Buon giorno, signors! Back for another week at my monstrous pit, ay? Of course you are! First, no doubt you will be wanting to check the results, ay? Go on, take a peek! **Importantion information for newcomers! Please click This Link to go to a post made by our moderators that should hopefully answer several of your questions! If you have any more, simply feel free to go to the forums and ask!** In Godlike, the impressive computer programmer signor has won yet again! His second upset in many weeks! Can you feel the PASSION of one surpassing his expectations? This week, he faces off against a truly monstrous member of the Monstrous Pit, the ancient, demonic warrior known only as CHAOS! What a battle it promises to be, signors! Heavy is the home of two bellisimas this week, and what fighters both are! Nina is a princess of the highest class, and an amazing spellcaster, while Emily fights with the GUSTO of the common woman, and few can match the devastation those fists of hers can cause. Which lady shall emerge victorious? In Middle, the flashing blade of the warrior Marisa clashes with the immovable object that is... a small furry animal? Laugh all you want, signors, but Mog is no opponent to be trifled with? Will Marisa find a way to cut through his formidable defences? We shall soon see, ay! And in the lowest division, Virginia Maxwell, burning with passion to soar higher than ever, faces Jin Uzuki, a great warrior who feels he can make it to the next rank! Only one will have the chance to go on... who will it be, signors? Now, readers, please head over to the Monsterous Pit! Vote on the above matches, plus four more! If you haven't already, head by the Not Ranked Monstrous Pit and pay a visit to Dryst, ay? Need a hand? Or want to shed some light on a particular match? The Season 32, Week 4 topic is at your service, signors. **Everyone, listen! Have you ever wanted to take part in our Bonus Matches? Have you ever had a great idea you thought would make an awesome match? Well here's your chance! Just go to the Bonus Match Ideas Post and read all about it! It's time for rankings again! Tales of Phantasia's young warriors burning with PASSION, Wild ARMs: Alter Code F's fan favourites, those monstrous warriors of Pokemon fame, and an impressive king by the name of Barbarossa are all seeking entry to the MONSTROUS PIT! Cast you vote for who gets in and who remains property of my good friend Dryst, at The season 32 ranking topic. And for all those new entries, some may leave as well, find out who is up for consideration at The retirement topic and let your voices be heard, signors! But first, dear readers, check out what unbelievable hijinks Chisato and her crew have gotten up to this week! And be sure to return for the finals next week! I know you won't let me down, ay? Welcome to Behind the Scenes, where we ask questions to the DL's duellers and then completely ignore the answers in favor of berating and injuring them... darn it, I hate this "truth in advertising" thing. Anyway, here's the star of our show, Chisato Madison! We're into the semifinals, and the competition is heating up. With me today are four of the most notable semifinalists. We have the current winningest fighter in Light... Hi! ...a three-time Heavy semifinalist... Yo. ...a mascot in Middle whose only losses are to people who upgraded... Kupo. ...and some old fuddy-duddy. Hey! Gee, that phrase sounds familiar, fish-breath. You know, they always say you sound more and more like the ones you care for as time goes by. You've got to be kidding, fur-face. I loathe that little child. We can talk about the squid's relationships later. Let's get started. Hello, Virginia. Hello, again. You're one of the unfortunate few fighters to win a championship and not upgrade. And not to put too fine a point on it, but hah hah. Quite. You obviously know how we feel about it, but since you've had quite a while to adjust, I'd like to know your thoughts on it. Well, I was gliding a bit, but now I'm just about ready to soar back into the upper echelons. Ugh. More "wing" talk. You may not like it, but it makes me memorable, which gives me more chances to compete, as it were. I mean, if I didn't continually talk about flight, I would be just another Drifter. And what would that make me? Jet? Um... Come on, insult the guy! Everyone else does. Er... You know you want to. But... Oh, I get it. You like him. What?! Ginny likes Jet! Ginny likes Jet! *sigh* She does not. Chisato likes Ginny! Chisato likes Ginny! She does not! Ginny likes Chisato! Ginny... Knock it off! Nobody likes Chisato. Run. Now. Gee, I'd love to chief, just let me get my running shoes on and... oh, wait. No feet. How 'bout that. Suit yourself. Time to crack some skull! But what about my in-depth interview? I can keep chanting about how you like Jet, if you'd like. No, thank you. Then scoot, while we bring on the next guest. How's it going, oh walking talking throw-rug? As well as you'd expect, oh lamest thing from the sea since Aquaman, kupo. Facing off against a female swordswoman, huh? Think you can manage not to screw it up, and finish the season with better than a .500 record for the first time ever? She fights, I tank, we all go home happy. Except you, of course, since ya have to live your kupoor excuse for a life. Now that was lame. Yeah... but let's face it. We come from the land of "son of a submariner". Insults just aren't our thing. All right, I'll bite. What the heck are you two doing? Well, at first it was practice for witty repartee for the show... Then it turned into friendly bonding, kupo. So you insult each other because you're friends? Get back here and take your pounding like a man, you aberrant, abhorrant, poor excuse for a paperweight! Gee, I'd love to do whatever it is you said, but I can't hear you over the flapping of your flab! We're not planning on telling the boss about this. Good idea. One last question, Mog - do you have alternate attacks if you do dances not in your repertoire from your game? Well, I went out to a club one night. You know, the one on the outskirts with that reflective ball hanging from the ceiling, kupo? Well, I was in the middle of a dance on the floor when the entire club caught fire, and I wasn't even trying to do it, kupo. Ah, so it was a disco inferno. Yup. On to Heavy? Sweet. My turn. Gilgy? Yes, Ultros? I don't have any questions for her. Come to think of it, neither do I. And I certainly don't want to bring up the last time we fought... You know I can hear you, right? Hey, Chisato? Do you have any questions for Emily? ...and rip every tooth out of your... what? No, I didn't bother to make any. Why don't you just ask her about Nina? We like her. You do? No, but she's not here right now, so telling her we hate her won't get on her nerves as much as if we tell you. We could ask her about how she feels to have only lost to champions who are in Godlike now. Why? That involves me, and I don't want to give her a reason to beat me up. Hang on, we need a reason to inflict violence on this show now? I'm about more than just fighting, you know. Really? Name one thing. Um... er... I have a headband? Really. You know who else has a headband? Nina the Fourth. Only hers is nicer. Don't get me angry, Morte. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. I don't like you now, so I don't see the problem. Chisato, would you mind? Be my guest. EMILY SMASH!!! Um... bye! GET BACK HERE! SMAAAAASH!! You think he's a masochist? Can't rule it out. Our last guest is Chaos. Zzzzz.... Oh, not this old bit again. What? Oh, sorry. Mindless violence makes me drowsy. But aren't you supposed to be a final boss, the epitome of hatred or evil or destruction set to destroy everything for some unexplained goal? Bah! Back in my day, we didn't even have that as a reason. You were a final boss just for the heck of it. Not like today, where every Johnny come lately with long hair and a catchy theme song has to have "justification" for their actions. Reasons? Goals? I was a killing machine! So, do you have some sort of grudge against Luther, as being one of the new guard? Nope. Just gonna knock him down. And failing that, I'll use my secret weapon. CUR4? XXXX? NUKE? I'll break his battery backup, and then his screen will go all blinky and all his work will be deleted. I hate it when that happens. Agreed. Well, if that's all you have to say, then we'll sign off. See you next week.