 | Man do I love finals week.
|
 | Any particular reason?
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| I'm a competitive man. Even when I'm not fighting, I love the excitement of the finals. Everyone's on the top of their game, there's this electricity in the air...
|
 | Hey, you keep your electrified air to yourself, buddy.
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| That was a metaphor, you goon.
|
 | What's a metaphor?
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| It's like a simile, only it doesn't use the words 'like' or 'as'.
|
| Oh. Uh, what's a simile?
|
| Same thing as a metaphor, it just uses the words 'like' or 'as'.
|
| ...umm...
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 | Alright, that's enough clowning around. We've got work to do. Where's Chisato?
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| Breakfast run. She said to go ahead and start without her, though.
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| Want me to kick things off, boss?
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| No need, I'll run things myself today. We have a bit of non-standard business to take care of today anyway.
|
| Oh, like what?
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| We'll get to that when we get to it. For now, let's get the Godlikes out here and get started.
|
| You're the boss. Alright, please welcome our finals contestants from Godlike, both former champions and not to be taken lightly by anyone. Give it up for the Fate Storm spamming machine and the man who takes 'inner demons' a little too literally, Zophar and Yuri!
|
 | I'm a little insulted that you seem to think I'm THAT one dimensional.
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 | Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam!
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| Hey, watch it.
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| Alright then, Zophar, do you have any plans for beating Yuri that don't involve Fate Storm?
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| Um...well...I...
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| Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Lovely Spaaaaam!
|
|
|
| ...will you knock that off?
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| You have to admit that you do have a bit of a reputation for spam, though.
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| Lovely Spaaaaam! Wonderful Spaaaam!
|
|
|
|
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| Shut up you stupid Vikings!
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| ARGH! Screw you all, I'm leaving. You'll get yours in the ring, Yuri. I've got a Fate Storm with your name on it!
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| Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Lovely Spam! Lovely Spam! Spa-a-a-a-a-am!!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| And that's more then enough of that.
|
| Heh, sorry Nanjo. Couldn't help myself.
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| Quite alright, it was entertaining up to a point. Any comments from your end of this match?
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| Even if I lose, you can bet it'll be with style. But I'm not just rolling over here, I've got a couple ideas, we'll just have to hope they work.
|
| And how many of those ideas involve getting Edge and/or Time Lord to do something illegal for you?
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| That would be a big, fat No Comment.
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| I bet. You'll excuse me if I'm not confident enough in your schemes to bet on you instead of Zophar.
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| No worries, man. Anyway, I've got some planning to do so I'll catch you all later.
|
| Good luck against mister spam-o.
|
| Spam, spam, spam...
|
| Don't even start. So, moving on to Heavy?
|
 | How about a quick food break?
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| What took you so long anyway?
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| The usual place wasn't open for some reason. Had to go to that new diner down the street, so I just guessed at what everyone wanted.
|
| So what'd you get us, then?
|
| Well we've got an order of egg and bacon. Egg, sausage and bacon. Egg, bacon and spam. Egg, bacon, sausage and spam. Spam, bacon, sausage and spam...
|
| Uh huh. And how long have you really been back?
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| I have no idea what you're talking about, I just got here.
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| Sure you did. Enough with the lunacy, let's get Heavy out here.
|
| Sure thing. From the finals in Heavy, we have a very literal combat machine in the reploid Zero, as well as the always charming mystic, Asellus.
|
 | Hah, first time in and I'm right to the finals.
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 | Too bad this is as far as you go.
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| Strong words, Asellus. This is your first time in the finals as well, unless I'm misremembering.
|
| It is, yes. But really, this is exactly the kind of fight I like. That title is as good as mine.
|
| Oh really? You'll sing a different tune when all of your charming tricks fail to work.
|
| Please, I planned on beating you the old fashioned way anyway. But don't assume that just because you're gay that I can't work my wiles on you.
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| What!? No, no, I meant that because I'm a reploid! Not because I'm gay!
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| Oh, so you ARE gay?
|
| Agh, no! That's not what I meant!
|
| Sure sounded like it from here.
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| Dammit, stop twisting my words!
|
| Methinks he doth protest too much.
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| Definitely.
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| Gah, come on Nate, help me out here.
|
| Alright guys, that's enough. So Zero, any thoughts on your match besides not getting charmed?
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| I need anything else?
|
| Honey, just because you can dodge my nuclear bomb doesn't mean I don't have more conventional weaponry to take you out with.
|
| Hah, like what?
|
| She's a pretty accomplished swordsman, actually.
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| And that mystic magic stuff can kill any idea of a fair fight.
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| I hate to say it, but she has her bases covered pretty well.
|
| So it's a swordfight, is it? My specialty.
|
| I'm well aware. Actually, I am hoping to get a good demonstration of your technique during the match.
|
| Aaaand before this turns into a PC bonding moment, we're moving on. Have fun in the finals you two, beat each other senseless for me.
|
| Should I get the middles out here?
|
| Not just yet. I'm taking over for a moment to bring in a pair of very special guests. Everyone please welcome Yosuke and Greg.
|
 | How's it going?
|
 | 'Morning.
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| I don't recognize these bums. What's going on, Nate?
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| I'll let them explain that. Yosuke, you have the floor.
|
| Thanks. Alright, here's the deal. Greg and I are here representing our respective games, Persona 4...
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| And Wild Arms 5.
|
| And we've got a couple things to say about the ranking process. That's right, both of our games are up for ranking right now, and we'd appreciate it if anyone interested in the process would head on over to the forums to check it out and vote on what division they think we should all end up in.
|
| Also, if you haven't gotten around to playing either of our games yet, you might want to since there's usually a flood of new blood right after a ranking.
|
| So, Nate, just how much are the repairs to that fourth wall over there gonna cost this time?
|
| Hush you.
|
| What's this fourth wall business about?
|
| It's that wall over there that's supposed to be between us and the audience, so we can't address them directly. My crew has spent so much time inside a TV within a TV that we can kinda see right though it though.
|
| Oh, that thing. Yeah, I think Dean was having a little too much fun with Asgard and crashed through it the other day. We haven't gotten it fixed yet.
|
| Even though you've got a broken wall following you everywhere?
|
| Eh, we're a PC cast, we're used to horrible wreckage following in our wake.
|
| Isn't that the truth.
|
| Well, if you gentlemen have said your piece?
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| That's it from me.
|
| Yup.
|
| Then let's get back on track and bring in the Middles. Chisato?
|
| Sure thing. Please welcome our middle guests who aren't getting any special introduction since they're both a couple of arrogant muscleheads, Nash and Flay!
|
 | What? I'm a MAGE! How can you call me a musclehead?
|
 | You're certainly quick to flex your magical muscle.
|
| ...that doesn't even make sense!
|
| The sharper among you will notice that he didn't bother refuting the arrogance charge.
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| And Flay didn't bother with either.
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| Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.
|
| Is that so?
|
| Well, maybe if the sticks are made of lasers and the stones are giant boulders. I am a pretty strong guy.
|
| I meant the words will never hurt you part.
|
| Oh? Hmm, perhaps with a sufficiently large dictionary. But if you could pick up something that heavy, you'd have the sense to use a more convention weapon anyway.
|
| Forget it, I know when I'd be wasting my time. So Nash, have anything that isn't indignation at being called a musclehead to say?
|
| I bet Nash wishes he had some Indignation going for him. But maybe not, he'd have to be a Tales mage then. And we all know how well those do around here.
|
| ...
|
| Hah, I'll show this guy a thing or two about words hurting. Maybe he'll have something different to say when I turn him to stone with a quick spell.
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| Except then he'll be made of stone and won't be able to talk.
|
| Uh, well, sure.
|
| Does getting turned into stone even hurt, anyway?
|
| Um...actually I guess not. It's supposed to be pretty painless.
|
| Haha, then I still win! Even your magical words will fail to actually hurt me.
|
| Tch, fine! How about I shove some lightning down your throat then?
|
| Oh yeah, get into a slugfest with FLAY. That'll win you the match.
|
| ...huh. Yeah, you're right. It's the match that's important. Fine, have your little victory over 'words', I'll still be holding the title when the dust clears.
|
| Grr, why'd you have to say something? He almost fell for it!
|
| Wait, that was a trap?
|
| I think we've somewhat underestimated Flay's intelligence.
|
| Don't think you've beat me just yet! A true hero must always have a contingency plan!
|
| Yeah, I bet. I'll see you in the arena.
|
| Hmph, to the Flay cave!
|
| Hey, get back here! I didn't tell you two the interview was over!
|
| Too late, chief. Take it out on the Lights, I guess?
|
| Yeah, why not. Haul 'em in.
|
| Introducing from Light, the always annoying Mars Adept, Garet, as well as the last and least of the three Lunar finalists, Mia!
|
 | Annoying? Hey, I'm not annoying, right Mia?
|
 | Er, of...course you're...not. Garet. Haha...
|
| There's really no need to be that nice around here. Just let him have it. Trust me, it's fun. I do it all the time.
|
| Oh no, that wouldn't be ladyli...uh...
|
| Care to finish that thought?
|
| Not really, no.
|
| You sure? I said that kind of thing was okay around here. Spit it out.
|
| Hey, leave the lady alone!
|
| Uh, anyway, what about the interviews?
|
| We are running low on time. Get to it people.
|
| Bah, fine. Garet, do you think you'll win?
|
| Of course I will!
|
| Mia, do you think Garet will win?
|
| Hmm, probably, but...wait, hey! That wasn't nice.
|
| I have no idea what you're talking about, it was a perfectly legitimate question. Anyway, there we go, Light finished.
|
| That was a pretty short interview.
|
| You got exactly the time that you're worth.
|
| So are we all done here?
|
| Not quite. I have an announcement to make about the schedule of the show in the future.
|
| This sounds suspiciously like less hours for me.
|
| You've got a good ear then. I'll go ahead and lay it out straight. Next week is going to be the last regular, weekly broadcast of Behind the Scenes.
|
| Wait, wait, wait, we're getting CANCELLED!?
|
| No, not cancelled. The key word here is 'weekly'. As of next season, Behind the Scenes will only run three times a season, on weeks one, three, and five.
|
| So why's this happening all of a sudden?
|
| Mostly it's writer problems. This is a tough show to write for and our writing staff needs a bit more time between shows to get their scripts together.
|
| What, that's all? Come on, just let us write our own material then.
|
| I do not have language strong enough to properly reject that idea. You're going to have to settle for a simple Hell No.
|
| Well, guess I can't object to fewer workdays. Though I'll miss doing the show every week, definitely.
|
| I'm sorry, but it really can't be helped. Next week's show is still on schedule though, so don't start your slacking off just yet.
|
| Can't start what we never stopped.
|
| And lines like that are why I will never let you write your own scripts. Anyway, Chisato, close us out.
|
| Right. Well folks, you heard the boss man. Looks like your weekly dose of abuse and bad jokes is getting cut to every other week, but that doesn't mean the jokes will get any better, so keep tuning in. This has been Behind the Scenes, and from all of us here in the studio, we hope you enjoy the finals. Oh, and remember to check the forums to take part in the rankings for Persona 4 and Wild Arms 5. Kazan will have a handy link for you right at the top of this very page. Enjoy the week folks. |
I, Kazan, bid you welcome to the RPG Dueling League, dedicated to the art of pitting the greatest warriors of the RPG Multiverse against each other in honourable combat! Within lies the greatest showcase of fighting talent you will ever lay your eyes upon!