 | Man, those guys were weird.
|
 | I'll say.
|
 | I'm sure you guys enjoyed your little break, though.
|
 | I made muffins!
|
| I'd like to see Snake do that!
|
| Snake cannot make muffins. All he can do is hump corpses for food.
|
| Reminds me of the Hive.
|
| Well, anyway that's over for now.
|
 | I'd like to see Street Fighter try this sometime. At least maybe I can get an answer as to why Chun Li's hands are larger than her head.
|
| Anabolic steroids are a harsh mistress.
|
| Anyone with thighs like that is a freak of nature anyway.
|
| And just what is the deal with Guile's hair?
|
| Mysteries we may never know. So, anyway, let's cut this short before we move onto Guilty Gear and just what the hell is up with Bridget.
|
| Agreed.
|
| Ready when you are, Chisato.
|
| You mean...she isn't a girl?
|
| ....Welcome to Week 2 of Behind the Scenes, Readers! Eliminations are here to seperate the wheat from the proverbial chaff, and everyone is ready to take their shot at the ultimate glory of a championship! With us today first are two Godlikes, recent newcomer Arc and Luca Blight!
|
 | Glad to be here(finally!).
|
 | Enjoy the stay, pig. You won't be around for long.
|
| Welcome to Godlike, Arc. Plan to stay in the division for long?
|
| But of course. You can't kill what is Invincible, and Luca won't be able to much more than sit and watch me beat him to death.
|
| Hah! So the pig has some guts after all. Wait and see, boy. Wait and see.
|
| Oh please. You got your ass kicked by a teenage boy that looks like a 9 year old girl. I'm not afraid of you.
|
| Yeah, after about 50 arrows to the chest and fighting more than a dozen trained fighters.
|
| That...Kukuru never said...
|
| Kukuru..being wrong? Well, I never! Face it, kid, your love interest's a loser.
|
| And soon you will be as well.
|
| Eep.
|
| Well then. See you in the ring, idiot! I have to go dust off my trophy stand.
|
| There's nothing better than the usual Welcome to Godlike Beatdown, is there?
|
| Music to my ears.
|
| Well, we could go on to Heavy, but who cares about all those freaks when you could talk about ME! Not that I really expect to have a problem with that far inferior copy of Luca Blight that I'm supposed to be fighting. I mean, really, having some weird obsession with Eirika, of all people? You could so so much better, dude.
|
 | Do I get to even sa-
|
| No. Anyway, after I'm done knocking this idiot around for a bit, I think I'll celebrate by dropping things on opera singers. You know, the usual.
|
| I suppose we could talk to some other Heavies...
|
 | "Personality"? What's that?
|
 | My face! Not my beautiful face!
|
 | Apologize to Justin and I'll make you stop eating dirt.
|
| ....but I think we'll just be moving on.
|
 | Looks like Maya's not even here anyway.
|
 | A WIZARD? LIKE KOREN? OH NO!
|
 | Young Man, I assure you that-
|
| DIE, WIZARD! ULTIMATE SWORD-SLASHING ATTACK!
|
| ...Why are you attacking the pillar-
|
| You don't fool me, Pillar. Or should I say....Koren? Thanks to Fairie, I've learned a whole lot about strategy, and one thing I remember is that things are never the way they seem!
|
| Ugh. I should have just stayed on the moon.
|
| Soooo...
|
| Well..."Chisato", if that is your real name...My so called "Opponent" can't dare stand up to the might of the chosen heroes of the Mana Tree! I, Duran, Hero to All, will smite this evil Wizard, and destroy him utterly, so that all shall know Duran as That One Guy Who Beat That Old Guy Once In Middle At Some Point.
|
| Pretty sure that I can pull off a Meteo while he's busy babbling about stupid stuff.
|
| Well, a free win is a free win, right?
|
| But at what cost?
|
| Eh, a few IQ points won't hurt you. Unless you end up like Odin.
|
| HAH! Thought I couldn't see through your disguise, eh, you bastard!?
|
 | Get away from me! I need an adult! I need an adult!
|
| Well, at least he's not bothering us. All right, FuSoYa, thank you for your time.
|
| A...well, I don't lie and say it was a pleasure, but it certaintly is always an experience of some sort.
|
| And for Light we have...oh boy.
|
 | With a power greater than the oceans and faster than a lighting-storm, Big Joe, Eternal Champion, returns to grace the DL! Keep this day forever in your hearts, dear sirs, as you will remember it forever as the day I rocked Light like the proverbial hurricane.
|
 | I....I'm really, really fast?
|
| Ah, take it easy there, son. Many have been reduced to tears at Big Joe's greatness. Just try to feed off my godlike aura as best you can. Now then, Chisato, although I'm sure you're speechless, let me explain my masterfulness as best I can.
|
| ...
|
| I have a great amount of respect for my opponent, Stallion. I'm sure he's a great guy, which is why it gives me great pleasure to allow him the privilege of seeing Big Joe unleashed upon the world once more. Of course, he will likely be struck down in a matter of seconds, but greatness waits for no man.
|
| I...
|
| Now then, his speed is a great thing indeed, but can it compare to the blistering pace of my smile? The incredible speed of my brain? The powerful charge of my heart? I think not, dear lady. I think not.
|
| Just...DIE! DIE FOREVER!
|
| Now now, Chisato, there'll be plenty of time for autographs after my vict-OW! HEY! HOW! THAT DOESN'T BEND THAT WAY! MY FACE! OKAY OKAY! IT WAS ALL A LIE! OUCH! STOP IT! MY NAME'S NOT EVEN BIG JOE! IT'S MIRIAM! STOP! AAAAAAAHHHH!
|
| I love my job sometimes.
|
| Ugh. What a mess.
|
| Boy, I'd sure hate to be the guy that has to clean that up.
|
| Well, I think we've had enough of that. Since Chisato seems to be busy reducing Big Joe to his component elements, I think I'll just close shop right now. We'll see you next week. Goodbye from everyone at Behind the Scenes! |
I, Kazan, bid you welcome to the RPG Dueling League, dedicated to the art of pitting the greatest warriors of the RPG Multiverse against each other in honourable combat! Within lies the greatest showcase of fighting talent you will ever lay your eyes upon!