 | Welcome to Behind the Scenes, the talk show with more punches than punchlines. On tonight's show, we'll meet with old-school incarnations of destruction, and overconfident magi. And now, the star of our show, Miss Chisato Madison!
|
 | Thanks, Gilgamesh. Our first guests are a pair of Light thieves. Say hello to Karn and Gijimu.
|
 | Hey there, pretty thing.
|
 | Hi.
|
 | First things first, I'm sorry that you have to go, Karn.
|
 | What do you mean?
|
 | I'm thinking she's none too happy over your "pretty thing" comment.
|
 | Quite right. Now, Ultros, if you could escort him to his doom...
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 | I don't think so. I don't want him to use his merging powers on me.
|
 | Yeah, and as appealing as having a body to call my own again is, that one isn't... well, it just isn't.
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 | What you need is someone who not even Karn would be willing to fuse with to escort him out.
|
 | Of course. So...
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 | Already done.
|
 | What?
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 | I threw him to Penance while you were talking. I knew you were going to ask me anyway.
|
 | Why Odin, that was positively...
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 | ...competent.
|
 | Thank you... I think.
|
 | Now, Gijimu, you're back to compete in Light after a short foray into Middle and a long vacation. Do you think that you'll be a bit rusty?
|
 | Of course. Doesn't matter.
|
 | Why?
|
 | Ol' Lepant's going to be a bit distracted since Eileen got thwacked, especially by someone with Edge's reputation.
|
 | "Thwacked"? Is that what they're calling it nowadays?
|
 | See? It's guys like the bonebox that are going to win it for me. It doesn't matter what the truth is, so much as what he thinks it is.
|
 | That makes sense. Our next guests are the ever-changing Pip and the double-dealing Setzer.
|
 | Only when I double down, my dear.
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 | Hi!
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 | Gee, Pip, you seem rather chipper today.
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 | I get to see de world! I waited so long for it.
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 | Do you think you can win?
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 | Maybe. I have de power to do my best. Dat's all. It's more de twip dan de destination.
|
 | I couldn't agree more.
|
 | That's just because you love your stupid airship.
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 | The Falcon is NOT stupid! You take that back, right now!
|
 | Oh, please, like you could take me by yourself, prettyboy.
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 | It's not over until the last die is cast. So bring it on!
|
 | But I thought we were going to talk about his upcoming role in...
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 | Corporate shilling or senseless killing. I know what my vote is.
|
 | Gilgamesh, keep a camera trained on our two FF6 foes and introduce our next guests.
|
 | Right. Welcome Luc and Edwin, and please don't let your megalomaniacal habits influence you while your here, for your sakes.
|
 | ...whatever.
|
 | Hmmph. (Like I'd take orders from some flunky.)
|
 | Well, I see that Luc's back into angst mode.
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 | All existence is misery. We live to die.
|
 | So what happened now, Luc? You run out of orange juice?
|
 | No, no, it's obviously that his favorite shoes got scuffed.
|
 | Maybe he found out that we've been renewed for another season.
|
 | Quiet, you.
|
 | (My my... the ability to control a sentient mimir without a spell... she must be truly impressive. A fitting concubine for when I rule.)
|
 | (You know she can hear you, right?)
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 | (Silence, cur! Do not intrude upon my inner monologues!)
|
 | (But they're not inner if you speak them out loud.)
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 | Die!
|
 | Hey, wait...
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 | How depressingly violent.
|
 | Right. Um, Ultros, if you could drag those two off by you so we could finish the show?
|
 | I think I can spare a hand or two.
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 | Get back here, you boneless bas...
|
 | Right. I'm just going to let the physical representations of destruction and entropy in myself.
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 | I mean, and my so-called "new look" wasn't all that appealing. I like the sword, it's a nice touch, but it wasn't as fearsome as I had hoped or remembered.
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 | Bah! Just be glad that you lived in a time where your own look was the worst you had to think about. I was just grateful that I finally got a bloody background.
|
 | Boys...
|
 | Oh, hello Chisato.
|
 | I guess it's time for our interviews?
|
 | Quite right. Now... come to think of it, are any of your answers going to be different if I just ask general questions?
|
 | Probably not.
|
 | I mean, if you've seen one physical representation of anger and hate, you've seen them all.
|
 | And since we've got three of them in the studio right now...
|
 | Morte? Run.
|
 | Well, more like hover, but all right. Catch me if you can, Red!
|
 | Looks like I'm the only one without a sparring partner, so I get to close the show! Great. Well, we'll see you all next week, for another exciting installment of Behind the Scenes! |