 | I have a philsophical dilemma.
|
 | I took a college course under the sea. Maybe I can assist you, my multi-appendaged comrade in entertainment.
|
| Does my weapon collecting merely represent greed? Am I merely driven by material wealth and not the true desire to succeed at cutting things? I wrestle with the deepest reaches of my soul.
|
 | Me too. Does my mop signify the desire to clean, or is it a replacement for the protection offered by Gungir? Does the mop truly care for me? If a mop falls in a forest with nobody around, when does it stop being a mop? And why did those mushrooms I found on the floor taste so funny?
|
 | Not that I care, but perhaps we should get Odin detoxed.
|
| Oh, that's silly talk, you...increasingly..attractive woman. How'd you like to come to Asgard with me, hot stuff?
|
 | ...Did...
|
| ...He...
|
 | ...just hit on...
|
| ..Chisato?
|
| ..So very, very wrong...just...
|
| Season XXX has become a black void from which nothing good has transpired. And on that note, put on your happy faces, it's show time!
|
| ..mm? Sorry, I was too busy pounding Odin back into his component elements.
|
| Regret..speaking..so..much..
|
| You're just lucky Nate stopped me. And on that note, welcome back, readers! The End of Season XXX is nigh as the champs have been crowned, the new ranks have been set in, and the losers unmericifally locked and covered with whipped cream! Let's welcome the Godlike finalists, the Summoner from Spira, Yuna, and the Sexy from Shanghai, Yuri!
|
 | So glad to be here.
|
 | I wasn't born in Shanghai, you know.
|
| Yeah, but alliteration is the cornerstone to succesful interviewing.
|
| So, Yuna, you won. Big surprise. What are you going to do now?
|
| Hey, I ask the questions here!
|
| I didn't want to distract you from your drooling over Harmonixer boy over there.
|
| Alas, my good looks and charming personality are a curse. I don't blame you.
|
| Don't think I won't take another chunk out of you, pretty boy.
|
| So, yeah, I'm glad I won and everything. Can't wait to get back in next season!
|
| It's not so bad. Yuna's one of the best and I get plenty of sympathetic attention from Alice now. So I guess we both win.
|
| This is BtS. Nobody wins. Launch the Brahneitron 5000
|
| ...What...sudden..urge...to...hug..Brahne..
|
| ..Bite..me...
|
| Did you...just make two powerful Godlikes attracted to Brahne? You do know I don't pay for your insurance, right? Are you suicidal, Ultros, or have you been eating mushrooms off the ground as well?
|
| The sea is a big place, my Helmeted Hierarch. I'll take my chances.
|
| Actually, the Sea is generally just 3 caves and a bunch of nothing. Or, full of annoying singing crabs and mermaids that have nothing better to do than lust after surface dwellers.
|
| That's..not...good...
|
| While Ultros comes to grips with his onrushing mortality, let's move onto Heavy.
|
 | Victory is mine!
|
 | Victory is also mine! I managed to steal quite the glance. You're mighty fine under those clothes, hunny. <3
|
| Stop Bracelet!
|
| Hah! You call that an attack? That Bracelet is so ugly I could almost di-*thud*
|
| ...So THAT'S how it works.
|
| The power of fashion is a double-edged sword.
|
| So, what's your sister think about your success?
|
| She's jealous, of course, but then again she doesn't have to worry about being drugged and hug-tackling Ted, either. Not to mention..that...incident that we must never speak of ever again.
|
| It truly is a risky position. But enough of that, let's talk to the Middles.
|
 | Yay!
|
 | Stupid stat-buffing grumble grumble healing grumble grumble
|
| So, Lilka, what are you plans?
|
| I believe I'll be headed to Walmart, where I shall purchase Trophy Polish and maybe a new umbrella.
|
| Good. You may leave unscathed.
|
| Bah! This season just wasn't my time. Maybe I should take a break, turn Robo into an unstoppable killing machine, sabotage Worker 8. I can't stay down forever!
|
| Say what you will about mad scientists, they sure do know how to be resilient.
|
| Years and years of wedgies and being blown up due to chemicals and robots that suddenly turn evil will do that to you, Chiefy.
|
| Hey! I got that too and I only managed to invent a shinier mop! Oh, and a perpetual motion machine, but who cares about that.
|
| Hey! In this show we obey the laws of thermodynamics!
|
| Yes ma'am.
|
 | Could we go now? The Season XXX bonanza is starting and we don't want to have to get seats next to the perverts. Not that they get anywhere near me, but it sure is annoying to have to slay them all.
|
 | Yeah, it's a pain having to break all their arms. In three places.
|
| I usually just have Corrine maul their faces.
|
| ...I can see why I lost to you.
|
| You're not too shabby yourself, fella.
|
| ...Fella?
|
| Umm...heylooktheresZidanegottago!
|
| ....but..I'm pretty...
|
| Uh..sure...sure.
|
| I gotta go now...*sniff*
|
| Who was that guy?
|
| I dunno, some martial arts master. Maybe he's related to Yang? They all kinda blend together. All muscles and no brains, you know.
|
| Whereas you're the shining beacon of intellectual thought.
|
| Trust me, I can out-BS any ivory tower egghead you can find!
|
| And yet you didn't even research your escape plan? Come on.
|
| I'm too busy and too rich to be sitting here listening to this. Wrap it up, wage slaves.
|
| You heard the boss. Make sure and tune in next week, and we'll catch you later on Behind the Scenes! Now, where did you put that remote to the Brahneitron 5,000....
|
| Evil ahoy!
|
| You know, I never did like that smarmy Timelord...
|
Aha! The season is over, you say, signor? Nota by a longshot! Now we have the matches between Team Yuna and Team Yuri! It is just like in my ol' Monstrous Pit, ay? But before that, signors... before that, go check an' see the Results of the last week!