Hark, Defenders of Earth! I, Captain Gordon Defender of Earth, am pleased to bring you the RPGDL: Season Eighteen, ready for your viewing pleasure! Come now, and enjoy the fruits of our labour! First off, let's tie up some loose ends, shall we dear readers? The Aftermath of Season Seventeen should be your first stop today. I'm sure you're dying to find out if Worker 8 downgraded to Middle, or if Cecilia finally made her way up to Godlike. Well, don't just stand there: head on over! With that done, check out The Arena for Season Eighteen's first week! Down in Light, the aged knight Marcus stands ready to defend the honour of Pherae. Will his skill and experience prove to be superior to his foe's penchant for burning things? In the devoted division of Middle, the Defender of Filgaia Gallows faces off against a dwarf...with a shovel! What horrors will these two wreck on each other, as shotgun shells meet cheap aluminum? In Heavy, the star of Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter makes her way back to the arena, this time bent on gaining the respect she needs to bring her comrades into the DL itself! Will she find success against the pyromaniacal fiend Decus? And in Godlike, our top division, the original 8-bit monstrosity makes his presence known! Chaos, the absence of order, faces off against Magus, the dark wizard exraordinaire. Who will escpae this legendary battle alive? And don't forget to visit the RPGDL Forums! Enjoy heart-warming conversations with like-minded people, or take part in fierce debates, where only your wits and instincts will get you out alive! Don't delay: there's so much in store! Now, please welcome Chisato Madison, celebrating twelve seasons of quality entertainment, here only at the RPGDL: Twelve seasons. It sure hasn’t felt that long. This calls for some sort of celebration? Don’t you normally just celebrate after multiples of ten, and not twelve, years? Poor Gilgamesh…you’ve not been around long enough to realize it, but here at Behind the Scenes, we never do things normally. That’s about the size of it. In celebration of today, there’ll be no pain handed out to my crew members and co-hosts. Yay! Hallelujah! There is a god! Wait, I’m a god! Hooray for me! So that’s it, chief? No pain, no anger? Just good old times with us making fun of the guests? Yep. And since you mentioned it…Gilgamesh, call them out! Ok. First up is the ever boring Light division. Let’s welcome Cray and Marcus! Well met, my lords. Yes, hello. Mmm…I’ll start with Cray. Tell me, Cray, what your weapon actually is. It looks to me like it’s nothing more than a giant piece of wood. Why would a cat like yourself be carrying around a giant club equivalent? Other members in your series are…well, usually more skilled with more elegant weapons. Your thoughts? It’s called a bat. It’s a large weapon designed for clubbing things. A bat you say? Big fan of baseball? Baseba…oh, of course, yes, I am. Ok then: Orioles or Red Sox? Uh…Orioles? Wrong answer! And the first of many launchings for the knight. Anyway, Marcus, how does it feel to the more respected Marcus in Light? People were gunning for a Marcus vs. Marcus match, but it looks like only one will make it through to the next round. Whatever Lord Eliwood needs, I will do my best to help him achieve. My respect lies in my devotion to the cause, and my homeland. I am devoted and dedicated to my mission, whatever it may be. Mmmm…can’t think of anything launchable. You’re free to go. Well, half the guests have escaped punishment so far…but will the rest? Let’s find out how our Middle guests fare! Let’s check out the gorgeous Rena Lanford and Philia Felice! Gorgeous? Really? …alright, Odin, your time is up. But…I haven’t done anything yet?! That’s exactly why you’re done. Pre-emptive strike. And hey, look on the bright side: at least you’re not getting launched! Eh, I guess you’re right. Besides, the next two divisions are far more interesting. Please welcome Lin, Shu! Hello. Hi. Welcome. Now, both of you have massive histories here. Lin, you’re vital to the movement to rank Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter. What exactly do you need for that to happen? Enough support. A win over Decus wouldn’t hurt either. What kind of support are we talking about here? I need to show enough interest from the audience. That’s about it. So there you have it folks – get interested, get ranked. Now Shu, you’re popular here for a different reason. It took you seventeen seasons to finally get your shot, despite being nominated every season. What’s it like? It’s not too bad, I must say. A ninja with a gun finally getting the respect he deserves is a wonderful thing. You do realize people only nominated you so you could downgrade. I..what?! Yep, you only got nominated because you suck. How does that feel, Mr. Ninja-with-a-gun? It…it’s…so… Well, you’ve seen it here first, kiddies: the first ninja to ever cry. This episode will make millions! Indeed it will. And last but not least, let’s bring out the Godlikes, Cecilia and Chaos! Well Cecilia…congratulations. You’ve made it to Godlike. What’s next on your agenda? Probably see how far I can go in my new division, then relax a little in the off-season. Nothing really special planned? Nope! Well, that’s nice, but not interesting. Chaos, tell us a little about yourself. I will knock you all down! …great, now look at what you’ve done! What? You’ve just spoiled the entire game’s storyline! The spoiler squad will destroy you! Uh…guys, that’s the oldest spoiler in existence. No penalty for anything over 3 years old. Indeed. It warrants no launching. Of course, if I mentioned that the real plot twist in Star Ocean: Till the End of Time involves the game being… LAUNCHED! Mmmm…why is it that ultimate villains are always so much dumber on this show? Might be Odin’s aura of stupidity brining the general IQ in the area down a couple levels. That’s likely the case. And with that, I bid you all adieu. Come back next week for another exciting episode of Behind the Scenes, here at the RPGDL!