 | Hey there kids, and welcome to season 40 of the RPGDL. That's right, the big 4-0, which is a pretty impressive landmark for a tournament like this. And on this occasion, we decided to have a nice barbeque in celebration. So since Chisato is off playing with fire, that leaves me to be the host. And really, who could possibly be more qualified to talk about 40 seasons of history then me, one of the Season 1 champions?
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 | Actually, I'm going to have to take over for you. You're needed elsewhere.
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| What? Why?
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| Gilgamesh can only handle so many grills at once, and you have more arms even then him. And we have about three times as many guests as planned.
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| Yeesh, we're gonna need alot of food then. Alright, sorry kids, I know how much you wanted to hear me talk about how things have changed from the old days, but I've got half a dozen grills to man, so here's the boss man himself, Nate Nanjo to take you through the show!
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| A decent introduction for once. Ultros really is in a good mood, I suppose. Well, this shouldn't be to hard, I'll just wander around through the crowd and ask some questions here and there. Simplicity itself, right? Ah, there's a batch of fighters right over there. Excuse me, could I have a word with you all?
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 | And then my mom was like hulking out and, hmm, oh, hey Nate. What's with the mic?
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 | Looks like he's doing his own footwork for a change.
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 | Th-th-thanks for the b-b-barbeque.
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 | Not that I'll be eating anything, but it smells nice at least.
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| So, you're all fighting this week, aren't you? How do you think things have changed since the early days of the DL? And why are you all hanging out together now anyway?
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| Well, us Heavy upgraders have to stick together and all, right?
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| I thought you actually started Godlike though?
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| When you lose and downgrade your first match in, you're a Heavy. I won my way back in short order though, and I feel I've earned my ranking now. Here's hoping you three can do the same.
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| Yeah, s-s-sorry I'm gonna have to b-b-beat you, Emily.
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| Hey, at least one of us will get a Godlike win either way. And I'll do my best to keep you out of the downgrade pool.
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| Ah, do you think at least one of you could answer my question?
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| Hmm? Oh, well, things are alot more fun now. Larger talent pool to draw from, means tougher competition and just a bigger variety in fights. That's all that's really different for me, anyway.
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| Forty seasons isn't really that long, comparatively.
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| Maybe not for you. Well, I'll leave you to your conversation then. Hmm, who else is here to interview? Ah, there we are, Marcello, care to share a few thoughts with our viewers?
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 | Yes, please. Anything to distract me from the incessant ramblings of this imbecile.
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 | Yeah, and then I was like 'Woaah!' and Reid was like 'Gyaar!' and we were like 'Roooaaar!' but Kratos was always all '...' and stuff like that. Oh, oh, but here's the good part...
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| I see what you mean. Lloyd, shut up for a minute, I'm trying to interview Marcello.
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| Oh, this is on camera? Awesome, everyone should hear this one! So then Genis was all like 'oh there's no way you guys can do this' but me and Reid are too awesome to lose, right? So then Raine started bringing stuff out and we were staring down that funky frog eating thing and...
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| I SAID SHUT UP!
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| Um...sure, okay. Don't need to yell at me, man.
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| Nanjo, you have my undying gratitude for managing that. Now, about that interview, do you mind if I take a moment to address the audience directly about a very important matter?
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| Certainly, begin whenever you're ready.
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| Thank you. *ahem* Now, I'm well aware that many of you gamers out there have rather negative opinions of silent main characters, but I would like to take a moment to urge you to reconsider those opinions. Silent mains are a wonderful concept that I wholeheartedly believe that every RPG should include. They are easy to work with, don't spout off inane babble about love and friendship, and best of all, are always politely generic. Consider if you will, the alternative for a moment.
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| Huh, why are you looking at me? Oh, is it my turn to talk now? Awesome! So like I was saying, me and Reid were staring down this Queena critter and Raine was bringing out the food, right? So then we just plugged our noses and were like 'Blarrrrrg!' but dived right into it, and then Genis was like 'no way!' and...
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| I think I've made my point. Please, if any of you ever design an RPG, think of the villains' sanities and make your main characters silent. Thank you.
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| What I don't get is why you've let him keep going instead of shredding him to pieces for this.
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| Unlike many of my fellow villainous characters, I have the self control to wait until we meet in the arena to unleash my frustrations upon this blithering idiot.
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| Well, good luck with that. Well, moving on to the next...hello, is that a catfight I spy? Talk about instant ratings. Excuse me, pardon me, camera coming through!
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 | You wanna say that again to my face, you stuck up little brat?
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 | You heard me the first time. You're nothing but a third rate Valeria clone that not even your cast mates care about. No wonder you drink so much.
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| Oh and you're so special swinging around that sword you can barely use. And at least I have enough taste not to find neanderthals attractive, even when I'm drunk.
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| Oh you did NOT just go there.
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| Oh I think I did. You gonna do something about it?
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| This should be good.
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| Yeah, I'm going to teach you a lesson right here and now. Come on, pull out that fancy swordwork you're so proud of!
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| What makes you think YOU can teach me anything? I already passed grade school, you know.
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| That's it! Bloody Rose!
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| Hmph, you call that a hit? Here's how it's done little girl, Falcon Rune!
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 | Oh my, it looks like someone decided to get into a catfight without me involved.
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| I'd glare at you for the pun, but I'm too busy filming this ratings goldmine here.
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 | Pika pika!
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| ...
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| Pi?
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| Okay, I've about had it with these pokemon. Mao, you exterminate this rodent for me, and I'll give you a staring role in a special Nanjo Studios production.
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| That's all? Consider it done. Electric or not, no mouse is a match for my feline skills. Come here little pikachu...
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| ...pi..ka?
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| Meow!
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| PIKA!!!
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| Heh heh heh. And hey, I think those two count for light. So no need to take my eyes, or the camera, off of this lovely spectacle.
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| Grr, that was my favorite shirt! You're gonna pay for that, witch!
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| And what'dya know, the ground makes it look better then you did!
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| Let the good times roll. |
I, Kazan, bid you welcome to the RPG Dueling League, dedicated to the art of pitting the greatest warriors of the RPG Multiverse against each other in honourable combat! Within lies the greatest showcase of fighting talent you will ever lay your eyes upon!