I, Kazan, bid you welcome to the RPG Dueling League, dedicated to the art of pitting the greatest warriors of the RPG Multiverse against each other in honourable combat! Within lies the greatest showcase of fighting talent you will ever lay your eyes upon! Here, you will be able to vote on a series of Battles. weekly where the greatest warriors will square off in combat! Fighters are split into divisions, aptly named for the fighting prowess of those within. The victors each week continue on in a typical eliminations-style tournament, until a victor is crowned champion of each division. Here, you'll also find exciting bonus matches and other spectacles to seduce your battle-starved souls, enough honourable combat to fill even an old man like me with joy! Questions? Go here! In addition, there's another small tournament called Not Ranked, which pits an even wider assortment of unique, secretive and unknown warriors against each other in a similar vein. If you're looking for a favourite, it wouldn't hurt to check that out as well. The DL is more than answering the question of how fighters stack up. It's a repository of information about RPG's varying from the obscure to the well known. Every bit of data gathered from every dank duengon and musty library in the RPG universe is gathered here. If you youngsters want to talk about any RPG of any stripe, you're welcome here. Check out this center of learning and find out new information about your favorite games! You've done a good job paying attention, students. Here's the news for Season 46: Many disciples train long and hard to gain entry into the DL proper. In three weeks we'll see two new faces come forward and attempt to battle their way into the league. Think long and hard about you you wish to see enter the league when the time comes, and help us find the right games to add to our roster. Not Ranked is also returning soon. If you wish to find out more, contact Tonfa Baton at ourforums! Looking to make an impact? Have an opinion about a fight, or merely wish to tell a story about how your favorite fighter wins (Or how that dishonorable hated fighter loses?) Send in a comment on a fight this week! The fans who come to vote and write create some of the magic of our universe. If not for your contributions, we would have have seen the 'magical' side of Ghaleon, nor seen the fate that befell Zidane when he tried to outsmart Fou-Lu. So send in a writeup today, and help make the site a better place! Now here's Chisato to take you Behind the Scenes! ...Do I want to know why the studio actually has a live audience today? Profit? That's not the point. Did Nate just say money isn't the point? Don't make me crack you open, skull. We banned this practice after insurance premiums hit over a million zenny per guest, which far outstrips any profit you'll manage to make from this. Don't worry, boss. This should be relatively peaceful. And by 'peaceful' we mean 'the audience will kill our guests for us so we aren't nailed by the premiums'. Now you have me intrigued. What is this plan? A pun contest, from this week's contenders! ...Please excuse me while I hole up in my office and down a pipe of Amontillado. And that's our cue to begin! Welcome, everyone, to Behind the Scenes! I'm Chisato, your host, and today we have a special edition of Behind the Scenes, because today, it's Eternal Punishment with guest host, Ma-yaaaa Amano! Wait, you aren't hosting? You kidding me? I've got a date with that hunk Rufus Shinra! I can't be ar- Thanks, Chisato! Alright, everyone! This pun contest is simple; may the best punster win! Any style of pun will work, from the elegant buildup to the painful pin! Our first contestant is... Colette Brunel! Hi~! Shall I start? Whenever you're ready, darling! -nd we don't get time off when we have one? 'course not! We did buy off your debt to the Coliseum, after all- Ahem! Um... "Meteo-ur destiny at the Fire-y hands of this ice-cold magician! You Cur-a-ga-t no chance against this wizard, I Tellah! Why,-"OW IT BLEEDS AND STINGS! My! And I do believe that was meant to be a homage to you, Tellah. An embarrassment is what it was. Virus'll don't do a body good, but they sure helped this here mind. While Maya's recovering from the shock of that little bolt from the blue... We've got someone who, Atlas-t, has promised to shake this contest to the ground! The irascable speedster, that rogue machine, that Maverick Jude is the next contestant! And working right alongside him is Arche! Not In-Klein'd to believe me? Well, come on out, you two! ... ...what's taking so long? I don't know; lemme check. In the meantime, the next challenger is... Myria! Come on out, Myria! Thank you, Maya. Ahem. "I once had the honor of being the judge of a match between one of my esteemed colleagues, Fou-Lu, god-king of his Western empire, and a talented young fighter named Wugui, hailing from the Far East." Wugui's young? To me all you whippersnappers are just spring chickens. At least I kept my perfect doll-like figure even with age. Except against that Ryu kid. What can I say? He was being a twerp. Didn't want to play a nice game of slap!. Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes. "The primary referee for the match, however, was a spry young lad I admit to being quite fond of, named Crono. Sadly, someone didn't fill out the paperwork, and so Crono's little problem of being a silent main? Still in effect. Poor kid had hardly given up on his duties, however; he brought a nice little whistle with him." Ah, yes, this match. I remember it well. Wasn't that before the Complete Silence act was repealed? Ohohoho, you jump the gun a bit. Indeed it was. "However, things weren't as... civilized here as they are now; back then silent mains were silent. No scuffling of shoes, no clapping, nothing. And so the poor young lad stood there, attempting to start the match for three long minutes by blowing on that little whistle of his. Eventually, however, he got tired of it, as did the other two. I've never seen such overkill performed on a poor whistle: Game of Death, Dark Wave, and Luminaire all colliding into that thing one after the other. The two decided to call off the match from there. Frankly, myself, I can't imagine how that match would end, and would rather prefer the match not be held at all." ...ow. I see it coming and it huuuurts. "After all, East is East and West is West, and never the main shall tweet!" ... Yep. There is is. There's a humongous pool of blood and shedded flesh in the seating room. They made fun of my perm. Odin, there's been about ten puns thus far, right? Why are you asking that numbsk- I think so? Give or take a few accidental ones. ...wait, what? How did- Say what you will about Odin, he appreciates a good pun. Anyway, I've got to say that of these ten puns? No pun in ten did make me laugh. Hehe. Nice one, Ulty! ...And now Odin joins the pool of blood and flesh. Note to self: Ulty is not a usable nickname. I get mistaken for Ultimecia too often with that nickname. ... somewhat callous disregard for the report of a mass of dead bodies, I see. Right. Um, well, the only other person alive is Exdeath. I decided to save him for the fight in the arena. And as luck would have it, he's our final contestant! Come on out, Exdeath! You better be-leaf it! This night's not gonna be fruitless for any of you, since I'm in quite the cherry mood tonight! Me and my gang of Syc-An'-More Interior Decorators gonna spruce this place up! Hit it, Turnip! You gotta believe this night's knot gonna be what you expect, 'cuz I'm gonna be cleaning up the root of all your interior woes right here! Fir pete's sake, with these fashion choices, you're just aspen for it! Cellulose stuff that you don't need and go for minimalist, that's my creed! You better be oakay with that - cuz here. I. Come! Walnut get into the home design issues you guys have tonight, 'cuz- OW ITSTINGS ANDSTINGS ANDNEVER STOPSSTINGING ...Like a bee from its nest, so my bullet into your... well, bark. Guess it was worse than your bite. Oooh, nice style, dear. I do so appreciate the flash freeze you've put him under. I admit, I was frozen myself once I heard that chilly string of bad puns. I try. Anyway, that's all from Behind the Scenes - Eternal Punishment. Next week, Chisato'll be back. Don't miss it. Now, Odin. I've got instructions that you're to mop up any and all rogue blood puddles, so get to work. The rest of you, let's-