 | I'm O to the D, owner of the G. My women fly and beg to please, I'm the all father of all that can be seen
|
| Stuck here on this lame ass set, mopping and sweatin and cleaning up a mess
|
| What that fat red haired ho and her minions don't know
|
| Is that the all father busted out Moppy and crushed the dust
|
| Punk ass Loki suck so much
|
| that I (Got Freya to) whip his ass and finish the job
|
| No sweat, no fuss, no muss
|
 | Augh!
|
| Spin it, my goddess!
|
 | I'm the Goddess of ferility
|
| Ether Strike's no joke
|
| Just ask that punk ass Loki, one blow knocked him off his ropes
|
| Stuck with a rapping Freya and Odin. What did I do to deserve this?
|
| For a trickster he ain't very funny. Laugh you scrub!
|
| *Sob*
|
| **************************Right outside the BtS studios******************
|
 | That..
|
 | I hate Loki that much. Besides which, the DL ruling council is meeting this week to see what the fresh meat will be this season.
|
 | Disgaea? Fire Emblem? Could be worse.
|
 | Could be XS3.
|
| Don't you play a major role in the game?
|
| Didn't you spend hours talking to Mark in Persona: Revelations? We all do things we regret.
|
| ..You have a point.
|
| Are we doing interviews, boss?
|
| Sure, whenever the viewers get tired of Odin making Loki suffer endlessly with his pathetic attempts at rapping and the ratings drop.
|
| You want to take the weekend off.
|
| Pretty much. I'm going to go scope out this 'Zenon' fellow and see if he's a threat in Godlike. Some overlord he is, being beaten by the likes of Adell and Tink.
|
| Gives me a chance to oogle some of the pretty Fire Emblem men. Ike is so... ahem! We will be back Sunday evening with a full episode of Behind the Scenes. This is Chisato Madison, signing off.
|
| That was more professional than I've come to expect from this show.
|
| Don't get used to it, she's always happy when she gets undeserved time off.
|
| **************************Later on******************
|
| Oh, hey, it's Monday. Whoops!
|
| A little too much weekend partying?
|
| No such thing!
|
| Word.
|
 | Now don't you start.
|
| I can't help that my rhymes is fresh. Yo.
|
| I guess this explains why your mop has spinner rims now.
|
| It's fun! It's like you take a normal object, and make it as shiny as possible! It's all I ever wanted.
|
| Doesn't it also make it impossible to mop with!
|
| Exactly!
|
| Huh. That's...surprisingly clever.
|
| No, not really, since now I can make him clean the bathrooms with his hands.
|
| You wouldn't!
|
| I won't...as long as you never, ever burst into rapping ever again. Ever.
|
| Hooray!
|
| Seconding that.
|
| All in a day's work on this set...unfortunately. Alright, get the minions in line and let's go.
|
| Sorry for the delay, readers, but Behind the Scenes is back on schedule! Week 4 promises to be as exciting as ever, and we, the BtS crew, will give you all the info you never wished to know about the duellers fighting in the arena! So, to start things off with, say hello to our Godlike duellists this week, Chaos and Jade!
|
 | All Villain Godlike this week!
|
 | Hell yeah!
|
| Well, you both seem to be in good spirits.
|
| It's a fun time. No wussy do-gooders stinking up the arena. We've been having a blast kicking puppies, setting fire to orphanges, kicking orphans, and setting fire to puppy orphanages. Plus, Kefka brought in his smoothie machine!
|
| It's like there's a party in your mouth and everyone's invited! And then you eat them.
|
| Riiight.
|
| Oh, and as for the match....well, you already know what I'm going to do. But it doesn't really matter who wins or loses, we're having so much fun.
|
| I can heal and do lots of damage. That's about it.
|
| Hey, let's head on back! I'm going to make some muffins!
|
| Hooray!
|
 | What..what kind of muffins would a bug make?
|
| I so do not want to think about it. Next!
|
 | ...
|
 | ...
|
| Like hell I'm interviewing Jenova and Eirikia. Now start talking!
|
| ...Does Dragon type have any advantage over Water?
|
| Uh, I have a spreadsheet somewhere...
|
| Here it is!
|
| Okay, get out the graphing calculator and some graph paper and let's take a look here.
|
| Don't forget to factor in wind resistance and gravity!
|
| Who do you take me for? Okay, Dragon does not have anything special as regards to Water, per se, but if you factor in the multipliers of your moves...
|
| Suicine has Ice and Flying type damage, remember.
|
| Yes. So if you want to maximize your attack you'll have to do it while upside down on a lunar eclipse during Midsummer's Eve. Easy!
|
| I...see.
|
| We have completely mastered this children's videogame! If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go lie down and weep for a bit.
|
| I need time to study this. Later.
|
| (Hah! They forgot to carry the 1!)
|
| Zzzz...huh? Oh, you're done. Very interesting. And for Middle, we have...
|
 | Hi!
|
 | Rose sure looks busy! I hope I don't need a spreadsheet to stab things with a spear.
|
| Well, since both of you can actually talk, let's hear what you have to say regarding the match.
|
| My magic should be able to handle him, no problem!
|
| Magic? Oh no! I can't spear my way outta that one!
|
| Plus, I can heal!
|
| Healing? Oh no! My spear won't do much lasting damage then!
|
| If that doesn't work, there's always my boomerang!
|
| A Boomerang? Oh no! It's one of those magic ones that hits someone and then flies back instead of dropping like any normal boomerang should! It's very irrational!
|
| In addition, I can cause Confusion!
|
| Confusion? Oh no! That's a debilitating status and may cause me to lose concentratio at a critical point in battle!
|
| Finally...I'm out of things to brag about.
|
| Oh no!
|
| Get lost, you moron.
|
| Leaving? Oh no! Now what will I do until I can go through dumpsters for food!?
|
| Ugh. Okay, just one more division to go...
|
 | 'allo!
|
 | Yar!
|
| Well, at least you guys have some personality.
|
| Nah, we're just stereotypes.
|
| Well, we'd be stereotypes if we had enough lines to set that up.
|
| Which we don't.
|
| But, anyway. Since both of us can't really do that much...
|
| All I really have is some mediocre magic.
|
| ...There's not much to say about the match except we'll give it our best.
|
| Considering this Light field, that might be enough to get a title.
|
| Fair enough.
|
| So, anyway.
|
| I'm going to go see if there are any of Jade's muffins left.
|
| Sounds like a good idea.
|
| Muffins? Oh boy!
|
| Idiots.
|
| I guess some people just need to learn. Anyway, wrap it up.
|
| With several duellers about to experience instense food poisoning, that's the end of this week's Behind the Scenes! Come back next week, readers, for the Season 44 Finals! I'll be seeing you then! |
I, Kazan, bid you welcome to the RPG Dueling League, dedicated to the art of pitting the greatest warriors of the RPG Multiverse against each other in honourable combat! Within lies the greatest showcase of fighting talent you will ever lay your eyes upon!