 | Man, those Rabites sure were delicious.
|
 | And their pelts make such wonderful decorations!
|
 | I sure am glad we let them come here so we could kill them all in the most brutal way possible.
|
 | Endless Shion Works!
|
 | I don't even mind cleaing up all the blood, bones, etc. Because I hate them so much!
|
 | Now to never have them ever show up ever again. At least until next season.
|
| I hear that. Now, I guess it's time to make fun of the losers or something?
|
| Eh, works for me.
|
| Aww, but I wanted to kill more Rabites!
|
| Relax. There's plenty of Rabites left to kill. In fact, several are probably dying of old age right now!
|
| It warms the heart.
|
| It's sort of a Zen feeling, knowing there's so much suffering going on with those mangy furballs.
|
| Alright, enough. It's the last week of Season 44, readers! As everyone preps for the beginning of 45, we have just a few leftover things to discuss. Namely, how much the losers of the championships suck and will die alone, unloved, and covered from head to toe in happy, perfectly alive Rabites. Let's begin with Godlike.
|
 | You were eating Rabites and you didn't invite me???
|
| Jokes about going to your Barbeque's have gotten really, really stale.
|
| However, jokes about your losing to Jade have not. For example: In the World of Ruin, the bugs squash you!
|
| Yes. Yes, because a Yakov Smirnoff joke is so much better.
|
| BoltX hurts!
|
| Not as much as the sting of defeat.
|
| This is..this is so much better than the other thing. Yes. Yes it is.
|
| One more joke like that and I'm turning this interview show right around, people.
|
| Well, whatever.
|
| This is what I get? Man, you guys are <>so<> not getting invited to my next birthday party.
|
| You don't have birthday parties. Nobody even knows how old you really are, you peculiar, crazy little hot-dog scented man.
|
| I am old enough to know when I'm being made fun of. Good day to you, sir. Good day!
|
| Right. The next loser is a Pokemon, but still has a better personality and is more interesting to talk to than Eirkia. So...
|
 | ...
|
| I'd like to take this time to talk about how important it is to remember that Pokemon are still monsters and will rip to you shreds. I mean, Blastoise can shoot water hard enough to break through steel.
|
| Gyrados goes on rampages and kills thousands of people.
|
| How many 'legendary' Pokemon have nearly destroyed the world just by being jerks, now?
|
| Not to mention the invasion from outer space. What's Deoxys hiding, I ask you? Murder.
|
| So the real thing to learn from this is: If you see a Pokemon...
|
| Kill it. Kill it with fire. Or parts of your psyche that you call forth due to nearly dying once. Whatever's easier.
|
| Okay, we killed enough time. And hopefully, enough Pokemon. Let's move on here, shall we?
|
 | I don't understand what happened!
|
| Imagine that.
|
| Eh. At least you aren't a clown or a magical water mammal. It's okay, buddy, these things happen.
|
| At least you had a shot. That's more thany any LoD character besides Lloyd and Lenus has had, really. Well, maybe Dart and Shana, but seriously, screw those guys.
|
| Well, that was very encouraging. I feel much better now.
|
| No problem. Glad to help.
|
| The important thing here is that Margulis will forever be remembered for being a total loser who couldn't even upgrade from Minor Lackey to Color-Coded Main Villain.
|
| Well, you do make a good point. I think I'll head home and start training. I have a lot of work to do! Also, I should probably go to a doctor. I think I'm coming down with a rash because of this terrible itching sensation.
|
| Oh, that's probably just the half-dozen or so Rabites we stuffed down your cloak while you were being such a whiny little baby.
|
| Ah. I think I'll be running and screaming now. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
|
| Good work, team!
|
| He's just so gullible it's adorable.
|
| Well, let's go ahead and finish this, shall we?
|
 | I hate frogs.
|
| Yeah, the French are lame.
|
| I know! I also hate Jean, because he beat me.
|
| At least it was somebody who was kinda good? I'd hate to be beaten by Shiho or somebody.
|
| True, but it's still a giant frog. Not exactly Zophar, here.
|
| And you're not exactly RyuIII, either. What's your point?
|
| It's a good thing that I didn't lose to a giant hermaphrodite, I guess?
|
| I'm down with that.
|
| Now then. I have a question for you.
|
| Yes?
|
| Do you ever actually...um...get off the horse?
|
| ...horse?
|
| You know, the...horse?
|
| I...what? You're not making any sense.
|
| Okay, okay. Uh. When you get into bed...
|
| Bed? I sleep in a stall. Why are you asking me about when I go to bed? And about horses? This is getting really gross.
|
| I..I don't think we're on the same page here...
|
| Pages? In the novel you're writing? About you being a Total Pervert?
|
| Uh...yes. Yes, why not just let this die.
|
| Unbelievable! Well, I've had enough of this crap. Time to go eat some hay and sugar cubes. If you'll excuse me.
|
| That could have gone better.
|
| Water is wet. Let's get out of here.
|
| Good idea.
|
| I have stuff to do.
|
| I would like to read that book when you are done with it, Morte.
|
| ...
|
| What?
|
| Goodbye, everybody!
|
I, Kazan, bid you welcome to the RPG Dueling League, dedicated to the art of pitting the greatest warriors of the RPG Multiverse against each other in honourable combat! Within lies the greatest showcase of fighting talent you will ever lay your eyes upon!