 | So let me get this straight. Not a single one of the finalists, champs or runners up, agreed to come in?
|
 | That's about the size of it, boss.
|
 | Cliff called in for Ayla. Seems she got so drunk she was hitting on the a Nu, and is still sleeping it off.
|
 | Yeah and the trashcan said there was a some really high probability that other people wouldn't show so we'd turn all our abuse on her so she just stayed home.
|
| It's so frustrating when the guests get savvy.
|
| Then Myria...
|
| Spare me everyone's excuses. We need something to do for a show today. Anyone have a suggestion?
|
| We could always call in the people fighting in the downgrade pools?
|
| Focusing on a bunch of losers is never good for ratings. Next?
|
 | Hey, what if we call them in and help them brush up on the weaknesses of the finalists to pay 'em back for snubbing our show?
|
| That's almost tempting.
|
| Better, at least. Anyone else?
|
 | I could do karaoke!
|
| We could get earplugs for us and subject whatever guests we do bring in to Odin's karaoke?
|
| That's pretty bad even for this show. Alright, we'll go with the pools. Round the guests up quickly, we'll take them in whatever order they can get here.
|
| Songi's practicing backflips on the roof. We can start with the Godlike pool.
|
| ...right. Well, bring him in, and hurry on getting the rest of the pool.
|
 | *CRASH* Did someone call for BACKFLIPS!?
|
| You're paying for that window.
|
| Sure I am. Anyway, for what reason have you interrupted my training? I've got a pretty full schedule of backflips, impressive poses and earth shattering destruction to perfect.
|
| Well, it's week six again, and we figured we'd take some time out to look at the poor bastards up for downgrading. This just so happens to include you.
|
| ...
|
| So we're going to ask you a few questions. And if we don't like your answers, we make you listen to Odin's Karaoke Night.
|
| Hey, I refuse to have my singing insulted by being used as a torture device! It compromises my integrity as an artist.
|
| I'll give you a 500 potch bonus for every guest your singing injures or drives insane.
|
| Really? Then let the music play!
|
| ...um...
|
| So, Songi, you'll be up against Necrosaro, Cyril, Eirika and the Heavies from this season. Who do you think your biggest threat is?
|
| The robot. No question.
|
| Interesting. Why do you say that?
|
| Are you serious? Have you seen some of the aerial loops she can pull? Even my backflips can only compete so well with ROCKETFEET!!!
|
| Do you ever think of anything besides flipping?
|
| Flipping is the ultimate form of expression! It's the physical representation of freedom and strength! It's...
|
 | Oh god, they let him get going.
|
 | Don't question the flips. It gets him waxing eloquent for hours.
|
 | Um...
|
| Something wrong, princess?
|
| ...the feel of the air rushing past your limbs as you rotate! The...
|
| Well, I'm just feeling a bit out of place, I guess. I mean, these three have been Godlikes for as long as I can remember, but I'm just a recent upgrader.
|
| It happens. Just try not to get smacked back down to Heavy.
|
| You'd know all about that, wouldn't you, squid?
|
| Hey!
|
| The failings of my minions aside, don't sweat it, Eirika. Some people go up and some people g...uh, downgrade. Just because you're new to the division, and aren't a baby chomping villain like these three, doesn't make you any less of a Godlike. Only dropping the ball in the pools will do that.
|
| On that note, the trashcan is a heavily armored tank, so don't try and punch it out without a good plan, and Ayla is a stupid cavewoman who got further then she should have by pure luck of the draw.
|
| You aren't saying anything we don't already know, but it almost sounds like you're trying to be helpful here...
|
| I was thinking the same thing. What's the catch?
|
| Not helping you so much as hating them. Only reason we brought you losers in is because they refused to show.
|
| ...and the landing! The landing is crucial. A perfect backflip with a sloppy landing is like a beautiful flower in a cracked and ugly vase...
|
| Should I start singing at him, boss?
|
| I'd advise against it. He'll likely turn whatever you sing into impromptu Church of Backflipping gospel or something nonsensical in that vein.
|
| Ugh. Do a couple flips out the door and see if he'll follow you. Then sing at him.
|
| Uh, I can try.
|
| So, Saro, Cyril, Eirika, think you'll hold on to your Godlike spots?
|
| I expect I will. Ayla isn't a threat, and I can at least beat one of these three, even if I somehow lose to the robot.
|
| Hah. Those pathetic Heavies beat me? You must be joking.
|
| I'll certainly try my best to prove my upgrade wasn't a fluke.
|
| Well, that's about all the interest we can expect people to have in you wimps, so get out of here while we move to the Heavy/Middle pool.
|
| So you're going to shore up fading interest in the weak by switching focus to those even weaker? Lovely logic you have there.
|
| Shut up and get out. Are the heavies here yet?
|
| Just got in. From heavy we have Kyra, Bruiser, Arngrim and Marivel up for the plunge.
|
 | Yeah, against Menardi and Jean. We're not going anywhere.
|
| I assume the rest of you agree with this sentiment?
|
 | Well I don't want to say anything mean about anyone...
|
 | I'll say it! Those two are staying put. I'll punch their heads off if they think they'll get my heavy spot!
|
 | This will be simplicity itself. The only question here is what order the four of us are getting. Naturally I'll be in first.
|
| You? Try making it past the first round sometime and then brag about what a good Heavy you are.
|
| Hey!
|
| Some dissention in the ranks, I see...hold on. What is that idiot doing?
|
| Oof! Ugh! Hiya-woah! Urg!
|
| Looks like he's trying to learn how to fall.
|
| Taking his role as the fall guy here too literally?
|
| He's failing at backflipping is what he's doing. Pathetic.
|
| That's supposed to be a backflip? Looks more like a backflop to me.
|
| What kind of allmighty god can't even tumble properly?
|
| The kind of god who ate three whole chocolate pies for breakfast. I don't think I can do this, boss.
|
| ...and if you get the arc just right, it's like magic! It's like sailing on a spinning rainbow...
|
| That's uh...an interesting metaphor.
|
| Getting back on track, which middle are the lot of you worried about more?
|
| Jean.
|
| Definately Jean.
|
| Neither, but if I have to pick one, Jean.
|
| Probably Jean.
|
| Ouch.
|
| Not worried about the FORMER GODLIKE CHAMPION!?
|
| Y'know, I think we've gotten about all the mileage out of that joke that we're going to.
|
| I think you're right. Had to give it one last try, though.
|
| Is there anything else?
|
| No, I think we're done here. Just remember that Menardi is...well, Menardi. And Jean is a squishy frog if you can get around death spam.
|
| Get around it? That pansy frog won't even get a spell off! Just look at these muscles!
|
| You have to admit, he does have an impressive physique.
|
| I'll take impressive armament over pure size, myself.
|
| Really? I mean, you're pretty big too...
|
| ...and if you can stick the landing on your enemy's head, it becomes the perfect insult...
|
| So do I get to sing at any of the Heavies?
|
| No. You can show them outside, though.
|
| Aww.
|
| We have Middles in here yet?
|
 | Nope. 'Fraid not.
|
 | Wait, this isn't the middle section? I could swear I waited in the right place though...
|
 | Don't confuse Dekar, Locke. It's not fair.
|
 | Oh come on Dekar, even you can't be THAT dense.
|
| Hey! I'm plenty dense! Just check out this armor? You think some skinny guy could wear this without falling down?
|
| That's not the kind of dense she...nevermind. Anyway...
|
| Hey, what's that guy going on about?
|
| ...the fourth form of flipping is of course the terrifying side flip. And I'm not talking about some measly cartwheel here, but a full flip, straight to the side, without going forward or back! If you can master this art, then...
|
| Just ignore him. Please.
|
| No, no, I think I get it. Man. That...that is far out.
|
| I think we've lost Dekar.
|
| That's a problem?
|
| No, no it's not. How about everyone who isn't a complete moron go over to that side of the room and have an interview away from those loons?
|
| Oh god, he's going to give my series a bad name.
|
| Your series already has a bad name.
|
| Hey, it's named after me!
|
| I think that's his point.
|
| As much as I enjoy the guests insulting each other, I want to get out of here and Nate won't let me until I ask you losers some questions. So let's get on with it. Coming up from Light are Red Wizard and Yukimaru. Any thoughts about them?
|
| Liberal application of fire, a bit of hypnosis and some protective measures will mop up this entire pool. This is nothing for a genius like me to even worry about.
|
| Fightin' words there.
|
| Think you can do better?
|
| Nah, I'm not concerned with beating you, just the Lights. I figure I'll just fight it out, and if I can't win fair I'll cheat them out of it.
|
| You know they probably watch this program, right? You just told them you're going to play dirty.
|
| So? Yukimaru's an idiot and Red Wizard's a generic. I could tell them I was cheating while I was doing it and still pull it off.
|
| You two sound pretty confident. Lufia?
|
| Well of COURSE I'm going to win. What do you expect?
|
| Have fun in Light.
|
| I'm sure RW will put your middle spot to good use.
|
| What? I have never been so insulted!
|
| Really? I could swear we've had you on the show before...
|
| ...then you turn a figure eight in mid air...
|
| ...woah...
|
| Just remember to kill the generic before he can cast Ruse and...hell, just kick the girl or something. How'd she make it to the finals, anyway?
|
| I dunno. Anyway, boss, are we done here? I'd really like to go, Songi wasn't bothering me before but now that he's got an audience it's kinda creepy.
|
| Ugh. I'm going to have to leave those two alone until they finish and wander out on their own, aren't I?
|
| Looks like it.
|
| *sigh* Yeah, fine, let's go.
|
| Wait, were you going to let me sing at anybody? I wanted that potch!
|
| Nope. Ultros forgot to buy earplugs so I'd have had to listen to it too. That's just not an option.
|
| Aw man...
|
| Okay, well from all of us at Behind the Scenes, enjoy the post season and don't forget to check out the infinite struggle of failures in the pools! This is Chisato Madison, signing off!
|
| ...and in this manner will I achieve TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION!!!!!
|
| BRILLIANT! |
I, Kazan, bid you welcome to the RPG Dueling League, dedicated to the art of pitting the greatest warriors of the RPG Multiverse against each other in honourable combat! Within lies the greatest showcase of fighting talent you will ever lay your eyes upon!