Can't you feel it in the air, dear readers? It's the smell of a brand new season, Season Sixteen, here at the RPGDL! Filled with faces old, new, popular, and despised, we've got an impressive line-up of powerful and pathetic fighters, all eager for their shot at glory! But let's take care of some loose ends first, shall we? The Results for week six of Season Fifteen are up, closing out one of the DL's brightest and most popular seasons yet. Who now stands a division higher, and who has fallen into the great pits of obscurity, otherwise known as Middle and Light? Find out for yourself, dear readers! With all the remaining pieces of Season Fifteen all collected and accounted for, head on over toThe Main Event for all the awesome new bouts we have in store for you! In Light this week, it's not the sodium content that's a problem for people at risk for heart disease: it's the peppor! Will this hazard to people's health be neutralized? In Middle, it's been a long time coming, but two fighters who've been passed over for a match time and time again have finally gotten their chance to shine in the DL. Will they prove the long wait and hype to be worth it? In Heavy, metal clashes with metal, as an old sailor must put of all his ( significant ) weight into the fight against a monster made out of metal. Who will rust first? And in Godlike, one of the DL's most powerful and highest-ranked warriors returns after a long hiatus. What does this powerful man have in store for the DL's highest division? Find out, inside, dear readers! And what's become of Gordon, Laharl, Etna, Flonne, Eliwood, Legault, Hector, and the rest of the players in the newest edition of the The RPG Strategy League? How has the battle of Dragon's Gate gone? Whoever wins the day has a powerful foothold in their possession, one that will surely play a role in the future battles that are sure to come... And you just can't so no to signing up for an account at the RPGDL Forums! Don't be afraid to get involved dear reader: we're always looking for your input for ways that we can make the DL better and more accessible. Don't wait: sign up now! With us, as always, is Chisato Madison, Gilgamesh, Ultros, Morte, and the recently re-hired janitor Odin, ready to take you behind the scenes of the RPGDL: A fiddler on the roof. Sounds crazy, no? But in our little village of Anatevka you might say every one of us is a fiddler on the roof, trying to scratch out a pleasant, simple tune, without breaking his neck. It isn’t easy. You may ask, “Why do we stay up there if it’s so dangerous?” We stay because Anatevka is our home. And how do we keep our balance? Perhaps we should find out. Let’s see if you can keep your balance when the ground beneath you gives way. Hey, wait a minute! I’m just rehearsing my lines! Lines? For what? The Lake Castle Players are putting on a production of Fiddler on the Roof, and I landed the part of Tevye. Look out world, we’ve got a brand new Zero on our hands! You mean that guy with the glowing sword who fights Sigma in nearly every incarnation of the Megaman X series? No, no, poor mop-ridden boy: Zero Mostel, the original Tevye in the original Broadway production of Fiddler on the Roof. And this matters…why? Because it’s tradition. Because of our traditions, we’ve kept our balance for many years. Here in Anatevka we have our traditions for everything: how to… Get fired? Oh, we’ve got some traditions of our own for that. For instance: the moon landing! Why mmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! You guys are lucky Odin’s still on probation, and thus receives all launchings for the next season, when he’s present of course. Now, let’s get this show started. Rolling, chief! When you’re ready, Morte! Welcome back, devoted fans! This is Behind the Scenes, Season Sixteen, Week One, where we’ll show you just how far a bunch nutcases with a camera and a large budget will go to entertain an audience! Our first guests for tonight are fighting in Godlike this week. Please welcome an old time favourite and champion, Ghaleon, and, assuming we can fit him in here, the King of the Devils, Zeon! Greetings. Hahahahaha! I have returned to take vengeance upon the fools who handed me a defeat so long ago! Come, kneel before my… Put a sock in it. And lose some weight while you’re at it. …lose…some..weight?! How dare you mock me, the king of the devils!? She has a point there, tubby: you never move. And…heck, all we can see is your head, who knows what your actual body looks like. Now Morte, I’m sure there’s a perfect explanation for all of that. Might it be tradit… I highly doubt it, though that does bring up an interesting question: Zeon, do you actually have a body? Of course I do! Are you even insinuating that I’m like that hideous floating skull there? Hey, at least this disembodied head knows how to move. I sense some anger coming from you two. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, after all. What does that have to do with anything, Chief? Well, had Mr. Zeon decided not to be so deafeningly loud, he might have prevented himself from getting thrown out of the studio. So…what’s the cure part? Well, if he’s flying and screaming, his voice will give out, meaning he’s cured from screaming for a while. Wow, Chisato…that’s deep. I never thought you were capable of thinking on that level. I’m full of surprises. Now, why isn’t Zeon flying out of the studio when I press the pretty button? I think, for once, the fat jokes on this show might actually have been justified in this case. Raaaaawwwwwrrrrr! Stop your mindless yapping! Continue with my interview. I think we’re done. Ghaleon, I know you have places to be, so do you have anything to say to your opponent? Yes. I wish the dragon boy good luck – he’ll need it. Short and sweet. Thank you Ghaleon. Now, onto Heavy. Tonight, we’ve got Heavy guests Articuno, a newly ranked Pokemon, and Limstella, Nergal’s favourite morph. Welcome, both of you. Arti! … … ARTICUNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Wow, talk about collective unconsciousness. Do all Final Fantasy recurring bosses think alike? Yes. Plus, we don’t like Pokemon. They do make for boring interviewees. Yes, well…Limstella, what do you do in your free time? I steal quintessence for Lord Nergal. That’s…nice. Anything more, of I don’t know, worthy of a Pulitzer prize-winning interview? Oh, she’s in the Fiddler on the Roof too. She’s playing Tzeitel…er…I think that’s her name. One of Tevye’s daughters. …how…her? She speaks in monotone. She does, but she sings like a nightengale…so beautiful. …I never thought I’d hear you say something nice about anyone, Morte. Well, I occasionally slip up. Even I’m not perfect. If you’re done with me, I must get back. I must practice. The show is in one week. Alright, then you’re free to go. One week, huh. How come I never heard about it? Because you don’t pay attention to us. It’s a tradition. Next person to say that word gets shot out of the studio. Now, let’s bring out the Middle guests. Please come out…oh no. What’s up? Let me see…oh. Bwhahahahahaha! Oh, easy for you to say. Please come out, Shigeo and Zidane. BOW TO ME! How’re ya’ doing, Chisato? What about you and I… Restraining order. …stay right where we are. Glad we see eye to eye. So, you two get to fight each other this week. I can tell you this much: no one knows who to bet against. They all hate you both equally. I AM IMPRESSED. TO LIFE! …him?! Lazar Wolf. He makes for a good, loud Russian butcher. L'CHAI-IM! Oy vey. I think it’s about time I stepped in. So…Zidane, what do you really have going for you? Well, I have this Ultima Weapon and stuff, like my mad thievery skillz, and Trancing. I think it’s enough. Hm…what do you say, Shigeo? Think that’s enough to beat you? INFRINGMENT! …wow, Zidane turned to stone. I think that’s a first for that attack. I think the audience is applauding. And hey, the ratings are going up! Wonderful. Let’s finish this up with Light. Come on out…blah. Light sucks. I resent that! As do I. Now, let’s get this party started! Well, Peppor: why the “o” instead of an “e”? Regional dialect. What region? New Jersey. So it is true: all bad things do come from Jersey, Chrono Cross included. I think just saying “bad” indicated Chrono Cross in that comparison. Good point. And Samson… Has left the building. L'CHAI-IM! TO LIFE! And that looks like the end. From the staff at Behind the Scenes, thanks for joining in, and make sure you tune back in next week, for week two of Season Sixteen. And don’t forget to stop by Lake Castle in a week, and check out the RPG Players production of Fiddler on the Roof! The kids will love it! Partly because of the laughing gas used in the bottle dance scene, but hey, it still holds true. This is Behind the Scenes, signing out!