rently experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by.
 | What do you mean, the cameras are broken?!
|
 | Now... take it easy, Mr. Nanjo, all this anger can't be good for your blood pressure...
|
| We run a TELEVISION show here, Ultros! How can we put on a television show when you broke the cameras?
|
| Me? Now wait just a minute, I didn't do anything!
|
 | That's right! He was out with Morte and I all last night, and not only did we not get drunk, we didn't even go anywhere near the studio.
|
 | Don't look at me. I'm not allowed anywhere near the filming stuff anymore.
|
 | *sigh* Whatever. I wouldn't be caught dead here outside of working hours.
|
| Then what are we going to do for a show?
|
| Well, we could always do viewer mail.
|
| Ugh. Well, I suppose there's no choice.
|
| Um, Gilgy? None of these letters are addressed to us.
|
| Oops. Must have grabbed the wrong bag.
|
| Hmm... looks like you got the DL's letters to Santa Necron.
|
 | Great! Let's open some and reveal the innermost desires of our fellow fighters for fun and profit!
|
| Great. And just for that, you get to go first.
|
| Hey, wait, I didn't mean -
_ _ _
|
| Hey, Necron. Ya know, one of the things I hate about this place is how all the ladies, lovely or otherwise, all seem to be immune to the charms that I've picked up in an afterlife of propositioning. I mean, I'm no fool - you can't charm the skirts off every woman that comes on by. But enough's enough, already! So, this holiday season, I'd like some Teeth of Enhanced Charisma.
_ _ _
|
| Bwahahaha!
|
| Hey, is it my fault that the DL tends to attract the more virtuous women? Present company excepted, of course.
|
| Um, Morte, how did you write...
|
| I'm not gonna even dignify that with an answer. Next!
_ _ _
|
 | Dear Necron, please send me a boxed set of the Serdio Barbershop Quartet's albums. Thank you, Karyl.
_ _ _
|
| Wow. Talk about lame. I mean, who listens to barbershop anymore?
|
| I DO.
|
| Heh heh... oh, look, another letter!
_ _ _
|
 | There's too much violence in the world. Yes, I know that seems to be a bit hypocritical coming from me, since I compete in ritual combat. But this is the season to be good and kind to everyone. So, even if it's cliche, I hope for peace on earth, and goodwill towards our fellow people/animals/demihumans.
_ _ _
|
| Aw, it warms my cynical and non-existant heart to see such nobility and kindness.
|
| Really?
|
| Sure! It's never going to happen, but it can't hurt to dream. Besides, I'm betting that if she had to be peaceful and kind, the chief would spontaneously combust.
|
| You know, you're not really helping your "don't crush me" case right now, skull.
|
| Let's just move on.
_ _ _
|
| I want a pony, and a new mop, and some sensible shoes, and a motorcycle, and three pounds of fudge, and a calligraphy set, and...
_ _ _
|
| And it continues in this vein for how long?
|
| About seven pages, single spaced. Hey, if you're going to grovel for presents, why not go all out?
|
| Ow, that actually makes sense. Are you sure we didn't get drunk last night?
|
| Positive.
_ _ _
|
 | You won't escape, Necron! We're going to hunt you down one of these days and destroy you! Mark my words!
PS: I want a Zidane realdoll.
_ _ _
|
| And there goes my appetite for the rest of the month.
|
| You said it.
_ _ _
|
 | Hello friend. I am royalty from some country or place that you've never heard of. My country's chief export is happiness, but we've been having trouble financing the little happy fairies to deliver our product. If you want to feel happy, please send 5 GP to "Happy Me", care of the enclosed self-addressed stamped envelope. Don't forget to include your name, personal information, and credit card numbers (with expiration dates).
_ _ _
|
| There's no way something like that would work.
|
| Um, Mr. Nanjo? Could I have a five GP advance on my paycheck?
|
| You knew that was going to happen.
|
| Guilty as charged. Hey! Here's our letter!
_ _ _
|
| Rank Final Fantasy 12! Rank Final Fantasy 12! Rank Final Fantasy 12!
|
| Sure, what he said. Hey, did you know I won a title? Yay me!
_ _ _
|
| And you're absolutely SURE we didn't get drunk?
|
| Of course! There's no way either of us could have gotten drunk off a single glass of rum and Coke.
|
| Unless, of course, some unknowing person knocked a bottle of pure alcohol into your drinks. Repeatedly.
|
| This is hypothetical, right?
|
| I was wondering why my glass never seemed to be any emptier...
_ _ _
|
 | I'd be tender, I'd be gentle
And awful sentimental
Regarding love and art
I'd be friends with the sparrows
And the boy who shoots the arrows,
If I only had a heart.
_ _ _
|
| Well, that's sweet, in a disturbing sort of way.
|
| Agreed. See, that's why I left Asgard.
|
| And not at all because you died and were kicked out.
|
| Exactly.
_ _ _
|
| From the desk of Nate "Chim-Chim" Nanjo, RE: Acquisitions for the upcoming festivities:
1. A new notepad. (Can't believe I didn't notice that part that Maya added until now...)
2. A case of those delightful chocolates Quina makes, with the "Crunchy Frog" ones already taken out.
3. That original Prokofiev sheet music I lost in that auction a few months ago.
4. A year with a staff that will show up on time, show proper respect to our guests, not slack off and/or cause massive property damage, and still manage to entertain the audience.
_ _ _
|
| Yeah, good luck with that last one.
|
| It's a wish lish. Wishes aren't always achievable.
|
| You mean I might not get my pony?
|
| Let's just keep going, shall we?
_ _ _
|
 | Hello. I am writing this on behalf of Ryu. Necron, Ryu's only wish is for me to rule the universe. Considering how kind and gentle and good he is, it would be an incredible crime if you were not to fulfill his...
|
 | ...The hell?
|
| Oh, hello Ryu.
|
| Why are you forging my writing?
|
| It's just a little harmless joke between friends.
|
| We're not friends!
|
| Would you stop taking that pen from me?
|
| Would you stop using me for your personal gain?
|
| Oh, it's on, Brood Boy.
|
| Raah!
...
_ _ _
|
| What the hell was that?
|
| I don't know. It looks like they dictated the fight.
|
| Even without them in the studio, the corrupting power of Behind the Scenes reigns supreme.
|
| Let's finish up, please. This nightmare has gone on long enough.
|
| All right. For those of us at Behind the Scenes, see you in Season 32.
|
| Hey! We never got to hear Chisato's letter.
_ _ _
|
| Let's face it - there's not all that much you could get me that I don't either already have or could get easily enough. After all, I'm rich, powerful, and I have a large stock of blackmail material available. And it's not like you could manage anything intangible that I'd want, either. A new job? Nah, I've got a pretty darn good setup here, with a bunch of good co-workers (but if you ever tell them that, I'll roast you alive). More prestige in the League? I'm one of the most feared people outside the arena, and I'd like to earn my own respect inside it. World domination? Too much hassle, and it'd cut into my relaxation time. So, I guess if I have to ask for anything, it'd be that next year be as violent, exciting, profitable, and all-around good as this one.
Chisato Madison |
And so we have the winners of the finals, signors! Congratulations to Myria, Ultros, Popoi and Porom! Now, however... there is more to do! More indeed! Make sure you check out the Results of their matches to find out just by how much of a passion and gusto these champions won!