I, Kazan, bid you welcome to the RPG Dueling League, dedicated to the art of pitting the greatest warriors of the RPG Multiverse against each other in honourable combat! Within lies the greatest showcase of fighting talent you will ever lay your eyes upon! Here, you will be able to vote on a series of Battles. weekly where the greatest warriors will square off in combat! Fighters are split into divisions, aptly named for the fighting prowess of those within. The victors each week continue on in a typical eliminations-style tournament, until a victor is crowned champion of each division. Here, you'll also find exciting bonus matches and other spectacles to seduce your battle-starved souls, enough honourable combat to fill even an old man like me with joy! Questions? Go here! In addition, there's another small tournament called Not Ranked, which pits an even wider assortment of unique, secretive and unknown warriors against each other in a similar vein. If you're looking for a favourite, it wouldn't hurt to check that out as well. The DL is more than answering the question of how fighters stack up. It's a repository of information about RPG's varying from the obscure to the well known. Every bit of data gathered from every dank duengon and musty library in the RPG universe is gathered here. If you youngsters want to talk about any RPG of any stripe, you're welcome here. Check out this center of learning and find out new information about your favorite games! Aah, glad I could be of assistance. But before I knock off for a much deserved drink, here's the current news and status of the Duelling League this week: Not Ranked: Not Ranked is open! Send in votes and comments, as this league is built by and for the fans. Week 2 reaches it's end. Will anything be left standing after Brusom and Genshu's brutal battle for samurai supremacy? Hahaha, I crack myself up. Week 3, which starts on sunday evening, features the return of the honorable Don Joaquin to combat. This elderly defender of Earth has plenty left to give, and he intends to show Suzu Fujibayashi how much he has! The great Father Salade also makes his way to the Not Ranked universe to battle veteran SMRPG fighter Jinx. You've done a good job paying attention, students. Now here's Chisato to take you Behind the Scenes! Well, this has certaintly been a weird season. Upgraded Heavy not getting his ass kicked immediately... Seriously powerful Godlike while Light is even more of a joke than usual... A bucketload of characters from, of all things, Shadow Hearts 3... ...And we're halfway done. Plenty of material, though. In the DL, there's always plenty to be made fun of. Like you. Fatty. Words hurt, Odin. You're a real jerk, you know that? Just ruin the whole mood, why don't you? Now I'm too upset to do the show. Oh, I'm sure you can pull through somehow. You'd better, anyway. Just have to not let it bother us. I'm ready to go whenever you are. I'll...I'll just sit here and keep my mouth shut. Try not to ram it shut with twenty hambugers this time, fatty. HAHA! Nice burn, Morte! But... Oh, lighten up, Odin, nobody likes a crybaby. But enough about Odin's many, many shortcomings. It's week 3, dear readers, and you know what that means! More Behind the Scenes action! Without further introduction, allow me to completely ignore what I just said and introduce Ted and Jade! Glad to be here. Do I use BoltX yet? Uh..no. Well, Ted, you've done well so far. Think you can keep up the streak? With the power of the Soul Eater, there's no enemy I can't face! And how are you going to deal with this battle, Jade? Guess. Hint: It's not an animal, a vegetable, or a mineral and it's BoltX. Touche. Pfft. A little lightening never hurt anybody. 1.21 Gigawatts is a 'little'? 1.21 Gigawatts? Great sc- No. Absoulutely not. Your hatred of classic cinema disgusts me. Can it, kid. Can I use Bol- NO! I really liked the part where- NO! Enough! Let's move onto Heavy, shall we? We shall. We shall INDEED. Gentlemen, welcome. Let's start with you, Surt. Well, I can use fire and stuff. I'm sure that an actual deity instead of a half-baked excuse like an angel should be enough to guarentee victory, yes? HMPH! We'll see about that! I am one of the greatest warriors in Celestia, and will not go down that easily! Oh, go polish your halo, stupid twerp. Don't you have some kids to lose in battle too? Big words coming from the man who got outsmarted by a god with serious inferiority issues with a big shiny rock. Big shiny rocks are the key to ultimate power, dude. And it's not like he ended up being turned into vegetation. Look, they're both idiots in their own special, special way. Oh, Surt, you lovable little scamp. I told you to stop talking to me like that! He's so funny when he's angry. Use your inside voice, you rascal. Condescened by Odin of all things! Well, I'm out of here. FLOWERS CAN BE MANLY! Whatever you say, buttercup. Well, get out of here and let's get started on Middle. Hello, Nino. Nice to see you, Canas. If only under better circumstances. The magic triangle puts you as the loser, Nino. But do you think you can overcome that? I've been practicing really hard, so I hope so! I've got plenty of magic books to use. Be that as it may, I doubt you'll ever get past Nosferatu. It won't stop Elfire forever. Little Girl vs. Guy with Monocle. Be there! What's with the massive stat gains anyway, Nino? Hormones. Lots and lots of hormones. I guess that explains the five o'clock shadow. And also why she has a deeper voice than you do. Aren't those illegal anyway? They also cause homicidal rage, and I can quite easily decimate a city block. Uh...on..on the other hand, my recollection of her supposed drug abuse is rather spotty... I heard nothing! I don't even speak English! I mean, no understando wordso! I like you, Nino. You may leave unscathed. Well, let's wrap this thing up. Gepetto, Mia, if you would. Hello. Greetings, young lady. Let's hear your view of the match, Mia. I can stat-buff myself to make things much easier, and that along with my magic should be enough to handle anything. Ah, my dear, but my own magic, not to mention my doll, can put up quite the fight. I don't think your magic would be enough. We'll see, old man. We'll see. Ah, the confidence of youth. Ah, the creepiness of old guys who run around with dolls that resemble dead people. Oh, this again? Come on, it's just a magic doll with special wires that can summon elemental damage. Perfectly ordinary. World War I was a bizzare time. I still can't believe nobody mentions the time when Raspution merged with a death god and summoned a giant dungeon over Petrograd. Or that Anastasia Romanov had a camera that captured people's souls and eloped with a samuraidemon hybrid. Welp, that about does it, I guess. That history is totally bogus. And I know, I studied it up after learning how Hitler was possessed by the living incarnation of chaos. Had to do something in the spare time between murdering things with the vengeful spirit of my butler. Now that's just silly. It's a good thing our Norse mythology world is so sensible and logically consistent. Hey, why are you laughing? Come back here! Classic. Well, that's all we have for you this time, readers. Make sure and come back next week!