| Ahh, another hard week's work done with the help of my most esteemed and cherished co-workers.
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| Uhh, we haven't even gotten started yet. You just lying unconscious on the floor drooling a bit.
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| The carpet cleaning bill is coming out of your paycheck, by the day. Of course, since you don't really have one, that just means I'm going to beat you over the head with the bill. After it's been dipped in snake venom, of course.
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| It was all a dream. A beautiful, beautiful dream...
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| What were you doing passed out on the floor, anyway?
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| Well, I was testing the varnish when I just all of a sudden passed out. Must be more tired than I thought. Tastes pretty good, though, so I think it turned out alright.
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| Why did I ask? Why?
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| You...you don't taste...
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| Gil.
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| What?
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| Just...just let it go.
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| Yeah, I guess you're right. Drink all the varnish you want.
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| My liver feels funny. Varnish must be good for it!
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| Immortality: Because there really are people that stupid.
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| Odin bashing aside...
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| Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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| I'll prop the All-Father in the corner and we can get started.
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| Sounds good. Hello, readers! As we reach the midway point of Season 42, all the elimations have been completed and all the duellers strive to continue to the next round! We here at Behind the Scenes give you an interesting glimpse into the fighters that make it all possible! From the Godlike rank, we have Rika and Ryu! For the benefit of the audience, all of Ryu's ellipses have been replaced by random NPC dialogue.
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| Hi!
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| The entrance to the cave is covered with ice. You'll need the FIRE ROD.
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| Let's get started. Rika, the Ryu's are among the most dangerous opponents in the DL. Do you think you can handle it?
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| Well, Ryu's awfully tough, but I think I can off him before he becomes a Dragon, and even then the outcome isn't in doubt.
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| INFERIOR....BEINGS.
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| Uh..huh.
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| He sounds scary.
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| This guy are sick.
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| Yeah, I think that's about enough of you two. Representing Heavy this week, please welcome Arc and Neclord!
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| Hello.
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| Greetings, my dear. It's wonderful to be back.
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| Arc, surely smiting evil is no big deal to you. Can you send the vampire packing?
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| I don't see why not. Invincible should keep me alive long enough to wipe that stupid grin off his face.
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| Ah, my naive little punk, do you think you're first person to try and take me down? First there was that McDohl punk....that really hurt. But then I was back..until I met Riou. After that I kinda disappeared from the series. But I assure you this time I mean it!
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| Dude, you couldn't even get into Suikoden 4.
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| I...I was busy, alright? I'm a vampire, you know, going out at sea isn't really my style.
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| Dracula did it.
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| "Dracula did it, Dracula did it." Pah! If you love Dracula so much why don't you marry him?
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| At least, you know, he requires that you have a special whip and run around a castle for a few days. All it took to take you down was some half-baked vampiress and a guy who 'thumps' with a friggin sword.
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| I don't have to take this!
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| No, but it's more fun this way. Why don't you go miserably fail to abduct maidens somewhere else?
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| You haven't seen the last of me!
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| What a nut. I think caving in his skull will be a pleasure. I'll see myself out, Ms. Madison.
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| I wonder if we can convince him Odin is a maiden...nah. Middle time!
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| Here.
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| I'm awfully tense. Maybe I could use a drink.
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| The DL hasn't see you two very often.
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| It's just as well, I don't like dealing with all the crap Yuna and Rikku go through on a regular basis anyway.
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| I've just been biding my time.
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| Right. How do you two forsee the match going?
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| I think a few Assaults will do nicely.
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| I have cheap full healing. You're going to have to do better than that, lady.
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| You can't keep doing that forever.
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| Close enough.
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| So you say now.
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| I think all that leather is cutting off circulation to your brain.
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| Considering that yours is probably half-whiskey by now I think that makes us a fair match.
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| How appropriate. You fight like a cow.
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| What...?
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| I...I don't know.
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| ...
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| Ooooookay. You two are free to go. One more division and we're done!
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| Hiiii!
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| I just love being back in the DL!
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| ...I hate my job. Ugh. Just...just talk about the match while I try to ignore everything.
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| I'd hate to fight such a cute little girl, but my Dragoon form is pretty tough!
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| My magic is pretty tough too! But I only fight when love is on the line!
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| I only fight until I twist my ankle and then fall into a coma. It happens every other day.
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| Wow! That sounds really painful!
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| At night, the bees come.
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| Bees pollinate flowers! I love flowers!
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| Wow, you're almost as brainless as me.
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| Well, at least she's self-aware.
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| Too bad she comes out of the coma eventually.
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| Hey! Watch your mouth, or I'll....OW! Damn! Both my legs broke and I developed an allergy to oxygen! SAAAAAVE ME DART!
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| In retrospect I should've known what I was getting into.
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| That was just depressing. I think I need a drink.
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| We all do. Cut the show, minions.
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| This is Behind the Scenes, signing off! Catch you later! |