 | Alright, what's the gimmick this week?
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 | Your face?
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| Oh ha ha. No really, what's the gag? Dimensional crossover? New game coming out? Spontaneous loli invasion?
|
 | What are you talking about?
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| You know, what's gonna pop up outta nowhere, kick us off the set and take over the show this week?
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 | We're already only doing half as many broadcasts and you're still trying to scam ways out of work? That's lazy by my standards, squidface. Just go grab your cameras.
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| What? No, I'm not trying to...gah! Come on, you have to remember all that weird stuff happening?
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 | Don't worry buddy, I know exactly what you mean.
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| ...cameras ready.
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| I'm good.
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| That's debatable, but you're ready at least. As am I.
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| Standing by for kung-fu mopping action! Hoo-ha!
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| Kung-fu mop? Wha...y'know, I don't wanna know. Alright let's get this show started. Welcome back to Behind the Scenes ladies and germs, this is the weeks 1 and 2 edition of Season 55. With me here are the usual cast of goons who you know and love, so why don't we jump right into the show?
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| Joining us today from Godlike are week 1 competitor and reigning Heavy champion, Naoto Shirogane, and...oh come on.
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 | Is something the matter?
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| Just somebody going on an ego trip is all. Go ahead and read the card.
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| And the true greatest of Persona Godlikes, the man will all the money, our very own boss, Nate Nanjo.
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 | Did you really have to read that off in a monotone?
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| Greatest of Persona Godlikes? Souji might have a thing or two to say about that.
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| And if he could actually say them, I'd be happy to listen.
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| Hah! Nice one, boss.
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| Thank you.
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| Alright, enough with the brown-nosing, moppy. Let's just get this interview over with. So Naoto, you're up against Elc. Think you can handle him?
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| He is a PC, so I'm going to say yes.
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| You don't think that Invincible will stop your tricks?
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| I have no idea actually. I'm not technically hurting him, I suppose. More just ripping his soul out through his nasal cavity.
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| Wait, that doesn't count as hurting?
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| It doesn't do any HP damage, so maybe not?
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| For a detective you don't really sound all that sure about things.
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| Well I wasn't really expecting to be here at all, actually. I was sort of hoping to have some downtime after being busy all last season to spend with Souji.
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| Well I'm sure he's happy for you, joining him in Godlike and all.
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| He was very supportive, yes.
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| And I'm sure his happiness has nothing to do with you and Yukiko being in one more season giving him more time to fool around with Chie and Rise.
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| I...excuse me.
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| Did you schedule her just so you could take shots at Souji, Nate?
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| And?
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| Just asking. So are you actually going to make us interview you?
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| I suppose you don't have to, though I may dock your pay for only doing seven interviews instead of the eight you're supposed to.
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| So, you and Lugia, huh?
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| Indeed.
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| Think the bird will finally manage to buy a win?
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| Doubtful. I'm wise to it's tricks.
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| I dunno boss, that aeroblast move is pretty brutal.
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| Who's side are you minions on here, anyway?
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| The side of unbiased, objective reporting, of course.
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| ...
|
|
|
|
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| Did you really just say that with a straight face?
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| Absolutely.
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| Color me impressed. Alright then, just get on with it and move to Heavy.
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| Sure thing. Joining us from week 1 in Heavy, we have the legendary pokemon Ho-Oh, and from week 2 a DL newcomer, Tony Eisler from Mana Khemia.
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 | HO!
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 | Are you seriously going to interview a bird?
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| No, we're facetiously going to interview a bird.
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| ...right.
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| Why don't you do the honors, Morte?
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| Sure thing. So, birdbreath.
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| Oh?
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| What do you think about your counterpart Lugia getting to duke it out with the boss up in GODLIKE while you flap around like an idiot down in Heavy?
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| HO!
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| Oh, you don't like that, huh?
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| Does the skull know what he's doing?
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| Usually not.
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| And how about that draw, huh? Saturos, the Mars Adept. Bad luck there, that guy's a fire controller too.
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| HOOOO!
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| Yeah, that's alright. I'm sure someone will avenge your loss on week 3. Of course...that means you'll be facing a downgrade pool.
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| Hoooo-OH!!!
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| *fwoosh*
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| And there's the Sacred Fire, right on cue.
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| You set up your own people for this stuff?
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| Is that a problem?
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| Nope.
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| Anyway, what do you think of the DL so far, Tony?
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| Frankly? The place is crazy. That really hit me when I was bumming around yesterday and ran into Flay. Then I realized that he was one of the sane people around here.
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| Realizing that *Flay* could be considered sane for the standards here would be pretty sobering, I'm sure.
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| More knurding, really.
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| What?
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| Nevermind.
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| So how about your match, then? Worried about this Yosuke kid at all?
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| What's there to say about it? He's a dweeb, I'm a bully. This is like basic food-chain stuff.
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| So how well did that actually work for you at Al Revis?
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| Uh...shut up!
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| An eloquent retort if I've ever heard one. Can we move on to Middle now?
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| Whatever, this place is lame anyway. I'm out.
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| Why yes, it looks like we can. Gil, call 'em in.
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| Alright, representing Middle's week 1 we have the hyperactive item girl from Spira, Rikku. And from week 2, generic baby eating villain number forty three, Nergal.
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 | Hello!
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 | I am not generic!
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| *snrk*
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| Hehe.
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| You dare laugh at me? I'm one of the greatest villains of all time, I tell you!
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| Oh man, this is too much.
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| The sad thing is, I think he believes it.
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| Hah, there's no way you're a better villain then me!
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| Phah! Gods are so overdone, dark wizards are where it's at. I'm clearly the superior villain here.
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| No you're not!
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| Yes I am!
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| No you're not!
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| Yes I am!
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| This can only end in a sissy slap fight.
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| 20 gil on Nergal.
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| You're on.
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| Hah, well I created my own army of soulless puppets from the quintessence of mortal men. What do you have to say about THAT?
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| I command an army of lesser gods forged from the souls of great heroes by my three valkyries.
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| Hmm, hard call there.
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| Eh, I say point to Nergal. At least his minions never turned on him.
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| Hah, see that! And if you're such a great villain, why don't you remind me which one of us is doing demeaning janitor work for a lowly PC?
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| Ooh, I think that's match.
|
| Wait for it...
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| How about you remind me which one of us is married to a smokin' hot fertility goddess?
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| Er...I...I have evolved past the shackles of such base desires...
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| Evolved? What are you, Necrosaro mark 2 or something?
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| So what was that about it being game?
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| Okay, who'd you get to dress up in the Odin suit? There is no way that's him.
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| Grr. This isn't over, Odin! You have made a mortal enemy this day!
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| Emphasis on the 'mortal'. Lemme know when you at least manage 'demigod' and maybe I can pencil you in somewhere.
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| Yeah, I'm with Rikku. That can't be Odin.
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| Sure it can...if I'm feeding him lines on the teleprompter.
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| WHAT!? Oh you witch, that so doesn't even count!
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| Sure it does. Cough up the gil, honey.
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| Did you really just make Odin look good on television just to win a bet?
|
| And?
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| It's getting harder and harder to tell you and Nate apart sometime.
|
| Fine, here. So what about my interview?
|
| Who are you fighting, again?
|
| Some new guy. Night...something.
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| Nightwing!
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| Wrong genre, moppy. Nightburn, some new guy from Wild Arms 5.
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| Okay, so do you think you can beat him?
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| Maybe? I've never seen him fight before, so I don't really know.
|
| Well there you go, hope you enjoyed your interview.
|
| Man, cheated out of 20 gil and not even interviewed right. It's like you don't like me or something.
|
| ...
|
| ...I'm just gonna let that one go.
|
| What, not even a swing?
|
| Too easy. Let's move on to Light.
|
| And since nobody really cares about Light we can do this quick. From weeks 1 and 2 respectively, we have Flonne and Colette. A pair of klutzy, love-freak angel types.
|
 | Wow, I never realized just how much we had in common!
|
 | Yeah, it's almost like we're sisters or something!
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| I wish I really did have a sister. It would be so nice to always have someone to talk to.
|
| I know, maybe we can pretend to be sisters!
|
| That's a great idea!
|
| Sap levels...reaching critical mass...someone distract them with a question, quick...
|
| I'm on it! So, uh...55 seasons. That's a whole lot of seasons, huh?
|
| It is. Let's see, if there's 6 weeks in a season, that would make it...um...
|
| A really long time. Wow.
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| I'm going to start thinking about the seasons like levels. Every time a new one starts, bam, level-up!
|
| Haha, that sounds like fun! It would always make a new season something to look forward to, even if you're not in it.
|
| What happens to your analogy if we reach a hundred? Most leveling stops about there.
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| I know! We can be a Nippon-Ichi game, then we never have to stop leveling!
|
| ...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Wh-what's wrong?
|
| Don't EVER say something like that again.
|
| Did I say something bad?
|
| Um, Flonne? Maybe...maybe we're not really cut out to be sisters afterall.
|
| B-but...
|
| Can we just call it there, chief? I don't have much left in me after that.
|
| Yeah, that's probably for the best. Odin, close us out and clean up.
|
| But we didn't even get to the interviews yet!
|
| Meh.
|
| Doesn't everyone want to know who we're fighting at least?
|
| They can just see it on the Arena page.
|
| Alright, clear out ladies. I'mma wrap this up.
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| O-okay. Bye everybody...
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| Thanks for tuning in to the week 1 and 2 edition of Behind the Scenes for season 55. Now go vote on the matches, puny mortals!
|
I, Kazan, bid you welcome to the RPG Dueling League, dedicated to the art of pitting the greatest warriors of the RPG Multiverse against each other in honourable combat! Within lies the greatest showcase of fighting talent you will ever lay your eyes upon!