| Hey kids! Welcome to Season 44 of the RPGDL, I'm Ultros and I'm here to show up my sword obsessed compatriot's mediocre performance last week as I take you Behind The Scenes!
|
| Oh, that reminds me, Nate wanted me to talk to you about the show.
|
| Wait, Chisato? What are you doing here?
|
| He thinks that you guys are being a bit too biased towards bosses, so he had me redo the guest list this week to make sure we had a PC from each division.
|
| ...
|
| Also, he thinks you're being a bit too hard on the PCs, what with the poor treatment of Tengaar and Jewel last week, while even a loser like Loki got away with just an embarrassing question. So no picking on the PCs this week.
|
| Wait just a minute, you're worse then any of us to PCs! Why do you get to pick on them and we don't?
|
| Because I pick on everyone. Company policy is that general mayhem is fine, discrimination is not.
|
| You actually read company policies?
|
| How else do I know just how far I can push things? Well, have fun!
|
| *grumblegrumble* stupid rules *grumblegrumble*
|
| ULTROS! What's taking so long? Introduce us already!
|
| Oh, right. Uh, where was I?
|
| Season 44, Behind the Scenes, proving we're better then Gilgamesh, etc.
|
| Right! And to help me host today's show, we have a few more members from the Reoccurring Bosses Club. Please give a warm welcome to that terror of Filgaia, the strongest of the quarter knights and all around demonic badass, the one and only...
|
| ZEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!!!
|
| What are you doing here?
|
| Hey, I'm a Reoccurring Boss! And I'm much more stylish then anyone else in the club, how could you even think of leaving me out of this!? So I decided to save you from your own oversight by making a surprise entrance!
|
| Yeah, except we kicked you out for going all PC on us.
|
| A minor matter! You'll change your tune when you get an eyeful of this DRAMATIC POSE!!!! Hoo Ha!
|
| Yeah, just...hold that pose for a second so I can, uh, take a picture. Yeah.
|
| A picture? Certainly! Take all you want!
|
| Perfect. *WHOOSH*
|
| Hey, that's not a cam...*WHAM* *CRASH* *CRASH* *CRASH* *THUD*
|
| Woo, three walls before he stopped. Nice one. Anyway, as I was trying to say, please welcome the one and only Berserk!
|
| Thank you.
|
| Manning the cameras for us today, which I'm thankfully getting a break from, we have the recently downgraded dark prince of Zetengia, Gares.
|
| FOOLS. I WILL NOT BE IN LIGHT LONG.
|
| ...
|
| Why are you TALKING LIKE THIS?
|
| BECAUSE I AM EVIL. AND MIGHTY. AND DARK.
|
| And starved for attention. Do we really need this guy?
|
| Yes. Unless you want to handle the cameras today.
|
| Ugh. I'll pass.
|
| And last but certainly not least...
|
| Yes, I believe we just covered the least.
|
| HEY!
|
| It's that grand master of backflip-fu, Songi!
|
| Behold the power of my backflips! Hahahaha!
|
| Right into the co-anchor's chair. Nice aim, I'll give that one an eight.
|
| Eight.
|
| SEVEN.
|
| There isn't really enough room in here for anything more spectacular. Unless we want to move the show to the roof!?
|
| No way. Okay, we've wasted enough time with introductory hijinks, let's get some guests out here. Joining us from Godlike today we have a pair of ladies who haven't met with much success in the highest division, Cecilia Lynn Adelhyde and Fujin.
|
| Hello Cecilia.
|
| Umm...any chance I can skip my interview and just run away?
|
| 'Fraid not. Word from the top is that we have to give PCs equal screen time, so you're stuck getting interviewed. Unless Fujin wants to run away too, of course.
|
| NEGATIVE.
|
| Crud.
|
| Crud? You call that an expletive? Come on, you hang out with a treasure hunter, I'm sure you've picked up some better vocabulary then that.
|
| Well, yes, but I'm a princess. I'm not supposed to use those words.
|
| Lame.
|
| Really? I'm pretty sure I heard you say a few choice things that time I nearly knocked Rudy's head off. What was it again...?
|
| Shut up! You're a lying liar!
|
| Oh yeah, you said...
|
| Liar!!!
|
| BLUSHING.
|
| A..am not!
|
| ARE TOO.
|
| Shut it, Light-bait.
|
| WHAT!?
|
| You heard him. Seriously, we don't want you here and your shouting is getting annoying. Just hold the cameras and don't talk, alright?
|
| >>>
|
| ...huh?
|
| ...what the hell was that?
|
| I think it was supposed to be an All Caps ellipsis.
|
| You're really trying too hard.
|
| POSEUR.
|
| Alright, ignoring the failure now. So ladies, think either of you will manage to finally get a win in Godlike this season?
|
| Hey, I've won in Godlike before!
|
| Queen Zeal so doesn't even count.
|
| Why not?
|
| LIGHTFELLOW.
|
| Okay, her win counts.
|
| Yeah, can't disrespect someone who beat Zophar. Alright, think you ladies will manage to do well this season?
|
| AFFIRMATIVE.
|
| I'll certainly try.
|
| Alright, good luck with that. And I think that's enough time wasted on Godlike. Berserk my good man, haul the Heavies in here, will you?
|
| A pleasure. *WHOOSH*
|
| Woah!
|
| Eeek!
|
| Heavies hauled, as requested.
|
| Antenora and princess Eirika, lovely to have you both here.
|
| I'm sure. Think you could refrain from dragging me in on the end of a ball and chain next time?
|
| Same, please. I'm quite capable of walking.
|
| Probably not, it's way too much fun watching him do that.
|
| So, you've both been out of the arena for quite awhile. Since...season 24 for the both of you, wasn't it?
|
| Mmhmm.
|
| Yes.
|
| Rather convenient, isn't it?
|
| Pardon?
|
| Just commenting on the odds of you both being in at the same time again. On the same week even.
|
| What exactly are you getting at?
|
| I'm not following you either, Songi.
|
| Last in at the same time, lost at the same time, back in at the same time, managing to get booked here at the same time. It all just reeks of some dastardly scheme, if you ask me!
|
| Are you insane? You are, aren't you?
|
| It's not that far fetched, Mr. Songi. Antenora and I have both been out for a long time, and people wanted to see us back in. That it was at the same time is just chance.
|
| AHA! And now you defend her, do you? What's your real connection to Antenora, princess Eirika? IF THAT'S EVEN YOUR REAL NAME!?
|
| Songi, what are you doing?
|
| Hamming it up for the camera.
|
| Right, carry on then.
|
| ...
|
|
|
| SO! Are you prepared to admit your foul plans ON NATIONAL TELEVISION!?
|
| Umm...
|
| Er, wait, ON THE INTERNET!?
|
| Um, of course not! We shall never reveal our secrets to the likes of you!
|
| Okay, now what are YOU doing?
|
| Playing along?
|
| Atta girl!
|
| Okay, I'm leaving now. I have a Trunks recolor to turn into bishie paste. See you in the semifinals, Eirika. Unless you get yourself beaten, of course.
|
| I'll do no such thing! I have the reputation of Renais to uphold, afterall.
|
| And I think Songi's had enough fun with Heavy. Time to move on to Middle. Berserk?
|
| On it! *WHOOSH*
|
| Tch! What is this!?
|
| Woah!
|
| Oh, Gares?
|
| WHAT?
|
| You can interview middle if you stop shouting.
|
| REALLY? *ahem* Er, really? Agreed.
|
| Wait, you're letting one of Vaynard's lackeys have responsibility?
|
| Nope, just letting him interview you.
|
| What? You insult me, fish.
|
| Yes, well, we figured you'd take offense no matter what we said, so we just decided to go all the way and leave your interview to Gares.
|
| Hah, truly you have been belittled.
|
| ...does he even get what you really meant?
|
| Probably not.
|
| Silence! This is MY interview! And it would seem that I have been entrusted with the task of being insulting. Very well. Margulis!
|
| ...
|
| How does it feel, having a worse record then not only your rival Jin, but also Jin's worthless sister Shion?
|
| ...
|
| Struck speechless, are you? I can't blame you, I'd hate to be known as the biggest failure in the entire Xenosaga cast!
|
| ...
|
| W-why aren't you getting angry? I know what your temper is like!
|
| ...
|
| SAY SOMETHING, BLAST YOU!!!!
|
| Oh, right. He doesn't talk to Lights.
|
| *twitch* GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! DIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
|
| No.
|
| Ugh! Oof! Owowowowowow stop! Stop!
|
| I don't know who's more fun to abuse, him or Odin. Berserk, take over?
|
| Sure. Magulis, fighting Rena, yes? Think you can win?
|
| With ease.
|
| Kenneth, will a Lightning Rune be enough against a mage like Genis?
|
| Enough? It's closer to overkill then to falling short.
|
| Nice confidence there. Now, what's this I hear about you wearing women's armor?
|
| Um, excuse me?
|
| Y'know, jewelry, necklaces, that stuff. You like to feel pretty or something?
|
| Th-that stuff's not just for women. You can be masculine and wear jewelry!
|
| Sure you can. Pansy.
|
| Tch. Hey, wait. Why am I putting up with this from you?
|
| Uh, because I'm a good Heavy and you're a wimp?
|
| I'm more thinking about how I'm faster then you and you're weak to Lightning.
|
| Um, no I'm not. You've got your sources wrong.
|
| No, I'm pretty sure I'm right. How about I test it out, just to be on the safe side?
|
| There's really no need for such uncivilized behavior here.
|
| Hey, don't hide behind me! That stuff messes me up too!
|
| A pair of Heavy bosses cowering from a Middle PC. Disgraceful.
|
| Indeed.
|
| I suppose I should slap him around a few times just to show you two how it's done.
|
| Um, y'know what? I think I hear Lazlo calling for me. Wonderful show guys, gotta run now!
|
| I think I'll follow suit. Good day.
|
| Huh. An entire interview with Margulis and he never once shouted UZUKIIIII!!!
|
| Well he did spend most of it snubbing Gares.
|
| A worthy cause.
|
| Wait, if Gares is out cold, who's got the camera?
|
| Uh, I do. If that's okay.
|
| You know, I saw you come in, and completely forgot all about you.
|
| I get that alot.
|
| Okay, Songi, take the camera!
|
| Why me? Make Berserk do it, as punishment for his cowardly cowering.
|
| I need him to haul the last Light in.
|
| Like so! *WHOOSH*
|
| Whah! Haha, that little ride was certainly a ball.
|
| Oh look, he's in. Now Berserk can take the camera.
|
| ...point. Alright big guy, get your ugly mug on the back side of the camera for the rest of the show.
|
| Punned at, demoted, and insulted.
|
| It's like you're hanging out with a bunch of villains or something.
|
| Anyway, Hix, I'm not really surprised to see you here this season.
|
| You aren't?
|
| Not a bit. After your little competition with Yuri on behalf of your women, I'm betting all the ladies out there couldn't wait to see you...perform.
|
| Tengaar told me not to talk about that on the show.
|
| I'll bet she did.
|
| Doesn't mean I can't talk about it though. So, have you ever considered a career in-
|
| *bzzt*Ultros? Don't go there. Not on my show.*bzzt*
|
| Woah! Was that Nate? Where...
|
| It's an intercom, kid. Don't freak out on me now.
|
| Oh. Um, sorry.
|
| Rather jumpy, aren't you young man? Nerves about the fight?
|
| Yeah. I don't really want to fight Gremio, to be honest.
|
| Don't think you've got what it takes to beat him?
|
| It's not that.
|
| What, is it this emo heroic "waaaah, I dun wanna fight another good guy" crap?
|
| What? No, not that either. I'm from the Warrior's Village, we pound on each other in friendly matches all the time.
|
| So what's the problem?
|
| Well, it's just that getting on the wrong side of the person who cooks your meals is never a good idea. I'm afraid he'll get me back in the cafeteria if I beat him.
|
| Oooh, yeah. A legitimate worry, there.
|
| Montezuma does not have the corner on revenge.
|
| Anyway, enough about Hix. Augst my good man, how's that fight against Kent looking?
|
| At the absolute very least I will certainly enjoy putting a Fire Emblem character in a situation where their opponent counters and they don't. Since I don't actually attack and all.
|
| The irony is there, yes.
|
| Good luck with that. Hope you pound his chivalrous rear into the pavement.
|
| Me too. I'd rather fight Augst then Kent.
|
| I'll certainly try not to disappoint.
|
| So, do we have any time left for me to do a BACKFLIP EXPOSITION!?
|
| 'Fraid not. Sorry man.
|
| Bah. Then I shall leave the close and cleanup to you as I BACKFLIP OUT THE WINDOW! Hiyaaaaa!!!! *crash*
|
| I really wish he'd opened it first.
|
| Phht, pansy. He should've gone out the wall instead of the window. Like this! *CRASH*
|
| ...Nate's not gonna like the damage these guys did.
|
| *bzzt*No, no I'm not.*bzzt*
|
| Oh boy. Well, from me and the crew of studio wreckers here, thanks for watching the show and I hope you enjoy Season 44! Later kids!
|