Hello again! Season 33 is upon us, signors, and as always Morrie is here to tell you all about what's going on in the MONSTROUS PIT this week! Of course, you certaintly will want to head over to the Results and see how the last week of Season 32 turned out. **Importantion information for newcomers! Please click This Link to go to a post made by our moderators that should hopefully answer several of your questions! If you have any more, simply feel free to go to the forums and ask!** Though it may not seem like it at first, Kratos and Ness have alot in common. Both are durable physical attackers who also have healing, and lead their respective games in rankings. So who will prove the better? Can Kratos' swordskills make mincemeat out of Ness's unbelivably high HP? Or will Ness's baseball bat knock Kratos out of contention? Steiner and Kyra are both going to be looking to prove themselves in Heavy this week. Both have been neglected for many seasons, and no doubt they're eager to make up for lost time in the most painful way possible. Steiner has plenty of damage....but Krya has her magical shielding. On the flipside, Steiner has plenty of defense himself! This will be an excellent match, signors! On to Middle, where we have a match of tanks! Thursday and Ziggy can both take quite a bit of punishment, and Thursday's skillset and Ziggy's physical prowness allow them to dish out plenty in return! Robot and Cyborg clash in a battle of technology and strength. Who will win, and who will be reduced to a pile of scrap? At last, it is my great pleasure to tell you about the most entertaining Light Match in recent memory, signors! This week, in one corner, we have...a dog. But not just any dog! With all the mystical attackign power of your average housepet, Koichi is given the chance to shine! Bandanna waving proudly in the air, Koichi faces off against...a flower girl. But not just any flower girl! Mariel is the last member of the ancient Elw race on the planet of Filgaia, and what she lacks in defense, strength, or any stat whatsoever, she makes up for with plenty of free healing. Can you FEEL THE GUSTO? The fight will be one for the ages, I assure you! Now that I've given you a taste of this week, head on over to the Monstrous Pit and see what else is in store for you! Don't forget the Not Ranked Monstrous Pit is available if you haven't already stopped by. Join the discussion and participate in the Season 33, Week 1 topic , as I'm sure you'd be welcome, ay? **Everyone, listen! Have you ever wanted to take part in our Bonus Matches? Have you ever had a great idea you thought would make an awesome match? Well here's your chance! Just go to the Bonus Match Ideas Post and read all about it! Goodbye until next week, signors! I'll see you during the next round of Season 33, and until then take care, and enjoy the latest round of coworker abuse and rampant whackiness on Behind The Scenes: Welcome to Behind the Scenes on this glorious ‘morn, dear readers! It’s a fantastic day here at the show, where we’re just finishing our morning coffee and doughnuts our good boss provided for us. Oh, you’re too kind! But I feel these glazed morsels will go right to my hips! Oh don’t be silly! You look fabulous! Thank you Gilgamesh! You’re always so thoughtful and kind. Ah…back to business. So, fleshbags, what’s new this week? Try to fit into your prom dress again, Chisato? Morte, why are you so mean? You know I’ve been trying to work on my figure! The pack of bonbons you ate after last week’s episode really doesn’t support that theory. Besides, that’s what makes it funny. Morte, if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. …what the hell is going on here? Why are you all acting so…nice? Perhaps I can explain that, skull. You see, I spent last week at a convention with Luccia about dimensional travel…or was it Lucca? Anyway, the point of the matter is that it got me thinking, “could we possibly use this to make a cast of, gasp, gentler co-hosts?” And here we are. Took me a bit of searching, but I found a Chisato, Ultros and Gilgamesh that speak more to the softer side of entertainment. So what about myself and Odin? Despite searching twenty-five different alternate universes, I could not find a nice version of you, which is apparently an anomaly. And Odin…well… Foolish mortal! How dare you sick those security forces on me! You shall know my wrath! …an Odin from a universe where Valkyrie Profile: Silmeria was ranked immediately and everyone cowers in fear of him. I’m off, have fun! Oh, Odin, our lovable friend, join us in doing interviews! Odin? You dare address me without the proper title?! Suffer, foolish mortal! Odin! Ahhh…. …in the name of… Oh my god he killed Chisato! You horrible man! …what just happened!? This isn’t right! Foolish mortals watching, now hear this: the All-Father demands supplication! Bring me guests! Yes! Please don’t hurt me! Nate…I’m going to bite your ears off for this. This man is a bit over the top. Indeed. Odin the All-Father, wielder of the mighty Gungnir, demands you praise his power! Fear me, worship me: I am Odin! A bit insecure, aren’t we? Fool! That insult shall be your undoing! Feel the might of my Spiritual Lancer! You can’t break me, boy. Ugh… The Lord of the Aesir is a mighty opponent, foolish elf. Godlike champion? Hah! I have 32 Godlike titles! I’ve slaughtered you in the finals five times already! This shall be the sixth! This is…unparalleled…I have never sensed this power before… …I’m not sure what to say. I need something to fix this…ah! I know! Hold tight while I’m gone, Not-Real Ultros and Gilgamesh! Your sacrifices shall not be in vain! Sacrifices? But we’re not dead yet! But I think we might be if we’re not careful… Indeed! Now silence as I call upon this so-called ‘angel’ to kneel before me! You are inferior to me, man-elf! Kneel before me! I kneel to no one! Sacred Powers, cast your purifying light upon these corrupt souls. Rest in peace, Sinners! Judgement! Is this the best you can do? What a joke. Who is next to challenge the might of the All-Father? Who will kneel before me? This being…so powerful. My friends, help me! Impulse! A mere pinch! Come on Lilka! I didn’t mean to steal your dress, now help me! You didn’t even ask, and then you got mayonnaise all over it! What could you have been eating!? It was just tuna… I’m allergic! End this prattle! You, scarf boy! Capitol Punishment shall be your discipline! Oh no, I’m not getting near this! See ya! Like a scarf blowing in the wind, I’m waving goodbye! Such tired weaklings. Is there no one who can challenge me? Octopus! Die! Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! No! My one true love! Oh, the humanity! This is…so…sad…*cries* Don’t cry! I, Dekar, will save you! Not even a god can defeat someone who doesn’t know how to lose! Perhaps this shall spark your memory! Haaaaaah! Mr. Knight…please…wake up…*cries* All that’s left is Light? What challenge could Light possibly hold for the supreme God? Surely less than even this poor sap! Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! Come now, is that the best you can do? We’re about to find out! Come on puppies! Woof! Bark! Arooo! Grrrr! Wuffy! <3 GET THEM MY MINIONS! FOR THE SWARM! What…no….nnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!! And that, as they say, is that. …I… …Ultros and I are married in another dimension? It’s legal there? It is?! Count me in! …how…disturbing… My alternate, nearly invincible other self has severe dog allergy-induced asthma and never carries rescue therapy with him? Yes. So, explain to me again where Nate got all of you to go to while I performed that maddening show? Gave me the corporation credit card. I went shopping. And I brought the rest of these saps to help carry everything. I suppose this should be a lesson: never trust rich kids. They’ll bring alternate yous in from another dimension. Disturbing mes… So, good job, Morte, I guess. You saved the set, and saved our careers. Fantastic job. Thank you Chisato. You’re so kind. It’s why I love you so much. …no… Hey, you look exactly like…OH MY GOD THE LAST BIT OF FLESH REMAINING ON MY ROTTING SKULL!!!! I think of all the odd things I’ve seen today, that has to be the oddest. You said it, partner. …so the truth does come out. I meant that purely platonically! Yeah right. So readers, this wasn’t the most informative episode ever, but really, what else would you expect? Join us next week when Odin returns to his usual duty of cleaning the bathrooms. I’m Morte, and this is good night from the real universe. Seeya, berks!