 | Mmf! Mrfmr mnf!
|
 | Sorry Chisato, but this is for your own good.
|
 | Not to mention the good of everyone around her. No kidding, it's about time someone locked her up.
|
 |
|
 | Hey Boss, I finally found all the pieces of Morte. Where do you want me to put them?
|
| Just a moment, Odin. Lady, thank you for taking Chisato to the Sanitarium for us.
|
 | ...
|
| It's on Mifune mountain, you can't miss it. Here's a map printout.
|
| ...
|
| No trouble at all. For taking care of this for us, some free promotion is the least I can do.
|
| Woah, you're doing something for free? Hey, what's she wanting to promote anyway?
|
|
|
| Just a small campaign to get her recognized as the actual main character of From The New World so she can join the Silent Mains club.
|
 | I doubt that will be hard, frankly.
|
| Oh, hey Citan! Alot of folks call you 'doc' right? Does that mean you're a real doctor?
|
|
|
| To an extent, yes. I assume you want my help with your problem there?
|
| You can talk to the doctor about your personal problems after the show's over. Places people, we're behind schedule already.
|
| Uh boss, what about Morte?
|
| Just...put all his bits in a bag and put him on Chisato's desk.
|
| Righto!
|
| Nice to see you've gotten everything back under control, Nate.
|
| It was a headache, but it had to be done. So, let's get this interview started. Hmm, Gilgamesh, where's Zelos?
|
| Looks like he's running for his life with Killer on his heels. Hah, I bet that loser tried to cop a feel on Lady on his way in or something.
|
|
|
| Ugh. I really need to stop booking mentally deficient guests. Odin, go see if you can save him and get him in here.
|
| Umm...
|
| Unless my memory is failing me, Lady has a match this week as well. Could she count for your second Godlike guest?
|
| You have a point. Belay that order, Odin. So, Citan, it seems you're up against Magus, one of our bigger names in Godlike. Alot of people claim that as soon as he stops running smack into final bosses, he'll go on a run. Your response to that?
|
| Magus has his share of tricks, but an intelligent and resourceful fighter can get around them all without too much trouble.
|
| Magus is no slouch in the brains department himself. Think he'll have any nasty surprises waiting for you?
|
| I'd be disappointed in him if he didn't.
|
| Fair enough. Well, thank you for coming.
|
| My pleasure. And I'll start drawing up ideas for how to fix you two tonight.
|
| Thanks doc. Yeah, you're a life saver, man.
|
|
|
| No promises though, this particular brand of mad science isn't my specialty. You could be stuck this way for quite awhile.
|
| Oh man. If I'm stuck like this much longer, my girlfreind is going to be seriously mad.
|
|
|
| Your...wait, YOU have a girlfreind?
|
| Hah, hope she likes tentacles, 'cause I bet even the doc can't fix this.
|
| ...oh god, kill me now. Of course she does, which one of us do you think has the girlfriend?
|
|
|
| ...
|
| MOVING ON. Someone get the Heavies out here quick before that mental image has time to sink in.
|
| TOO LATE! Heh heh heh.
|
|
|
 | Sounds like I'm glad I missed whatever was just said in here.
|
| Well you se-
|
 | And I swear if any of you try to repeat it so we can join the horror, I will feed you missiles before you can open your mouths all the way.
|
| -em to be doing pretty good these days Jeremy. How's life been?
|
| I'll take that as you volunteering to do this interview while I go shoot myself in the head a few times to get the demons out. Excuse me.
|
| Think you could shoot me a few times in his head while you're at it, chief? Hey!
|
|
|
| Depends on how much I have left after I'm done.
|
| Umm, sure, I'll do this one. No problem. It's not like I rabidly hate every undeserving mortal in heavy with a better record then me or anything.
|
| Better record? Better check your facts again pal, I'm zip for two. @#$*in' fire emblem.
|
| Ah, I apologize for my failure to fail?
|
| Meh. Just talk about something. Neither of you are worthy of standing in my divine presence anyway.
|
| Huh. Gods can get emo. Who knew?
|
| Who knew? You weren't paying attention when Xorn got in awhile back, were you?
|
| Xorn? Who? Dude, I've spent the last few seasons hunting down and torturing fire emblem scrubs to death.
|
| Basically the God of Emo, he got in right before the break?
|
| Whoah, we had a break?
|
| ...are you stupid or something?
|
| ...
|
| Hey, watch your mouth! I was just busy was all.
|
| Are you insulting the guests, Odin?
|
| Hey, he deserves it. And that was quick, I thought you were shooting yourself in the head?
|
| I decided just to do a few shots instead. Same effect, more pleasant.
|
| Oh. Hey, I wonder how many shots it would take to get Ultramesh drunk?
|
| No, they still got bullets.
|
| Ow, my head... Ow, your head...
|
|
|
| So are we done now?
|
| Sure, why not? Good luck in your matches, gentlemen.
|
| Hey, it's not a @#$*in' fire emblem witch this time, I'll do fine.
|
| Bah, pitiful mortal Heavies, taking up space in the season that could be better used to showcase my magnificence.
|
| Odin?
|
| Hmm?
|
| Go mop the bathroom.
|
| Yes sir.
|
| Gil, Ultros! Stop your moaning and get the middles out here.
|
| Owwwwww.... Yeah, sure thing chief. Uh, hey, you're back for Yuna again? This is middle, not godlike man.
|
|
|
 | ...
|
 | I was pretty shocked when he came and sat down next to me in the waiting room instead of sitting with Citan.
|
| ...
|
| You're not here representing Yuna today, are you?
|
| ...no.
|
| Then who...oh. I'm so sorry, that's gotta be a blow to the old ego there.
|
| Just go ahead and get it over with man. Just spit it out and then you can try to piece your dignity back together.
|
| Mistress Rikku is the single most intelligent, fierce and capable woman in all of middle. She will have no trouble outfighting the pathetic so called "supersquire" that opposes her and similarly crushing all of middle for her second championship.
|
| Did he just... He did, he said that with a straight face.
|
|
|
| Someone give this man a medal.
|
| Wow, this makes the digs about pokemon I was planning on making seem pointless.
|
| There is no force that can oppose her. She has twice over been the savior of her world, destroying Sin once and for all and then facing down Vegnagun. Demons fear to speak her name aloud, seasoned warriors quake at her passing. She is Rikku, and she will claim what is hers over the bloated corpse of middle.
|
| ...
|
| If I didn't know it was Yuna making him say all this, I'd be afraid of Rikku right now.
|
| It's all true though. Even the likes of generals and dark gods fear her. Yeah, they're afraid she'll start talking to them! Ha!
|
|
|
| I wish you hadn't done that.
|
| She isn't making you...she is, isn't she?
|
| I'm...just going to go hide under Chisato's desk. She's not here, she won't mind.
|
| Oh crap, I think we're in trouble. What? She's making him what?
|
|
|
| I have been instructed to visit unprecedented pain upon any who speak ill of Mistress Rikku during this broadcast.
|
| Guys, he doesn't want this anymore then you do. Just head out to the parking lot and take your BolXing like a man. Er, like a pair of men.
|
| Oh man. This is gonna hurt.
|
|
|
| *sigh* This way, gentlemen.
|
| You can come out now Miranda.
|
| Whew, I was afraid he was going to have to do it on the spot.
|
 | Hey, I just saw Jade leaving, does that mean it's our turn?
|
| What? No. I haven't been interviewed yet, go sit down and shut up until it's your turn.
|
| Hey, you can't talk like that to me! I made a better White Silver Dragoon then you ever did!
|
| Oh really? Then why am I in middle and you're rotting in Light?
|
| You did NOT just go there!
|
 | Gentle ladies, thou doth not need-eth to fight like this.
|
| Hush you. Catfights are a ratings goldmine.
|
| Sorry to break it to you Nate, but I've no intention of fighting anyone, not even this little twit, outside of the arena. Some of us have discipline and refinement, after all.
|
| Hmph, you're just afraid that the whole world will see you get beaten up by a Light.
|
| Believe what you will. I have a match with a giant lizard to prepare for, so I'll take my leave now. Excellent meeting you, Sir Turnip, try not to let Shana here steal all the screen time.
|
| The pleasure is mine.
|
| Bah, stupid women denying me a ratings boost.
|
| Hey, I was all ready to fight!
|
| Quiet you, I'm interviewing the vegetable now.
|
| I shall endeavor to answer-eth any questions thou mayst have, good sir.
|
| So from what I understand, you popped out of the ground, sword and armor and all, yes? How did that work?
|
| Explaining such a thing wouldst require-eth me to delve-eth into the hidden history of mine world. Something which thy whipsticthed minion expressly forbid-eth me to do on camera.
|
| Oh god Chrono Cross plot! Keep it away from me!
|
| Yeah, this show isn't rated for that. I'd get sued if we aired it.
|
| It is not-eth that bad...
|
| Neither is eating the cafeteria food in the arena if that's all you've ever had.
|
| Hey, I like the cafeteria food. I'm going to go get lunch after the show, actually.
|
| Madam, thou disgust-eth me.
|
| Huh?
|
| Shana, today's meal is stewed turnips.
|
| Oh, oh no, I'm sorry! I'll go eat some hamburgers instead okay? Don't be mad at me Mr. Turnip!
|
| And with a mighty dragoon pleading for forgiveness from a talking vegetable, I'm going to wrap this up. Enjoy Season 42 ladies and gentlemen, it's looking to be a good one.
|
I, Kazan, bid you welcome to the RPG Dueling League, dedicated to the art of pitting the greatest warriors of the RPG Multiverse against each other in honourable combat! Within lies the greatest showcase of fighting talent you will ever lay your eyes upon!