| Why's there a few dozen Rabites chewing on our intro host?
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| Oh, god, no. This is...I'm flashing back to my training exercises...
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| Why're you so upset, anyways? I thought you eventually beat one of them.
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| One, not...a....ravening....hordeohgodteethnomommynononooooooo...
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| I just get on stage, and one of you is already catatonic? And you didn't even need my help? I'm both impressed and saddened.
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| Regardless, welcome to Behind the Scenes, where Rabites chew on Middle bait. I'm your host, Chisato Madison, and these white fluffy things are more useful than half my supporting cast.
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| Hey!
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| ...godnonotthefaceI'mtooprettynotthefacenottheface...
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| ...and now this Rabite's clinging to me and I keep sparking with lightning bolts. On the upside, I feel pretty lucky right now.
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| Chief, I think Ultros is getting high off that Rabite.
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| Make that three quarters of my supporting cast. Morte, drag Kazan off stage so we can actually get a show started.
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| Are you kidding? I've bit an old man once. Taste stayed in my mouth for months. Not doing that again, no way.
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| Okay, my entire supporting cast is useless. I was entirely too generous earlier, and I apologize. Guess I need to deal with this myself.
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| Wow, she put an incredible spin on that old man. I don't think he's supposed to bend that way.
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| And now there's a Rabite Rainstorm. Oh well, nothing's perfect. Someone get the travelling circus finals out here.
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| Ehehehehee! I love your style, reporter!
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| I think that included you.
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| I know! Ehehehe! And all these Rabites are wonderfully fluffy! EHHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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| Great. He actually filled his prescription for his meds for once.
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| My god, you mean he's peaceful instead of destructive? That's like putting a tutu on a pitbull, or Solid Snake.
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| My god, yes, that idea's perfect!
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| It'd be better if he'd took all of the medicine and not just the anti-depressants, though. I think it's because they give him children's anti-depressants in fun shapes.
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| I think I'm going to vomit. On him. In his hair. Wait, he'd like it. Uggghhhhh.
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| How dare you fools ignore me!?
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| Oh, right, we have the trained flea to go along with the clown in this circus.
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| What!?
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| Actually, he's more of a tick.
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| Yes! You fool, how dare you malign my incredible insectoid powers!
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| Congratulations, you just got burned by Gilgamesh and agreed with the burn. You get a gold star. Let's bring out the Heavies.
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| How dare you! I haven't even had a chance to explain my strateg-
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| BoltX, BoltX, BoltX.
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| ...Right, then, I'll just be on my way.
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| C'mon Bunny, I just want to put you in a tutu! EEEHEHEHEHEHEHEE!
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| Even by my standards, this is just too sad. *CRACK.*
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| ...Did you just kill Kefka?
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| Double critical Tentacle.
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| I thought those didn't criti...never mind. You just keep holding on to that rabbit.
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| ...andthenapalmwasfallingandthoserabitebastardsjustkeptcomingfromsaigon... andwecouldn'tstopthemohgodnothejunglesareburning,BURNINGITELLYOU...
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| You know, I think I like him better this way. Let's bring out the heavy slaughterer and slaughteree.
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| Sui...?
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| No, no, you got the order wrong, Morte.
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| Sorry, Chief.
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| Slaughter...? But...it's...such a pretty...what is it, anyways?
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| Dog.
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| Looks like a cat to me.
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| Gerbil. Now shut up or I'll bite you both.
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| They pretty much have that conversation every time this comes up. It's the closest thing you're getting to an answer.
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| But...it's so pretty! Do I really have to fight it? Can't I just keep it as a pet?
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| SUI!
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| I think he's got a low opinion of you, so I guess not. Well, I can't blame him.
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| Awwww. Well, I guess my strategy for this match will be...
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| One shot it with a monster-weakness hitting sword.
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| Cuuuune...
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| I made it to the finals, and you won't even let me say my strategy? You people are cruel.
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| Says the person about to gut a pretty, mythical guardian beast thing. Bring out the Middles!
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| My, what a stunning woman.
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| Me? I...
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| Back off, she's spoken for. By her brother.
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| Ah, one of those.
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| I...I'll...just be leaving now.
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| Sui! Sui! Cune, Suicune!
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| Can't get Suicune to leave, chief, too busy playing with the Rabites.
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| Well, he's only adding marginally less noise to the enviroment than Odin's ramblings, and he seems to be helping the Rabites chew on him, not to mention keeping them out from under foot, so he can stay.
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| ...ohgodtherabitequeenhascomeformeandi'moutofgrenadesohgodnoithasabarrierlikethatfortunelady... ohgodnoican'tevenshootitnooooooglphm.
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| Annnnnd now Suicune's chewing on his head. Yes, this is an improvement. Oh, right, there's Middles here.
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| Yet again, I am ignored, insulted and derided.
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| Chisato has a list of people she's done that to, you know. It's not like she's picky here.
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| So why are you doing it again?
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| Some people are just really good targets. Most people, really. Anyways, you, strategy, go.
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| I shall simply display my dazzling swordsmanship and unstoppable Acala Seal and tear this foolish...king apart.
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| Riiiiight. Albert, mind if we tell him your strategy? We're on a roll today.
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| Only if I can join in.
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| Albert's just going to mock every bit of that by turning Dragoon!
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| Hmph! It's hardly that ridiculously simple!
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| Actually, it is. I don't really care if it works or not, it's fun to to yell out like that. But no, win or lose, your match will be pathetically simple.
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| ...Pardon me, miss.... I hate to interrupt, but these bunny things are trying to eat my horse, so I was hoping we could possibly get on with this match before I lose my mount in a messy way?
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| Speaking of pathetically simple, c'mon out, Walking Death Spell and Generic Fire Emblem Paladin!
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| ...I truly wish I didn't get that a lot.
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| That much, buddy?
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| The last time I got a pizza delivered, they just called me that.
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| Ouch.
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| Sadly, that beats the last couple of dates.
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| "Oh, Generic Paladin! Thrust your la-"-hey! Chisato actually missed me!
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| DAMN THE RABITE DERIVED LUCK.
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| Non, non, zis is no good, my magnique abilities are just being ignored!
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| Shut up, Mok-,er, Jean. Now, let's all join in together.
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| Death, Death, Death, except with two less Deaths!
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| Ahhhh, tres magnifique!
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| Sigh. At least I get a ton of money for getting instantly killed. I'm thinking of Job Changing.
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| What to?
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| Waffling between Dancer and Pegasus Rider.
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| Closets are bad. You should really get out of them more.
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| ...hm?
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| Just get out.
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| ...glphmlphphlhmlhphglgphlgtheblackrabiteohgodhistorturesinventedbyYoq-Sothoth... theendlesslightsofbrilliantpainandinsaneburningforgedfromtheverypitsofhell...
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| Where did these Rabites come from?
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| Yeah, about that. I found this closet in Odin's dressing room marked "Secret High Intensity Training Room For The Love Of God Don't Open This Ever". So I opened it.
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| Okay, we're back to 75% of the cast being less useful than Rabites.
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| Thanks, Chief.
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| On behalf of myself, Morte, these Rabites, the big blue Pokemon that's chewing on Odin's head, and all these other useless people, I wish you all a good ni-hey, hey, hey! Rabite! Stop chewing on that co-*KSHHHHHHHHHHHHH* |