Hola, bonjour, and welcome back to the RPGDL, dear readers! It's the beginning of our twelfth season, and as usual, we've got an impressive line-up of fighters great and small ready to fight it out for your enjoyment! This season, you can expect to see plenty of dragons, vampires, elves, and even famous heroes as the season progresses, culminating with four newly crowned division champions. Before you check out season twelve, though, head on over to the Results Page and check out the final results from season eleven, week six. Was Rashidi, with the aid of the lower division champs, able to get his revenge on Melfice? Who proved worthy of a higher division, and who was relegated to fade into obscurity in a lower one? The answer to these questions awaits you inside, dear readers! With season eleven come and gone, your next stop should be the Arena, where season twelve is just getting underway. Big Joe, the most famous of all of Light's celebrities, finds himself facing last season's Light champion in his debut match; will he pull through with a great finish? In Middle, Gordon, Defender of Earth, must face off against Seifer, in a battle to decide who is the truest and most heroic knight. In Heavy, legendary guardian Auron must draw upon all of his willpower and resolve to face down a death-dealing vampire with no qualms about killing the already dead. And in Godlike, Riou finds himself face to face against one of his greatest adversaries in the Highland Wars once more: the dreaded Luca Blight! In addition to these featured matches, there are plenty of other fights to check out, including a new bonus designed just for you, dear readers! Also, don't forget to check out the The RPG Strategy League! Nikeah has fallen, but will the efforst of Locke and Banon delay the Empire enough to avoid total disaster? The only way to find out is to check it out for yourself, dear readers! And finally, stop on over by the RPGDL Forums, and register an account. It's a good, just community with plenty of active and devoted members who would love to hear your opinions, thoughts and ides for the RPGDL at the RPGDL Discussion Board. Or if you're more of a fan of inane ramblings, head on over to the Social Boards, and start talking! And now, I'd like to hand the floor over to Chisato Madison, who apparently, has an extra-special Behind the Scenes this week: Chisato, I have to say: this has to be the most inefficient, inconceivable and outlandish idea you’ve ever had. Er…didn’t you agree to this when she brought it up? I did, yes. That still doesn’t change the fact that this will probably end with half of the guests getting killed. Isn’t that the usual weekly result? It is. Now shut up. You’re going to take part in this, and you’re going to like it. Right, right. What exactly is this again? It’s RPG Squares. It’s like a tic-tac toe game, with one major exception: each of the nine squares has one of this week’s fighters in it, and to take control of the square, they must answer my question correctly. Two contestants take turns calling on squares until they get three in a row. Simple. So…who are the actual contestants? You and my paperweight here. Gyah…I knew I had a bad feeling about this. Shove it. Ultros, roll the cameras. It’s showtime! Er…Roger chief! Welcome back to the start of another season here at the RPGDL! For the start of Season Twelve, we’ve got a special episode of Behind the Scenes for you this week: we like to call it RPG Squares! Our two players, Odin, Lord of the Gods and obsessed cleaner of bathrooms, and Morte, famous paperweight and wise-cracking skull, will be competing for a fabulous prize: a full year’s health and accident insurance coverage! There…is a god… Yeah…and I thought you were him, or so you like to keep telling us. Yes, yes, save your smart-assery for the actual show. Now, for our nine panels: in the top left square, hailing from the Light division and the world of Xenogears, please give it up for Big Joe! Hey, hey! Your favourite fighter is here! In the top middle square, hailing from Middle and the whacked-out world of Disgaea, please welcome Gordon, Defender of Earth! Never fear, your defender is here! It’s falling apart already. From Heavy, hailing from Golden Sun and residing in the top right square, please welcome Isaac! … From Godlike, hailing from the world of Suikoden Two, and in control of the middle left square, please welcome Luca Blight! Pigs! All of you are pigs! In the middle right square, our second Light competitor, hailing from the wonderful world of Chrono Cross, please welcome Luccia! Magic is no match for sci…ouch! What idiot dares steal my line? From Middle, residing in the bottom left square, please welcome last season’s Light champion, Lufia! Hi Nameless Red-Headed Hero! In the bottom middle square, hailing from Suikoden Two, please welcome Sierra! The pleasure is all mine. And last but not least, hailing from Godlike and residing in the bottom right square, please welcome Yuri Hyuga! Why did I agree to this? I’m wondering the same thing. With introductions out of the way, let’s get started. Let’s start with… Er…Chisato? Yes? Did you happen to fail basic math? There are supposed to be nine squares filled, but right now you only introduced eight people. …oh. Uh…oops. Let me check my notes…somewhere….ah, found it. So there was a ninth square? Damn, for once she’s on the ball. Yes, I am. Now, please welcome our final square, the central square, you’ve surely seen her before, Whoopi Goldberg! … … …Bwhahahahahahahahahahaha! …Whoopi Goldberg?! Who’s idea of a sick joke is thi… Sorry I’m late! … Oh man, this should be one great show. I can feel the excitement in my bones. …Odin, pick a square. Alright. Well, since I’ve always been a fan of glasses, I’ll take the Chrono Cross scrub Odin takes Luccia. Just what I wanted to hear. Quiet. Ahem, Luccia, first tell us a little about yourself. Well, I’m most definitely not Lucca, if you were thinking that. …you’re not? No, I’m not. I have an extra “I” in my name. Definitely not Lucca. Great to know…now onto the question. Luccia, which member of your cast was the first to win a fight here at the DL? That’s easy: Dario back in season two. Took a Heavy championship while he was at it, and upgraded to Godlike. Odin, do you agree or disagree? I agree. I voted for him. Go Dario! … I thought the Dario fanboys went extinct a long time ago? …anyway, that is correct. Odin…what are you? Omnipotent lord of the gods, duh. No, no: are you “x’s” or “o’s”? Oh…definitely “o”, for Odin, lord of the gods! Hey! Good job Moppy! You learned how to spell your own name! Have a freaking cookie. Anyway…circle gets the square. Morte, your pick. Finally. Let’s see…ah what the hell: I’ll take our fearless Defender of Earth. An excellent choice, dear citizen of Earth. I, Gordon, Defender of Earth, shall do my best to protect you as… …goodbye, health insurance. We’ll see about that. Now Gordon, as Defender of Earth, what’s your goal for fighting this week, after many, many seasons of being passed over? My goal is to prove that a true defender’s spirit is all you need to overcome any adversity! This Seifer fellow is a menace to the poor, undefended citizens of Earth, hardly Defender of Earth material. I shall give him a spanking of justice he shall not soon forget! Spankings of Justice are my domain! Oh put a sock in it Leo. You…you must be mistaken! I am Mystere, who is most definitely not Leo! I am the avatar of justice! Anyway…Gordon, your question: Based upon time dilation principles set up by modern Earth scientists, would you consider time travel within a closed space with a load of fifteen kilograms possible, ignoring the effects of exterior forces? I…I…uh…yes? Morte? I think it’s safe to assume this guy’s got a head full of concrete, so I’ll disagree. Correct. “x” gets the square. Odin, your pick next. Hm…I’ll take Isaac. Alright then. Isaac, you’ve finally gotten a chance to show the world that Golden Sun isn’t populated by overwhelmingly overrated fighters: do you think you can bring a commendable name back for the game? … That’s an interesting point. Anyway, onto the question: who was the first ever DL fighter to get a back-to-back Godlike championship? … …what? I can’t understand what he’s saying! I need an answer, Odin. Uh….I’ll disagree. Incorrect. What!? That is so unfair! This stupid kid can’t talk, and I’m losing the match because of it! Whatever. Morte, your pick. Gyah! I’ll take the other Light scrub for the win. Mind specifying which one? Oh, fine. Joey for the win. Fantastic! Someone finally has called upon me, the famous, popular, and amazing Big Joe! I never fail to disappoint! Right. Let’s move onto the question. Aw…no pressing philosophical and mind-boggling questions? Not when I don’t think the panel can handle the words I’ll be using. Anyway, Big Joe: what is the airspeed velocity of a swallow? I don’t know…African or European? I’ll agree. Correct. Morte gets the win. But…that wasn’t an answer! It’s what’s written on the note card. So, I suppose you win the year of health insurance. All I need you to do is sign this contract here, and we’ll be done. Alright, just…sign…. …hahahahahaha! Can’t you sign it? No…hands… Oh well, guess the prize is null and void. Too bad. …I hate you. Now watch yourself…you’re starting to sound like Tidus now. Er…hey, Chisato, what about the rest of the squares? Eh…whatever. We’re done for this week. What?! How dare you pigs call me out for this stupid and senseless distraction from my slaughter of innocent people, and not even have the common decency to give me my glorious pre-battle interview?! I’ll just have to make up for it by slaughtering everyone here! Eh, whatever. They’re off my hands now. But…but we didn’t even get our interviews yet! Hahahahaha! Die pigs! Well, looks like I was right after all; we did end up with a huge slaughter after all. Er…cameras off? Yes.