehehehehe. I admit to being slightly impressed, but I don't think winning light will be as easy as beating on Vaynard. Time for our next guest. Some.. thing that managed to beat Cai.
|
 | I no like being insulted. Name is Meredy.
|
| Mmm? A little girl. Albedo, want to do this interview?
|
| A.. Ma Peche. Her skin is radiant, her eyes burn with the fire of a thousand suns. Come here, Ma Peche!
|
| Hweel! You a bad man! Stay away!
|
| Don't run, my love! Embrace me!
|
| Destiny!
|
| That hurt, Ma Peche! I can withstand any pain to gain your love, though!
|
| Help! That was Meredy's best move!
|
| Heh heh heh. You can't kill a godlike champion with one move like that, no matter how pathetic they are. Not everyone rolls over and dies like Cai. Iria, take over the camera? It appears Albedo will be busy.
|
| ...
|
| Evil, cruel, and amusing. He's an improved Chisato!
|
| Nice for you to notice, skull boy. Our next guests hail from middle. Yuffie and Izlude, come out and meet your master.
|
| Bad touch! Bad touch!
|
| Ignore that. So Yuffie. What do you plan on doing this match? Izlude's immune to your thieving ways, and we all know you can't win without your prized Conformer. You're pathetic.
|
 | Hey! I saw what you did to Meredy. How can you do that? And no one's immune to my incredible thieving skills!
|
| *Yawn.* You bore me, little girl. Morte, do the honors?
|
| I get to torment the guests and push the launch button? I really like this guy.*Press*
|
| Heyyyyyyyyy! I hate flying!
|
| At least you didn't have to pay for a ticket. Izlude, frankly, you bore me. Awash in darkness, an honorable foe.. don't you have something better to do with your life?
|
 | I resent that! The Shrine Knights are based on honor and justice. How dare a lowly royal insult that!
|
| Urk..yeah. Lowly is what he is.
|
| Don't try and launch me, either. I've mastered the art of air warfare, so your puny spring traps fail to threaten me.
|
| Mmm. Did you know Vaynard has the ultimate blinding attack? One so great, that even giants tremble at it's mention!
|
| ..Chief, I thought giants in your world couldn't hit the broad side of Brahne..
|
| I am in posession of the Fog spell. No one can hit me, after casting this spell. It's accuracy is matchless!
|
| You let the idiot with the mop speak?
|
| Wasn't Vaynard wanting to smite Dryst a mintue ago? That boy isn't right.
|
| Idiot? Boy? I'm the White Wolf of Norgard. Rising star of Forsena, and greatest general to ever live!
|
| ...Yep, idiot.
|
| ..Your insults shall not be tolerated! Fog!
|
| Impressive. Your little spell worked. Did you forget...
|
| Arg!
|
| ..That I have perfect accuracy?
|
| The sweet sound of Vaynard suffering. I shall never tire of it. Time for our next guests. Lady Cecelia and some girl with an eyepatch.
|
 | Lord Dryst! So lovely to see you again. It's been too long.
|
| Wait.. you two know each other? And haven't tried to kill or invade the other's country?
|
| Of course. Lord Dryst nominated me for monarch of the year for the last three years in a row.
|
| ..Didn't you leave your country to wander with a bunch of strange men? Wait, never mind. I don't want to know.
|
| My dear, we all know you're going to win Heavy and upgrade. What do you plan to do with your share of the prize money?
|
| Set up a youth program for mages. It's hard learning how to set fire to your enemies and create matter out of pure energy. Also, most mages have no sense of style. With a little assistance from my program, even a complete loser can look great when calling upon the dark gods!
|
| Interesting. Thanks for that tidbit. Now, onto Godlike..
|
 | Hey, what about me? I deserve a chance to speak.
|
| Small fry. They never learn, do they? Morte? Drag the wench out.
|
| Now he's letting me paw the guests? Incredible. Who cares about Chisato?
|
| Hey.. HEY! Put me down! Watch the hair!
|
| And of course, we have to bring out the two that might almost be a threat to me. Piastol and Jade, come out.
|
 | Hi.
|
 | You all might know me from eariler BtS promos. Name's Jade, and I'm your next Godlike champion. Now I know you're wowed by my awesome variety and incredible moveset. Try not to worship too much.
|
| Heh heh heh. Amusing, but foolish.
|
| Fool. How dare you insult me! I'm your next Godlike champion! Bow now, before you feel my wrath!
|
| Cecilia, just look into the camera and smile. Give the fans something to look at while I teach this moron not to insult his betters.
|
| Ha, what can a puny human like you do? Hey...HEY! Put that down! OW! That's not supposed to bend! My kidney! ARG! *Thud*
|
| I didn't know one could literally force a foot... there. Ouch. Might as well do something while I'm here. Miss Piastol, looks like the show is wrapping up. Any last thoughts? This will be your last match for a long time, win or lose.
|
| Nope. Just enjoying watching Jade get wailed on.
|
| As am I.
|
| Chisato? You're back?
|
| Yep. Had to return early. Odin apparently forgot to bring sunscreen and had to get medical treatment for a severe sunburn. Gilgamesh broke down and cried when his sandcastle got kicked over, and Ultros got ran over by a fishing boat.
|
 | That's because you kicked over the castle and bribed the captain to run over Ultros. Not to mention not sharing the sunscreen you brought.. OW! Don't hit my sunburn.. *whimper*
|
| From the looks of things outside, Morte's had fun. Studio isn't a wreck, and it looks like Dryst tormented several guests for no good reason. I approve.
|
| Heh heh heh. So much for that bug. Ah, Miss Chisato. Nice to see you've returned. I'll take my leave. Kicking that loser's butt took a slight amount of energy. Oh.. you might want to have a word with Morte. He seems to like calling you an old wench.
|
| Does he, now? Ultros, get back on the camera. Odin, take back your mop.
|
 | Right, boss.
|
| Who's the loser with the white hair clutching the mop? Looks like everyone's been beating on him. Hey, that's my job! Give it back!. *Smash*
|
| ..Pain..unbearable..must....go..on..
|
| And don't touch my mop again!
|
| And now I've seen it all. Odin just owned someone. Might as well end the show on that shocking note, since I need to go wash the sand out of my hair, and go teach Morte some respect. I'm Chisato Madison, signing off for now.
|
| Come closer, Ma Peche. Don't leave so soon!
|
| Hweeelllllllllllllllll! |
Heh heh heh. You've returned, loyal minions. Things are going to be a bit different this week without Nate or that fool Gordon around. I, Dryst, greatest of all generals, shall take time to show you what lies ahead in this week's RPGDL. Come on and see all those who bow to me!