 | I hate ranking seasons.
|
 | Haven't we had this conversation already?
|
 | Yes, but it bears repeating.
|
 | But did you really have to go and delete all of their pictures from the database?
|
 | Logically? No. In my own mind? Yes. I feel justified. Besides, they'll fix it soon anyway. I bet halfway through the week, they'll all appear, their ugly fleshy bodies pervading the air.
|
 | I'm just loving the pain this puts you through. And, of course, the pain you put others through. It's like a drug.
|
 | Damnit Ultros, why weren't the cameras on for that one? We could have finally had her!
|
 | But...but then you'd be happy. And we can't have that.
|
 | NO WE CANNOT! LOVE, KINDNESS, HAPPINESS...ALL OF IT IS FOR NAUGHT!
|
 | And here's the first nutso.
|
 | ALL LOVE MUST PERISH!
|
 | Welcome to the RPGDL, Xorn. What's your greatest desire now that you're ranked?
|
 | SADNESS MUST PREVAIL! ALL HAPPY PEOPLE MUST PERISH! THERE IS NO ROOM FOR LOVE IN A WORLD LIKE THIS!
|
 | Hey Chisato, sorry I'm late! I just got Janice a new coat of paint, and she looks wonderful! I'm so happy, I'm off to clean the bathrooms for the second time today! I...
|
 | PERISH!
|
 | OH GOD WHY IS NO ONE HELPING ME!!!???
|
 | Does he really have to ask?
|
 | It's Odin.
|
 | It's a good thing for all the kids watching that we don't have any pictures up of this gruesome massacre. I didn't realize Xorn's eyes had teeth. Anyway!
|
 | Why are you standing by while an ally gets killed?
|
 | It's Odin. No one cares. Besides, he's more of a hindrance than an asset anyway. He can't even clean the bathrooms properly.
|
 | I do not comprehend.
|
 | It's probably safest if you don't. And man, this is so weird to be talking to red x's.
|
 | It's not much different than talking to Odin.
|
 | That's pretty mean. He's not even here to defend himself.
|
 | Yes he is. You just stepped in him.
|
 | Eeeeeekkkk! Asch!
|
 | What? Can't you do anything yourself?
|
 | Great. The only couple in the RPG Universe that's got less sense than Chisato and Vigoro.
|
 | Tch...shut up!
|
 | Oh come on, it can't be that bad - at least Asch and Natalia are a man and a woman. Chisato and Vigoro...
|
 | Finish that sentence, and you're going to Red Lobster as a main course.
|
 | With garlic butter sauce and cheese biscuits!
|
 | I do love those cheese biscuits.
|
 | Isn't that somewhat like cannibalism? I mean, fish eating fish? Don't you feel bad about it?
|
 | For a little bit. Then I have a piece of cake and I forget all about it.
|
 | Tangent aside, let's see if our new guests have anything to say. Gale, Asch, Natalia - what are your goals now that you're getting ranked?
|
 | That Replica! I'll kill him this time!
|
 | I'll promote the kingdom of Kimlasca-Lanvaldear through my victorious use of skilled Lanvaldearian archery!
|
 | To win and discover the secret behind this facade.
|
 | Facade! Everything's a facade! Everyone lies! Life is meaningless! End this sufferring! The pain is endless!
|
 | Man, that's some major depression. Jade, do you have any idea how to fix it?
|
 | BoltX!?
|
 | Good answer, but I wasn't asking you.
|
 | Personally, I think that's the least of your worries right now. There's a fascinating phenomenon about to take place.
|
 | Life is horrible!
|
 | ALL LOVE MUST PERISH!
|
 | If we combined our powers...
|
 | ...NOTHING COULD STOP US!
|
 | Dear gods...they're merging!
|
 | The resulting emo could cause the universe to collapse!
|
 | Aha! You tried to hide on me again! I got a letter in the mail requesting I come to a "Legendary Failure Party". Squall? Seifer? Leon Magnus? Jogurt? How many times do I have to tell you!?
|
 | I don't think this is the best time, Miss Former Puny. Besides, Odin's already been beaten up this week.
|
 | He was? Well, I suppose I'll just leave you alone this week, then. Have fun. Toodles!
|
 | Well, she's a...I got it!
|
 | An idea? Well, I do see the smoke...
|
 | Hey Xorn...Sync...thing! That Valkyrie's happy! Go kill her! She thinks life is worth living now that she's in the finals!
|
 | I think it's working. But boy is she going to be angry at you.
|
 | Nah, it's all Odin's fault. Look at him lying there, looking all innocent. That smug bastard.
|
 | Ah, scapegoats. The only way to explain anything.
|
 | I guess that wraps things up?
|
 | It does. Enjoy the season's finale, dear readers! Rankings are up with fresh new faces arriving, so don't forget to check them out. From the cast of Behind the Scenes, this is Chisato Madison bidding you adieu!
----------Meanwhile, at the Women's Restroom...again...again...----------
|
 | Ah, no Odin to bother me this time. Now...
|
  | Weeeeee liiiiiiiveeeeeeee!
|
 | What are you...OH GOD! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
  | Taste like...Puny...
|