I, Kazan, bid you welcome to the RPG Dueling League, dedicated to the art of pitting the greatest warriors of the RPG Multiverse against each other in honourable combat! Within lies the greatest showcase of fighting talent you will ever lay your eyes upon! Here, you will be able to vote on a series of Battles. weekly where the greatest warriors will square off in combat! Fighters are split into divisions, aptly named for the fighting prowess of those within. The victors each week continue on in a typical eliminations-style tournament, until a victor is crowned champion of each division. Here, you'll also find exciting bonus matches and other spectacles to seduce your battle-starved souls, enough honourable combat to fill even an old man like me with joy! Questions? Go here! In addition, there's another small tournament called Not Ranked, which pits an even wider assortment of unique, secretive and unknown warriors against each other in a similar vein. If you're looking for a favourite, it wouldn't hurt to check that out as well. The DL is more than answering the question of how fighters stack up. It's a repository of information about RPG's varying from the obscure to the well known. Every bit of data gathered from every dank duengon and musty library in the RPG universe is gathered here. If you youngsters want to talk about any RPG of any stripe, you're welcome here. Check out this center of learning and find out new information about your favorite games! Aah, glad I could be of assistance. But before I knock off for a much deserved drink, here's the current news and status of the Duelling League this week: Not Ranked: Closed but opening again soon. Check back next week for details. You've done a good job paying attention, students. Now here's Chisato to take you Behind the Scenes! I love the smell of forced labor in the morning. Smells like...victory. Smells like you took a bath in cologne this morning. You don't even have a nose. That's how strongly it smells. Smells like Odin forgot to clean out the stalls again. Ugh. It's been a long week in Valhalla. All the gods dress like ugly mortals and try to scare the other gods until they give them candy. I dressed up as Kuja! Urgh....mental image.... Must...destroy...eyesight.... Speech patterns....overwhelmed..by..ellipses... Hehe. Just kidding. Image..still burned onto retinas.... Good thing I equipped my Void: Ugly Old God Cosplay Persona today. That looks painful. Let us never speak of this again. Ever. Agreed. Sorta makes me wish I was back in high school, fighting horrific demons with the power of insanity. At least then horrific evil had some manners. I came from a screaming, bleeding giant pillar of skulls of the dead and I still thought that was going too far. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Let's...just ignore him and get started. Sounds like a plan. It's Week 3 of Season 39, readers, and the stakes are getting high indeed! With plenty of fun duellers to discuss, we at Behind the Scenes had to work real hard(to find the ones it would be cheapest to clean up after...) to find our guests for this show. To start things off, we have two godlikes, Ultimecia and Xorn! I Kannot be stopped! NO LOVE WILL SURVIVE! Ah, the two lovebirds. Hopefully your relationship won't get in the way of the fight, right? WE'VE DECIDED TO JUST BE FRIENDS, WHICH MOSTLY INVOLVES KILLING EACH OTHER ANYWAY. HAVE I MENTIONED I HATE LOVE? Yes, yes yes. But the match, people? Kan anyone hold up to my durability and damage in this field? Not even my Xorny-poo's Speed advantage holds up. MY INCREDIBLY VAGUE AND UNDESCRIBED POWERS SHOULD BE ENOUGH TO TAKE OUT MY UNBELOVED. That's kinda harsh, to break up so quickly. EH? You guys have a lot in common, you know. Both do absoulutely nothing until the very end of the game, both are evil for no real reason, both get their asses kicked by a bunch of idiots.... You've got a point there... I DON'T SEE WHY OUR RELATIONSHIP DOWNGRADE MEANS WE CAN'T BE BUSINESS PARTNERS. HOW ABOUT TAKING OVER THE WORLD, SORCERESS? Yes! But no SeeDs. OR LOVE. I'm Kool with that. OR PEANUTS. ... I'M ALLERGIC, OKAY? GIVE ME A BREAK. Enough about that, let's go Konquer the world! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! I wish them well. Heavies! This ought to be a good fight. Not interested in rat blood, but my Darkness Rune will take care of you. So, Freya, what is the deal with Zidane? Zidane and I have an understanding. He keeps out of my matches and I don't give him a colonscopy with my spear. Not that I need assistance to take care of monkey boy, but thanks. I'm pretty sure that Shiho could take out Zidane, but no matter. As for the match..? I can just jump out of the way of any spells, and she can't hold out against me for long. You can't stay in the air forever, and once you do I can blow you to bits. And it's as simple as that. More or less. I'm gonna go get drunk. That's the spirit! What a suprisingly uneventf- YOU, THE HOLDER OF ULTIMATE POWER! And right on cue come the idiots. GREAT ALL-FATHER ODIN! I BESEECH YOU TO SHOW ME YOUR STRENGTH! What manner of devilry do you need me for? Demons? Brahms? Zombie Ninjas riding dinosaurs(awesome!)? UHH....SOMETHING LIKE THAT. CAN YOU OPEN THIS PICKLE JAR? Oh. Well, there's a reason I'm the Migard National Jar-Opening Champion of 1997! JAAAARRRRRR OPENING POWER! That's the cheesiest lens flare effect I've ever seen. SO jealous. He opened it! Hurrah! Now go away, you stupid bird, and leave us be! FINE. YOU DON'T GET ANY PICKLES. Get out of the way, you'll crush the Middles. Too late. Why can't I feel my legs? You know, Xorn may be a bad guy, but his heart's in the right place. Killing Zidane? Always a good idea. But..awesome interview...totally get all the chicks...blergh... That's nice. Well, Robo, I bet your strategy is a little different than getting Xorn to sit on him when you fight this week. Eh. A couple Crisis Arm punches should do the trick. Probably won't even notice with all the oogling he'll be doing. Point. Ugh, there's Zidane all over the floor. Let's get the Lights out here before somebody heals him and we have to listen to him talk. Another little punk in need of a beating. Well, I'll be damned. But...but... SHUT UP! NOBODY GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO SPEAK! S..sorry... SORRY!? YOU SPINELESS WIMP! I'M GONNA KNOCK YOU SENSELESS! WAAAHAHHHHHHHHH! Uh, if you guys would just tell us.... RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR YOUR GUTS! YOU ARE TINY! THAT MEANS YOU DON'T HAVE MUCH GUTS! RIP AND TEAR! oh god oh god oh god oh god YOU'RE STUPID! YOU'RE GONNA BE STUPID AND DEAD! Uhh....no. Nate? 3...2...1.... Oh, this again. TONY! R...Raquel. How...nice to see you here. What have I told you about your homicidal rage towards children? Uhh...it's bad? And you know what the punishment is? Oh, come on! It was just a mistake! No excuses! You're going to have to take all the kids in Light trick or treating next year! But...happy children...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Supervising Children. Truly the greatest torture of all. Well, I don't think we can top that. Neither do I. Let's get out of here. Word. This is the BtS crew, signing off! See you for Week 4!