 | I hope you know what you're doing.
|
 | Don't worry. Everything's going according to plan. It won't be long before...
|
 | Before what?
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| Gah! Don't sneak up on a guy like that! You'd give me a heart attack, if I still had a heart.
|
| Yeah, I really feel sorry for you. What were you planning, bonehead? And where's Odin?
|
| Nothing you need to worry your pretty little... well, your little... just don't worry your head about it.
|
| Fine, but I'll be watching you closely, and if I see anything even slightly suspicious, you'll be picking your teeth up individually.
|
| And with that pleasant note, let's start rolling.
|
| Welcome to Behind the Scenes, where we ask the questions that nobody else wants to, to give you the inside scoop on the RPGDL. My first guest today is our reigning Godlike Champion, Ryu the Fourth. How are you today, Ryu?
|
 | ...
|
| Very interesting. Do you anticipate any problems with your title defense against Nate this week?
|
| ...
|
| Really? I would have expected a little more caution from you, Ryu.
|
| Hmm... rest.
|
| Gah! It talked! Kill it! It's obviously an imposter sent to assimilate us!
|
 | Get real, lass. We gave up that idea a while ago to pursue our quest of domination through... I mean, you heard nothing.
|
| Chisato, this Ryu can speak. He just has a very limited vocabulary.
|
| He won't be saying anything until he gets back up. You clocked him pretty good, lady. Are you sure you're only a Light?
|
| Ahem, sorry about that.
|
| ...
|
| Let's meet our other Godlike interviewee, Loki.
|
 | Hahaha! I have proven myself the supreme god among gods! How do you like that, Odin? Odin? Where's Odin?
|
| He's a little preoccupied at the moment.
|
| How do you expect me to gloat, when the one person I most desire to gloat against is not present?
|
| Why not use projection? Just look at the brick wall at the back of the studio and pretend it's him.
|
| It'll be a stretch, but I'm sure the wall will be more than happy to dumb down to Odin's level. And if not, he'll still have to watch the broadcast later on anyway.
|
| Very well. You think you're so high and mighty, Mr. "Lord of the Aesir"? Now, I have defeated you and your wife. Now, you know the price for taking the last cup of mead without asking if I wanted it first!
|
| Wait, this whole rivalry is over a drink?
|
| That, and the fact I never got a good seat at the table.
|
| I'd mock you, but the challenge is gone.
|
| Thank you for your time, Loki. The exit's to your left.
|
| What, no questions about how I'll obliterate the High Summoner of Spira?
|
| No. Goodbye.
|
| Do you think we should tell him about the mead in the green room?
|
| Hey, if you want him to stick around...
|
| Representing Heavy this week, we have the Lady Harken and... why is there only one Heavy this week, Ultros?
|
| I tried to get Rune to come, but he refused. Something about "getting the stench of Grandia out of his robes" or something.
|
| Fine. It just makes my job earier. Now, Lady Harken...
|
 | Please, there's no need for such formalities.
|
| Trust me, there is.
|
| You can just call me Elmina.
|
 | And you can just call yourself busted! Lede, Spoiler Squad 4th Division Reserves. You're coming with me, Harken!
|
| And if I refuse? What can your knives do to me, little one, that I cannot do a thousand times worse to you?
|
| Ladies, take it outside. We just refinished the stage and I'd like to keep it in good shape for at least one week.
|
| Besides, what's the fun of a fight like that when there's no cooking oil or mud for miles?
|
| Morte, you do realize that they're both demons, right?
|
| And your point is...
|
| Never mind, I forgot who I was talking to for a minute there.
|
| If you're through acting like pigs, we have Frog here from Middle, and it's been waiting patiently for an interview.
|
 | I take exception to thy claims of "it", lass. I be a man, though one transformed by vile magics.
|
| Frog, if you could say anything to your opponent this week, what would it be?
|
| I hath nothing but respect for Ershin's prowess on the battlefield. I consider it a great loss that one of us shalt fall this week., but I wilt not hold back my true power.
|
| And I'm sure that Ershin will do the same. What do you say to your critics, who think that you should never have left Light?
|
| I respect the right they possess to have an opinion, but I cannot say that I agree. I hath spent much time improving mine skills, and 'tis my honour to compete in the name of the Kingdom of Guardia.
|
| Thank you for your time.
|
| I must say, 'tis refreshing to have a truly proper interview. For a moment, I couldst do naught but fear for mine healthhhhhh...
|
| Oops. My finger slipped.
|
| Accent finally got to you, huh?
|
| There's only so much a lady could take.
|
 | Oh really? Well, when a lady shows up, I'll have to ask about that.
|
| Hello, Ryudo. Say, could you move a little to the right?
|
| What, so you can launch me like you did to big green over there?
|
| No, not at all. It's so when i push this button, you don't fall down the pit.
|
| I hate youuuuuu...
|
| That was a little premature. He's usually a good interview.
|
| Don't worry. There are some pillows down there. He'll be fine. I just wanted to make a point.
|
| *THUD*
|
| Look! I found these pillows on the ground, so I made a fort!
|
| ...Who do we have for Light?
|
| Nina the Third and Mallow. Think we can get at least one of them to cry?
|
| Frankly, I'd be disappointed if we didn't. Let's start with Nina.
|
 | Hi!
|
| How do you defend yourself from the allegations that you're a weakling?
|
| What do you mean?
|
| Ultros, can we get some quotes here?
|
| You got it. Let's see, Nina's been claimed to be "the weak link", "a mistake in the Wyndian family genetics", "hopeless", "the embodiment of all that is wrong in the world"... should I continue?
|
| Oh, that. They're just trying to get me mad so I show my true power.
|
| Your true power?
|
| You know, like when Edge got all mad and he got new spells. It's sweet of my sisters to try and help me like that.
|
| I thought Gilder was the one with the Aura of Denial.
|
| It's true. They love me, and that's why they make fun of me and shun me at the family get-togethers and never invite me over for tea and use me for target practice and...
|
| Let's leave her to her cute little lies and move on to Mallow.
|
 | What you did to Nina and Frog wasn't nice. You should show more respect to your guests.
|
| Yeah, we should. That doesn't mean we're going to.
|
| Why do you think you can win your match this week, Mallow?
|
| Well, Bazba's pretty strong, but I think I can use my spells and beat him before he gets me. I can make a snowman, you know.
|
| Really? What's his name? Bob? Beowulf?
|
| Lord Destructor the VII.
|
Well met, dear readers of the RPGDL! The eliminations are done, and thus it's time for the quarterfinals! Only the best, brightest, and toughest of warriors have made it this far, and they look to continue forward until they reach the championships!