Well, well! Welcome to SEASON 29!! Ay, signor! You may call me THE GREAT -MORRIE-!! I will be taking over for Augustine in this MONSTROUS PIT! Si, si, this monstrous pit needs a lot more GUSTO for it to be worth of the name! However, before we get started, you should ensure you go and look at the Results of last season, signors! **Importantion information for newcomers! Please click This Link to go to a post made by our moderators that should hopefully answer several of your questions! If you have any more, simply feel free to go to the forums and ask!** So, everyone... you want to know what kind of epic matches will be happening this season in the MONSTROUS PIT!? Well, let's take a look at a few of my favorite duellers! Purim is someone who impresses me quite a bit! With her multitude of magicks, she has already risen through the ranks! She has made her defeated all challengers in the Heavy pit, but now she has come to challenge Godlike, the highest rank!! Her first opponent is a fellow champion of the lower rank, the most dangerous robotic signora of them all, KOS-MOS!! Which of these upgraded beauties will prove themselves more worthy of the highest rank of my MONSTROUS PIT? This match will be a passionate one, as both of these ladies seek their first win! Passion versus passion! Alys is a signora bella with a very dangerous skill set! She moves at high speeds and her Saner spell can make her almost entirely immune to physical attacks, amazing! However, she faces someone who nullifies quite a few of her tricks! Izlude fights with the fury of a thousand suns! He can Jump high into the air and come down at Alys like a comet! This match will be speed versus durability! Guts versus guts! Duran is another new addition to the Duelling Pit! He is a Knight from the far off kingdom of Forcena, where he trained swordsmanship! He is quite a fearsome opponent in the pit, for he has both the ability to heal and to drain energy from his opponent! However, Sain has a few tricks up his sleeve, as well! He can choose between either swords or lances to face Duran, as well as try to get out of his range and simply attack Duran from afar! Healing versus damage! Glory versus glory!! Finally, we will see a match of much ragazzo! Shady Thousand versus Lezard Valeth! These two WARRIORS OF FURY will have it out for one another! Both of them have been severely underestimated in the monstrous pit by their fans, but no longer! They are going to fight with all their blood and passion against each other... a finale versus finale!! So, tutto, don't just sit there! You should run with GUSTO to the Monstrous Pit and vote, now! Also, little ones, you should not forget about the Not Ranked Monstrous Pit ! It is a place where some amazing matches will occur! People are always welcome at The Forums so please head on over! Newcomes are invited to join and take part whenever they'd like. Now!! It is time you rush with full speed into the The Season 29 Week 1 Topic to place bets on your team! **Everyone, listen! Have you ever wanted to take part in our Bonus Matches? Have you ever had a great idea you thought would make an awesome match? Well here's your chance! Just go to the Bonus Match Ideas Post and read all about it! So, how did you like that?! Did it have enough PASSION!? You bet it did! Well, now it is time for me to hand things over to Chisato and BEHIND THE SCENES! So with that, signors, I bid you good day, but always remember to hold your passion deep in your heart!! It's hot... Wow. Such an amazing observation. "It's hot." You should go on a lecture tour. "Gilgamesh and his Amazing Observations, Part I: The Weather". Sheesh, you're really cranky today. What gives? It's the end part of August, summer is ending, and I have go back to school to get my degree for Advanced VCR Repair if I ever want to make it in the city. Poor guy. And to think all I got was a soft major in Business Management and Macroecnomics. Pipe down, Trust-Fund boy. I had to get my tuition on the streets. Where you got good or you died. Getting good...at...VCR Repair. Okay, clearly the heat has driven Ultros insane. He'd be in good company, then, considering this lot. Where's Morte, by the way? Dunno. I haven't seen him since he went to the beach. Said something about burying himself in the sand and then scaring tourists. And hitting on all the girls he pops up at. Which probably explains why Morte's floating in right now with all those bruises. Note to Self: Being invited to a volleyball game as a 'guest of honor' is not as fun as it sounds. All right, the gang's all here. Let's get things moving, it's hotter than Ifrit's Five Alarm Chili in here. This is what we get for changing our requisition from "Air Conditioning" to "Bumper Cars" when hardly any of us can drive. Anyway, we're on. Welcome, readers, to the beginning of Season 29! We've got some new duellers just raring to go and prove themselves, and of course there are plenty of old favorites as well.  Let's introduce our first Godlike matchup, Diekbeck and Fou-Lu. Greetings. 'Tis a pleasure to see you again. Well, Fou-Lu, it seems that this time you came out the victor in your battle against Kefka. Will Diekbeck fare no better? Diekbeck seems to be an honorable opponent, but with the power of the Dragon I shal prevail.  Confident as always. But don't forget that I am not only a robot, but a legendary robot, so don't think I'll fold as easily as that overpainted jack-in-the-box basket case. I'm sure he's terrified. Moving right along, let's welcome our similar duellers, Ryu the fourth and Asgard. ... Weird, isn't it? So, Ryu. Going to show up your other half by beating Asgard? ... What's that face you're making? Either you're very determined or constipated. ... Eh, maybe it's both. Asgard, what do you have to say? You may be a  Legendary  robot, but I'm still the Citadel of the Gods, which beats your puny tin powers can any day. Oh yeah? What about the  Citadel of the Gods  that's walking around in glasses and her underwear, eh? THAT WAS AN UNLICENSED REPRODUTION! YOU CAN'T PROVE A THING! It's okay, Asgard, we believe you. Well, until we spread this all over the DL. But enough about Godlike, let's move onto Heavy! First up, we have the Knight Blade Izlude, and the Hunter Alys. Hi. Let's hurry up an get this over with, I have a date with Zemeckis tonight and I need to get ready. ...My pleasure. Izlude, what's your strategy for the match? Well, I was goi- Oh, come on  We're wasting time prattling with this noseless freak ...What's a "nose"? Something I'm missing, along with my hair, skin, legs, arms, hands, feet... We get the idea. And as for you, Alys, I think some time in the Pit would improve your attitude. What pi-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH Look, it's a newcomer to our Pro-Norgard Defense League. Sten, pour her a cup of tea. Just when you think Chisato's run out of ideas... Just keep that in mind when you start begging for a pay raise. All right, let's start with the Middles. Greetings, Duran and Sain. Hello! Always a pleasure, my lady. Well, Duran, welcome to the DL. Planning on a big first victory? Absoulutely! My masterful sword skills will quickly make me the eternal champion of this so-called 'Duelling-League'. I mean, it's not like anybody really tough like Koren is here, right? And don't even get me started on the Godbeasts like Dangaard! Or that Harpy! How bad can Zophar and that lot be? This is definitely just a stepping stone. You're my new hero. Man, reality is gonna hit you like a freight train. While I would quite happily go into detail on how I will win this little encounter, I believe my opponents inane babbling speaks for itself. Now, if you will excuse me, I believe I'll ride off into the sunset, preferably with a lady on each arm. Ugh...smarmy little newcomers. Moving on, here we have the Amazon Princess Lise, and her opponent, Tifa Lockeheart. Please forgive Duran. He was dropped alot as a child. But he always recovered. Sadly. I'm surprised he doesn't suffocate putting on his armor. While I'm sure we'd all love to make fun of Duran for the remainder of this show, try to keep focused on the task at hand. Tifa, expecting difficulties from the newcomer? Not really. I've never been better at my boxing skills, and any physical strength that comes from being an "Amazon" is erased by the "Princess" title, by my logic. Oh, please. This is going to be as easy as crushing Rabites, but only half as fun. Strong words, but I guess we'll see. All right, time to wrap up with a look at Light. Welcome, Viki and Mallow. Sorry to inform you, but while she was waiting she sneezed and vanished. Again? Why doesn't she just hold it in? I don't think she ever thought of that. So true. Well, how do you think you'll do in the match? Oh, I'm sure I'll win with my usual healing game. If that doesn't work I can always just trick her into running out of the Arena. It is Viki we're talking about, here. Since Viki seems to be en route to help another silent protagonist and his magical marble, let's move on. Come on out, Lezard and Shady. Hahahaha! Hiya. Lezard, you seem to be in a good mood. Optimistic about your match? This pathetic feline will be no match for my Magicks! And if he survives the first spell, I will wait until I cast another. And Glare! Glare as if into his deepest soul! Ahahaha! ....Right. Let's jus- *WHOOSH* Whoa! Where am I? Is it time for my interview yet? This violates even the most basic ideas of physics. And believe me, I'd know. Don't worry about it. Viki, do you think you can defeat Mallow? Huh? Who's Mallow? I'm Viki! Of course you are. All right, time to get out of here. And since it seems that everybody passed out when Viki teleported onto them, I guess I speak for everybody when I say to tune in next week for more of Behind The Scenes! Why are you staring at me? INTO YOUR VERY SOUL! AHAHAHAHAHAA! Wait, wait, my glasses fogged up...