 | You know, I was thinking.
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 | Or what you call thinking.
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| Har har har.
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 | Big talk coming to Mr. "Oh, I'm sure this is the Excalibur. No need to look at the name or anything."
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| IT WAS DARK IN THAT DUNGEON!
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| Annyway, here's the problem. How the hell do we pay for anything?
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 | I don't follow.
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| Me and Gilgamesh both have currency in Gil.
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| Yes.
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| But then we have Gold, Gald, GP, Zenny, Fol, Dollars, Yen, Macca, and that's just off the top of my head! All in the DL, right here. What's the exchange rate? Who decides that stuff? How valuable is, say, GP compared to Zenny? Is there a universal currency that every vendor accepts? These are the questions that keep me up at night.
|
| I..see.
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| And what about the Materialize points from VP1? Are they actually currency or just magical thingies that you use to create weapons?
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| You'd have to ask somebody else. I was kinda hands-off during the whole game. "Go do this Lenneth" here, "There's no way I can lose to Loki" there.
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| I see what you mean. Economists' heads would explode.
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 | It's a good thing I don't pay any of you, or else this would cause many headaches.
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 | You still had to pay for this studio and stuff.
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| I just signed a bunch of papers. You'd have to ask the many underpaid grunts at Nanjo Corp how it works. I just ride motorcycles and slay demons. Like every Fortune 500 CEO.
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| When you're not bathing in your money or paying orpans 50 dollars to kiss.
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| I truly lead a charmed life.
|
| Uh-huh. The show, people?
|
| We've been ready, lady.
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|
|
|
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| I'm never ready. But I never really do anything anyway. It's all yours, Chief.
|
| Another week.....sigh. Welcome to Week 3, readers! As we start culling off those unworthy of a shot at the championship, the excitement reaches a fever pitch, and all your favorite duelists are here to entertain you with their interviews! I know you're anxious to get started, and so am I, so here are your Godlikes, Brahms and Emelious!
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 | It's about damn time I didn't face a mage boss right away.
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 | THE POWER OF XORN WILL CRUSH YOU AND BRING ABOUT MY PERFECT WORLD!
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| Oh boy. Another dork with delusions of godhood and a completely idiotic goal. I can barely wait.
|
| Strategies for the battle ahead?
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| A few Bloody Curses should shut him up. Without that fancy insta-kill Sword, he's not much.
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| Mock all you like, vampire. I, Emelious De Pamela, cannot be stopped by foolish monsters such as yourself. With Xorn, I will beat all who stand in my way!
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| Except dense, goody-goody plane loving mains.
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| And incredibly whiny, overly emotional love interests.
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| And mace-wielding, dragon-riding goofballs.
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| And random magic-using add-ons with love for stupid side-characters.
|
| But, you see, the thing with that is...
|
| Is what? It's not exactly a cast of Einsteins, dude. You could probably tell them the 'power of love' involved jumping off a cliff and all they'd ask is 'how high?'.
|
| Not to mention joining up with some weird-bird thing made of jelly with weird eyes. You're not playing Resident Evil.
|
| The whole turning the world into glass thing? Yeah, maybe you should have just stayed at home and learned to deal with it.
|
| Curses! People still don't respect me! Hmm, but how to rectify this...I know! Surely cutting more symbols into my skin will work! To the razor shop!
|
| Should we...?
|
| Nahh, he'll pass out from blood loss. Eventually.
|
| Where do they find these people, anyway? I'm an immortal vampire incarnated in the body of a fighter who died hundreds of years ago resurrected by a schizophrenic princess and that still wasn't half as out of line as what he just said.
|
| My advise is not to think about it. Heavies...Odin? Again?
|
| Thank you, I'll take it from here! Welcome, Odin! It sure is nice to see you again!
|
| Why thank you, my handsome interviewer, it is always a pleasure to stop by.
|
| ...
|
|
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|
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 |
|
| Odin, I know you've always been overwhelmingly powerful, but do you have any particular qualms about fighting Worker 8?
|
| Of course not, dear sir! His magic immunity might be troublesome for duellers not up to my level, but for the All-Father it's a mere niusance. I'm sure that I will whip that puny trashcan posthaste!
|
| Well well well. I see you're as dashingly brave as you are handsome.
|
| Hee hee hee. Guilty as charged.
|
| Any last thoughts, my good fellow?
|
| Not at all, my lovely host. Now for a quick hug, all in the name of friendship, and...mrfh....err....Ahh, I love me. MEEEE!
|
| MUST DIPOSE OF THIS -TRASH-. WHIRRRRRRRR!
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| NOT THE FACE! NOT THE GROIN! MY ELBOW! AHH! YOU PUNCTURED MY SPLEEN! NOT THE APPENDIX! MY UPPER FEMORA! NOOOOOOO! AKDA;GASKDG;ASDGHSAD;DHPAINPAINPAIN
|
| This has become somewhat of an understatement through the years, but: Man, Odin is pathetic.
|
| You said it. Yeeeesh.
|
| Middles? I really need something to take my mind off...that.
|
 | Hi!
|
 | Greetings.
|
| So, ladies(and, uh, gentlemen. Maybe?), what think you of the match?
|
| I'm sure Mrs.(?) Caina is quite good at fighting, but I don't think she can overcome Gospel or my healing. And as durable as she is, I highly doubt I'll have much trouble beating her with my Mystic Art.
|
| You guys are hiding something, but I'm not sure what...
|
| Oh, nonsense. We would just like to hear your opinion on the match, uhh...Lady.
|
| Well, in that case, do you really think some brat that can mumble some gibberish now and then can really stand up to a member of Cocytus? With our might, and Vinsfeld's pure ideals, we struck terror in the hearts of many. This is just a recreational match, nothing more.
|
| What is it with people today and massively undeserved overconfidence? It's like every man, woman, and androgynous thing turned into Vaynard.
|
| I beg your pardon?
|
| Baaaaah, I don't have time for this. Worker 8?
|
| Scanning....error: Gender not found. Must be new type of Monster. Initiating Operaton: Kill Things.
|
| Eep.
|
| What a day. Okay, let's have the Lights and get it over with.
|
 | MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH!
|
 | Hi.
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| Arrrrrrrrrrgh.
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| FACE YOUR JUDGEMENT, MORTALS! I, EVIL GAIA, WILL BLAH BLAH BLAH POWER OF EVIL BLAH BLAH BLAH DESTROY EVERYTHING BLAH BLAH BLAH I LOVE BUNNIES.
|
| Eh?
|
| UHH, TO KILL I MEAN! YES! TO KILL! CERTAINTLY NOT TO HUG AND SQUEEZE AND HAVE TEA PARTIES WITH!
|
| Uh..huh. Koyu...what do you even do?
|
| I hit things, most likely. Perhaps Runes are invovled, I'm not sure. Additionally, I can defend, though that might not be useful in such a setting.
|
| POIZN WILL SPELL YOUR DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!
|
| Why don't you go play with your bunny doll collection, buster, and don't embarass yourself when we fight.
|
| H-HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT? I AM EVIL GAIA!
|
| I bet Flonne would be interested in your little...hobby.
|
| ....YOU WOULDN'T DARE.
|
| Wouldn't I? What with all the talk of love and happiness, I bet you'll find yourself so knee-deep in good will you won't know what to do. Hmm. I think this is when her law office opens. Perhaps she might like to know of a new case. Well, Chisato, it's been great, but I think I better duck out early.
|
| WAIT! COME BACK! DAMN YOU, MR. FLUFFYKINS, THIS IS THE THIRD TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME! WAAAAAAIT!
|
| Well, that was surprisingly painless.
|
| All in favor of getting out of here?
|
| Aye!
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| You'll hear no complaints from me.
|
| Nor me.
|
| Quit the yapping and shut that thing off already.
|
| This is Chisato Madison, signing off once more! Be sure to return for next week's installment of Behind The Scenes!
|
Signors, welcome to the RPG Dueling League, an online community dedicated to pitting the fiercest, most PASSIONATE competitors from the RPG world against each other in a battle of fighting skill, and then democratically deciding who wins. I am your humble host, Morrie, and it is my pleasure to introduce you to the Arena, or as I like to call it, THE MONSTROUS PIT!!!