| Welcome to Behind the Scenes, pay attention because there will be a test later on. I'm Gilgamesh, along with the usual gang of crazies. And now, the star of our show, Chisato Madison!
|
| Greetings. Well, it's the end of another season. We have our first four-time champion, but that's not to say that the other finalists aren't notable. So let's get started. Our first guests... wait a minute, this can't be right.
|
| Believe it.
|
| But... but... she's from <>Arc the Lad<>!
|
| I know. I'm a little scared.
|
| Fine. Our first guests are Light ch-champion Shante, and runner-up Virginia.
|
| Hooray for me!
|
| Yes, hooray for her!
|
| Aw, they're so perky. Kill 'em.
|
| Hey, be nice to her. She's going through a rough time.
|
| I am?
|
| Of course. You know, the whole retiring of cast and stuff.
|
| And what does that have to do with me? I wasn't retired.
|
| But don't you care about most of...
|
| *sigh* It's unfortunate, yes. But just because we have a minor connection doesn't mean I have to care that much. I mean, you don't even like everyone from your own cast.
|
| Yes, but I don't like anyone. What's your point?
|
| I'm saying that I would like MY interview to perhaps deal with ME, as opposed to other people.
|
| Well, I'd love to...
|
| Great!
|
| ...but I'm afraid our allotted time for Light is up.
|
| Hey!
|
| But what about me?
|
| Oh, go fly off!
|
| On to Middle, with runner-up Marisa and champion Belselk.
|
| Greetings.
|
| Bwahaha!
|
| Continuing on our trend of "let's not talk about the duellers themselves", Marisa, I have a question for you. In recent memory the Fire Emblem invasion has slowed to a crawl. Why?
|
| It's a matter of perspective. When everyone got here, they all wanted to fight. It was expected. But a lot of us got that out of our system. Sure, everyone wants to get in eventually, but it's not as urgent.
|
| So, no more invasion?
|
| I didn't say that...
|
| Beselk.
|
| Yes, oh wicked one?
|
| An impressive run for you this season, with a good chance at making it up to Heavy. How will you celebrate?
|
| By feasting on the flesh of my adversaries!
|
| Um...
|
| Well, that's not quite my bag, demon, but whatever suits your needs.
|
| I have proven demon superiority over pathetic humans. I should rejoice in a suitable manner.
|
| I would like to note, and I'm very ashamed to admit that it's not for the first time, that Behind the Scenes and their staff do not advocate or condone cannibalism.
|
| If he's not human, it's not exactly cannibalism, is it?
|
| Technically, no.
|
| Well then, this is a kind of discrimination, isn't it? I mean, Nate wouldn't take a stand against sushi.
|
| When you own the sets, when you own the company, then you can make the rules.
|
| On to Heavy, with champion Malik and runner-up Emily.
|
| Damn it!
|
| Oh, will you give it up already!
|
| What's going on?
|
| She just won't stop trying to hit me!
|
| You're standing right there? Why won't my punches connect?
|
| Because he has some stupid technical thingamajig that won't let you hit him! Come on, I enjoy suffering, but this is just stupid!
|
| There's no such thing as perfect evasion! Graah!
|
| Why don't you just knock her out and be done with it, Malik?
|
| Because that would be impolite?
|
| Impolite? What the hell kind of Wild Arms villain are you?
|
| The kind that will likely advance to Godlike? The kind that is civilized?
|
| Pathetic.
|
| Yeah! Behind the Scenes is no place for moral superiority!
|
| You can't hit me either, skull.
|
| See, that's where you're wrong, Momma's boy. Because I have one thing that Emily will never have.
|
| Dentures?
|
| A zombie fetish?
|
| A complete lack of morals, decency, and honor?
|
| Close. Actually, it's a big shiny red button to launch you out of the studio.
|
| Gaa!
|
| I'm not even going to bother with that. Godlike?
|
| Yes?
|
| ...
|
| Oh, don't be like that. I won fair and square.
|
| Cold comfort.
|
| So you don't want to be my friend?
|
| No! Do you realize what you've done? With a fourth title, you've cause severe strain to the fragile balance of the Godlike power structure! You could bring about the destruction of all creation!
|
| And the problem with that would be?
|
| It's my job! There's only one thing to do! I have to travel through time and...
|
| Stop!
|
| Oh gasp. What a shocking turn of events. I am on the edge of my seat.
|
| And at this point I have to make the obligatory comment that you can't sit.
|
| You fool, if you enter the time loop again, horrible things will happen!
|
| Name one.
|
| Hey, guess what! I won a match in Heavy!
|
| No... it cannot be!
|
| Most distasteful.
|
| Hey, wait... if you're here, then doesn't that mean that we already went through with it?
|
| Um... well... heylookoverthereit'sadistractionthattotallymakesyouforgetabouttheplotholebye!
|
| Ugh. Let's just get out of here. I hate time travel plots.
|
| Fine. See you next week for Season 33. Till then, farewell, and don't stick your fingers into electrical sockets.
|
| Unless you get it on tape, of course. |