 |
Ah...aftermath week. This is always by far my favourite week each season.
|
 |
You actually like something about this? I thought the nutcases we always book drove you nuts?
|
|
Oh, they do. But this is the week where I get to mess with their fragile egos, and send a couple to therapists. Always makes my day.
|
 |
Er...are you sure that's wise?
|
|
It's been making me feel good for five seasons. Can't see any harm in that. Anyway, that's enough talking for now. Let's get started, shall we?
|
|
Er...ok.
|
|
Right on the ball as usual. Anyway, welcome back to Behind the Scenes! This week, we've got the final fighters from Season Eleven here, and we're going to spill their guts with all the juicy gossip.
|
|
Er..."spill their guts"? Are you sure that's the right word choice?
|
|
With the way this show usually ends up? Probably. Anyway, let's bring out our first two guests, Godlike champion Melfice, and runner-up Rashidi.
|
 |
Finally! Finally victory is mine!
|
|
Victory? Beating up an old man is considered a victory where you come from? It looked like one of the most anti-climactic fights I've ever seen.
|
|
I have to agree with that assessment: it was fairly boring compared to even the Light finals. Your thoughts, Melfice?
|
|
Well, it would have been a more interesting match if this old geezer here had remembered to take his heart medication before the fight. I didn't even get to strike him once: just keeled over onto the ground soon as the bell rang.
|
 |
Bah, you kids need to learn to respect your elders. Why, when I was your age, we walked fifteen miles through the snow, uphill both ways, to get to our tournaments bouts! And we liked it that way, damnit!
|
 |
I'm still wondering how people can do that: I mean, wouldn't it be really hard to walk uphill both ways? I mean, you'd walk up, then up, then....wait...how...that can't happen, can it?
|
|
...boy, I think you might be legally retarded.
|
|
No need to think: he really is. Anyway, that's enough from our Godlikes for this week. Let's drop down a division to Heavy, and bring out Sofia and Ramsus.
|
|
Oh yay...this should be fun.
|
|
Yes...now Sofia, what's the most important thing you learned this season?
|
 |
...
|
|
Er...
|
|
Right. Thanks. Now, has Ramsus stopped crying yet?
|
|
Nope, doesn't look like it. Boy, this kid makes that little marshmallow from a few weeks ago look like he's made of steel.
|
 |
*sniff* Enough! I am not trash!
|
|
No, no, of course you aren't.
|
|
Yes...I'm not trash...I'm not trash....
|
|
You lost to a girl...not only that, but an 8-bit girl with no personality whatsoever, though that lack of personality is much less infuriating than the image of you crying like a little baby. It's no wonder people call you trash.
|
|
Ok Morte, enough with the psychological assault. Do you have anything to say in your defense, Ramsus?
|
|
...my mother never loved me.
|
|
Crybaby. At least you had a mother.
|
|
Oh, I never knew, Morte.
|
|
Me? No, I'm talking about you: anyone as slimy and ugly and ogre-like as you must have been produced by fission.
|
|
...I'd run if I were you.
|
|
...get out...
|
|
Aw....it's all in good fu...
|
|
Out! Now!
|
|
Er...I'd leave if I were you, Morte.
|
|
Bah, fine. Later goyles and ghouls.
|
|
One of these days...ahem, let's move on to Middle now, where I'd like to introduce both Kasumi the runner-up, and Zalbard the champion.
|
 |
Heh. Poor, poor Geshp.
|
|
Poor Geshp?
|
|
Well, look at him: high-ranking devil gets beaten by a scrub, while his lowest subordinate takes a championship. I can't wait to rub it in his face.
|
|
Well, that is a good point: do you think you'll someday meet your brethren in battle?
|
|
Yes, perhaps. Not that it matters: if they keep losing to Chrono Cross scrubs, I've got nothing to worry about.
|
|
Valid point, I guess. Kasumi, do you think....Kasumi?
|
|
Er...looks like she did the ninja thing and disappeared.
|
|
Figures. Oh well.
|
|
I find it somewhat ironic that not only was the season's finale very anti-climactic, but this episode of BtS is also somewhat low-key.
|
|
I agree! Chisato, press the button.
|
|
Button?
|
|
Oh, one of the buttons I installed on your console one day. The lesbia...oof.
|
|
Er...wow. Nice left hook. He'll be out for a week.
|
|
Thanks. Let's finish this up. My last guests for tonight are this season's Light finalists; please welcome MOMO and Lufia!
|
 |
It's good to be back. Thanks for having me here.
|
|
Not a problem. So, it appears you've fallen short once more with your championship dreams. You still going to go through with that Albedo lawsuit?
|
|
Yes. He's going to finally pay for what he's done.
|
|
Well, that's great to know. Congratulations, and good luck with that. Now, Lufia...I've always wanted to know how you can have so many different personalities inside of you, yet still compete as several separate entities.
|
 |
I'm many people? I thought I was just Lufia?
|
|
But aren't you also Erim, Sinistral of Death?
|
|
Uh....I was, but not anymore. Didn't you ever finish the game?
|
|
Like most sane people, I quit after the opening. You're trying to tell me that, even though you're technically multiple people, you at the same time aren't more than one person at a time?
|
 |
I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to cut this episode short.
|
|
Er...huh?
|
|
What's the meaning of this?
|
|
What you're starting to get into borders on the fine line between logic and RPGs, and further investigation into the matter could cause a collapse in the space-time continuum, and cause the whole of the DL to fall into a very dangerous space-time warp.
|
|
Uh....ok then. So that means, that even if Lufia is still the two different people, she's also only the one person at the same time, despite being multiple people...
|
|
Stop! Don't break the fourth wall!
|
|
Er...I think it's too late.
|
|
What?
|
|
Uh....where did Lufia go? And why did it suddenly get really cold?
|
|
...well, there goes the universe.
|
|
Just a normal day here. Well, that's all dear readers. Tune in next week, when hopefully we'll have this problem fixed.
|
|
Er...until then, bye kids! And remember not to tease the octopus.
|
Welcome back, dearly devoted readers! Once again, we've come to the end of a season, but as I'm sure you all know, the fun isn't over yet! From the original thirty-two, only four remain: but their fighting isn't over yet! From re-ranks to bonus matches and the ever popular end-season team match, there's still plenty of entertainment for RPG fans big and small!