 | Uwehehe! Welcome to my barbecue!
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 | Hello out there in TV land. This is Ultros, for Behind the Scenes. You see, normally we'd be in the studio, getting things set up for the latest installment of your favourite show. However, since we're all lazy...
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 | I'm not!
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| Since everyone that matters is lazy, we figured we'd just go to Kefka's celebratory barbecue and piece together a show from that. Sorry about the camera work, but I'm going handheld today. Anyway, on with the show.
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 | Ah, barbecue. Meat and fire. If there was only cries of pain and suffering, it would be the perfect event.
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| Just wait until you eat, and you may get your wish.
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| Speaking of which, can I have a porkchop?
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| I'm sorry, I don't serve pork. It gives me hives.
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| No pork... no... no pigs...
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| I do have fried Chocobo wings. I hope those will do.
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| You did that on purpose.
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| Surely you jest.
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| No, that's your role, isn't it, Clown boy?
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| Ooh! Just for that, I won't put as much barbecue sauce on your burgers.
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| That was... surprisingly tame.
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| It's the offseason. We can't be expected to be insane violent oppressors all the time.
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| Exactly.
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| Right. I'm just going to go over there, all right?
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| You do that.
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| I have to tenderize the meat again anyway.
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 | No! Help! For the love of all that's holy, Mr. Octopus Man, you have to help me!
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| Tut tut. All your yelling is going to make the tendons stringy. We'll have to do something about that. Uwehehe!
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| Can I help?
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| I'd be insulted if you didn't.
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| NOOOOOOO!!
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 | Behind the Scenes would like to note that we in no way, shape or form condone cannibalism.
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 | Then why aren't you helping her?
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| Because I'm working on my tan.
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| True. You have been looking a little pale lately.
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| Isn't that a little bit like the pot calling the kettle black?
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| I have an excuse. He doesn't.
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| Besides, we all know that they won't actually go through with it.
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| We do?
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|
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| That's right, we do.
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| Fine. But if anything gets described as "soylently succulent"...
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| Baby.
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| Vamp.
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| You know it.
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| Hey boss, have you seen Chisato anywhere?
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| I think she was playing volleyball last I saw.
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| Do we really want to get that on camera?
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| You'll see...
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 | A little to the left...
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 | I can't believe she's making us push the catapult around on our day off.
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 | You're surprised? Come on, Odin - you had to expect something like this.
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| Yes, but I was hoping to work with someone who could actually push!
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| I'm doing all I can. At least it's better than being the ball.
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 | MMMph!
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| Don't worry, sweetheart, we adjusted the aim, and we're almost certain that you'll actually go over the net this time.
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| Mmph! MMMELP!
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| Her gag's starting to come undone.
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| Then we (and by we I mean you) better hurry.
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| Fine, we should be ready.
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| Good. Insult my serving skills, will you, Aggie? We'll see. Fire!
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| Aaaaahhhhh!
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 | Elc, the trampoline, if you will?
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 | Sure thing.
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| Aaaaaahhhhhh!!
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| Get under her!
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| Oof!
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| Full points for following orders, Odin, but I don't think that's quite what Chisato had in mind.
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| Better him than me... Hey, I think you can actually see where his bones are broken! Get a closeup!
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| Can't... wait... for VP2... then I'll show you al...
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| And he's out cold. What's the state of hired help if they can't survive being crushed by a falling body?
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| And that's matchpoint.
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| Good game.
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| Thank you. You didn't do so badly yourself. Congratulations. I'd offer to shake your hand, but you'd probably think it's a trap.
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| Why, thank you. Perhaps it's time we buried the hatchet. Put 'er there... and I'm standing on the catapult, aren't I.
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| How good of you to notice. Pull!
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| Gaaaaaahhhhhh...
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| Why does anyone trust you?
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| You know, I ask myself the same question every... pull!
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| But I'm not on the catapult?
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| No, but you will be if you know what's good for you.
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| Right. And while more violence is tempting, I think it'd be a good idea to see what Sigurd is up to.
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 | I don't know why I'm depressed. I won seven in a row. I may earn an upgrade to Heavy. So why do I feel so bad?
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 | You know, the fact that you're surrounded in empty Bartweiser cans may have something to do with it.
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 | It's just that you were finally allowing yourself to think about the ultimate goal. You'll feel better later on... well, with the hangover, maybe a little later than otherwise.
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| Nah. Kindness Drops works wonders.
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| Really? Jeane never mentioned that to me...
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| So you're using the power of the gods, in a sense, to stave off the one disadvantage to overdrinking? Boy, Badrach would love you.
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| Shut up and open another case.
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| With pleasure.
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| It's no ambrosia, but it'll do.
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| Ah, the wonders of booze bringing people together once again. Well, I suppose that's all from us at Behind the Scenes. We'll be back in the studio next week, so until then, this is Ultros. Bye.
_ _ _
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| For the last time, it's simple. Dario beat Sofia. Sofia's one of the people I have to beat to stay in Godlike. So if I beat Dario...
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 | But I'm not that Dario!
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| Well, it's too late now. Now get ready for my training!
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| Mommy... |
My friends, I am so happy to see you. I am sure by now you know who won and who lost, but... if you are not aware, then please go to the Results page and find out. Thank you!