Welcome back, dear readers! I'm proud to welcome you to finals week, Season Sixteen, where only the best and brightest stars still stand tall, their chance for glory but a mere moment away! Let's get started! First of all, a great many thanks to those of you who submitted so many helpful comments about the DL in general. We can assure you that those comments won't go to waste: we'll use them to make the DL that much better for everyone! And guess what? We've got the Nominations Topic for season seventeen up for you all to start nomming for! Don't miss your chance to see your favourite fighters in next season! Week Four is over and done with, so head on over to the Results Page and take a look at what went down in the hood. Which master mage came out ahead in a deadly battle of arcana, even by Godlike standards? Was Heavy's favourite gun-toting priest able to send his foe to the afterlife for good? Is Middle still under the dominating fist of one of God's Ten Wisemen, or was our heroic spy able to take him down? And was our level 15 lawful good cleric able to slay a DC level 20 dragon? There's only one way to find out, dear readers, so head on inside! Now, it's time for what you've all been waiting fore: Finals Week! Our journey this week begins in Light: the little Dragon that could has done what few have deemed possible, and risen to the top of the herd ( otherwise known as Light ). Now, she must slay yet another cleric, more feminine than the last. Is this the end of her run? In Middle, it's a spy vs. a guy, both of whom are guys themselves. It's a battle of rhyming words, dear readers, as both fighters are relying not on their combat prowess, but on their mastery of the English language! Who will prove to be the wielding of the True Grammar Rune? In Heavy, it's really the guns that kill people. The famed gun-toting priest must now utilize all his spiritual powers to tackle the toughest exorcism of all: a giant ball of wind. Can he do what no priest has ever done before? And finally, Godlike is filled with whispers of denunciation and fear, as an old champion has made his way to the finals again. Only one foe to go: though perhaps in underestimating her, he will suffer defeat. What comes of all this, dear readers, is for you to decide! The RPG Strategy League is alive and well this week, and it looks like a new, yet familiar face has arrived on the scene. The Defenders of Earth join forces with a former enemy, to face down a perhaps even greater foe. Unbeknownst to these fighters, the rest of the battle continues, pitting prinnies against some of Caelin's best, as well as opposing commanders Eliwood and Laharl against each other. What mysteries are waiting to be solved, what battle still yet unfought? Continue to follow the never-ending story of the RPGSL, and you'll find out soon enough, dear readers! And you've gotta' take at least one look at RPGDL Forums! It's always active, and filled with wonderful people, all of whom are very knowledgeable about many things. Not only is signing up a great way to meet new people, but it's also the only way to take part in nominations and rankings! Sign up today, and reap the benefits! As always, the lovely and talented Chisato Madison is ready and willing to give you, our devoted readers, a little bit of a behind the scenes look at what's going through the heads of some of this week's fighters: Odin! My mail…now! The show starts in a minute! Yes Chisato! Right away! Hm…death threat, death threat, death threat, credit card application, water bill, death threat, donate to poor Asian children…all junk. You’re so heartless. You’re not even going to respond to your death threats? They’re all from the same person. Who might that be? Agrias. She sure holds grudges for a long time. I do. But enough about me: it’s time to start the show. Welcome to Behind the Scenes, fans of the RPGDL, where death threats are the norm. It’s finals week, and as always, we’re ready to humiliate your favourite fighters on national TV. So let’s get started. With us tonight are Lucius and Sara, two of Light’s most respected female fighters. Uh…I’m not… Quiet girly; you’re up next. Thanks Morte. Now, Sara, what do you have to say for yourself? You’ve made it farther than anyone expected you to, and could quite possibly see yourself and upgrade back to Middle. What say you? I think it’s time. I mean, are people racist against dragons or something? I wasn’t that weak. I mean, was I? Just for this moment, we’ve prepared an audience poll! Please, cast your votes! Aaaaaaaaand…the votes are in. Seventy-three percent of the audience feels that you were a complete pushover, while fifteen percent feel that you are mis-ranked. The remaining twelve percent would like to see the lesbian mudwrestling…who added that option to the poll!? That was me, lovely Chisato. Oh, yes. I’d like to introduce the new head of the show’s interpersonal communications and philanthropy department, Zelos Wilder. That’s my name. And for all of you lovely ladies who don’t recognize me, you might want to give Tales of Symphonia a play at some pooooooiiiiinnnnnttttttt!!!!! He’s got a lot to learn. You forgot to give him the speech about advertising on the show, didn’t you? Even I make mistakes. But more to the point: Lucius. Please, tell me how your singing career is going. Ever since the karaoke bonus match seasons back, we haven’t heard much about the legendary pop queen Lucius. Well it’s been…pop queen?! I am not a woman! Oh, come now: you don’t need to be bashful. You’re idolized by young girls all over the country, all of whom want to be just like you when they grow up. It must be nice to be one of the most popular RPG females in the…OUCH! I. AM. NOT. A. GIRL. Now Lucius, it’s not nice to blast the co-host with light magic. He is undead, after all. Damn straight. You little wench! Take this! OW! He…bit…me…. Huh, looks like he’s taking lessons from Luc in taking hits. He just…fainted. That makes my job easier. Let’s bring out our Middle guests: please welcome Nash and Guy, spy extraordinaire and master swordsman. Hi. I’m glad to be here, even though I lost 2 weeks ago… Oh for the love of…how did we do this again? Odin. Odin. Since we’re all in agreement… Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!! Right. Now, Nash, what’s your take on this final battle for Middle? Well, I’m kind of hoping that they use this loser in place of the other guy. Heck, not even a challenge. Loser? I’ll have you know I’m the greatest swordsman in… Yes, yes, all of Sacae. Hey, Gilgy, that’s the wrong Guy. Well, at least we know he’s reading the cue cards. At least we know he can read. I was scared for a while. And yet another interview gets bogged down due to Bureaucracy. Let’s move on. Present Heavy guests: first, a priest with a gun, and second, a giant ball of hot air. Welcome both Billy and Valvalis, everyone! That was almost poetic, I think. Anyway…big bag of wind, what’s up? Your number, fool, if you continue to defile my name. Big talk. So tell me, what’s so special about you that got you this far? Besides the obvious jokes, of course. No one can hit me. Not even this supposed master of gunnery I face this week. Few can stand in the way of the Fiend of Wind! I shall show the world that Rubicante was not the only one of us who can conquer Heavy! Interesting. What about your other brethren, the Fiends of Earth and Water? They suck. Let’s get back to talking about me, now. Let’s not. Alright, Billy, what’s a priest to do in a situation like this? Well, my father always told me to take a swig of spirits before heading out to battle… Now that’s my type of parent! Let’s make your father’s wishes come true, shall we? Sounds good to me. And now, let’s finish this up. Come on out, Piastol, Angel of Death, and Magical Girl Ghaleon! TIME TO DIE! Burned camera-man. Wonderful. Being called that name gives me a burning desire to destroy the world. You’re not thinking big enough: why the world when you can take down the universe? Probably because, oh I don’t know, we live in the universe? She makes a valid point, Indy. You’re no fun. I think I’ll be leaving now: I have some TV executives to kill. Good luck. Kill ‘em for canceling ‘Get Smart’ for me! Well, that looks like the end of this week’s episode. Enjoy finals week, dear readers, and we’ll see you next week for even more fun and excitement.