 | Come oooooooon.
|
 | Seriously, give us a shot Boss.
|
 | Absolutely not. No way, no how.
|
| You let Odin do it!
|
| I also set Odin up to fail.
|
 | Hey!
|
 | Oh, like you needed the help Moppy.
|
| I was doing great before Dryst showed up!
|
| Keep telling yourself that. But the point remains that there's no way I'm letting you two and your Reoccurring Boss Club buddies run my show. Even for one week.
|
| Spoilsport.
|
| Oh come on, you let Chisato run the show and she's worse then any of us.
|
| She's also less of a screw-up then any of you. Anyway, the matter is closed. Chisato, start the show.
|
| Sure thing. Welcome back everyone to the finals week of Season 41. I'm Chisato Madison and this is Behind the Scenes, where we interview your favorite fighters in between the bouts of physical and emotional torture. And for our first victims, we have...huh? What are you doing here, you didn't win the match?
|
 | ...I am here to represent the interests of Mistress Yuna as her new PR agent.
|
| Oh how the mighty have fallen. What's she got you doing next, playing towel boy for the Aurochs? I bet you'd like that, wouldn't you?
|
| If it had not been expressly forbidden of me, you would be flopping around on the ground like an electrocuted fish right now, harpy.
|
 | Do it, do it!
|
| Come on, you know you want to.
|
| Chisato called Yuna fat. She'd let you off the hook for this one, honest.
|
| ...do you three have some sort of death wish?
|
| Hoo boy, better go get my heavy duty mop out. Gonna have alot of cleaning to do in a minute...
|
 | Your minions seem to have misplaced their senses of self preservation, Chisato.
|
| Yes they have. I think it's time I helped them find it. Excuse me, ladies.
|
| Um...
|
| Guys...RUN.
|
| Did she just call me a lady?
|
| Well you are here representing Yuna.
|
| I...suppose that's something resembling a point. So shall we just wait here until Chisato is done?
|
| I'm not holding up the show that long. This is going to take awhile. Odin, make yourself useful and man the cameras, looks like it's time for me to host the show myself again.
|
| Will I get Ultros's pay for today?
|
| You know what? Sure.
|
| Hey, thanks! I'll man these cameras like they've never been manned before!
|
| I...I have no idea what to say to that. So I'm just going to ignore you. Jade, anything in particular that Yuna wants you to say on the show?
|
| Simply that she has nothing left to prove, and thus will hold nothing back in her final match.
|
| Excellent. That should make for an interesting battle then. I have no desire to win a second title over someone who isn't fighting with all they have.
|
| You think you'll be able to handle her, Jenna?
|
| Certainly. I beat Zophar, didn't I?
|
| Yes, and you were beaten by me. And I lost to Yuna. Don't underestimate her, or it's the last mistake you'll make.
|
| Your praise of her seems a bit more then that required by your new job, blondie. Falling for your new mistress, are you?
|
| Hardly. I simply would rather lose to the champion then the runner up. And I honestly don't think you have what it takes to beat her.
|
| Care to make a bet on that?
|
| ...
|
| Cold. Anyway, that's all the time I've got for Godlike. Nice having you both, and good luck in the finals. Er, well, you know what I mean Jade.
|
| Of course.
|
| Pleasure being here. For a change.
|
| What can I say, everything runs smoother when I just do it myself. Alright, Ultros...wait, right. Uh, Odin, send in the heavies.
|
 | ...
|
 | What? Why do you keep staring at me, worm!?
|
| Are you sure you're not a Deimos?
|
| For the last bloody time, YES! I am a Sinistral! My power is like unto that of a GOD! I am no mere lesser being, human, deimos or anything else of that ilk.
|
| If your power is so god-like, then why are you in Heavy?
|
| Hey!
|
| Believe me worm, that will change as soon as I'm done mangling your corpse.
|
| I'll be sure to carve that on your headstone. With an airship mounted laser.
|
| Giant lasers are hard to argue with. Almost as hard as an axe to the face.
|
| I've always been a fan of Giant Sword to the face, myself.
|
| That's your strategy then?
|
| Pretty much. I'm a massive Sinistral of Destruction, he's a puny little girly man. You do the math.
|
| Really big guys make for really big targets.
|
| I don't suppose you two have anything else interesting to say?
|
| Nope.
|
| I could give a presentation on how to cut a man in four with one swing?
|
| That's...almost tempting. But this isn't the right show for that. The violence is fine, but we don't do educational here. I'll have our talent scouts look you up though, this sounds like something I could sell.
|
| I'm always happy to help others spread death and destruction.
|
 | Hey, I'd pay for lessons like that.
|
 | It sounds fascinating, if a bit gruesome.
|
| What, Deimos! DIE!
|
| Woah! What's your problem, pal?
|
| Odin, I didn't call for the middles yet.
|
| I didn't call them in!
|
| Oh, we just came in to...
|
| DIE!
|
| ...give Chisato some more...
|
| Stand still and fight me!
|
| Will you knock it off!?
|
| Ah, excuse me sir, but...
|
| Aha, a fellow human. Quickly, flank this Deimos scum, we can bring him down together!
|
| Ah, no. And I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to stop swinging that sword about before you hurt someone.
|
| Well Nate wouldn't like me calling down a Big Owl strike on his building, so my sword is all I've got to kill this foul Deimos with.
|
| I'm warning you sir, please stop this nonsense at once, or I will be forced to stop you.
|
| Why would you side with that monster against your own kind!?
|
| Aren't you going to do anything?
|
| Stop Kharg from making an ass of himself on camera? Why should I?
|
| Hmph, those who side with the deimos are no better then the monsters themselves. Get in my way and I'll cut you down too.
|
| I warned you. Luna!
|
| Ugh!
|
| Hey, basics of battle, never turn your back on someone you were just trying to kill, bucko!
|
| Oof!
|
| Um, you didn't kill him with that, did you?
|
| Nah, just knocked him cold. What a jerk though. Would've served him right if I'd caved his head in.
|
| Well in that case, Gades, it was nice having you. Mind depositing Kharg in a dumpster on your way out or something?
|
| With pleasure.
|
| Well, now that that's taken care of. Peter, you were saying something?
|
| Oh, yeah. We came in on our own, since Chisato needed more room out there. She's got Ultros stretched out and pinned to a few tables and is beginning to work on Gilgamesh with his own swords. It's not pretty.
|
| Oh man, that's going to be alot of blood.
|
| Just be glad it's not you for once.
|
| Good point. What's a little blood?
|
| Anyway, I'm surprised you two managed to work together so well against Kharg, considering you're fighting each other this week for the championship.
|
| Eh, we're both heroes. It's what we do in a pinch.
|
| Well, I prefer to think of myself as more of a helpful scholar then a hero. I'm just out to learn as much as I can, though I do keep getting caught up in conflicts.
|
| Eh, half of one, six dozen of the other. If you do the good deeds, you're a hero, no matter what you'd rather be doing.
|
| The pursuit of knowledge is an admirable goal. Knowledge is power and power is money. And money is power, it's a wonderful cycle.
|
| Well, I'm not doing this for a profit.
|
| You're...not?
|
| Of course not. Knowledge should be free to all who wish to seek it out, and not controlled by anyone for any reason, especially not something so mundane as money.
|
| Your speech, it is alien to me. They sound like words I know, but being said in strange and bizarre ways.
|
| I suppose this wouldn't be the time to state my opinion of copyright laws and corporations as a whole?
|
| Probably not, unless you're trying to break him.
|
| Let's talk about something more pleasant. Like how are you two planning on killing eachother?
|
| Well, we both pretty much just fight. So it's going to come down to can I pummel his frail mage body into the ground before his dark magics take all the fight out of me. I'm betting yes.
|
| My life draining Nosferatu book should make sure that I outlast him. But Peter is quite correct, one way or the other this will be quite simple.
|
| Fascinating. Well, I'll let you two get back to whatever it is that you do. Odin, send in the Lights.
|
| Righto! Lani and Ricardo incoming.
|
 | One fight away from back to back championships.
|
 | Maybe so, but this isn't a fight you're winning, handsome.
|
| We shall see.
|
| It'd be more impressive if you were doing this in Middle after upgrading. But it's still a good showing. Think you'll have better luck in the pools this season?
|
| I think with seven consecutive wins in Light, I've made it clear that I'm too good for this division. Even if I lose now, I should be getting an upgrade.
|
| Don't worry, I'll leave the middles in such bad shape they'll be easy pickings for you.
|
| Confident in an upgrade as well, Lani?
|
| Between you and me, the smart money is on me to waste middle next season just like I did to Light. I've finally gotten my chance to get out of this pit, and I'm not wasting it.
|
| You haven't beaten me yet, senorita.
|
| You're so cute when you're in denial.
|
| Well, that little fiasco with Kharg is causing us to run over a bit on time, so do you two have anything else to add?
|
| No. I will let my skills in the arena do the talking.
|
| Nope. I'll see you again this time next season, just one division higher.
|
| Heh, gotta love a confident woman. Well, nice having you two. Watch out for Chisato on the way out.
|
| Oh, it's okay, I just finished.
|
| Oh dear. I don't suppose my crew is still in one piece, are they?
|
| More or less. Mostly more, really.
|
| Hey, there's less blood out here then I thought there would be!
|
| Somehow, that does nothing to settle my feeling of unease about this.
|
| Hey, don't knock it before you've seen it. I got in touch with my inner artist. Or my inner mad scientist, I'm never sure which is which. Anyway, presenting my latest masterpiece!
|
| ...uuuuuhhhh...
|
|
|
| Dear lord, what is that abomination?
|
| I call it Ultramesh. Two heads, six arms and eight tentacles of pure wisecracking and general uselessness.
|
| ...uuuuuhhhh...
|
|
|
| Well, they'll be back to wisecracking once the Brood strength painkillers wear off.
|
| You actually gave them painkillers?
|
| I thought I heard a distinct lack of horrid screaming.
|
| It was the only way I could get them to stop squirming long enough to operate.
|
| So, uh, I'm not sure I want to know, but where's Morte?
|
| Oh, him? I had him installed in the godlike ladies room. Disguised as a toilet. This should end in horrible embarrassment for some stuck up godlike bimbo and total annihilation for Morte.
|
| I...see. Odin, kill the cameras and start cleaning this up. Chisato...go do something far far away from me and anything I own. |
I, Kazan, bid you welcome to the RPG Dueling League, dedicated to the art of pitting the greatest warriors of the RPG Multiverse against each other in honourable combat! Within lies the greatest showcase of fighting talent you will ever lay your eyes upon!